Category Archives: Volunteering

My quest to find a place to volunteer

More than a Flower

07 Thursday Jan 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Mosaic and other crafts, Volunteering

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Before anything, I want to remark how sad it is to watch what happened at the Capitol yesterday.  I cried.  I expect scenes such as those to happen in third world countries, such as my homeland of Brazil.  When it is right here in the US, it is shocking.  I continue to pray for peace and order.  I continue to look for the miracles that are sure to come after so much tragedy.

“I am realistic – I expect miracles.” ― Wayne Dyer

I miss you guys. I feel I have been away for months and it has only been one week 🙂 It is my busiest time of the year at work, with audits and other deadlines. 

On the personal side I am helping a friend with her laundry.  She has more laundry every 2 weeks than my sister and I both combined have for 2 months. And what is up with washing heavy winter sweaters after each single use?  Do people normally do that?  

My washing machine has started to make a funny noise.  I guess it has never seen that much action.  Perhaps I don’t wash my clothes enough.  🙂  ok, ok, I am going to listen to Mother Teresa and stop complaining.

“Give, but give until it hurts.” ― Mother Teresa

The mosaic studio is still not open.  I have not managed to do any mosaics at home.  I am reading through some mosaic books I have, including one I got for Christmas, and coming up with ideas and be ready when it reopens.

The piece below was done at the studio about a month ago.  A friend was throwing out 3 old paintings and offered them to me to use the frames.  I thought they would be perfect to make mosaic on.  I used one for my mother’s gift. The second is below and the third one is still in my mind.

This piece was not going to be a flower.  When I was about to start, I took a second look at the fading flower that was already there and decided to use it as a starting point.  

I am very happy with the result.

“To be creative means to be in love with life. You can be creative only if you love life enough that you want to enhance its beauty, you want to bring a little more music to it, a little more poetry to it, a little more dance to it.” ― Osho

“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them.” ― Marcus Aurelius

“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” ― Rabindranath Tagore

“In the silence of love
you will find the spark of life”
― Rumi

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No good deed goes unpunished!

30 Friday Aug 2013

Posted by in Daily Life, Volunteering

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I am crying, sobbing like a baby…  well it is PMS time so I am bound to cry over something.  This time I am crying out of sadness and anger.  I don’t know if it were not for PMS if I would be this emotional, but right now I feel so misunderstood and unappreciated.

It turns out that my days volunteering at the nursing home are over! Yep, you heard me right, over!  That didn’t last longer.  It took longer to get everything in order to volunteer.

Here is what happened:

I normally go to the nursing home on Monday nights for 2 hours and I just visit the residents.  In the beginning they were not sure what I would be doing, so they had me tag along and visit,  and I  realized that is what I enjoy doing.  I feel I would be the most helpful bringing joy and warmth to some people that seem to be forgotten.

This week I couldn’t go on Monday because I went to the opening night at the US Open tennis, so I wrote an email that I was going Tuesday instead.  I went Tuesday and was very happy when one of the nurses told me how happy and appreciative they were that I was able to go and visit.  I had asked her to let me know if I was interfering with anything.  She said absolutely not, that in fact I am a big help and I should come as often as I can.

That evening J., one of the residents, mentioned needing to talk to me (she has been talking about finding me a boyfriend – lol) but she couldn’t do it at that moment because her roommate was already sleeping.  She made me promised to return the following evening (Wed).

Because of the comments of the nurse I was under the impression that I could show up at any time.  So I returned on Wednesday to see J, and of course, since I was already there, I went on to say hello to some of the others.

As I was leaving 2 hours later, around 8pm, the Head Nurse was at the front lobby desk and with an attitude she started questioning me and asking me if anyone knew I was there.  I said that I was there visiting and I didn’t think that they needed to know when I visited.  After all, visitors are allowed in any time until 10pm.  I mentioned to her that if the problem was that I signed the volunteer book I wouldn’t do that next time.

I was offended and could feel my face burning up and I walked out holding back the tears.  I am a very sensitive creature to begin with and PMS turns me into a cry baby.  My first instinct was to get home and immediately send an email to the Director of Volunteers and quit, but because I am becoming more aware of myself, actions and reactions I decided not to act on impulse.  I also know that the end of the month is her busiest time of the month and decided to respect that and talk to her later.

Well, it turns out that S. spoke to the director and here is the email I received from her:

” I really appreciate your enthusiasm in volunteering and coming in late in the evenings to visit.. However, you really should only volunteer when our staff members are present.  Also, please continue letting me know if you decide to come in  (like you have been doing) on days that you were not originally planning to, so I can let my staff and/or front desk know.. On Monday and Tuesday 2K and 2S, you can volunteer up until 8PM with D., and then for the rest of the week, B. and D. are only there till 7PM. So I guess for the front desk person, it looked a little strange when you showed up after the recreation people were no longer there (even if they were, their work hour would be over by then). It this situation changes,  I will let you know (as I really think we do need evening visitors!)—that is if you can just come in even when the staff members are not here.. But I will just need to clear it with the administration. Hope that’s Ok with you!  Again, thank you so much for everything. Our residents and recreation staff love you!!  My ladies think you are great with the residents!”

Here is my reply: (and I did reply on impulse…oh well…so much for getting to know myself and working on not being so reactive all the time)

“No it is not okay with me.  I didn’t appreciate how S. talked to me yesterday.  That was after being very happy when B. (she dispenses medicine) told me how great it was that I could come and visit on Tuesdays.  I guess I was under the wrong impression that I could show up any time and visit my friends.

I showed up yesterday because I had promised J.  I would. I guess I should have not signed the volunteer book.  My visit was going to be only 15 minutes but I lost track of timing as I decided to say hello to my others resident.

It is very unfortunate that you have to take time out of your busy schedule to deal with this.  So I will just make it easy on everybody and not volunteer anymore.  I thank you and apologize for wasting your time.  But that old saying is really true: “No good deed goes unpunished!”

I hope it will not be a problem for me to still show up as visitor to visit some of the new dear friends I have made.  I would hate for them to think that I just abandoned them!  Let me know if there is anyone I need to speak to in regards to that.  I guess I can just check on the website for the visiting hours.

Again I am sorry you had to waste time for something I did.”

So my plan is to go back to visit my new friends.  I am sure they cannot stop me from doing that.  The residents know me and have huge smiles when they see me.  When I say good bye they always ask me to come again.

I realize that at this moment I feel on my skin the way the residents feel.  They all tell me that they don’t like to be told what to do and when to do it.  Because I always visit in the evenings I witness them having to wait around to be put to bed.  I understand the staff does their best and try to accommodate everyone as quick as they can and with a smile, but still to the resident is a loss of their independence and control over their own lives.  I try to play it off and say how we are all slaves to some sort of clock and rules.  I mention having to wait for things all the time such as a train or an appointment, and having to respect a schedule at work (which I actually don’t but the point is making them feel they are not alone in feeling helpless and out of control at times).

I understand them.  I hate being told what to do, especially in this case when I know I am doing good and only have goodness in my heart.  Their smiles and laughter at the crazy stories I tell them about my life (I tell them about dates and my family and day to day happenings) not only tell me that I am bringing joy, but it warms my heart and brings me joy.

Lucky for me I am not a resident there,  I don’t have to play politics with this nursing home at this point.  I don’t have to obey their rules.  At this point in my life I can just walk away from things I don’t like.

I am not afraid of growing old or dying, I am afraid of becoming dependent on others.

****

As I was about to publish this I get a reply to my reply:

I am sorry this is how you feel. I would not want to lose you as a volunteer. Maybe we can talk on the phone. I spoke with S, and she really did not mean anything bad. She said she was sorry you felt the way you did. She was just doing her job.  We did have bad some experiences with unsupervised evening visitors. We also recently had instances of people just coming in and roaming around..  So we have undertaken extra-precautions.  Our primary concern is residents’ safety. And that is why it is a  the front desk’s person job to make sure they know who people are visiting , where they are going and why.  That is why the volunteer hours are specifically agreed upon by both volunteers and myself,  so that I can tell the night staff that people are coming.. For instance, your first day here, I told everyone that you were coming and to expect you. Of course, mature and responsible volunteers like yourself can probably visit in the evenings on their own, but I, as a director, am responsible for where they are going, and if I am not here, then, it’s other staff members who need to keep track—again, it’s really all done for residents’ safety.  Also, in my experience, you are the first volunteer who wanted to put in extra time—which is wonderful and much appreciated, but unfortunately, it is not common. I have just undertaken the volunteer department last November, so it will take some time for people to get used to  and understand how to treat different volunteers who only want to visit out of goodness of their hearts. But again, in the evenings, we do have to be extra-careful-that is why all we ask to let us know ahead of time.. I would love to talk to you more on the phone to explain, — maybe next week?

What next?  I don’t know! I don’t feel like replying.  I don’t feel like wasting any more time and breath on this.  I just know that all this seems stupid, a waste of people’s time and effort on a problem that shouldn’t be a problem to begin with.  Everyone is so worried about making sure they are “doing their jobs” and covering their ass.  What about reason and common sense?

… perhaps I am extra sensitive now, perhaps in a few days I will have a different view.

to be continued …

Milton, my new friend!

16 Tuesday Jul 2013

Posted by in Daily Life, Volunteering

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I walk 10 blocks from my office to Grand Central Station. This is normally very fast paced without much attention paid to my surroundings.  Because of my hip injury I have been forced to slow down and as a consequence I am paying more attention to things and people along the way.

Last week as I walked up Madison Avenue, I noticed that there were 6 beggars (what is the correct word to use?) in those 10 blocks.  I was shocked and saddened.  Some of those faces I had seen before, but most were totally new.

What is their stories?  Where are  their families?  Are they mentally ill? sick? homeless?  Or do they have fully furnished apartments somewhere and just enjoy this lifestyle? I guess I would love to think that the answer is the latest, but it is unlikely.

I am ashamed to say that I am tempted not to walk on Madison Avenue anymore and just use Park Avenue.  One block away and there are no beggars.  The reason why I am tempted to avoid the beggars is because I am at a loss of what to do.  I have written about it before.  Do I give money, food, or do I just ignore them and go along with my life?

I think that what they need most is perhaps a friendly smile and conversation.  I decided to try to talk to the ones that seem receptive.  So far I have managed to speak to only one.  I am afraid of some of the others.  I think I have mentioned in a past post how, many years ago, I approached a man laying on the side walk to hand him a plate of food and he yelled at the top of his lungs for me to leave him alone.  Frankly it scared and scarred me!  At that moment I thought that perhaps is not my right to interfere with anyone’s life unless they asked me directly.

This is Milton.  He was pleasantly surprised when I asked to take a picture of him.  I explained it was for my blog.

Milton

Milton sits in a wheelchair at the entrance of a store that has been closed down.   I asked him where he sleeps and he said that when he gets enough money he sleeps in a hotel around the corner.  He said he worked in that hotel for many years before and they are nice to him.  He mentioned that the city of New York is lining up an apartment for him to move in in August.

I am curious about his situation, but I am not going to bombard him with too many questions at this point.  He said he came from Virginia with the dream of making it big in the city, but due to severe arthritis he has been wheelchair bound and unable to work. Do I complete believe that?  I don’t know,  but I decided it is not my right to question or judge him.  I think that is his truth and is that is good enough for me.

He is so friendly and warm, always with a smile on his face.  Today I asked him if he drinks. He said:  “I am not going to lie to you, I normally have a beer in the afternoon, but never this early” (it was 9 am).  I gave him a few dollars and asked that my money be used to buy food or clothing, but not to drink.  He said okay.

I approached him the first time because he seemed safe, non-threatening.  He was not talking to himself or yelling at the world. He didn’t smell of alcohol or drugs.  He was actually sleeping the first time I approached him, I had not realized that until I said hello and I startled him.  Even when startled he responded with a smile.

I may have approached him also perhaps because of the wheelchair. My father had to have one of his legs amputated, and every man I see in a wheelchair I imagine that man could be my father and I wish more than anything that people treat him as they would  treat any able-bodied man.  And because my father is elderly I wish that people also treat him with respect and kindness.

That is perhaps the reason that I try to be extra kind to elders.  Living so far from my parents, I figure the way I treat the older people I encounter gets translated into the way others treat my parents.  A Universe paying back type of thing.

Speaking of older people, once again I am encountering road blocks in my attempt to volunteer at a nursing home, similar to my attempt at the nursing home at the hospital.  I wonder if the road blocks are a sign saying this is not for me or perhaps it is to test my perseverance in wanting to help.

…but getting back to my original idea when I started writing this post.  Are there more beggars in NY city now? or perhaps I have only now started paying attention. Is this increase in beggars in  New York reflective of the economy? is money at the core? or perhaps drug and alcohol are the main culprits. Families not taking care of their own?  individuals giving up?  the mentally ill not having appropriate care?  not enough jobs, no access to education and healthcare…

At the end of the day, there is no escape, be it in NY or Sao Paulo there needs to be more done for this entire segment of the population.  The high taxes we pay need to go to the right areas.

and what am I doing? what should I be doing?

I am blessed and I know it (we are all blessed but some are blind to it)  While I plan skiing vacations, some don’t know where they will lay their head this very night.   While I sit at a fancy restaurant, some don’t know where their next meal is coming from.  While I cry about not having a boyfriend, some just wish for a friendly smile.

Today I asked Milton if he thought life was good.  He said: “yes, it is very good, thinking otherwise is not going to help”. I said to him: “If you don’t have everything you love , love everything you have”(not sure whose quote this is).  He thought that was the best thing he ever heard.  He said he is going to memorize it and remember it often. oh and he also said I looked so good today, he said I looked like I was going to a party with all my bling. I did dress up a little more than usual today and it is always nice to get a compliment! 🙂

I have a feeling I am going to miss Milton when he moves to his new apartment!

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Volunteer Efforts Update

23 Monday Apr 2012

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Unfortunately right now nothing is happening.

the “Friends of the Library” hasn’t called, despite the fact that I was told that the lady in charge desperately needs help.

The Medical Center needs me to get tested, but it is a 2 day process, and I feel that I already have taken 2 days off. One for the interview with the Volunteer Coordinator and the other to go get a physical. I wish they would work with me a little better.

So right now I am take a breath and rethinking everything.  I still want to volunteer, and I am still looking for opportunities, but I am not in the great hurry I was before. I am impulsive and tend not to think things through, so I am  trying to be less impulsive here.

The Medical Center said they really need volunteer like me during the week days, which for me doesn’t work, so she would have me helping out with the seniors living at the resident center on Wednesday because they can always use extra hands there.  But it didn’t sound like they really needed anyone.  Yes it was kind of disappointing.

Do you know of any volunteer opportunities for someone that works full time and can spare several hours in the evening and weekends?

Interview at the Hospital

14 Wednesday Mar 2012

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I am not sure how I feel about my interview to be a volunteer at the hospital.  While it was a pleasure meeting with the coordinator, it left me unsettled.

I guess I made the mistake of having expectations.  I wanted to hear that they had a perfect position for me and that I could start right away.  Instead I was told there is not a lot available on evenings and weekends, specially since she thought I was a people person and it was a shame to give me something such as stocking pharmacy shelves.

She said that there are some activities on Wednesday nights at the Senior Residence and I could help there.  But before I even start that I have to get a physical done, then get some shots done and then I have a book to read and a test to take. I am trying not to get discouraged and seeing those little road blocks as tests of my motivation. So I will follow through with what I need to get that.  No harm in getting a physical done anyway. I hope that I will be able to help more than 1/2 hours on Wednesday night.

Now finding a doctor to get a physical is another story… there are some doctors that want you to become a member of their practices, which mean paying an annual fee!!! Now have you heard about that before?  I don’t like that idea, so I am staying away from that doctor.

Strange day for me.  I don’t seem to have my emotions under control.  It is ironic, control is the key word. I need to stop trying to control everything.  I know better!  The more I try to control something the more it controls me.

Interview at the Medical Center for a volunteer job

12 Monday Mar 2012

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Volunteer job! Is that an oxymoron?

Anyway, I am so excited that I am going to be interviewing tomorrow with the volunteer coordinator! The only bad part is have to leave my job earlier to go, because they only interview until 3pm.  I have to leave a job that I get paid for to go interview for an unpaid job! Sounds weird, doesn’t it? I don’t feel guilt because I normally work after hours at home, so I don’t feel I am cheating my paying job.

I hope that they offer me something that I can really make a difference. I am not being picky, I will take whatever they have and I will do it with pleasure, just curious to see what they will be thinking for me!

Sitting here with a cold butt, icing my lower back.  Still disappointed that I overdid and now will probably not be able to do anything for awhile.

I just hope to be better in time for my trip on Tuesday, March 20th.  I am going to see my family in the other side of the equator.  I will be celebrating my birthday with my identical twin sister.  We will be 46!! Don’t even get me started on how I don’t want to get old and I don’t feel and don’t look my age.

Will come back tomorrow to report on my back, and most important on how my interview went!!! Fingers crossed!!!

Next step: Interview

10 Saturday Mar 2012

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So the hospital called me to schedule an interview to discuss volunteering opportunities.

The only problem is I have to leave work early to go to the interview.  The volunteer coordinator, the person that will interview me is only there Monday, Tuesday and Thursday from 10am to 3pm.

There is something that doesn’t feel right about that, but I decided to ignore little road blocks.  If that is what I need to do to volunteer so be it!

***

I went back to the Library to inquire why I hadn’t received a call back regarding my volunteering there.  Turns out the person responsible has been too busy to call me and that is why she needs me. hun? well, call me and you won;t be so busy anymore!

First Step in Volunteering and going back to dance

06 Tuesday Mar 2012

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Today I completed and mailed out the application to volunteer at the local hospital.  It feels great to be progressing on my desire to volunteer. The Volunteer Coordinator said this process may take from 2 to 6 weeks.

Once they have my application, they will review it and call me in for an interview to see if and where I fit.  She made it seem that volunteers are always wanted, so I am hopeful that soon I will be working there.

I thought that once I decided to volunteer it would be an easier process and I would be welcome with open arms, but that is not the case. The Friends of the Library coordinator hasn’t returned my call. And the United States Tennis Association website says that they are not accepting volunteers at this time.

I am trying to think of different organizations I could volunteer at. So I am hoping that if the hospital doesn’t work out I will have something else lined up.

The idea of volunteering started with my need to keep myself as busy as I can, so that I have no time to think about ex. At the same time I always believed in doing good and helping people as much as one can, I now wonder why it took me so long to get the wheels in motion.

***

By chance I have moved right across my dance studio,so tonight I went to visit the girls from my old class. I am tempted to go back to the dance class, and to the recital every June. I love dance, I am right across the street and it will keep me busy and active.  At the same time I really don’t have the talent, and I haven’t danced in 2 years. Need to think about it…

***

I miss the ex and the ex’s dog so much!!!