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Tag Archives: first dates

What is worst than pulling teeth?

07 Sunday Jul 2019

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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What is worst than pulling teeth?

A date with an arrogant dentist!  But excuse me; he is not a regular dentist, as he reminded me a bunch of times.  He is a prothodontist.   He makes a lot of money, which he made a point of telling me more than once.

The date was all about him.  Besides talking about how successful he was, he enjoyed talking about being popular with young women.  The last 2 women he dated were less than half his age.  He said he broke things off when they wanted to have sex after only a few dates and he doesn’t want that.  He wants a commitment.  If he wants a commitment why is he going out with women that are younger than his youngest son?  I didn’t bother asking that.

He also wanted to talk a lot about online dating itself, the website and his experience there, all negative.  He didn’t make a single positive comment about it.  While I agree online dating could be much better I think it is silly to waste time on a first date complaining about it.  After all, online dating is the place that brought us together.  He focused too much on all the is negative.  I don’t like complainers.

When I was able to get a word in he made sure to disagree with me.  It seems he just disagreed for the sake of disagreeing.  A lot doesn’t bother me so I made the best of it and stayed for the whole dinner, but needless to say there will be no second date.

Speaking of second dates.  I did have a second date with B.  I haven’t mentioned him here yet, so the next post will be all about him.  Stay tuned.

“Self-centered people often get angry when someone tells them no.  Stan said yes out of fear that he would lose love and that other people would get angry at him. These false motives and others keep us from setting boundaries:” ― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

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This, That and Other

15 Friday Jun 2018

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Food

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OVEREATING
On Wednesday night, my sister, a couple of friends and I went to Fuji Mountain, a hibachi restaurant in Larchmont, NY. We were there celebrating one of my friends birthday. It was a lot fun and the food was great. The best part is that she was so happy with being taken out for her birthday. I love making people happy.

Unfortunately I ate all of the dinner that was put in front of me plus dessert. At the moment I didn’t think; I just ate. Later I hated myself for overeating. It is becoming a pattern. I have to change that immediately.

“There is no love sincerer than the love of food.” – George Bernard Shaw, Man and the Superman

WORLD CUP
World Cup is here and I am so excited! I don’t care what teams are playing I will be watching. I have 2 screens at work. One is always showing a game and on the other one is work.

I love the passion and energy of the games. Of course I am hoping Brazil wins. We are the favorite but memories of the fiasco of the last time is not far from memory. I am not one to dismiss any opponent. Everyone is a threat. Everyone is deserving.

Unfortunately I will miss Brazil’s first game on Sunday as I will be helping a friend with her dance recital. She needs the help of volunteers to get the show done so I will not cancel on her. Hopefully there will be many more to watch. I will record it but it will be impossible not to know the result before I get home to watch it.

Let the best teams win. The ones with more heart, more passion, more hunger.

“I am not a perfectionist, but I like to feel that things are done well. More important than that, I feel an endless need to learn, to improve, to evolve, not only to please the coach and the fans, but also to feel satisfied with myself. It is my conviction that here are no limits to learning, and that it can never stop, no matter what our age.” – Cristiano Ronaldo

DATING
Things are fairly quiet as I haven’t spent much time on the dating sites. There is one guy, M, that I will be having dinner on Saturday night. He works in Management of some big University. I am not sure where we will be meeting yet.

I was somewhat excited about him until I got a message from G. His messages are just amazing. A combination of smarts, funny and sexy. He seems honest, serious, down to earth, etc. Yes I am getting all of that from a few emails 🙂

He asked me out Saturday during the day to go to this huge flea market 40 minutes away from me. I said no. I probably would have gone just for a change, even though I normally never travel for a first date. I am willing to change my mind on that and be flexible on a case to case basis.

I had already said yes to M. and I don’t like canceling on people just because I got another invitation.

The excitement normally turns to fear.  What if we like each other? Even before meeting G. I am already looking for reasons why this cannot work. We live too far, he likes camping, I like comfortable hotels, I love sports, he could take or leave it, etc.

I am reminding myself to breath, be in the moment and just go with the flow.

“And there’s also ‘To him that hath shall be given.’ After all, you must have a capacity to receive, or even omnipotence can’t give. Perhaps your own passion temporarily destroys the capacity.” – C.S. Lewis

In the moment and on a date

14 Tuesday Nov 2017

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Food

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“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” – Thich Nhat Hahn

I have been taking 5 minutes in the morning when I wake up and 5 minutes before going to bed to meditate or to just be silent and try to turn off my mind.  For now I can’t silence it for the whole 5 minutes so when thoughts persist I just turn to affirmations that I made up such as: I deserve peace.  I deserve love.  I listen to the Universe and the Universe listens to me, etc.

It may seem silly but I credit those little 10 minutes a day with making a world of difference in my attitude and outlook.  Trying to be in the moment and in tune to my body, mind and breath has been incredible for me.  I hope to eventually be able to really let go of thoughts and also to devote more than 5 minutes.

***

“No woman really wants a man to carry her off; she only wants him to want to do it.”  – Elizabeth Peters

This dating life remains an adventure.  On Sunday I was asked out by a guy I met on POF.  He was nice and even though he lived a little further than I would want I thought there was potential so I accepted.

This is exactly what he said:  “I was wondering what you were doing late Sunday afternoon was thinking we could meet for appetizers and cocktails”.

He chose a restaurant near my apartment.  We met at 5pm and set at the bar.  He ordered a beer and I ordered a cosmopolitan.  They served us some bread, which was delicious.  He asked me what I would like to eat and I said: anything but shellfish.  He chose an antipasto platter and a whole pizza pie.

While eating, and I need to point out that I had only a couple of bites of cheese and eggplant from the antipasto platter and only 1 slice of pizza. And of course the free bread.  He had the rest of the antipasto and 3 or 4 slices of pizza and took the rest home.

We talked about various things, with him focusing a little too much on how bitter he was at his ex-wife over splitting up the finances. He said if he gets married again he will get a prenuptial agreement.  I am not sure at which point but he eventually said:  “I like to “go dutch” on first dates, so there is no pressure on anyone. So the girl doesn’t feel she owes me anything”.

What?  did he expect me to pay for half?  I never felt I owe a guy anything because he paid for dinner.  While I have no problem paying for my share, cheap men is a real turn off for me.  Also he should have mentioned that before meeting.  He is the one that chose the place and the meal. I was okay with meeting at a coffee shop or at the library or any public place.  I don’t need anyone to buy me dinner or appetizers as I a requirement to meet.

When the bill came I just ignored it.  There is no way I was going to offer to pay half.  Still I thought we managed to have a good time, that is until we said good bye. I went in for a hug good bye and he kissed me on the lips.  I pulled away startled as I hadn’t thought there was any sparks for either one of us.  He tried again and said:  I have to see how you kiss.  I couldn’t get away fast enough.  Classless!

There will not be a second date!

“Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.” – OscarWilde