Tag Archives: first dates

Sparks may not be enough to cross state lines

21 Tuesday Feb 2023

Posted by in Daily Life

≈ 27 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

“Love liberates. It doesn’t bind. Love says, I love you. I love you if you’re in China. I love you if you’re across town. I love you if you’re in Harlem. I love you. I would like to be near you. I’d like to have your arms around me. I’d like to hear your voice in my ear. But that’s not possible now, so I love you. Go.” ― Maya Angelou

Since I have run out of available bachelors in New York State, I have branched out to other states. Just kidding… Maybe not.

BW is 59 years old, works in data marketing and lives in Boston. He looks and acts much younger than his years.  That is a plus.

We had exchanged messages for a couple of weeks, then met this past weekend.  He had to bring his son to New York City, so it was convenient for him to stop by and meet me.

He booked a room at the Marriott Residence Inn for Friday night.  He mentioned he could extend his stay if I wished.  We had dinner at Modern Restaurant, my go-to lately.

He brought me these gorgeous flowers all the way from Boston. Extra points for that.

We got along super great.  There were sparks and tons of laughs. However, I have other things to consider besides chemistry.  

He has been divorced for 2 years and has 2 pre-teen kids.  The kids stay in the family home and the parents take turns.

He is stuck in Boston, and will have a lot responsibility for the next 8 to 10 years.  Do I want to move to Boston? Do I want to be in a long distance relationship for that long?

My other concern besides the distance is that he seems to be dating anything in a skirt.  I question how serious he would be about about dating only one person, near or far.

After the dinner on Friday night, we went by my apartment.  I wanted to show him where it was so he could meet me the next day.  I invited him in to show my mosaics.  And by mosaics, I mean mosaics!

“Distance had an extraordinary power.” ― Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse

I gave him a tour.  He left after a few minutes.  The next morning, we met outside my building around 10am.  We were going to walked around town for a little bit, but it was way too cold and windy.  So we just walked to the bakery and the bagel shop, then returned to my apartment.  

We stopped by my sister’s apartment and invited her over for breakfast at my apartment.  It was fun, we all we were joking and talking as if we had known each other for years.

After my sister left, we just spend the time talking and laughing.  Apparently I am a funny person.  Because of the late breakfast we had a late lunch of tuna sandwiches around 2pm.  He thought the sandwich was delicious. 

He left to go back to Boston around 4pm.  I didn’t ask him to stay another night.  He was great company, we had sparks and all, but I thought another night it would be too much for a first date.

He is supposed to return in a couple of weeks.  I want to reflect on this a bit more, before I actually have him return.  

In the meantime, this just happened… just because I mentioned a first date from Friday to Sunday would be too long, what about a first date from Thursday afternoon to Sunday morning?

Yes, that is what is in store for next weekend.  Yes, he is not from NY.  Stay tuned.

“But then why, when talking on the phone, did they quarrel, on average at least once every four sentences? Maybe, though the inspector, it was an effect of the distance between them becoming less and less tolerable with each passing day, since as we grow old – for every now and then one must, yes, look reality in the eye and call things by their proper names – we feel more keenly the need to have the person we love beside us.” ― Andrea Camilleri

Advertisement

When it is ok to be evasive

26 Thursday Jan 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 26 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , ,

“May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke

My dating life ebbs and flows.  I go through cycles.  Sometimes I am very interested in dating, in finding a partner.  I go on Match often, I read a lot profiles, I send likes.

Other times, as in now,  I feel I have no time for it. Or, perhaps I should say ,I just don’t have much interest.  I guess it is a combination of those factors.

Work has been occupying a lot of my mental capacity.  The audit that started in August is still not finished, but it should be a matter of days now… fingers crossed.

Still, even with my lack of interest and time, I managed to exchange messages with someone and go on a date last Thursday night.

We met for dinner at Modern Restaurant in New Rochelle.  He is 50 years old and works as part of spiritual care team at a large hospital.  He is very accomplished and intelligent.  He was personable and we had good conversations, mostly about his background and about Rumi.  He is very well versed in on all things Rumi. I love Rumi.

I had a good time, but there was zero chemistry for me.

He paid me a lot compliments.  He said that I am much better in person than in my pictures.   That made me questions my pictures on Match.

“Nothing in this world is harder than speaking the truth, nothing easier than flattery.” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky

He seemed really interested in me, and let me know it at every second.  While I appreciate the honesty and forwardness, it sometimes can smell of desperation and insincerity. Get to know someone more than a couple of hours before you start exalting them.

I don’t think he really knew how over the top he was really being. I did give him some pointers on future dates.  I pointed out that there is such thing as “too much too soon”.   He said I was his first date since he joined Match.  So perhaps that is the problem right there.  Too eager!

At the end of the date, he mentioned again that he was very enamored by me and wanted to see me again.  He said: “I desire you”.  That just made me cringe.

Then he asked if I was interested in him. Talk about putting someone on the spot!!

“I do know that the slickest way to lie is to tell the right amount of truth–then shut up.” ― Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

I didn’t know how to answer.  Don’t get me wrong, I knew the answer.  It was NO.  I was not interested in seeing him again as a potential romantic partner.  I had zero interest in that.

I love the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and will always choose honesty above all else. But on first dates, safety comes first.  I don’t know if the person sitting across from me will turn into a raving lunatic upon rejection. I rather not chance it.

Even though my body and facial expression was screaming NO, out of my mouth came the words: “I am not sure.”

He looked deflated but said he understood.  We walked out of the restaurant, quickly hugged goodbye, and went our separate ways.

“It is not easy to keep silent when silence is a lie.” ― Victor Hugo

The next day I opened Match, and was about to write him and tell him how I really felt.  While I was deciding what to write, he blocked me.

Thank you!   I love when things get resolved on their own.

Everything in life, and in this case, dates, are either a win or a lesson.  This time, again, it was a lesson.  I learned that I need to read profiles more carefully, ask more questions and pay attention to the answers.

While he seemed to be a nice person and I had a nice time, had I spent more time reading his profile and asking the right questions before the date, I would know he was not for me.

On the date, he said he was not interested in a committed relationship.  It turns out he is still married, and there will be no divorce.  It is a long story that he shared with me on the date, and I am choosing not to repeat here to protect the innocent.

I understand his situation.  It has to do with his past, insurance, finances and a personal sense of obligation.  Still, even if there was chemistry, I think it would be too much drama for me to get involved with.

While, at the moment, I am a bit tired and very slow with my dating efforts, I am still out there and still interested.  I enjoy online dating. I enjoy first dates, I enjoy meeting new people; and for me it is still the best place for me to meet people.  And I believe he is out there!  It is okay if you call me delusional lol

Remember: Safety first when online dating!

“It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.” ― Noël Coward, Blithe Spirit

From Famine to Feast

17 Wednesday Aug 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Food, Reviews

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

“Everything in the universe has a rhythm, everything dances. ” ― Maya Angelou

After no dates for a while, I had 2 dates in 2 days.

The guy that I called “The Disingenuous” on the prior post invited me to go see Steely Dan.  I had not blocked him because I sensed that he was harmless and just perhaps a little misguided. I mentioned to him that I didn’t think he was serious about meeting because of what he had done before.

He apologized, and said it was not his intention to appear that he was playing games.  I said ok, and he quickly got the tickets and then asked for restaurant suggestions.  I gave him a couple of names and he booked a place that I like, Sonora Restaurant.

We met near The Capitol in Port Chester, that was where Steely Dan was playing.  From there we went together to the restaurant.  It was a gorgeous evening, so we sat outside.  We shared several small plates instead of ordering an entrée.  It just felt faster that way, as we had the concert to go to. 

We shared different tacos, eggplant meatballs, yucca fries, quinoa cakes, etc. To drink I had the Brazilian Cosmopolitan, made with blood orange vodka.  He had iced tea.  He quit drinking. He said he doesn’t have a problem with alcohol, he just feels he doesn’t need it. Everything was delicious and the conversation flowed. 

“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The theater is beautiful and the concert was great.  Even though I really didn’t grow up listening to Steely Dan, I recognized a few songs.  They didn’t play their most famous one, and the one that I knew the most, Rikki Don’t Lose My Number.   The entire band was amazing. Every single one so talented!!

After the concert, he walked me to my car and we hugged goodbye.  It was the strongest hug I ever received.  The jury is still out if that was a good or bad thing.  I am thinking he was just eager.

We have texted back and forth for a little bit.  I am not sure if we will see each other again.  He is 60 years old, but looks younger. He has been married twice, and has 3 kids, the 2 youngest are 10 years old.  He works as some type of smart home/alarm sales – not sure exactly the details.  Maybe it is worth a second date.  I didn’t really feel much chemistry. I am just not sure.

“The beauty of God is in the wind, in the movement of the ocean, it is in the eyes of a woman gazing at her lover, pouring the deep red wine of love from her eyes like two crystal cups. There is a God who dances and who loves and who longs to sing of love…And I mean that God is music; all inclusive, benevolent and life-affirming, unashamed human emotion.”― Jeff Buckley

On Saturday I went on a date with a 58 years semi-retired engineer.  He has been divorced for 3 years and has 2 grown sons.  We went to an awesome restaurant called Harvest on Hudson.  It was facing the Hudson River.  The location was gorgeous and the food so yummy.  

I had an awesome cocktail, that I don’t recall the name, but it had passion fruit and Aperol in it. He had vodka soda. I had cod fish fritters for appetizer and eggplant for the entrée.  He had meatballs, and then linguine. For dessert I had the tiramisu, and it was probably the best I ever had. 

“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.” ― Mark Twain

He must have said I was beautiful at least 10 times. Not only to me, but to the hostess, to the bartender, to the waiter, to anyone we interacted with.  He also loved my dress and my glasses.

After dinner we walked by the river, then to my car.  We hugged good bye with a quick peck on the lips.  I forgot to mention, when I first met him, it seemed he was going for my lips and I turned so he gave me a peck on the cheek. In my book, when upon meeting someone, peck on the cheek is ok and the norm, on the lips no.  Yes, I am a prude lol

We have texted just a couple of times and last night he called me and invited me to dinner tomorrow (Thursday).  I said yes.  I am not sure there is a lot of chemistry but he seems so nice that I want to go on a second date and see if there is anything there. 

I had 2 great dates with 2 great guys.  When that happens I get reminded of the beauty of the potential and possibilities.  I get the feeling that I am getting closer.  One never knows, and that is why I keep trying.  Feeling blessed and hopeful.

“I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted
most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them.” ― Nora Ephron

 

Another lackluster date update

10 Saturday Jul 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 31 Comments

Tags

, , , ,

“But you cant shut everyone out. I mean you have to have someone to love. . .someone to hold on to. . . someone–” ― Hubert Selby Jr., Requiem for a Dream

I have been canceling a lot dates lately.  I get excited about a person and schedule a date.  Immediately after, I start thinking of all the reasons why it will not work out.  Then I cancel it.  Why spend the energy and waste the perfume?  And of course, I don’t want to waste anybody’s time either.

I am not being pessimistic. I am just being being practical. And perhaps a bit lazy and disillusioned.

Still, I managed to go on a few dates the last couple of weeks.

Date 1:  We went to La Herradura, right in my neighborhood.  It is a Mexican place, and the food is always great there.  My date had mole chicken and a beer.  I often have the same thing there: quesadillas and a passion fruit mojito.  We both enjoyed our choices.

He is a 65 year old retired insurance agent.  We talked a lot about his grown kids and grandkids.  We also talked about his move to Florida at the end of the year. He is very family oriented and very happy about being retired. 

I am all about family also, but there is nothing sexy and romantic about talking about grandchildren and retiring in Florida.  Perhaps because I don’t have kids and grandkids. Perhaps because retiring in Florida was never my dream. 

He seems to have his life already planned and I would have to come in and make myself fit in.  I hate to say it, but in that sense he felt too old for me.  

“If you still think you’re a young pup then you are, no matter what the calendar says” ― John Grogan, Marley and Me: Life and Love With the World’s Worst Dog

Date 2: We went to Red Plum in Mamaroneck, NY.  It was my first time there.    My date had sushi and a beer.  I don’t eat sushi. I had a fried rice and crispy eggplant.  I really enjoyed my drink that was made with passion fruit, cranberry juice, vodka and some other stuff.

He is a 52 year old professional musician with a day job.  He plays some theatre and concert jobs.  He was handsome and pleasant.  We had some things in common, but I don’t think there was enough in common. 

He doesn’t own a TV and spends his evening studying different subjects, specially languages.  I admire that discipline, but it is not me. I want to watch TV, learn languages, exercise, etc.  I want it all, and he is more focused on a couple of things.   I think we would annoy each other in the long run.

I should be meeting 2 guys this week.  If I don’t cancel…

“Can I do it? I’d rather not try and fail.”    “That’s stupid talk, Maya. Every try will not succeed. But if you’re going to live, live at all, your business is trying. And if you fail once, so what? Old folks say, Every shuteye ain’t sleep and every goodbye ain’t gone. You fail, you get up and try again.” ― Maya Angelou, The Heart of a Woman

 

Skiing before it is too late

20 Saturday Mar 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

, , , ,

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
― Frank Herbert, Dune

On Saint Patrick’s Day I took the day off to go skiing.  My sister and I went to a little Mountain called Thunder Ridge, located in Patterson, NY. 

I didn’t want another season to go by without being on skis. I also wanted my sister to try it for the first time. She did and she didn’t care for it.  Too cumbersome, too dangerous.  I get it.  To start skiing at this age of 54 can be scary. 

She got an instructor that was awful.  Hopefully she will try again next season.

I am still terrified by skiing and yet, still so enamored by it. I love being there in the snow.  I like the whole skiing environment.  I am still afraid, but continue to love and embrace the challenge. 

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” ― Joseph Campbell

Will I ever be comfortable skiing? I don’t know.  What I know is that I will never give up trying.

In my mind I know what I need to do.  I know I am capable.  I know the mountains and trails I have skied before.  Why do I get worst and not better?

I know I need more practice, more time on skis; so I am going to continue trying, Next season I am going to try to go often.

I am thinking of getting one of those multiple mountains passes, either the Ikon or the Epic.  Do any of you ever get those?

***

I had a follow up visit with the dentist yesterday.  He said that the pain I was feeling for 8 days was normal because he was really aggressive in trying to clean the area affected after he removed the implant.   All is looking as well as it should.  The plan is to wait another 3 months, take x-rays and then decide what to do:  put in another implant or leave it alone.

I have a date tonight with a new guy.  Stay tuned for the report next time.

Thank you for reading and wishing you all a blessed weekend! ♥♥

“If you are pained by external things, it is not they that disturb you, but your own judgement of them. And it is in your power to wipe out that judgement now.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Momentarily foggy, but not lost

23 Wednesday Dec 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 13 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

“Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone – we find it with another.” ― Thomas Merton

I had a date on Saturday night.  He is 52 yrs old, never married, no kids and works in financial services.  He is very similar to me in a lot areas.  It was like I was meeting an old friend.  We talked and laughed non-stop.  He was the consummate gentleman. 

We will probably go on a second date, but I am not sure about chemistry.  I know we could be great as friends, but I am not sure if there are enough sparks for anything else.  We shall see…

“It really boils down to this: that all life is interrelated. We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tired into a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one destiny, affects all indirectly.” ― Martin Luther King Jr

In the meantime, I have been a little out of sorts the past few days.  I have been unable to complete any tasks.  I started at least 5 different blog posts and was unable to finish any of them.  Fingers crossed I finish this one.

I imagine I am not the only one going through this feeling of imbalance and uncertainty.  Never in a million years I expected this Covid-19 nightmare to last this long.  Now they are talking about this new virus mutation… what next?

Can someone please wake me up from this sci-fi nightmare? When will I be able to fly to Brazil and see my parents?  The fact that I cannot travel at will is really doing a number on me. 

My usual sense of urgency is on asteroids.  I keep thinking that I am wasting time and feeling unproductive.  The worst part is that instead of acting/doing, I feel frozen and without direction.

“Don’t underestimate the power of vision and direction. These are irresistible forces, able to transform what might appear to be unconquerable obstacles into traversable pathways and expanding opportunities. Strengthen the individual. Start with yourself. Take care with yourself. Define who you are. Refine your personality. Choose your destination and articulate your Being. As the great nineteenth-century German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche so brilliantly noted, “He whose life has a why can bear almost any how.”  ― Jordan B. Peterson

I am well aware that I have no reason to complain or to feel anything other than blessed.  So please just ignore this momentarily loss of myself, purpose and meaning.  I guess in writing this I want to say that it is okay not to feel 100% happy 100% of the time. 

The key for me is to remember that unhappy moments come and go.  Nothing lasts forever, good or bad.  I have to learn to cope with those “in-between” moments without overdosing on sugar.

Thanks heavens that I do have healthier coping mechanisms.  My number 1 go to feel better action is to do a mental Gratitude list.  By number 3 on the list I am already feeling better.  There is so much for me to be grateful for.  This is an endless list.

“You can only find out what you actually believe (rather than what you think you believe) by watching how you act. You simply don’t know what you believe, before that. You are too complex to understand yourself.” ― Jordan B. Peterson

The second thing I do that helps to ground and center me is to stop throughout the day and recite the H’onoponopono mantra to myself: I am sorry.  Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.  

Psychology Today describes Ho’oponopono as: The Hawaiian word ho’oponopono comes from ho’o (“to make”) and pono (“right”). The repetition of the word pono means “doubly right” or being right with both self and others. In a nutshell, ho’oponopono is a process by which we can forgive others to whom we are connected.

“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects.” ― Herman Melville

Ho’oponopono is a Hawaiian spiritual practice and literally means to “Set things right’. My simplistic view is that I am responsible for my actions, even if unintentional.  Without realizing, I hurt others. I become disconnected, I let my ego appear and be in charge.  Past mistakes continue to permeate through my life now and cause imbalance and create negative feelings. By asking for forgiveness and expressing gratitude, to no one in particular, but to everyone, I take accountability for my actions and I connect to others. 

“We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.” ― William James

When I say I’M SORRY, I acknowledge my errors, my part in anything wrong that happened to me and to others in the past.

When I say FORGIVE ME, I accept my role in those errors and I ask for forgiveness for my part in all. I recognize that I am responsible for everything I touch.

“Whatever is rejected from the self, appears in the world as an event.”
― Carl Gustav Jung

When I say THANK YOU, I show gratitude to all, to my ancestors, to myself.  I am grateful for everything, big and small. I am grateful to all.

When I say I LOVE YOU, I spread love to the world. I am in love with myself and with everything around me. I am in love with all the Universe presents me.

To you, today: I’m sorry, Forgive-me, Thank You, I love You! ♥♥♥

“Be drunk with Love, for Love is all that Exists”- Rumi

 

 

 

.

 

 

The first date

20 Monday Jan 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , ,

“An open mind and a willing heart are the beginning of many a great adventure. Let’s get started.” Colleen Houck, Tiger’s Dream

M. is 56 years old and works in law enforcement. I like that he took charge and chose the location and time of the first date. He asked if I was okay with his choice or would like something else. I was fine with it.

We went to Chat 19 in Larchmont, NY, a place I have been to several times and enjoy. When I got there at 7pm he was waiting for me in the vestibule. We hugged hello, walked in and sat at the bar.

I had a passion-fruit mojito, he had red wine. We shared an appetizer of spring rolls. The conversation just flowed. We talked and laughed non-stop. We talked about everything.

If I was one of those people that paid attention to things I would be able to describe his clothing and shoes, but I am not, so I can’t. I know how he made me feel: comfortable, safe and wanted.

He mentioned that he never gets nervous but he was a little nervous at that moment – I could tell. He apologized if he was staring too much but he said couldn’t help himself because I was so beautiful.  He complimented my face and skin, and said I don’t look my age. He loved my small hands and said I could be a hand model. Even if he overdid a bit (or lot) I enjoyed receiving his compliments. There is no way that I could ever be a hand model, but it was fun to hear him say that.

The conversation about being a hand model led us to talk about our mutual love of Seinfeld. We both also love the movie Shawshank Redemption. We have similar tastes in a lot of things.

Then he brought up politics and the similarities ended.  I cringed. Lately it seems that is one topic that can make or break potential relationships. Turns out he voted for Trump. I mentioned that I didn’t and will not ever. We talked a little bit about our reasons, but quickly moved on from that subject.

We survived that topic.  I liked that he didn’t try to convince me of anything.  He was respectful and open minded.

Then a musical trio arrived at the restaurant and started playing. It was fun but it was loud so we listened to a few songs and headed out.

We walked towards my car holding hands. It felt natural and comfortable. We got to my car and as I said goodnight we leaned into each and quickly kissed on the lips.

I got in and started the car. I lowered my window, he leaned his head inside the car and kissed me again. After he moved away I pulled him back in and this time it was a longer kiss. I could kiss him the whole night.

We then said good bye and I drove home. Five minutes later he was already texting me to say thank you for the great evening and that he couldn’t wait to see me again. I felt the same way.

It was clear we liked each other. This is exciting and I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

The second date is already tomorrow.  It is Martin Luther King’s day and I am off from work so we are going to have lunch before he goes to work. He works from 3pm to midnight.

Stay tuned…

“I want love, passion, honesty, and companionship… sex that drives me crazy and conversation that drives me sane.”― Steve Maraboli

A Joe, a Jerk and an Unapologetically Aries

10 Saturday Aug 2019

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

≈ 39 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

“We are all hypocrites. We cannot see ourselves or judge ourselves the way we see and judge others.” ― José Emilio Pacheco

Joe. He is one of the Joe’s I wrote about the other day.  I was not sure I like the idea of being asked out just because it was convenient.  I was not excited about him romantically either. For those reasons I didn’t think a second date would happen.

But it did! It happened because it was convenient – oh the hypocrisy of it all! Shame on me!

Here is my reasoning:  I was not excited about him romantically, but I did have a nice time on the date.  I figured a second meeting wouldn’t hurt, especially since all I had to do was to walk across the street to the same restaurant from the first date.

We had a good time, as we had had the first date.  We talked and joked the whole time but there was no romantic vibes.  Third date?  no, but I am open to meeting as friends.

***

“I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.”  – ― Abraham Maslow, 

The jerk and the unapologetic Aries

The jerk is a 57 yr old attorney and the unapologetic Aries is me.   We made plans to meet a couple of times and he flaked.  When I said I didn’t want to meet him anymore he asked for another chance and I said ok.

I met him at a Mexican Restaurant near my home. It started off fine with us making some small talk.  He did some complaining about the ex-wife, which is a huge turn off for me, but I was able to change the subject.

Then he mentioned that Aries people are very difficult. He proceeded to tell me all the ways people born under the sign of Aries are extremely difficult to get along with, specially with a Sagittarius(him).  He said that I showed how difficult I was when I had decided not to meet him because he had canceled last minute twice.  He went on and on.

I agreed with him.  I don’t think he expected that.  I think he expected an argument.  Why would I try to disagree with him?  It wouldn’t change anything.  It would just make me not enjoy my food.  I ordered the skirt steak and I was looking forward to it.

Aries people can indeed be difficult people.  We are impatient and opinionated.  We are impulsive and think we know it all.  We are also great leaders, fiercely independent, passionate lovers and generous to a fault.

Instead of defending Arieses (is this really the plural of Aries, just seems such a funny word), I asked him questions about Astrology.  He seemed to know a lot about it.  I did ask him why did he want to meet me since, according to him, we were not a match?  He said he was open minded.  I laughed.

Certain traits are definitely more distinguished among people of a same sign, that is for sure. I have been able to guess some people’s signs just by the way they conducted themselves.  Every sign has its good and bad traits, but to generalize and make assumptions like he did is troublesome and unfair.

Two of my favorite people are Sagittarius. We have an amazing relationship. So Sagittarius and Aries can get along.

I am so happy to be an Aries!  I think it is the best sign in the zodiac!  🙂

He came in ready to dislike me.  He succeeded in that and more.  I didn’t like him either.  The skirt steak however, was divine!

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” ― Isaac Asimov

 

What is worst than pulling teeth?

07 Sunday Jul 2019

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

≈ 26 Comments

Tags

, , , ,

What is worst than pulling teeth?

A date with an arrogant dentist!  But excuse me; he is not a regular dentist, as he reminded me a bunch of times.  He is a prothodontist.   He makes a lot of money, which he made a point of telling me more than once.

The date was all about him.  Besides talking about how successful he was, he enjoyed talking about being popular with young women.  The last 2 women he dated were less than half his age.  He said he broke things off when they wanted to have sex after only a few dates and he doesn’t want that.  He wants a commitment.  If he wants a commitment why is he going out with women that are younger than his youngest son?  I didn’t bother asking that.

He also wanted to talk a lot about online dating itself, the website and his experience there, all negative.  He didn’t make a single positive comment about it.  While I agree online dating could be much better I think it is silly to waste time on a first date complaining about it.  After all, online dating is the place that brought us together.  He focused too much on all the is negative.  I don’t like complainers.

When I was able to get a word in he made sure to disagree with me.  It seems he just disagreed for the sake of disagreeing.  A lot doesn’t bother me so I made the best of it and stayed for the whole dinner, but needless to say there will be no second date.

Speaking of second dates.  I did have a second date with B.  I haven’t mentioned him here yet, so the next post will be all about him.  Stay tuned.

“Self-centered people often get angry when someone tells them no.  Stan said yes out of fear that he would lose love and that other people would get angry at him. These false motives and others keep us from setting boundaries:” ― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

This, That and Other

15 Friday Jun 2018

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Food

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , ,

OVEREATING
On Wednesday night, my sister, a couple of friends and I went to Fuji Mountain, a hibachi restaurant in Larchmont, NY. We were there celebrating one of my friends birthday. It was a lot fun and the food was great. The best part is that she was so happy with being taken out for her birthday. I love making people happy.

Unfortunately I ate all of the dinner that was put in front of me plus dessert. At the moment I didn’t think; I just ate. Later I hated myself for overeating. It is becoming a pattern. I have to change that immediately.

“There is no love sincerer than the love of food.” – George Bernard Shaw, Man and the Superman

WORLD CUP
World Cup is here and I am so excited! I don’t care what teams are playing I will be watching. I have 2 screens at work. One is always showing a game and on the other one is work.

I love the passion and energy of the games. Of course I am hoping Brazil wins. We are the favorite but memories of the fiasco of the last time is not far from memory. I am not one to dismiss any opponent. Everyone is a threat. Everyone is deserving.

Unfortunately I will miss Brazil’s first game on Sunday as I will be helping a friend with her dance recital. She needs the help of volunteers to get the show done so I will not cancel on her. Hopefully there will be many more to watch. I will record it but it will be impossible not to know the result before I get home to watch it.

Let the best teams win. The ones with more heart, more passion, more hunger.

“I am not a perfectionist, but I like to feel that things are done well. More important than that, I feel an endless need to learn, to improve, to evolve, not only to please the coach and the fans, but also to feel satisfied with myself. It is my conviction that here are no limits to learning, and that it can never stop, no matter what our age.” – Cristiano Ronaldo

DATING
Things are fairly quiet as I haven’t spent much time on the dating sites. There is one guy, M, that I will be having dinner on Saturday night. He works in Management of some big University. I am not sure where we will be meeting yet.

I was somewhat excited about him until I got a message from G. His messages are just amazing. A combination of smarts, funny and sexy. He seems honest, serious, down to earth, etc. Yes I am getting all of that from a few emails 🙂

He asked me out Saturday during the day to go to this huge flea market 40 minutes away from me. I said no. I probably would have gone just for a change, even though I normally never travel for a first date. I am willing to change my mind on that and be flexible on a case to case basis.

I had already said yes to M. and I don’t like canceling on people just because I got another invitation.

The excitement normally turns to fear.  What if we like each other? Even before meeting G. I am already looking for reasons why this cannot work. We live too far, he likes camping, I like comfortable hotels, I love sports, he could take or leave it, etc.

I am reminding myself to breath, be in the moment and just go with the flow.

“And there’s also ‘To him that hath shall be given.’ After all, you must have a capacity to receive, or even omnipotence can’t give. Perhaps your own passion temporarily destroys the capacity.” – C.S. Lewis