Tag Archives: love

A different kind of pretty

01 Thursday Sep 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me, Mosaic and other crafts

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I just finished this piece.  I love it, but most people don’t like it.  The only person that liked it is my sister. 

It is interesting that people normally try to be kind and say they like something when they really don’t.  I get it, I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings either.

But with this one piece, there is no hiding their feelings.  Everyone at the studio said, straight to my face, they didn’t like it.  One said it is the ugliest baby she has ever seen (true lol) and the other said I made Sonny Bono (kinda of lol).

I love that!  I feel honored to have people’s honest opinion.  They know me, they know I can take it.  I rather have honest opinions and not sweet lies. I like that we can all joke about it.  What I love most is the realization that I don’t feel the need to make only “pretty” things. 

I love when people look at something I made and have a reaction, good or bad.  

This piece to me represents a lot different things: family, diversity, beauty, love, among others.  With this piece I feel I am beginning to find my creative/artistic voice… and it is not pretty! 😉

“There is no exquisite beauty… without some strangeness in the proportion.” ― Edgar Allan Poe

“It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.”
― Leo Tolstoy, The Kreutzer Sonata

“Sometimes people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are.”
― Markus Zusak, I Am the Messenger

“To see something different gives you a chance to be something different!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan

“No one escapes some degree of chaos for it is so ever prevalent; it is the human experience. This realization does not mean we can’t improve. It does mean we can accept our state of chaos, lighten up on ourselves, have fun, and work on improving…we are a work in progress. Enjoy the journey.” ― David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough

We are loved, we are love, so let’s act like it!

01 Saturday Aug 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“The rain to the wind said,
You push and I’ll pelt.’
They so smote the garden bed
That the flowers actually knelt,
And lay lodged–though not dead.
I know how the flowers felt.”
― Robert Frost

I saw these 4 lines below somewhere (I wish I remembered where so I could credit them). For some reason it stayed with me. I liked the simplicity of it.

Que o vento leve,                                                                                                Que a chuva lave,                                                                                              Que a alma brilhe e                                                                                            Que o coraçao acalme.

My attempt at translating it:

May the wind take,                                                                                             May the rain wash,                                                                                             May the soul shine and                                                                                      May the heart be calm.

“The breath of life is in the sunlight and the hand of life is in the wind.”― Kahlil Gibran

Those 4 lines re-energizes me.  It gives me the idea of rebirth and the idea that we can always turn things around with just a change in attitude.  Fortunately,  often, all it takes is to stop, take a breath and make the decision to see things with new eyes.

All of a sudden, a problem is not a problem, is an opportunity.

“Not knowing when the dawn will come
I open every door.”
― Emily Dickinson

Let each gust of wind take away all that is bad and no longer useful. Let the wind bring you good energy and all that is useful for your improvement.  Invite the winds of change in.   Embrace it.

Let the rain wash away your troubles and worries.  Be unburdened and light as a feather.

“Inside us there is something that has no name, that something is what we are.” ― José Saramago

Let your inner self shine through, and illuminate all those around you.  It is not only about you.  It is about everyone and everything you touch.  Let all interactions be positive and fruitful.  Be better and make others better.

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”
― Rumi

Let you heart be at peace.  Don’t burden it unnecessarily.  Give it space, listen to it and nurture it.  It will nurture you back!

I hope everyone has a blessed weekend!

 

You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up)

Josh Groban
Don’t give up
It’s just the weight of the world
When your heart’s heavy
I, I will lift it for you
Don’t give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I, I will break it for you
Everybody wants to be understood
Well, I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don’t give up
Because you are loved
Don’t give up
It’s just the hurt that you hide
When you’re lost inside
I, I’ll be there to find you
Don’t give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I, I will shine to guide you
Everybody…

Impatient, grateful, loving and contemplating honesty!

11 Thursday Jun 2015

Posted by in Daily Life, EX Files

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“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” – ― Aristotle

1:00 pm. Right now I am defrosting my freezer with a hairdryer so that the official GE repairman can return to fix it.   What I really feel like doing is taking an ax to it and chopping it to pieces.

This day has been an exercise in patience… I keep failing all the patience tests that the Universe sends my way.  At this rate I will have to repeat this very same Life-cycle all over again.

I had taken the morning off from work to deal with the fridge, but it turned into a whole day affair.  I know stuff like this happens to teach me patience and the ability to deal with things that are out of my control.  Two other words come to mind:  Perspective and Gratitude.

I didn’t always have a fridge. I remember when my family finally had enough money to buy a fridge.  I was probably about 10 years old.  It was like it was Christmas and we had won the lottery.  Having ice cubes floating in a glass was magical.  It is good to remember that.  It is good to think not of the broken fridge but to remember that I am blessed enough to have a fridge to break in the first place.  Living in the US with all the comforts of the First World it is easy to take it all for granted.  Reminders are blessings!

“A grateful mindset can set you free from the prison of disempowerment and the shackles of misery.” ― Steve Maraboli

Problems need to be put into perspective and in their right place.  This is just a fridge and it is only money.  Okay, it is annoying and frustrating but it is not the end of the world.  Deal with it and move on.

6:00 pm.  Fridge Fixed.  The GE repairman charged $368.00 and changed 3 parts, including the one supposedly already changed.  The original repairman charged me $375.00.  He hasn’t returned my calls and hasn’t stopped by to return my money as he said he would (when the fridge broke again I called him and he said he wanted to come to repair it, I said I wanted my money back instead.  He said no problem, but never followed through on that)

At this point I will probably see him again in Small Claims court.  It is now a matter of principal.

“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners” ― Laurence Sterne

***

On another front, I am taking tomorrow off and embarking on a long weekend with Ex’s mother.

For her birthday she wanted to see Bette Midler.  The Divine Miss M. is playing at Mohegan Sun Casino.  Since I have free rooms at Foxwoods Casino (just 15 minutes away from Mohegan Sun) I decided to make a whole weekend out of it.

When I tell people I am still in touch with his mother they frown.  People don’t understand why I didn’t leave the entire past behind.  Here is my thinking: Not having a relationship with him anymore didn’t make me stop caring for her.  I am able to separate things and at this point she realizes there is no turning back so she has quit making allusions to it.

I made a conscious decision long ago not to blame the mother for the sins of the son.  I choose to love freely and not link one person to the other.

“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” ― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

****

Preview – my next post will be a hard one, and perhaps my posting this little blurb about it will force me to actually write it. It will be hard because I will have to admit  to you certain things that I don’t want to admit to myself.  But, once again, what is the point of this blog if not for me to be totally me, honest and raw.  Totally childish, totally needy, totally grateful, totally sinful, totally blissful and totally wrong some times.  At the end of the day I want to own my life.  I want to take ownership of my mistakes, I want to learn from them, but above all I want to be able to make them if that is what I want to do at the moment. You reader are my friend and as such you deserve honesty.  Then you shall have it.

I am not sure if I am looking for acceptance or if I want you to take me by my shoulders and shake me up and make me come back to my senses.

I think I am looking to confront myself and make you the audience.

“It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.” ― Noël Coward, Blithe Spirit

 

The sweet taste of indifference!

27 Friday Mar 2015

Posted by in Daily Life, EX Files, Finding Me

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“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” ― Steve Maraboli

Remember Ex? You don’t?  Good! I barely do! Lol  He texted me a week or so ago.  The reality show Amazing Race was on and it had been filmed in Bangkok.  That reminded him of a trip we took there in 2010.

He texted: I hope you are watching or recording Amazing Race.  They are in Bangkok in all the places we have been and it reminded me of how wonderful that trip was thanks to you.

I texted back: I am recording it, too busy moving.

He texted back congratulations and some other pleasantries.

I replied: Thank you, Life is beautiful! I continue to be blessed!

And that was the end.

It was not until much later that I realized one thing:  I had no feelings about getting a text from him, and consequently I had no feelings about him.  I was completely  indifferent to hearing from him. I was not happy or sad, it was just a text from somebody I knew.

I didn’t read and re-read the texts trying to find hints of something that one day was, trying to find hidden meanings of love.

I was not mad he texted.  I was not mad he reminded me of that amazing trip.  I was just completely unaffected by it.

I no longer have the longing sad feelings of a lost love.  I no longer have anger over what he threw away.  I am no longer annoyed and hurt that he acted like he had done nothing wrong.

I thought this day would never come.  I thought I would always have some feeling towards him.  It is so wonderful to realize that my heart is whole and it back to being my own.

This feels like some sort of graduation, a process completed, a rite of passage I am done with.

He is no longer a central character in the plot of my life.  He is not even a supporting character.  He is just a chapter in a book that now sits in the shelf of my life collecting dust.

I never realized how the absence of feelings could ever feel this amazing!

“Well, now
If little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you
Little by little
If suddenly you forget me
Do not look for me
For I shall already have forgotten you

If you think it long and mad the wind of banners that passes through my life
And you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots
Remember
That on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms
And my roots will set off to seek another land”
― Pablo Neruda

I will never have sex again!

16 Tuesday Dec 2014

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Love can only be found through the act of loving.”
― Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

I can’t take this song out of my mind for the past few days.

No, I am not depressed, but sometimes I am concerned. Love seems to be eluding me.   I continue to meet some nice guys, but the chemistry is never there.  There are no sparks!

Currently I am dating a math professor, but I think I will not see him again.  I gave it 3 dates and I think that it was enough to see if there were any sparks.  He is a great guy, everything about him is good, except my heart is telling me he is not the one.  There are no fireworks or butterflies in my stomach.

He will be pretty disappointed when I tell him that there will be no romance in our future.  I have been honest with him since the first date, I have told him that I was confused and thought something was missing. He thinks I am amazing, smart and fun.  He is all that too, but that is not enough, or is it?

“My heart might be bruised, but it will recover and become capable of seeing beauty of life once more. It’s happened before, it will happen again, I’m sure. When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive–I’ll find love again.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

I think I came really close to finding the One (or the one good enough to have sex with) twice in the past 3 years since the break up.  I have felt that excitement of a new relationship complete with fireworks, sparks, the whole kit and caboodle.  Unfortunately those 2 relationships never got off the ground.  Perhaps I imagined them because they both were improbable.

The first guy lived too far, like in across the map.  I was convinced that love would conquer all.  He remained unconvinced, no matter how many inventive ways I came up with to change his mind. Unfortunately the friendship I thought we had disappeared almost as fast as it came.  I still don’t understand it, but respect his choice.

The second guy lived close but was way too young.  He was mature beyond his years, but we both agreed that we were at different stages in life.  We rarely see each other but we have become great friends always keeping in touch and checking on each other via calls and text.

The professor and I in 3 dates managed to go to a Soul Food restaurant, to an awesome wine bar/bistro, to a sports bar.  We played billiards and ping pong.  He won in billiards and I was the victor in ping pong.  We also saw Interstellar on Imax. The movie was not really my cup of tea but the experience was awesome.

The search and the fun continues, as I do enjoy meeting new people and going on dates.  The only thing about not finding sparks and fireworks with anyone again is that at this rate I will never have sex again!  There I said it! 🙂

Sex without love? hummm, perhaps… Sex without sparks? Impossible!!

“Anyone who is observant, who discovers the person they have always dreamed of, knows that sexual energy comes into play before sex even takes place. The greatest pleasure isn’t sex, but the passion with which it is practiced. When the passion is intense, then sex joins in to complete the dance, but it is never the principal aim.” ― Paulo Coelho

“I’ll Never Fall In Love Again”

What do you get when you fall in love?
A guy with a pin to burst your bubble
That’s what you get for all your trouble
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again
What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do, he’ll never phone ya
I’ll never fall in love again
Don’t you know that I’ll never fall in love againDont’ tell me what’s it all about
‘Cause I’ve been there and I’m glad I’m out
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I’m here to remind youWhat do you get when you fall in love?
You only get a life of pain and sorrow
So for at least until tomorrow
I’ll never fall in love again
No, no, I’ll never fall in love againI’m out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I’m here to remind youWhat do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So for at least until tomorrow
I’ll never fall in love again
Don’t you know that I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again

Video

My heart is Green and Yellow, and also Red, White and Blue!

03 Friday Oct 2014

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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“It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love or how you love, it matters only that you love”― John Lennon

 

This is what everyone sees as they enter my office:

Brazilian flag

My beautiful Brazilian flag!  I put it up during the World Cup in June and never took it down.  I think I will just leave it there until the next World Cup in 2018.

This morning, for some reason, a thought came to mind:  What does that flag really mean? It means I love my birth country and I am proud to be a Brazilian – that simple!

But what about the very country I am in right now?  What about the good old USA?

Having my Brazilian flag in a way makes me feel close to my Brazilian roots, but in no way means that I love the US any less.

I happen to love both countries equally and would hate if I had to choose one.  It would be like asking a mother which one of her children she wants to keep.  I could never choose. Thanks heaven I don’t have to.

I am blessed to be a citizen of two countries.  For now I choose to live in the US – a country that welcomed me with open arms and has given me opportunities I would never have in Brazil.  I don’t feel I am half Brazilian half American, I feel I am full Brazilian and full American!

It doesn’t seem right to be displaying only the Brazilian flag.  I think it is sending the wrong message (no one here in my office has ever said anything about my keeping the flag up, so this unfairness is all in my mind and heart).  Right at this moment I am online shopping for an American flag.  I will be hanging it up there with my Brazilian one.   It think it will be perfect!

I see many issues with both countries.  There is a lot that needs changing here and there.  But I see both of my countries like the people that I love: I don’t always condone their actions and I don’t look only to their flaws.  I choose to love and be grateful for all the beauty and goodness in them. No matter what, I will continue to do my best to improve my surroundings in whenever country I happen to be in.

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s needs, but not every man’s greed.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

 

Back to my waiting life!

27 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by in Daily Life, Fiction

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“Old places fire the internal weather of our pasts. The mild winds, aching calms, and hard storms of forgotten emotions return to us when we return to the spots where they happened.” ― Siri Hustvedt, The Sorrows of an American

I returned from Brazil 2 days ago.  In some instances it feels I have never left the US, in others it feels like I was away for years.  I am blessed to be a citizen of two countries, but at times I feel I belong in neither. I love taking time away and being with my family but I am happy to return as I cannot stay away from my routine for too long.   Is it the fear that things will fall apart in my absence? Or perhaps the opposite, the realization that all progresses very well in my absence?  I think it is a matter of being a control freak. I always come back renewed and hungry to improve in all areas of my life. I got use this momentum to get moving in the things I want to accomplish.

“Be genuinely interested in everyone you meet and everyone you meet will be genuinely interested in you” ― Rasheed Ogunlaru

A couple of highlights from last week: I met very interesting people at the airport.  (I will talk to anyone that makes eye contact 🙂 ) I met a young entrepreneur from Liechtenstein building a business that empowers women affected by human trafficking.  I will write more about him and his business as I learn more.  He introduced me to 2 women and a man from the Masai tribe in Tanzania.  They all had come to attend events celebrating The International Women’s Day at the United Nations in NY.  The 2 women spoke no English other than a couple of words.  The language barrier was replaced with smiles.  Later I was able to get M. (also from Tanzania and attending the event, but not from the tribe) to translate.  The two women from the tribe were shocked to find out I was not married and have no kids. One commented that I must have turned down many marriage offers.   G., one of the women said that she is sure God will send me a child as she made some gestures towards the sky.  I joked that I need a husband first.  It seems I am an anomaly in any culture or anywhere in the world.  Be it in the US or Tanzania, to be in my late 40s, never married and have no kids is shocking!

“Each person you meet is an aspect of yourself, clamoring for love.”  ― Eric Micha’el Leventhal

Meeting them was awesome for so many reasons! It renews my love of different cultures and this dream of travelling the word.  They were eager to invite me to visit them.  In that way they are like Brazilians; our doors are always open to new friends.  This chance encounter also reignited my volunteer flame. To me education for all girls, actually boys too, as well as men and women, especially in impoverished countries, is the key to a better future for all.  Knowledge brings empowerment. I have to find a way to do my part.

“To Whom Much is Given, Much is Expected” ― Luke 12:48

Being with my family is always a blast! We don’t always agree on everything, but whatever disagreements we have are normally out of too much love.   We eat, we laugh, we eat some more.  Who knew just one week could do so much damage to my waistline?  It is great to see that mom and dad are doing well! Dad has completely won his cancer battle! My brother and sister are thriving professionally with great plans towards the future.  To me happy people make plans.  Any time someone has plans to look forward to it, it shows their hope for the future.  Hope is the best thing a person can have, I cannot ask for anything else for them. My dad was always a homebody, which only got worse after he amputated his right leg, so it is great to see him getting out a bit more.  Lately, whenever I am in Brazil he agrees to spend one afternoon at the pool house and also to go to brunch at a winery.

“Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other.”  ― Carol Saline

One low moment,  realizing that my sister and I get along better from a distance.  On the phone we rarely have disagreements, in person we get so critical and so defensive that at times we were unable to have a conversation.  I guess it has to do with expecting the best from each other, knowing what our potentials are and expecting more.   I am sure being identical twins contribute to that.  Anything I said seemed to spark defensiveness. Perhaps I should not call this a low moment but a huge opportunity.  An opportunity for more communication, more acceptance, more love and more self-awareness and self-reflection.  I need to look in the mirror, as I am sure that which I find fault in her is what I am guilt of. The best thing is feeling loved and well received and that is clear to see from all of them!  I am blessed with a great family!

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.” – Steve Maraboli 

Why I bother with online dating

03 Monday Mar 2014

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” 
― C.G. Jung

Last night I went to dinner with a friend.  I was telling her all about my adventures and misadventures with online dating. She thinks dating online is an absolute waste of time and she has no patience for it.  Even though we agree that we have different views on the subject, for some reason I found myself defending online dating.

It got me thinking on the reasons why I do online dating.  The main reason of course it that I want to find someone to share my wonderful life with, but it is more than that.

1.  I still believe that there is someone out there for me and I am not willing to let go of that idea.  I still believe in love.   I don’t know where this person is and I don’t know when it will happen, but it will.  That I know for sure!

2. I believe in being pro-active.   I don’t like putting all my faith into fate!  The idea of sitting on my hands and waiting for someone to knock on my door doesn’t suit me well.  Putting myself out there makes me feel empowered.

“Nothing in this world was more difficult than love.” ― Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

3. It forces me to get out of the house and socialize.  I love staying at home and most of the time I rather stay home than go out.  The few friends I have are often busy.   I am becoming a hermit.  Dating gives me a reason to get dressed up and out there in the world. I find it fun getting ready, getting dolled up and dressed up, and a date is a good excuse for it.

4.  I am able to meet people that I don’t normally encounter on my day to day.   I see people on the train and on my walk to work, but no chance to talk and get to know anyone. Online I have met all kinds, and I enjoy the diversity.

5.  Gives me great knowledge on men, people in general. I am becoming a connoisseur of people.  Some men amaze me, some disgust me, some make me want to get a dog, some renew my faith in mankind.  But they all make me rejoice in the beauty of the details that make each one of us unique.

“When God knows you’re ready for the responsibility of commitment, He’ll reveal the right person under the right circumstances.” 
― Joshua Harris

6. Gives me great knowledge into myself.  With each experience, good and bad, I learn about myself as I deal with the aftermath of a potential encounter, from hopefulness and happiness to rejection and disappointment. I am also getting great insight in the type of partner I want and need.  Perhaps it makes me more selective, but I don’t see a problem with that.

7. I operate under the premise that I am normal, heck, I am better than normal I am a terrific human being, and chances are I am not the only one in the dating site. There is got to be at least a few more.  I know I will end up attracting them, well only one will do.

“A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.” ― Mae West

8.  It is better than a bar.  I don’t have to drink, it can be free, you can check out people as much as you want. You can Google their information and sometimes get a whole background on them.  Some times I feel like a detective and I like it.  I can normally spot a scammer miles away.

9.  I get to learn how to deal with rejection and develop a thicker skin.  On the rare instance that I hear something that has the potential to hurt me, I think to myself: Consider the source!  I also know that if people feel the need to insult or hurt is because they are hurting themselves and therefore they deserve my compassion.  I don’t dwell on the negative.

I don’t know how long I will feel the way I feel, but for now online dating for me is harmless entertainment.  I feel I do it smart and fair.  If I meet somebody special it will be awesome, if I don’t it is okay too!  I made friends and I have stories to tell.  This is another way in which I think that I am choosing to live my life and not letting life pass me by.

“I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.”   William Ernest Henley, Invictus

Bye 2013, Welcome 2014!

31 Tuesday Dec 2013

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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“Love is the absence of judgment.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

I was going to write a year-end balance of my life.  I was going to illustrate how far I have come and where I want to go.  The truth is it doesn’t matter!  What is important is that I continue growing, improving, facing old fears, charting new courses, moving always.  One foot in front of the other, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but always taking a next step.

Coming very far just shows me that I have so much more to go and do.  Same with knowledge, but it is better to know than live in blissful ignorance.  Knowledge is power!

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” ― Socrates

My wish for myself and for the world in 2014:  More acceptance and less control and judgment.

“Whenever you feel like criticizing any one…just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

I realized that my wanting to improve myself and the world around me, even though it a good thing, it was becoming a tad too controlling and self-important.  I was trying to control my surroundings.  I was passing judgment and I was not accepting of people’s difference of opinion.  I was feeling a little too self-important, like I have the knowledge and if people can only do as I say and follow my lead all would be fine.  Where is the respect for other people’s free will?

We all have our roads to travel, our crosses to bear, I have no right to interfere.   Even if asked, I should refrain from opining.  I don’t have all the answers.  Actually, even worst, I don’t even have all the questions.

“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” ― Paulo Coelho

So in 2014 I will watch for the times that I am passing judgment, for the times that I am trying to exercise control of something or situation.  I will accept more and do less (less manipulating and controlling).  I will refrain from giving advice.  I will allow nature to take its course without my constant need to guide the destiny.  Less reaction, less meddling, more acceptance and understanding!

Every single one of you are important to me and a part of my journey. For that I feel blessed and I am grateful! A wondrous and blessed 2014 to All!

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” ― Lao Tzu

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What seeds am I planting?

20 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 27 Comments

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Whistler, BC, Canada

Whistler, BC, Canada – where I would love to be at this moment!

I was thinking of 2014 and I realized how important what I am doing at this very moment contributes to my future – no earth shattering news there but sometimes I catch myself going through the motions and not really living or paying attention to what I am doing.

I decided, to quote my favorite movie “Shaswhank Redemption”, get “busy living” instead of get “busy dying”.  I decided to take a look at my present behavior to see if I am conducting myself in a way that benefits my future.  What seeds am I planting?

Here are the questions I am asking myself, and in a way here is my self improvement list:

1)    Am I getting enough sleep and drinking enough water?

2)    Am I learning to accept, love and take care of my body the way it deserves?

3)    Am I watching what I eat and drink?  Am I getting enough protein and less sugar?

4)    Am I making sure I am not overindulging in anything, and letting any one thing control me? Chocolate, TV, even a good thing such as exercise can become an addiction if I let it control me.

5)    Am I reading more and watching less?  Books are food for my mind and soul, TV can sometimes desensitize us and make us life observers and not participants.  (of course there are bad books and good TV shows too!)

6)    Am I making sure I am not wasting my time online with useless distractions?  Online life can be addictive and unreal.

7)    Am I simplifying my life?  Getting rid of the excess, old and unused? Donate, trade, re-purpose!

8)    Am I recycling and not wasting resources?

9)    Am I keeping clean surroundings?  A clean desk, house, mind means more efficiency.

10)  Am I respecting my parents and my elders? Am respecting their opinions, their limitations?

Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death. ~Anaïs Nin

11)  Am I being kind to strangers?  Am I being kind to all, especially when it is most difficult to do?

12)  Am I surrounding myself with quality people, good energy people? Am staying away from negativity?

13)  Am I getting myself out in the world and networking and cultivating good relationships?

14)  Am I updating my resume and qualifications? Am I being ready and prepared should I come to need it?

15)  Am I giving back to the community, to the world? Am I volunteering my time and energy to worthwhile causes?  Am I donating money?

16)  Am I obeying the laws, written and unwritten?

He who knows others is learned;
He who knows himself is wise.
~Lao-tzu

17)  Am I being moral and ethical? Am I making sure that I am not taking shortcuts?

18)  Am I replacing old bad habits with new good ones? For example, taking a walk after dinner instead of sitting in front of the TV.

19)  Am I facing my fears and getting out of my comfort zone? This is the where and when my soul shines and my self esteem rises!

20)  Am I smiling often? Am I smiling when things are good and smiling even more when things are bad?

21)  Am I making sure I am not settling for less than what I deserve for fear (of something, the unknown, of being alone, etc)?

“It takes courage…to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.” 
― Marianne Williamson

22)  Am I talking less and listening more? Am I using my words for the good?

23)  Am I using my skills and talents to the best of my abilities?

24)  Am I always learning something new?  (to me this is the key to staying young)

25)  Am I praying and having positive thoughts throughout my day? Am I trusting the God/Universe/Light within me?

26)  Am I being in the moment?  Am I being conscious of my actions and not going through life as a robot?

27)  Am I forgiving and forgetting? Am I forgiving others for wronging me?

28)  Am forgiving myself for past mistakes? Am I taking corrective measures to right and wrong but not dwelling in it?

29)  Am I learning to ask for help and accept help when I need it?  Am I offering help?

30)  Am I creating goals and working towards achieving them?

All men should strive to learn before they die
what they are running from, and to, and why.
~James Thurber

31)  Am I keeping stress at bay, by learning to relax, breathing and hitting pause when necessary?

32)  Am I being non-reactive? Am I making sure that I am not being impulsive with my actions?

33)  Am I being financially responsible and living within my means?  Am I cutting out unnecessary expenses? Am I having respect for my money and the hard work I put in to get it?

34)  Am I accepting people as they are, and not imposing my will on them? Am I being non-judgmental?

35)  Am I welcoming pain, problems, obstacles, challenges, etc, as a growth opportunity?  Am I looking at the situation and learning from it?

36) Am I loving when hating would be easier?

37) Am I being grateful for all I have been blessed with?  I am honoring my blessings and not taking anything for granted?

This is an on-going list as I am a work-in-progress!

“It is necessary … for a man to go away by himself … to sit on a rock … and ask, ‘Who am I, where have I been, and where am I going?” 
― Carl Sandburg

My favorite flowers: daisies

My favorite flowers: daisies!