Tag Archives: World Cup

Being ok with disappointment

13 Tuesday Dec 2022

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“Disappointment is just the action of your brain readjusting itself to reality after discovering things are not the way you thought they were.” – Brad Warner

I am still sad and disappointed over Brazil’s loss at the World Cup! It is stupid, it is just a game, but why does it hurt so much?

To us Brazilians it feels bigger than a just a game.  It is our identity.  I grew up thinking Brazil was the best soccer team in the world.  We had something of our own to be proud of.

But, Friday, we didn’t play the jogo bonito (beautiful game).  The players looked tired. It was definitely not a good day for us.  Actually, we haven’t played well in many, many years. We have been living in the past.

I sound like a hardcore soccer fan.  I am not.  But when it is the World Cup, I love everything about it.  Specially thinking that Brazil may triumph.

What to do when you are disappointed about something that you have no control of?  Not much.  I did what I often do with feelings that are hard to deal with. I confront them. I acknowledge them. I sit with them in discomfort.

I acknowledged that I was disappointed.  I accepted the loss and accepted that it hurt.  Brazil lost fair and square, no one to blame.  There was no anger, just sadness.

The best team that day won.  And unfortunately the best team was not Brazil.  Kudos to Croatia!

Now what?  Now we wait another 4 years to try again.  It is life, and we move on. Now we have 4 years to think about what went wrong, make better choices and try again.

The World Cup 2022 has lost some of its flavor for me, but I will still tune in and root for the underdogs. Go Morocco! May they make history and go all the way!

“When we refuse to work with our disappointment, we break the Precepts: rather than experience the disappointment, we resort to anger, greed, gossip, criticism. Yet it’s the moment of being that disappointment which is fruitful; and, if we are not willing to do that, at least we should notice that we are not willing. The moment of disappointment in life is an incomparable gift that we receive many times a day if we’re alert. This gift is always present in anyone’s life, that moment when ‘It’s not the way I want it!” ― Charlotte Joko Beck

 

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Post about this and that

09 Friday Dec 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Food

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I want to post more, I do.  I start writing a post, then I get busy or distracted; by the time I get back to it, it feels like old news and I start a new one.  I need to break this pattern.  I am going to try.  Until then, these are some of the topics/posts unfinished.

“How can a nation be called great if its bread tastes like kleenex?” ― Julia Child

Friends and baked goods.  This past weekend we met friends in Edison, NJ.  That is the half way point between my home in NY and theirs in PA.  The wife is a baker that likes to try new recipes.  She is so gracious and will gives us breads and other goodies on our birthday and for Christmas.  This time she gave my sister a box full of savory goods, and me one with sweets.  As that is our preference.

She makes a bunch of different items throughout the months and always saves us a sample.  My only complaint, if I can’t be that ungrateful, is that I was eager to have the scones, but she decided to flavor them this time with ginger. It was too strong for me.  But there were plenty of other goodies for me to try, such as the mini chocolate chip muffins below.

I feel beyond grateful to have kind, thoughtful friends, that like to bake!!!

mini chocolate chip muffins for breakfast just because

“We are made for loving. If we don’t love, we will be like plants without water.” ― Desmond Tutu

The Christmas cactuses are blooming.  The plants in my office continue to thrive. The picture below is from the beginning of the week.  Today they look even better and by next week all the buds will probably be in bloom.  I will take another picture them.

Christmas cactus starting to bloom

My Brazil jersey is a guy magnet.  Well, if the guy is a soccer loving one.  Since the World Cup is in the winter, I cannot show off my Brazilian jersey outdoors.  The 3 guys that saw me in the hall at work immediately smiled and approached me to talk about the World Cup.

Two of the guys I had crossed paths with before and there was never a hello.  All of a sudden they are my best friends.  That is the beauty of the World Cup.  It unites people in fun.

World Cup is on – Go Brazil!!

“The first World Cup I remember was in the 1950 when I was 9 or 10 years old. My father was a soccer player, and there was a big party, and when Brazil lost to Uruguay, I saw my father crying.” -Pele

Ultimatums are useless with me. I received an ultimatum from a person listed in my phone as “Waste of time”. He said it in the voice mail: “This is the last time I am calling you and leaving you a voice mail”.  I thought to myself: thank you!!

This is a person that I had one date with several years ago.  A couple of times a year he will call, waste my time on the phone complaining of how busy with work he is.  Then he will say that we need to get together and he will reach out when he has more time to meet.

Every time he called or texted I was polite and answered, but by now I had enough and blocked him.  So I don’t even see when it rings, I only get the voice mail. And now it seems I am free from that also.

I wish him well, but I am happy to never hear from him again.

“Relationships are negotiated and if you deal with ultimatums and authority all the time, then you’re not going to get anywhere.” – Phil McGraw

This, That and Other

15 Friday Jun 2018

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Food

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OVEREATING
On Wednesday night, my sister, a couple of friends and I went to Fuji Mountain, a hibachi restaurant in Larchmont, NY. We were there celebrating one of my friends birthday. It was a lot fun and the food was great. The best part is that she was so happy with being taken out for her birthday. I love making people happy.

Unfortunately I ate all of the dinner that was put in front of me plus dessert. At the moment I didn’t think; I just ate. Later I hated myself for overeating. It is becoming a pattern. I have to change that immediately.

“There is no love sincerer than the love of food.” – George Bernard Shaw, Man and the Superman

WORLD CUP
World Cup is here and I am so excited! I don’t care what teams are playing I will be watching. I have 2 screens at work. One is always showing a game and on the other one is work.

I love the passion and energy of the games. Of course I am hoping Brazil wins. We are the favorite but memories of the fiasco of the last time is not far from memory. I am not one to dismiss any opponent. Everyone is a threat. Everyone is deserving.

Unfortunately I will miss Brazil’s first game on Sunday as I will be helping a friend with her dance recital. She needs the help of volunteers to get the show done so I will not cancel on her. Hopefully there will be many more to watch. I will record it but it will be impossible not to know the result before I get home to watch it.

Let the best teams win. The ones with more heart, more passion, more hunger.

“I am not a perfectionist, but I like to feel that things are done well. More important than that, I feel an endless need to learn, to improve, to evolve, not only to please the coach and the fans, but also to feel satisfied with myself. It is my conviction that here are no limits to learning, and that it can never stop, no matter what our age.” – Cristiano Ronaldo

DATING
Things are fairly quiet as I haven’t spent much time on the dating sites. There is one guy, M, that I will be having dinner on Saturday night. He works in Management of some big University. I am not sure where we will be meeting yet.

I was somewhat excited about him until I got a message from G. His messages are just amazing. A combination of smarts, funny and sexy. He seems honest, serious, down to earth, etc. Yes I am getting all of that from a few emails 🙂

He asked me out Saturday during the day to go to this huge flea market 40 minutes away from me. I said no. I probably would have gone just for a change, even though I normally never travel for a first date. I am willing to change my mind on that and be flexible on a case to case basis.

I had already said yes to M. and I don’t like canceling on people just because I got another invitation.

The excitement normally turns to fear.  What if we like each other? Even before meeting G. I am already looking for reasons why this cannot work. We live too far, he likes camping, I like comfortable hotels, I love sports, he could take or leave it, etc.

I am reminding myself to breath, be in the moment and just go with the flow.

“And there’s also ‘To him that hath shall be given.’ After all, you must have a capacity to receive, or even omnipotence can’t give. Perhaps your own passion temporarily destroys the capacity.” – C.S. Lewis

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My heart is Green and Yellow, and also Red, White and Blue!

03 Friday Oct 2014

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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“It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love or how you love, it matters only that you love”― John Lennon

 

This is what everyone sees as they enter my office:

Brazilian flag

My beautiful Brazilian flag!  I put it up during the World Cup in June and never took it down.  I think I will just leave it there until the next World Cup in 2018.

This morning, for some reason, a thought came to mind:  What does that flag really mean? It means I love my birth country and I am proud to be a Brazilian – that simple!

But what about the very country I am in right now?  What about the good old USA?

Having my Brazilian flag in a way makes me feel close to my Brazilian roots, but in no way means that I love the US any less.

I happen to love both countries equally and would hate if I had to choose one.  It would be like asking a mother which one of her children she wants to keep.  I could never choose. Thanks heaven I don’t have to.

I am blessed to be a citizen of two countries.  For now I choose to live in the US – a country that welcomed me with open arms and has given me opportunities I would never have in Brazil.  I don’t feel I am half Brazilian half American, I feel I am full Brazilian and full American!

It doesn’t seem right to be displaying only the Brazilian flag.  I think it is sending the wrong message (no one here in my office has ever said anything about my keeping the flag up, so this unfairness is all in my mind and heart).  Right at this moment I am online shopping for an American flag.  I will be hanging it up there with my Brazilian one.   It think it will be perfect!

I see many issues with both countries.  There is a lot that needs changing here and there.  But I see both of my countries like the people that I love: I don’t always condone their actions and I don’t look only to their flaws.  I choose to love and be grateful for all the beauty and goodness in them. No matter what, I will continue to do my best to improve my surroundings in whenever country I happen to be in.

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

 

Crying green and yellow tears…

08 Tuesday Jul 2014

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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“When defeat comes, accept it as a signal that your plans are not sound, rebuild those plans, and set sail once more toward your coveted goal.” 
― Napoleon Hill

There are really no words in the dictionary to describe how painful this loss is to me and my country.  Something about futebol being like a religion to us.  My green and yellow heart cries in despair and confusion. How did this happen?

I sat totally motionless and emotionless staring at the TV while Brazil  totally fell apart right before my eyes.  It was hard for a moment to know how to feel.  How could this happen to us, the land of futebol?  We were playing at home and we wanted to re-write the past.  In 1950 the World Cup was played in Brazil and we lost the final to Uruguay.  This is not the happy ending we were dreaming of.  I vote for no more World Cups in Brazil 🙂

Truth is we didn’t have a winning team from the beginning.  I knew it was going to be hard against Germany,  but I hoped the passion and soul of the Brazilian people would carry the team through.  Passion alone didn’t help!

So we lost, but not really a simple loss, this was record breaking embarrassing loss!

Well, we now have another four years to lick our wounds and come back with a better plan and a better team.   There are lessons here for everyone from the players to the fans.  I still don’t know what they are, but pain always brings growth.

I don’t want, by any means, to take any credit away from Germany.  They played a great game and made Brazil look like a bunch of amateurs.  I take my hat off to them.  The German fans should be proud! (thinking of you Ute and Steffi, to name a couple German friends among readers and fellow bloggers)

To Brazil I give you my tears and the hope that the country will unite in sorrow and come out stronger and better for it! It was not just a game!

“But man is not made for defeat,” he said. “A man can be destroyed but not defeated. ” ― Ernest Hemingway

ps. thanks Heaven for humor!  My sister just relayed to me all the jokes that are being told in Brazil about this incredible embarrassment – now I am crying because I am laughing so hard.  There is hope when we can see the humor in it and move on.  I guess if we must lose just make it memorable. And we sure did!!  We broke a bunch of records.  And at least the loss was not to Argentina! 🙂

Love it or hate it: the World Cup is here!!

21 Saturday Jun 2014

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I am in a World Cup mood!  I love love love World Cup!

There was a lot of controversy surrounding the preparations for the World Cup in Brazil. There was too much money spent with not much to show for, unfinished stadiums, airports not ready to deal with the amount of travelers, violent protests, etc, etc. There were even moments when some people doubted it it would actually happen, and if it should happen.  One way or another the World Cup is here, so we may as well enjoy it and make the best of it.

It is a known fact in Brazil that some people think that football and carnival is a way that corrupt politicians distract the Brazilian people from all the problems.  I think that perhaps there is a grain of truth in that, but I am choosing at this time not to discuss how passive we Brazilians tend to be and how easily distracted we are with music and sports.  Right now I am just going to discuss my enjoyment of the World Cup.

When I first heard that Brazil would host the World Cup I was so excited  and ready to attend, but when the time came I decided to watch it from the safety and comfort of my living room. My fear was not as much for violence, but more for the chaos and confusion.  I now question if I have made the right decision after all who knows when there will be another World Cup in Brazil.

I am enjoying all the games, but I have to mention the Opening Ceremony. It was a major disappointment.  This is Brazil, so much was expected, so little was delivered.  We put a major Carnival production every year that is truly majestic.  For the World Cup we had 4 years to prepare and all we came up with was something that looked like it was a high school production. It was embarrassing to watch!!  I couldn’t believe my eyes and kept hoping it would get better – it didn’t!  Why? Why? Why?

Well it turns out the answer is actually just simple four letters: FIFA!!!! FIFA was in charge, FIFA is always in charge when it comes to the World Cup.  FIFA hired 2 foreigners to organize it.  Why would they get someone from outside when we have so many capable and talented people in-house? Who better to produce and stage the ceremony than the host itself?  It was supposed to be our party, but it turns out we are just the host, we are just lending our land to FIFA. It was such a wasted chance to highlight to the world the beauty of Brazil beyond Rio and the Amazon, beyond beaches and dancing girls.

Ceremony is over, so now on to the games.  Brazil started off the tournament with the game against Croatia.  It was lackluster and controversial due to a penalty kick that was called that amounted only to poor acting. We didn’t play well but we won, and I am sad to say that in this case I will take an ugly win over a pretty loss. Our second game (against Mexico) was a nail biter.  It was probably the most exciting scoreless game I ever watched, but Brazil showed it needs to improve or we will not go far. And credit to Croatia and Mexico they played very well.  Mexico’s goalkeeper was just phenomenal!  It seems all the teams have forgotten who is the sheriff in this town! Lol  Would it kill them to just let us run away with the Cup?  All kidding aside, it is good to see some so-called underdogs thriving.  Speaking of underdogs, the US was brilliant in their first game and I am looking forward to US vs Portugal on Sunday. Soccer is one of the few areas where the US is considered an underdog, I think it is good – it builds character! 🙂

We play Cameroon next and we should win easily, BUT, if there is one thing that this Cup is showing us is that there is no sure bet.  I will be glued to my TV with my heart beating out of my chest until the referee whistles the end of the game.

“Soccer isn’t the same as Bach or Buddhism. But it is often more deeply felt than religion, and just as much a part of the community’s fabric, a repository of traditions.” ― Franklin Foer, How Soccer Explains the World: An Unlikely Theory of Globalization

It is hard for Americans to understand this passion for soccer.  They call the game boring.  I understand them, they were not born into it.  I am not going to try to justify it or explain it. I am just going to describe it what it is for me.

To me the World Cup is not just a sporting event.  It is tradition, it is culture, it is patriotism, it is love, it is passion, and it is pride.   For the longest time in Brazil we were in such dire economical disaster that it seemed that the only things we could be proud of was soccer and carnival.  Here is something that we are good at, here is something to be proud and happy with. (happy to report there is much more to be proud of)

“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time and your government when it deserves it.”  ― Mark Twain

Soccer is a sport universally loved.  At World Cup time people don’t root only for their team, but for their country.  No matter your social status, religion, gender, color, political affiliation, anything, at this one time we are all together hoping for the same outcome.  For a month it seems we forget the differences (for the most part, unfortunately as we have seen in Kenya, some use the opportunity to level attacks).

This time brings me closer to my roots, to my country. I am also American and I will be watching and rooting for the US, but I cannot lie, my heart belongs to Brazil.  I am Brazil and the World Cup and Brazil and the World Cup are me.  I grew up with it, it is in my veins.  I rarely watched soccer, but World Cup is different, it is a whole other level.  I look forward to it and I watch every game I can.  At work I have 2 computer screens, at this time one is for work and the other is for the Cup. If Brazil is playing, then I go home to watch it.

I am looking forward to the rest of the tournament no matter how Brazil fares. (is it bad to say that I want anyone to win except Argentina and Italy? 🙂 Argentina-it is a Pele vs Maradona thing, Italy- I don’t want anyone to equal our number of wins! )

I am looking forward to the fans and their crazy costumes.  I am looking forward to great goals and even greater saves. I am looking forward to the National Anthems. I am looking forward to it all. I am in a World Cup mood and I love it!

I hope that at the end the fans that traveled to Brazil will take back with them amazing memories of a country, that, even though it needs a lot fixing, is still full of amazing welcoming people.  I hope they remember the people, the beauty, the experience.

Go Brasil! Make me proud!

Clash of the Titans

10 Sunday Jun 2012

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I was one of the 81,994 fans that attended the Clash of the Titans match at Metlife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ yesterday. That was a record attendance for a soccer match at that stadium!

The game was between my beloved Brazil and our archenemy Argentina.

Brazilians are one of the most friendliest people in the world.  We love all and are loved by all.  But when it comes to our neighbor Argentina things can get a little dicey.

Both countries think they are the best country in South America. Both think they have the best natural resources, most beautiful women, and of course best soccer players.

There is the never ending debate in the soccer world as to who was really the best player: Pele (Brazil) or Maradona (Argentina).

I, and thousands more, was really looking forward to yesterday’s match. And it was all that it was promised and more.  They both had their best players from their national teams (as it was agreed per their contracts).  Brazil brought their  Olympic team, which is a younger team, but equally talented.

I was there with a group of 22 co-workers and clients raging from soccer fans to soccer players to “don’t even know what soccer is”, and the general consensus at the end of the game was that it was an amazing game.

Unfortunately Brazil lost! The score was Argentina 4 goals, Brazil 3.  Of course I wanted Brazil to win, still I have to concede that their best player, Lionel Messi, had an amazing performance.  He scored 3 out of Argentina’s 4 goals.

Everyone, players and fans were well behaved, for the most part.  There was a little scuffle at the last 2 minutes of the game between a couple of players but it was minor and it didn’t really make the game any less great. As far as the fans I didn’t witness any misbehavior, only the usual taunting and loudness.  Mostly all had fun with their loud music, singing and dancing.

I was just a bit confused by the halftime entertainment.  It was not really necessary to have any.  I don’t think any fan would have complained or even mentioned the lack of anything during halftime.

First they brought 3 Argentinian couples dressed in black fancy attires to dance the Argentinian tango … on the grass.  It just looked weird and so out of place, I felt for the dancers.  They should have, at least, put in some type of floor covering.  Then perhaps would have made more sense.  Can you imagine dancing wearing high heels on the grass? the tango nonetheless!

After that they brought Brazilian drummers and male dancers performing soccer skills and some capoeira (a type of martial art and dance).  It was more fitting than tango for a soccer match, but still it was a bit lackluster.

All in all it was a great day with tailgating pre and post game. I cannot believe that even after 2 hours after the game had ended the parking lot where we were was still half full!

It was only a friendly, exhibition match, it didn’t really count for anything.  At the end of the day, we still have 5 stars on our jersey for each of our World Cup wins, while Argentina has only 3!  (sore loser? yep, a little bit!!)