Category Archives: Finding Me

Anything related to the discovery of the inner me

From Famine to Feast

17 Wednesday Aug 2022

Posted by in Finding Me, Food, Daily Life, Reviews, Dating

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“Everything in the universe has a rhythm, everything dances. ” ― Maya Angelou

After no dates for a while, I had 2 dates in 2 days.

The guy that I called “The Disingenuous” on the prior post invited me to go see Steely Dan.  I had not blocked him because I sensed that he was harmless and just perhaps a little misguided. I mentioned to him that I didn’t think he was serious about meeting because of what he had done before.

He apologized, and said it was not his intention to appear that he was playing games.  I said ok, and he quickly got the tickets and then asked for restaurant suggestions.  I gave him a couple of names and he booked a place that I like, Sonora Restaurant.

We met near The Capitol in Port Chester, that was where Steely Dan was playing.  From there we went together to the restaurant.  It was a gorgeous evening, so we sat outside.  We shared several small plates instead of ordering an entrée.  It just felt faster that way, as we had the concert to go to. 

We shared different tacos, eggplant meatballs, yucca fries, quinoa cakes, etc. To drink I had the Brazilian Cosmopolitan, made with blood orange vodka.  He had iced tea.  He quit drinking. He said he doesn’t have a problem with alcohol, he just feels he doesn’t need it. Everything was delicious and the conversation flowed. 

“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The theater is beautiful and the concert was great.  Even though I really didn’t grow up listening to Steely Dan, I recognized a few songs.  They didn’t play their most famous one, and the one that I knew the most, Rikki Don’t Lose My Number.   The entire band was amazing. Every single one so talented!!

After the concert, he walked me to my car and we hugged goodbye.  It was the strongest hug I ever received.  The jury is still out if that was a good or bad thing.  I am thinking he was just eager.

We have texted back and forth for a little bit.  I am not sure if we will see each other again.  He is 60 years old, but looks younger. He has been married twice, and has 3 kids, the 2 youngest are 10 years old.  He works as some type of smart home/alarm sales – not sure exactly the details.  Maybe it is worth a second date.  I didn’t really feel much chemistry. I am just not sure.

“The beauty of God is in the wind, in the movement of the ocean, it is in the eyes of a woman gazing at her lover, pouring the deep red wine of love from her eyes like two crystal cups. There is a God who dances and who loves and who longs to sing of love…And I mean that God is music; all inclusive, benevolent and life-affirming, unashamed human emotion.”― Jeff Buckley

On Saturday I went on a date with a 58 years semi-retired engineer.  He has been divorced for 3 years and has 2 grown sons.  We went to an awesome restaurant called Harvest on Hudson.  It was facing the Hudson River.  The location was gorgeous and the food so yummy.  

I had an awesome cocktail, that I don’t recall the name, but it had passion fruit and Aperol in it. He had vodka soda. I had cod fish fritters for appetizer and eggplant for the entrée.  He had meatballs, and then linguine. For dessert I had the tiramisu, and it was probably the best I ever had. 

“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.” ― Mark Twain

He must have said I was beautiful at least 10 times. Not only to me, but to the hostess, to the bartender, to the waiter, to anyone we interacted with.  He also loved my dress and my glasses.

After dinner we walked by the river, then to my car.  We hugged good bye with a quick peck on the lips.  I forgot to mention, when I first met him, it seemed he was going for my lips and I turned so he gave me a peck on the cheek. In my book, when upon meeting someone, peck on the cheek is ok and the norm, on the lips no.  Yes, I am a prude lol

We have texted just a couple of times and last night he called me and invited me to dinner tomorrow (Thursday).  I said yes.  I am not sure there is a lot of chemistry but he seems so nice that I want to go on a second date and see if there is anything there. 

I had 2 great dates with 2 great guys.  When that happens I get reminded of the beauty of the potential and possibilities.  I get the feeling that I am getting closer.  One never knows, and that is why I keep trying.  Feeling blessed and hopeful.

“I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted
most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them.” ― Nora Ephron

 

Dating? What Dating?

11 Thursday Aug 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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“He was swimming in a sea of other people’s expectations. Men had drowned in seas like that.” ― Robert Jordan, New Spring

Even though I haven’t gone on any dates since I re-joined Match over a month ago, I have exchanged a lot messages with potentials, and therefore I have some stories to tell.  I could have gone on some dates, but due to my lack of time, I am being more selective. I rather not waste anybody’s time.  or mine.

There were some guys that I was getting only a friend vibe and not romance.  I gave them the friendship option.  A couple agreed but we haven’t met yet.

When I started online dating years ago I never spoke on the phone prior to meeting in person.  Then I relaxed a little about that rule and would give my number out if I thought someone was serious.  Now, after exchanging numbers with a couple of people and being frustrated with the experience, I am back to not talking on the phone.  Of course, every now and then I may change my mind.   

“There’s a butterfly that has been hovering around the window. It doesn’t know where to go. I am that butterfly.” ― Bhuwan Thapaliya

In no particular order:

The Uninterested Learner:  This guy mentions that he is learning Portuguese, and writes a few words in Portuguese.  I get excited that we have something to talk about right away.  I reply with a simple greeting in Portuguese.  He takes 2 days to reply that he doesn’t know what it means. What about Google? Anyway, I translate it and try to initiate a conversation.  He goes silent again.  Then comes back again with a hi.  I reply and he goes silent.  It shows his level of interest.  I am not hanging around for a hi every few days.  Bye, or as we say in Brazil, tchau (ciao)!

The Busy Caller.  This guy and the one below are the reasons why I am not giving my number out anymore.  We had a great conversation on the phone, so great that he kept calling and I kept answering. Until I got tired of it.  He would end every call with: “We need to meet”, but never made plans.  I proposed meeting for coffee a couple of times, but he was always was busy.  I stopped answering the phone.  Talk is cheap.

The Not so Spiritually-Grown.   He said he wanted to just say a quick hi and make plans to meet. He called and we talked for almost 1 hour about, yes you guessed, spiritual growth.  He was eager to mention the many years he has been working on himself and how he has grown as a person.  

We made dinner plans for the following evening.  Next day comes and he texts: “I didn’t sleep well, and I don’t feel like driving to your town tonight.  Tomorrow night I have plans already, and then I am leaving for Spain for 10 days.  I will contact you when I return.”  Good thing I didn’t hold my breath. Ten days have come and gone long ago. Honesty is a sign of spiritual growth, or perhaps of just a descent human.  I knew he would never reach out again, so why not just be honest?

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” ― Plato

The All about Boating guy:  He lives by a small lake about 1 hour away. We tried making plans to meet, but he always canceled over boating issues. The first time he canceled because there was an unexpected meeting about the dock, then someone was coming to fix the dock, then he had to go boating with his brother.  I decided not to try to schedule anymore.  I was already not feeling it, and I decided that he is too far invested in a boating lifestyle.  I am not, and don’t want to be.  In the end I just didn’t feel we wouldn’t be a good match and didn’t want him traveling 1 hour to see me, when he could go boating instead. 😊

The Bluffer:  this is a bunch of guys and not only one.  They will just come out with something like: “How about we grab a drink this week, what day are you free? ” I say: “sure”, and suggest a day. They in turn can never find the time.  They are not sure when they are free, but they keep messaging and wasting my time.  Why ask someone out if there is no intention of going through with it?

The Disingenuous.   He asked for my number right away.  I said no, and explained why not.  He asked me:  “How can we make plans to meet if you don’t give me your number?”  I said: “Right here, the same way we are communicating now.”  We exchanged a few more messages.  On Saturday morning he messages me asking me to lunch on Sunday.  When I replied accepting his invitation he was not online anymore.  And he was not online again until Sunday night, when he said:  “I got busy with my kids and didn’t have a chance to check Match. If I had your number…”

I didn’t really say what I wanted to say.  When I didn’t hear back from him on Saturday I knew there would be no Sunday brunch.  I have seen that movie before.

Note: So happens that as I am writing this he has another invitation for me.  Details to follow.

“I think Kitaru is honestly seeking something,” I went on. “In his own way, at his own pace. It’s just that I don’t think he’s grasped yet what it is. That’s why he can’t make any progress. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, it’s not easy to look for it.” ― Murakami Haruki

The Back Pedaling guy.  We exchanged a few messages, he invites me to dinner and I say yes.  Location and time are set. Then I get a video call request from him through the app.  I don’t accept it.  He then says that he hit that button by accident.  Later he says that is probably a good idea that we have a video call before meeting so that we can see that we are who we say we are. Because, as he said: “I could show up and you are a man”.  Yep, he said that, and he has not been the first.

This is a total turn off for me.  If you are not sure about someone then don’t schedule a date.  Be upfront about your needs and wants.  I don’t do video calls.  I have no interest in that.  Date was canceled.  He then said that we should meet for coffee.  While I have no problem in meeting for coffee, or for nothing really, like meeting at the library or something like that, I don’t like how he handled this.  I am not interested anymore.

The Young and Not Classy.  This guy is eight years younger than me, but by the way he went on and on, you would think that he was 20 years younger.  Side note:  I look younger than him.  In the first few messages there was no mention of age.  Then he started with questions such as if I don’t mind that he is younger, have I dated younger men, what is the youngest men I ever dated, etc.  It just got annoying that he kept obsessing about the age difference. If age is not an issue, then don’t make it an issue. Bye baby!

The All about Sex.  This guy seemed funny and in the beginning we exchanged a few cute messages.  There were a couple of innuendos thrown in there, and I just played along. I am okay with that, and probably guilt of that.  But he kept going and seemed stuck on the sexual innuendo world.  I tried guiding the messages to other areas but he was one track mind.  I got off that track before I got run over.  

“Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

The Bad Interviewer.  He talks/write a lot, but it is not really a conversation.  It is being bombarded with questions that are meaningless to me.  What is your favorite color?  If you could be a pet which would you be?  What is your favorite food? What is your favorite season? Have you ever broken a bone? What is your favorite day of the week?  Day or night? And the list of inane questions goes on and on.  Finally I just sent one question back: “Date or no date?”.  He didn’t get it.  He never will.

Don’t be turned off to online dating after reading this.  There are some good guys also.  Not that those above are not good people.  They are just not good for me. 

There will always be miscommunications, misunderstandings, assumptions, expectations and the such.  Some people are just difficult.  I am difficult.

I believe in online dating.  I am grateful for the opportunity of meeting people that I wouldn’t normally have a chance to meet in my day to day life.  I still see joy in it, even though some times the water there is so murky one cannot see anything, let alone joy.

“Time provides all of us with the opportunity to change, alter our belief system, and create new perspectives that challenge a person’s character and teach him or her how to become a happier and wiser person.” ― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

 

Progress or Illuision?

03 Wednesday Aug 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“Progress is not an illusion; it happens, but it is slow and invariably disappointing.” ― Orwell

My poor little building is being dwarfed by new bigger and taller neighbors. The picture above is the view from my parking lot. One building is almost done and two are on the way.  

And those are not the only ones.  I thought it was a total of 25 new buildings, but the total number is actually 40.  There are about a dozen completed, another dozen yet to start, and about 18 under construction.

Add to all the construction noise and commotion, all the road, utility and infrastructure projects to upgrade water, electric, gas, etc.  Living and getting around downtown New Rochelle has been a bit of a nightmare.  I look forward to the end of it… in about 5 years.  Yes, I am being an optimist.

“Progress always involves risk; you can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.” ― F.W. Dupee

I believe progress is good, but 40 residential and multi-use buildings seems way too much.  I wonder if we really have the infrastructure to handle so many buildings and so many more people, cars, etc.  And where will all the people to populate all these buildings be coming from? 

Before Covid and remote working, New Rochelle was aiming to attract the Manhattan commuters.  New Rochelle is only 30 minutes from Manhattan, so it is attractive to workers looking for an easy commute and cheaper rents. 

I guess, even after Covid, New Rochelle is still hoping to attract the Manhattanites and Brooklynites that got priced out of their neighborhoods.  Even though the rents around here are not that much cheaper.

I am looking forward to the new parks, restaurants, coffee shops, more cultural programs, more musical events, and the such.  I am looking forward to a more revitalized New Rochelle, not only the skyline, but the lifestyle.  

“Restlessness is discontent — and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man — and I will show you a failure.” ― Thomas A. Edison

Speaking of progress, when it comes to dating there is none! More to follow.  There are no dates, but still there are stories. 🙂

Meet Barnaby, the bunny

28 Thursday Jul 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” ― Anatole France

I am busy, busy, busy.  I am stressed, stressed, stressed.  I am grateful, grateful, grateful!

This is Barnaby. He is the mosaic studio’s mascot.  He has been living there for the past 2 months. 

I love holding him, but I rarely do.  I am afraid to pick him up.  He feels so fragile that I feel I may hurt him or break his little bones. 

He is adorable, and the softest thing I ever touched. He makes me smile.

“The man who chases two rabbits, catches neither.” – Confucius

“My cat brought me a toy. I thanked her and threw it. She sat there gave me a look that made me realize people and dogs are the crazy ones.” ― Dan Harmon

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. Winston Churchill

“I talk to him when I’m lonesome like; and I’m sure he understands. When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat. For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that.” ― W. Dayton Wedgefarth

Life is a bowl of grapes, some sour, some sweet

19 Tuesday Jul 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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“We should all do what, in the long run, gives us joy, even if it is only picking grapes or sorting the laundry.” – E. B. White

Here is the latest mosaic piece I did.  As with some of the others, I started with a painting that I got at a tag sale.  It helps to already have a frame, and the painting already on it often gives me inspiration.  More often than not I end up with something very different than the original painting, but still, one can see the the remnants of it in it.  This one has no grout.  I just used glue.

I was going to label myself as the lazy artist because of that, but I am not.  I am being resourceful.  I am labeling myself the smart artist.  That I am calling myself an artist at all is a wonder.  I was never artistic or creative.  I have always been smart and good at a variety of things, but art was never among those talents.

So, to be doing mosaics and doing some pieces that people actually like, is an amazing feeling.  I still struggle with my practical and results driven side.  I want to finish a project as soon as I start.

The beauty of mosaics, and any art, for that matter, is getting lost in it.  It is the proverbial journey.  I am getting there.  

“People pretend not to like grapes when the vines are too high for them to reach.” ― Marguerite de Navarre

“My favorite fruit is grapes. Because with grapes, you always get another chance. ‘Cause, you know, if you have a crappy apple or a peach, you’re stuck with that crappy piece of fruit. But if you have a crappy grape, no problem – just move on to the next. ‘Grapes: The Fruit of Hope.'” – Demetri Martin

“You are but a tiny cluster upon the vines of heaven, where the grapes are worlds; yet you hold the power to ripen your bitter berries and add to the eternal vintage of cosmic sweetness if so you will.” ― Eden Phillpotts, Saurus

 

“My love, suddenly
your hip
is the curve of the wineglass
filled to the brim,
your breast is the cluster,
your hair the light of alcohol,
your nipples, the grapes
your navel pure seal
stamped on your barrel of a belly,
and your love the cascade
of unquenchable wine,
the brightness that falls on my senses,
the earthen splendor of life.”
― Pablo Neruda

It is okay to be off course

16 Saturday Jul 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.”
― Michael J. Fox

My Duolingo streak is broken. I made it to day 339. I had a choice of paying to keep my streak going. Call me frugal, but I didn’t pay.

Perhaps I should have. It has been 3 or 4 days and I still haven’t gone back to doing my daily French lessons. It is easy to leave it for later if I no longer have a streak to protect.

All of a sudden I feel like a loser. How could I break my streak? Keeping that streak going made me feel powerful and capable of grand things. Stupid, right?

“Don’t mistake activity with achievement.”
― John Wooden

It will take me another year to get to that number again, once I start it, if I start it. Perhaps keeping a streak going is not for me. Maybe I should make a point of breaking streaks.

Duolingo is not the only thing that I have been neglecting lately. This blog, my exercise routine, healthy meals, books, etc, they are all suffering. 

I have been choosing to start early at work, instead of going to the gym. I often choose Netflix and Sedecordle instead of reading a book. I sometimes eat cheesebread and fries for dinner, and the list goes on and on.

None of that really makes me a loser. Nothing has the power to, if I don’t let it. It is a matter of choice. Lately, I have been making choices that are not wise, but it feels comfortable. Perhaps that is just a nice way to say I have been lazy lately.

“In the pursuit of perfection, I forgot I was already enough.”
― Caroline George, The Summer We Forgot

And so what? Who says that I have to be always productive and perfect? Here is a newsflash to myself: You are not perfect. Perfection is an illusion. Just aim to be the best human being you can.

I am embracing the fact that it is okay for things not to be okay. It is okay to be off my routine. It is okay to let things go for a little bit; it is okay not to pressure myself to always be doing something.

It is okay not to feel in control at times. It is healthy to realize that streaks end, that sometimes we go off course. It is the perfect time to reassess my priorities. It is the perfect time to do things out of love and want, and not out of the sense of obligation and in search of perfection.

“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”― Salvador Dali

Sometimes one needs a break, needs to step off the gas pedal. I am yet again choosing to be kind to myself. I am giving myself permission to be less and do less.

I know I will slowly get back to the things that feed my body, mind and soul in a healthy way. I will go back to pursuing interests and passions, instead of coasting.

For now, I breathe. I get work done, deadlines met. I have finished another mosaic, which makes my heart sing (posting it next).

And for another great way to waste my valuable and scarce time, I just signed up for Match.

Because hope never dies.

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
― Emily Dickinson

Freedom, not loneliness

29 Wednesday Jun 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“You can change the place you live, your clothes, your interests, your friends, your religion and even your partner. However, if you forgot to change your mind, attitude, beliefs about the world, how you treat people and how you plan to be different this time around, why did you even bother?” ― Shannon L. Alder

After 5 years of living with me, my sister moved into her own place. It was not planned.  It happened very quickly.

I was 17 years old when I moved to NY.  She stayed in Brazil.  For the next 34 years we would see each once or twice a year.  In 2017 she got her Green Card and came to live with me. 

We are both fiercely independent Aries, loving our freedom and independence. Living together came with some adjustments.   Apparently I was doing a lot things wrong until she got here and showed me how to do it correctly 🙂  We both think we know it all! Things were better than expected though, we settled in a nice rhythm, and 5 years went by.

My tenant moved out on June 15, and I decided to sell the condo.  No more tenants for me.  I took my sister there to see it for the first time.  She fell in love with it.  

She is now my tenant while she saves more money for an official down payment.  She has been saving and investing since she got her first job here, so it will not take long.  I am extremely proud of her for being in the position to own something of her own here in the US.

We are both very excited to have our own spaces again, but she won’t be far.  We are in the same building. She is only a floor away. 



THE ABOVE CARTOON SAYS:
You get home, make coffee, sit on your favorite chair and there is no one…
You are the one that decides if that is loneliness or freedom.

So now I have my second bedroom back.  It is a good size bedroom, but I have so many ideas for it, that I will need 5 additional bedrooms to do it all.

Guest/Mom’s room- I will need a day bed or a sleep sofa. Comfy, but stylish.

Library/Reading corner -I will need a bookshelf and a comfy chair.

Mosaic studio – I will need a table and storage space for the materials.

Exercise corner – I will need to buy an elliptical. Need space to store mat, elastic bands, weights, etc. There are 2 closets, but I rather have those items easy, ready to use.

Sauna corner – need a space for my sauna blanket.  I am tired of rolling and unrolling it to use. And somewhere to place it – on the floor is not that comfortable.  Perhaps I will use the daybed when I get it or some small futon.

If you know me, you know I am a saver and not a spender, so I am not running out and buying a bunch of stuff to fill the room.  Specially after I take a look at my investments-scarily low. I will take my time.

“Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.” ― Maya Angelou

https://www.instagram.com/blessedwithastar/?hl=en

 

Sunday Coffee Date Update

23 Thursday Jun 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Some moments are nice, some are
nicer, some are even worth writing about.”
― Charles Bukowski, War All the Time

On Sunday morning, I was helping my sister organize some stuff and lost track of time.  All of a sudden, I realized it was a quarter to 11. My date was at 11am.

It was a mad rush. I took a shower, washed my hair, got dressed and was there at 11:00am. Luckly, the coffee shop was just around the corner from my apartment. I had wet hair, but I was on time.  By the way, being able to get ready in minutes is one of my claims to fame. 

As I was approaching the coffee shop, I saw him across the street reading a parking sign. I crossed and met him there.  I cannot remember if we hugged hello or not.  He looked like his picture, but was taller than I expected.  He is 6’4, and had some type of hiking shoes that added even more height.  He had beautiful blue eyes. 

We walked into this new coffee shop called Cafetero in New Rochelle.  I ordered an oat milk mocha latte and he ordered cappuccino. We were lucky to get the last table available.  We set down and there were no awkward pauses or any silence.  We both like to talk and took turns interrupting each other. 

“Always just pleasant. Never overexcited. Never, in fact, excited at all. Just pleasant, which is simply another word for nice.” ― Cecelia Ahern, Thanks for the Memories

I was able to learn a little about his life.  He lived overseas for a while.  Has two kids. He has been separated and out of the marital home for over 3 years, but he is still not divorced as they continue to battle over the assets.  He has a court date coming up and thinks that all will be resolved by then.

After one hour of conversation, I decided that it was time to go.  One hour seems like a good time for coffee only.  Had we gotten something to eat, perhaps I would have stayed longer.  

Looking back, perhaps I was too abrupt in cutting the date short.  But we are both the type of people that can talk forever.  It seemed that we were always in the middle of some conversation and there was no opening to say goodbye. So, it had to be abrupt.

The bottom line is that I found him handsome, personable and smart. But that was it.  Do I need more?  Yes, I do! I need sparks, or at least hints of it.  There was none.  I think we would make good friends.

I got home and texted him saying it was nice meeting him.  He replied agreeing he had a nice time.  He hasn’t reached out again.  I don’t expect him to, but if he does I would go out again as friends.

“In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.

But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Complete Poems of Dorothy Parker

A date here and there. A drink here and there. Fun always and everywhere.

17 Friday Jun 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, EX Files, Finding Me

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City Island, NY

City Island, NY

“What is past is past. never go back. Not for excuses. Not for justification, not for happiness. You are what you are, the world is what it is.” ― Mario Puzo

I should listen to Mario Puzo.  I think you realize by now that I have a problem closing doors.  I keep believing in redemption and second chances. Or perhaps I just think that the person will one day realize how amazing I really am.   I am getting better though.  I am slowly realizing I don’t have to talk to everyone. I don’t have to let everyone back in.  I don’t have to be nice to everyone. I don’t have to be friends with everyone.

“Even a spineless arthropod shed what’s no longer useful and leaves it behind them.  Are you not greater than they?” ― Jason Versey

I am deciding which online dating site I will be signing for next.   It will probably be Match.  While I decide and find the time to fill out a profile and upload photos, I have been busy with friends and some guys from the past.

There is this one guy that I don’t remember what name I gave him here.  I actually don’t even remember if I wrote about him.  Several years ago, we had a late-night date at a diner.  Immediately it was friendly and not romantic. 

Since then, he will call or text  a couple of times a year.   There is nothing interesting about his conversations.  It is all about him complaining about being busy and gloating about making a lot money.  He will always say that we need to get together and that he will call me to schedule.  He never does.  By now, I don’t even want to be friends anymore. 

I have his name on my phone as “Waste of Time”,  that should tell you how I feel about his texts and calls.  Finally, I got tired and blocked him on Messenger. 

The other day he found me on WhatsApp.  After exchanging a couple of messages, I blocked him there too.  It is the same song and dance.  He is not even friend material.

From now on I have to remember to block people on both, Messenger and WhatsApp.

“Memory takes a lot of poetic license. It omits some details; others are exaggerated, according to the emotional value of the articles it touches, for memory is seated predominantly in the heart. The interior is therefore rather dim and poetic.” – Tennessee Williams

Kremšnita at Dubrovnik Restaurant

Kremšnita at Dubrovnik Restaurant

Then there is Mr. Stock: https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.com/2021/09/10/the-prelude-to-the-unmasking-of-mr-stock/

We had a great time at that dinner over a year ago. I thought that he would ask me out again.  He never did.  Still, we continued the texting/talking relationship.  I was okay with that because we have become good friends.

Last Friday he asked if I wanted to go out to dinner.  I was surprised.  I like to eat, so I said yes.  I don’t mind last minute invitations.  If I am free, I go.

We went to Dubrovnik’s in New Rochelle.  He drove over 1 hour to take me to dinner.  He said that it took him hours to get the courage to ask me out.  I found that weird, and told him that.  I don’t get what the fear was. Later I understood that he thought this was a date.

During dinner he hinted that he now feels ready for a relationship… with me.  I was honest and said:  Been there, done that!  I told him about B., and how they are similar in the fact that they are both widowers and were not ready to date when we originally met.  I told him I am not making that same mistake again.

I also said to him that I believe that if a man really likes a woman, he doesn’t wait 1 year to ask her out on a second date.

He tried to give me all sorts of excuses, but I was not moved.  Friendship is the only thing on the table for him.

We continue to be friends.

“There exists in man a mass of sense lying in a dormant state, and which, unless something excites it to action, will descend with him, in that condition, to the grave.” ― Thomas Paine

Another guy, G. from a neighboring town reached out this week on WhatsApp.  Are people all of a sudden discovering WhatsApp? He mentioned that we met on OKCupid last year.  I was cautious as I didn’t remember anything about him.  I asked him if he had changed phone numbers, as he was not on my contacts.  He said that he didn’t.  I was only able to remember him when he sent me a picture.

I asked why we had stopped communicating and he said that I went to Brazil to visit my parents and never got in touch again. That is very possible.

I went through my records.  Yes, I do keep dating records.  It does come in handy. On my notes on him, I wrote: “Seems nice, but doesn’t seem to be that interested. Divorce is not final yet.”

On my notes I have a different phone number for him.  I will keep that in mind and ask him about it when we meet for coffee on Sunday. 

“Potential has a shelf life.” ― Margaret Atwood

On Saturday (Jun11), a friend, my sister and I went to a new Venezuelan restaurant in my town called Arepa Mania.  They had live music, and the two singers were great.   Do you know when restaurants open too soon, before they are ready?  That was the feeling I had.  Still, it was good, the owners were very pleasant, the music fun, the food good, but I think they have room for improvement.  After, we went for drinks to Modern Restaurant.

Cocktail at Modern Restaurant

Cocktail at Modern Restaurant

On Thursday (Jun14) we went to City Island, NY to Sea Shore restaurant.  The views were incredible, the service was great, but the food was just ok. The best for me was the free corn bread that they serve at the beginning.

Last night (Jun15) we took a friend to dinner at Tapas & Cucina in Eastchester, NY.  We had the most amazing time.  I have enjoyed their food, ambiance and service the past two times I had been there, but this time they added music to it.  They had an Italian singer, and it was great.  It was her birthday and the singer came and serenated her.  She was over the moon.

Yes, I have been busy 🙂

“We don’t know where we’re going, but isn’t is fun to go?” ― L.M. Montgomery

It feels good to be heard

13 Monday Jun 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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“Sometimes we just need to be heard… There are times in life when being heard leads to being healed.” ― Steve Maraboli

It feels good to know that someone is listening.  Even if that someone is a cute green owl.

 

I am am happy to report that I am still learning French with Duolingo.  It has been over 300 days and counting.

“Being heard and understood is “one of the greatest desires of the human heart.” ― Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff … and It’s All Small Stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things From Taking Over Your Life