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Tag Archives: online dating

A Joe, a Jerk and an Unapologetically Aries

10 Saturday Aug 2019

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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“We are all hypocrites. We cannot see ourselves or judge ourselves the way we see and judge others.” ― José Emilio Pacheco

Joe. He is one of the Joe’s I wrote about the other day.  I was not sure I like the idea of being asked out just because it was convenient.  I was not excited about him romantically either. For those reasons I didn’t think a second date would happen.

But it did! It happened because it was convenient – oh the hypocrisy of it all! Shame on me!

Here is my reasoning:  I was not excited about him romantically, but I did have a nice time on the date.  I figured a second meeting wouldn’t hurt, especially since all I had to do was to walk across the street to the same restaurant from the first date.

We had a good time, as we had had the first date.  We talked and joked the whole time but there was no romantic vibes.  Third date?  no, but I am open to meeting as friends.

***

“I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.”  – ― Abraham Maslow, 

The jerk and the unapologetic Aries

The jerk is a 57 yr old attorney and the unapologetic Aries is me.   We made plans to meet a couple of times and he flaked.  When I said I didn’t want to meet him anymore he asked for another chance and I said ok.

I met him at a Mexican Restaurant near my home. It started off fine with us making some small talk.  He did some complaining about the ex-wife, which is a huge turn off for me, but I was able to change the subject.

Then he mentioned that Aries people are very difficult. He proceeded to tell me all the ways people born under the sign of Aries are extremely difficult to get along with, specially with a Sagittarius(him).  He said that I showed how difficult I was when I had decided not to meet him because he had canceled last minute twice.  He went on and on.

I agreed with him.  I don’t think he expected that.  I think he expected an argument.  Why would I try to disagree with him?  It wouldn’t change anything.  It would just make me not enjoy my food.  I ordered the skirt steak and I was looking forward to it.

Aries people can indeed be difficult people.  We are impatient and opinionated.  We are impulsive and think we know it all.  We are also great leaders, fiercely independent, passionate lovers and generous to a fault.

Instead of defending Arieses (is this really the plural of Aries, just seems such a funny word), I asked him questions about Astrology.  He seemed to know a lot about it.  I did ask him why did he want to meet me since, according to him, we were not a match?  He said he was open minded.  I laughed.

Certain traits are definitely more distinguished among people of a same sign, that is for sure. I have been able to guess some people’s signs just by the way they conducted themselves.  Every sign has its good and bad traits, but to generalize and make assumptions like he did is troublesome and unfair.

Two of my favorite people are Sagittarius. We have an amazing relationship. So Sagittarius and Aries can get along.

I am so happy to be an Aries!  I think it is the best sign in the zodiac!  🙂

He came in ready to dislike me.  He succeeded in that and more.  I didn’t like him either.  The skirt steak however, was divine!

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” ― Isaac Asimov

 

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Two fun weekends and two guys named Joe

31 Wednesday Jul 2019

Posted by in Daily Life

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“Reclaim your curiosity, your sense of adventure, and have some fun. Don’t take every moment of your life so seriously. Allow yourself to enjoy life.” ― Akiroq Brost

A little glimpse of what I have been doing the last couple of weeks, when I was not too busy texting a married guy (a little self-deprecation humor never hurts)

Work:  I sent the final response letter to the auditors yesterday.  I thought this day would never come.  I hope this response is acceptable and I won’t hear from them for another few years.   Now I am preparing for a lot changes at work. I will be talking more about it in the next month or so.

My sister and I had a busy couple of weekends with friends visiting.

July 20th. A 27 year old friend of mine came for the weekend. On Saturday we went to a Quiet Clubbing/Silent Disco event at 230 Fifth Ave in Manhattan.  We were given headphones with 3 stations.  There were 3 DJs and we got to choose which one to listen to.  I had fun flipping from station to station and when it all got too much I just removed the headphones and silence reigned.  It was a fun experience.  On Sunday we went for brunch at Chat 19 in Larchmont, NY.  Always a favorite place to go to for a meal.

July 27th. A 57 year old friend of my sister visited.  On Saturday we went to a new restaurant I wanted to try: Little Drunken Chef in White Plains, NY.  It was a fun atmosphere and great food. We had, among other things, the empanadas in the picture above.  After that we went to the Empire City Casino.  No big win, but no big loss either.  On Sunday we had pizza at Colony Pizza in Port Chester, NY.  It was my first time eating their pizza in over 20 years.  It is a very thin crust, delicious! I also had the best prosecco ever, in the picture below!

Dates: In the past week I had 2 dates with guys named Joe.

First Joe.  He is 50 years old. He is in IT and has a young son. We met at Modern Restaurant in New Rochelle.  We shared a pizza.  He seems very nice, but is constantly busy even to reply to texts.  It seems more like lack of interest.  He asked me out for drinks next Monday night because he will be in my area for business.  I am not sure I like the idea of being asked out just because it is convenient.  I was not excited about him to begin with, so I think the second date will not happen.

Second Joe.  He is 65 years old. He is semi-retired accountant. We met at Burrata in White Plains, NY.  I had delicious short ribs filled pasta dish.   The conversation was great until it turned to politics.  I am not a fan of Trump but I am respectful of other people’s opinion.  He is a hardcore Trump fan.  He detests immigrants, but as he says it, from certain countries only, trying to tell me that Brazilians are okay, but Guatemalans are not.  He wanted to go on and on about Trump to try to change my mind.  I asked him to stop.  I said I understood both sides of the immigration debate, and I do.  I said I hope that Trump is successful as I love the US but it would be a waste of time to try to change how I feel about him.  Finally I was able to change the subject and it seemed that we were able to forget about politics and enjoy dinner.

I got home and sent a text thanking him for dinner.  He replied the next morning with a long list of compliments about me, with everything from smart to funny and everything else in between.  Then there was just silence.  I was not excited about him but I decided to confront the silence.  That is a new thing for me.  I would normally just ignore, since silence is an answer in itself but I decided to ask what happened.

He replied with, again, many compliments but said that he was no sure about me because of our political separation. He said he loved Trump and he was not happy about Obama.  Why did Obama make an appearance in this conversation I don’t know.  I said thank you for the explanation and wished him luck.

Next!

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” ― Roy T. Bennett

Breaking up a non-relationship : Ending before it starts

25 Tuesday Jun 2019

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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“To conceal anything from those to whom I am attached, is not in my nature. I can never close my lips where I have opened my heart.” ― Charles Dickens

It is funny breaking up with someone when there was never a “we”.  There was a potential “we”, a future “we”, but never a “we” now.  Still I realize the need to break things off.  He had a “we” in his heart and mind.  I couldn’t let that go on.

I wanted to wait and tell D. in person of my decision to stop seeing him until his life was sorted out.

Even though we really don’t have anything and have gone only as far as a kiss on the lips and a hug, I always felt that he thought this was a full blown committed relationship.

I hate the idea that I am leading somebody on, even though I have told him many times that I am still on the dating site and would continue to date other people.

With each passing day I was agonizing over it, so to preserve my sanity and to feel I have done right by him I wrote him a text this morning.  See below.

It was a spur of the moment decision.  I probably could have done a better job of writing the text.  Now rereading it I cringe, I definitely could have been clearer and kinder.  But I am glad I sent it.

Now it is done, and it seems he understood.  I was getting the feeling that he was feeling under pressure to sell the house and get things resolved because of me.  I like to think that now he can sit back, relax and do things in his own pace and follow his heart.

But above all, I don’t want miscommunications, misunderstandings and never ever cause anybody any pain that could have been avoided.

The elusive third date

24 Monday Jun 2019

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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“Life is a long preparation for something that never happens.”  –― W.B. Yeats

Amazing what a difference a couple of days makes.  On Friday I was all excited about the third date with J. this weekend.

Now, Monday morning,  I am sitting here wondering what happened. Ok, I am not wondering too much.  I am used to online dating.  I have learned to expect anything, everything and nothing.  People are fickle.

But really, what happened? Is it an issue with communication? Expectations? No, I think it is just a case of “he is just not that into me”.

The truth is easy and simple:  if nothing is happening is because there is no interest.

We had 2 great fun dates.   We laughed, joked and ate great food.  He seemed interested.  We text many times throughout the day, every single day.  We still do.  He is texting me as I write this.

On Wednesday he asked me when we would see each other again. I responded: ”When you ask me out again”.  He replied: “Perhaps this weekend if you are not too busy”.  I said: “as of now I am completely free”.  To me that is a big open door, all he has to do is walk through it.  He didn’t.

Patience is a conquering virtue.” – Geoffrey Chaucer

We continued texting.  Friday night came and went, then Saturday, then Sunday.  He never mentioned going out.  I didn’t ask.

I cannot say I was disappointed, but I was surprised.  And of course, I am curious.

My sister said I should have called on Saturday morning and asked if we were going out.  I didn’t want to.  I just went about my life.  I don’t want to be forcing a guy to go out with me.

As we were texting throughout the day yesterday I wrote:  “I thought I was going to see you this weekend .  He answered: “me too”.  He proceeded to text me pictures of his dog.

At one point when I asked how was his Saturday night, he said he went to fix his mother’s toilette.

I know that I could have been the one to ask him out.  I would have and have done in the past with other guys, but it never turned out well.  I end up realizing that the guy didn’t really want to see me again to begin with and I felt like I was forcing the situation.

“That was the thing about the world: it wasn’t that things were harder than you thought they were going to be, it was that they were hard in ways that you didn’t expect.” ― Lev Grossman

I am looking for a man that is more “take charge”, specially in the beginning.  I am aggressive by nature.   I go after what I want.  But in regards to dating I like the man to take the wheel, otherwise I will, and then resent him for it.  I will become the boss of the relationship, in charge of everything.  I don’t want that.  Was he waiting for me to say anything? Who knows.  The truth is that if he was, then we are not a match.

I will be clear with a guy about my interest.  No one has to read my mind. But I want him to step up and make the plans, at least in the beginning. Wrong or right it is what I want and need.

Will there a third date?  Who knows? All he has to do is ask.  I want to tell him: “You better strike while the iron is hot” 😉  because is getting cold by the minute.

Things are exactly the way they should be.  I am learning to just let nature take its course and not force anything.

I continue learning, getting better and happier!

 “Let nature take its course. By letting each thing act in accordance with its own nature, everything that needs to be done gets done.” ~”― Lao Tzu

What not to say on a first day

06 Thursday Jun 2019

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, EX Files, Finding Me

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“Trust your heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backward.” ― E.E. Cummings

Last Thursday I decided to accept a spur of the moment invitation for coffee.  This is a person that I had just started exchanging messages with and didn’t know anything about him.  I wasn’t that interested but thought I could spare 10 minutes and see if there was any chemistry.  After all, how bad could it be?

BAD! It was really bad.  I am normally able to get something out of any date I have, except this one.  It is common for me not to have any chemistry but to like the person enough to want a friendship, but not with this one.

As soon as I sat down, and by the way he sat on the chair and I had to sit on top of the air vent.  As he studied my face he asked: Do you only wear glasses? Do you plan on getting contact lenses?   I said: no.  I was a little taken aback by this question.  He pressed on: Why not?  You never considered it?

I said: No, not really.  On my list of things to do or to change about myself, contact lenses comes in at the very last, if at all.

He seemed disappointed and proceed to tell me how an ex-girlfriend once convinced him that everyone looks better without glasses.  No matter how beautiful someone is, glasses are never a good look. So he now wear contacts. Then, sounding disappointed he added:  but you already said you have no interest.

I changed the subject by asking him about his day and his work.  He mentioned he was almost retired.  That he was tired of dealing with employees and now only took care of a few select clients.  He has some kind of electrical work company.

“Conceited people never hear anything but praise.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Instead of perhaps asking about my day and my job, he then asked me what I thought of all the men online.  Before I had a change to answer his question, he said: I have been told that most men are short and bald, so because I am tall and have all my hair I am better than 99% of the men online.

I politely reminded him that hair and height was not what I valued about people, that I was interested in the whole person, and more about the inside than the outside.  I doubt he heard me. If he did, he ignored it.

I geared the conversation towards food.  I asked him if he cooked.  He said that now he did, but for the longest time all he did was eat in fancy restaurants.  He mentioned how an ex-girlfriend turned him into a foodie and a traveler. He also mentioned that she paid for everything. But added: but I am not going into that now.

He also mentioned an ex-girlfriend that disappeared after she spent a weekend at his apartment.  He suspects that she was after his money and needed a green card and after she saw that he lived in a studio she thought that there was nothing there for her to go after.  He asked me if I agreed with that assumption since the girl in question was also Brazilian. I said: “that calls for a lot of speculation and assumption and I am not about to do that without having her side of the story”  I got a disappointed face again.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt

After these painful minutes I got up to leave mentioning a train I had to catch.  He got up with me and hugged me good bye.  He then asked if I was intimidated by his height.  I looked at him in surprise and asked:  Why would I?  Why would anyone?  He looked disappointed again. One would think he is 7 feet tall, but even though he said he is 6’4, I don’t believe it.  My boss is 6’4 and this guy was definitely shorter.

Needless to say I had zero interest in getting to know him better.  He emailed that night to say that he was unsure about the chemistry – as if there was any chance I would be interested in him. I, humoring him, said: sleep on it.

The next morning I wrote him and I said that there was really zero chemistry and wished him luck.  He asked me to keep his number in case I ever had any event to attend and wanted him to accompany me.  I wanted to reply that he was just too old to be a gigolo, but chose silence instead.

And another bullet was dodged 🙂

“He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.”  – ― George Bernard Shaw

Older, wiser and still crazy

26 Tuesday Mar 2019

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Date 6 with D. was a week ago. We went to a Italian restaurant near my house and had pizzette and wine.  We have been meeting every Saturday but yesterday I had already scheduled a sleepover with my goddaughter and her sister so we couldn’t meet then. On Sunday he had to travel for business.  We will see each other this coming weekend if he is back by then.

He is such a sweet, nice gentleman, probably a bit more on the shier side than I am used to. We are cultivating a slow friendship, and that is probably the best way to go at this point since we don’t know when his life will be less tangled.

“Don’t be afraid to be confused. Try to remain permanently confused. Anything is possible. Stay open, forever, so open it hurts, and then open up some more, until the day you die, world without end, amen.” – ― George Saunders, The Braindead Megaphone

My sister and I will turning 53 this Thursday,  March 28.  I cannot believe I am that age already. Where did time go?  I was 30 yesterday.  I have so much to see and do still, it doesn’t seem there will be enough time.  How can I make every second count? How can I not lose sight of what is really important in life and not get bogged down in stupidity?

We had so many ideas of what to do to celebrate our birthdays, but again timing is not on our side.  I have this audit and other matters hanging over my head and she is getting ready to start a new job on April 1st.  She got the job she wanted.  It is in a Brazilian financial company that is growing by leaps and bounds.  It is entry level but she will learn a lot and there is a lot potential for growth.  The salary is entry level too but at this point she can manage on that.

We have so many reasons to be grateful and celebrate! The list is very long.  It is easy to get bogged on the adversities.  It is easy to take one difficulty and let it take over my life.  It is easy to fall into the victim mode.  But at the end of the day I know the list of my blessings is immense by any measurement stick.

“You solve it as you get older, when you reach the point where you’ve tasted so much that you can somehow sacrifice certain things more easily, and you have a more tolerant view of things like possessiveness (your own) and a broader acceptance of the pains and the losses.”  –  Ted Hughes, Letters of Ted Hughes

So we decided to just choose a local restaurant that we haven’t gone to before.  And because I can be crazy sometimes I decided to let a ghost from the past join us.  What is life if not for the crazy moments?

I think I mentioned a guy I dated 12 years ago that texts me every now and then.  For the past few years I mostly ignore him since he has a girlfriend and I don’t want any issues.  Lately though I started replying to his texts and surprisingly we have become friends.  I replied because he was not flirty and seemed genuine about just a friendship.  He knows that friendship is the best he will ever get from me and he says he is happy and honored with that.

He had mentioned wanting to buy me dinner to celebrate my birthday.  Well, he has been inviting me to dinner every single time we text, but I had decided not to meet him.  I changed my mind and said I would meet him.  I thought he would not take me up on going out with my sister and I, but he jumped at the chance.

I think it will be fun seeing him again since I don’t even remember what he looks like.

“Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.” ― George Carlin

I continue to prepare all the documentation necessary for the audit.   There are moments I go crazy thinking of all the potential issues and all that can wrong.   Still there are moments that I am calm and serene.  It has been a roller-coaster of emotions.

Slowly I can see the good in this audit. It will be good to see if some of what I am doing is actually up to par to all that is what is required.  Did we improve from the last audit? And perhaps it will bring about some changes to what we have been doing.  I don’t agree with all that we do and how we do it.  We don’t do anything illegal but still I see areas where change would be welcome and would probably make my job easier.

“Make improvements, not excuses. Seek respect, not attention.” – Roy T. Bennett

 

 

Dates and Updates: the very young, the poor and the complicated

11 Monday Mar 2019

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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Update on dates:

The 33yr old guy. I knew that he was not dating material because of the age difference.  I was hoping we could have been friends as he was one of the nicest men I ever met.

He offered my sister a job and had said that there were no strings attached, that I was doing him a favor if she took the job.  He wanted me to stop by his store.  So on a Saturday I did.  He showed me around and at one point tried to hug me.  I pretended I didn’t understand it and moved away.

Immediately after vising the store we went out to lunch and had a great time laughing as old friends. We said good bye with a hug and there was no hint that there was anything wrong.  Then he disappeared. I got worried as this was a person that was texting me daily, many times to just say hi.

I reached out and after a few days he texted back saying that he had taken a few days off for vacation.   Whatever happened was just too odd, and I could tell something was off.  So I just let things fade away.  And my sister is staying away also.

Some things I cannot understand at the moment, but I thank my guardian angels and move on.  This is such a case.

“With the world as with people, you know only the tiny percentage you pay close attention to.” ― Steve Toutonghi, Side Life

The 48yr old student/professor. He was smart and fun.  He had asked me on a second date for Thursday and we said we would be in touch and decide where to go.

Then after a long silence he wrote to say that I was amazing but that he didn’t have a car and finances to treat me the way I deserved.  It was the weirdest text ever.  Full of compliments and then declaring poverty.

I normally never drive to meet anyone on the first date.  When I met him I decided to step outside my comfort zone and drive to his town, 20 minutes away and meet him at a lounge there.  I had one drink that probably cost $7.00.  While we didn’t talk about finances, I never made any comments about wanting to be wined and dined and he made it seem that he was not struggling.

I am not sure what he was angling here.  Did he want me to be driving to meet him all the time and to always pay for the dates?

That is definitely not happening.  While I have no problem paying my way or taking turns paying I am not about to start supporting anyone.  I respect and applaud his decision to go back to school and to get another degree but I don’t know him well enough to go down that road.

So I joked that that was the nicest let down ever.  He continued to text and said that he still wanted to see me.  I just said that we would continue talking and perhaps meet again, but we haven’t texted ever since.  I am not sure if friendship is an option either.

“Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.” ― Suze Orman

Complicated D.  Yesterday was date number Five with D.  Not that I am keeping track 😉

I am not sure where it will go. I am trying hard not to have any expectations and to take things for what they are at the moment: two friends having dinner and getting to know each other.

This is how it normally goes: We meet at a restaurant. Have a fun time with great food and great conversation. After dinner we normally take a walk to my destination, the train, or my building.

We do some kissing good bye, a bit more passionate now, but nothing embarrassing. Then we do a bit of texting every other day until we meet again.

It seems everything is hanging in the balance until the sale of his house.  Until this house is sold nothing will happen. No divorce. No freedom.  It is a very expensive house, so it will not be that easy to sell.  I have my fingers crossed that his life gets uncomplicated soon.  In a way this waiting is good.  It forces us to go slow and not rush into anything.

“Are you aware that rushing toward a goal is a sublimated death wish? It’s no coincidence we call them ‘deadlines.” ― Tom Robbins

Enjoying the wait while dreaming of the future

05 Tuesday Mar 2019

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“You are a child of the universe, 
no less than the trees and the stars; 
you have a right to be here. 
And whether or not it is clear to you, 
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” 
― Max Ehrmann

I had another date with D.  This time he drove to my town on Saturday night.  We met at 9pm at a wine bar called Gnarly Vine.  We shared a pizza and a couple of glasses of wine.  We were there until 11:45pm.  We would have stayed longer but they normally close at 10:30pm.  We were the last ones to leave.

As usual we had a great time talking about everything.  He gave me a better insight on his various businesses.  I enjoyed mostly talking about the trips we want to take together.

He held my hand and mentioned how special he thinks I am and how happy he is to have found me.  Again he expressed his wish to have his house sold soon and be done with the divorce.  Again I tried to reassure him that I will be patient and wait.

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. 
…live in the question.” -― Rainer Maria Rilke

In the meantime I manage my impatience by still being on dating sites and going on dates.  I told him about that and he seemed to understand.  I probably didn’t need to tell him that, but I don’t want miscommunication.   I pretend I don’t really care if he ever gets divorced, but after 4 dates I am really growing to like him and to dream about the possibility of a future together.

At this point he seems very sincere in his words, transparent in his actions and really interested in a future together. I am taking the “wait and see” approach. I am enjoying the moment regardless of the outcome.

Up to now there was only a couple of quick kisses, but that changed when he walked me home after the date on Saturday.  In the lobby of my building we exchanged some kisses that made me crave more of him.

He is also started texting more. I think he is starting to believe that this can become serious.

“A warrior of the Light is never in a hurry.  Time works in his favor; he learns to master his impatience and avoids acting without thinking.” ― Paulo Coelho, Warrior of Light

So, on that note yesterday I had a date with a student/professor.  A. is 48 years old and lives in a neighboring town.  He teaches and is also working on his second PhD, to go along with his many other degrees.  The conversation was stimulating to see the least.  We talked for many hours.  I think I would be the injection of fun that he needs in his life.  Last night after the date he sent me a text: “Really enjoyed being with you and wish the night didn’t have to end.  Attractive, caring, intelligence.”

He was a very nice man and last night asked for a second date on Thursday. I said yes, but now I am not sure. I guess there is no harm in seeing him again.

“If I cease searching, then, woe is me, I am lost. That is how I look at it – keep going, keep going come what may.” – Vincent van Gogh

 

The waiting game and spark-less dates

16 Wednesday Jan 2019

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“The happiness you are seeking is not to be found in the flow of life, but in your attitude toward whatever life brings.” ― Ramesh S. Balsekar

Life proceeds with the ups and downs.  I proceed with gratitude.  On the downs I tell myself that it will pass and I remember the ups.  Without the downs life would just be flat and boring.  At the up times I remember to be even more grateful.

SALE OF APARTMENT

The contract is signed.  I am hoping to close soon but we have to wait for the title search that normally takes 2 to 3 weeks.  For this impatient Aries having to wait is painful, but it is also a chance to learn acceptance.  So I sit back, breath and inhale patience.

I was at the apartment last night and I remembered how much I loved living there.  It is so cozy.   I moved out to go live with the ex-boyfriend.  After 3 years there he cheated on me and broke my heart, and I started this blog.

I felt a bit nostalgic.  I reminded myself the reasons why I am selling it: for simplicity, for less encurbements.  It is the end of a chapter.

“It is always important to know when something has reached its end. Closing circles, shutting doors, finishing chapters, it doesn’t matter what we call it; what matters is to leave in the past those moments in life that are over.” – Paulo Coelho

DATES

I have had a couple of date these past several days.  I decided to keep those 2 very short, just coffee dates.

Mr. A.  He is 61 and is a psychologist and also involved in a business venture.  We met at a nice coffee shop in my neighborhood.  His ex-wife and business partner was having issues and texting him non-stop.   For some reason I didn’t really care about that.

He is a bit too much for me.  It is hard to explain.  He talked non-stop.  I had trouble keeping up with all he was saying.  No chemistry but I think we may still become friends and bond over spirituals and zen pursuits.  Some of what I was able to grasp from what he was saying was actually interesting.

Mr. L.  He is 55 and works for the NY Federal Court System.   We met in Grand Central Station, which was very convenient for me, so I appreciated his thoughtfulness with that.  We had some pleasant conversation but I did most of the talking.  We seem to be at very different stages in life even though we are almost the same age.  Again, a good guy but not for me. Zero chemistry.

“Let yourself disappear in the darkness; if you are loved, people will come and find you with torches in their hands! Love is a great searcher; it always searches the loved one! To see who really love you, just disappear!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan

Dates and Decisions

05 Saturday Jan 2019

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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DATING

Update on the date with Mr. J. – We met at a Brazilian restaurant on 46th Street called Ipanema.  We had a couple of appetizers that were delicious.  I had the passion fruit caipirinha and he had the original one.

We talked non-stop like old friends and bonded over our love of skiing. Unfortunately there wasn’t much chemistry.  Also his divorce is not final yet and he is still living in the family home.  It is going to be awhile until he gets his situation sorted out and I don’t want to get involved in it, chemistry or no chemistry.

I have no dates schedule.  I want to date more but I will only schedule something if I think that there is an inkling of chance that I will meet a lover or a friend.

Speaking of friend, I have a friend date scheduled with my friend A. for another sauna, gym and food session tomorrow.  We are going to try a natural organic vegetarian restaurant. I am shocked to say that I am looking forward to it. 🙂

“None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith.” ― Paulo Coelho

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APARTMENT SALE (Simplifying life)

My apartment was listed on Thursday afternoon.  By the end of the day I already had an offer for my full asking price.  Did I list too low?  It is hard to tell.  It seems comparable to apartments in the area and the ones that have been sold in the complex.

At the same time there are not a lot of similar properties in the market so my realtor and I hoped to generate a buzz and possibly receive multiple offers. I was hoping for a cash offer and not have to deal with waiting for financing, etc.

The person that made the offer is someone that has been interested in the apartment for years.  She wanted to rent but missed that to someone that gave me a full year of rent payments in advance.

She made the offer on the condition that I would not go through with an Open House  scheduled for tomorrow.  I declined. I want to do at least one and see what happens.

I don’t think this person will go away if she really wants it, but it is a gamble.

I am a bit sad about selling this apartment.  I really loved it when I lived there but the chances that I will go back and live there are slim to none. The apartment I live at now has 2 bedrooms and is closer to the train station. Two things I need at this time.

On the other hand there is jubilation.  There is this feeling of freedom and of leaving the past in the past, good or bad.

Time to let go, move on and simplify.

“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.” – Henry David Thoreau