Category Archives: Daily Message

the dating continues…

04 Friday Sep 2020

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“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ― Carl Gustav Jung

Since G, the insecure personal trainer, has become history there has been a few guys that I had been speaking to and  2 that I met.  

I met F – The Widower.  We first started speaking 1 year ago on POF. He kept asking for additional pictures.  I felt I had plenty on my profile and refused to sent to him.  He kept insisting, I got annoyed and decided that I didn’t want to meet him at all.  After meeting again on Match I finally gave in and met him for a drink.  He drove 1 hour,  I took literally 30 steps to the Italian restaurant next to my apartment.  That was the extent of effort I was willing to put into this date and he knew it.

It was a friendly meeting.  He talked a lot about his late wife who died 10 years ago, and apparently became a saint.  No one can and wants to compete with a saint.  He wants to go out again. I am interested in friendship only.

“We have to recognise that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.” ― Cornel West

I met T – The Client.  We met on Match and realized that we were in the same industry and that he was actually a former customer.  Since he is no longer a customer I decided to meet up.

Since we were meeting at a Brazilian restaurant next door to my sister’s job on 46th Street in Manhattan my sister joined us half way through the date. It was a lot fun.  There was a lot laughing.

We had passion fruit and lime caipirinhas and had some yummy skirt steak with rice, beans and yucca fries. We also had cheese bread and some other appetizers. We took home chocolate and coconut fudge balls.  Those little desserts are so delicious!

Since I brought my sister along, I insisted on paying half. He didn’t want to agree but I beat him to the check and made sure to pay half.  He insisted on walking us to the train station.  We kept in touch and will meet again but I am not sure there were romance vibes for me.

“Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.” ― Oscar Wilde,  The Picture of Dorian Gray

I am currently talking to a few guys but 2 seem interesting enough to text/talk so I gave them my number:

M-the Neighbor.  We realized the we live just a couple of blocks away from each other.  The other day I waved to him when I was walking home from work.  He doesn’t know where exactly where I live.  We will be meeting one of these days.  So far we are having trouble coming up with a time.  It will probably happen some time next week.  We haven’t spoken a lot, mostly exchange a few texts here and there, but he seems like a good guy.

A-the Renter.  We have been speaking for 1 month.  He currently lives in California but is moving to Manhattan in the next few weeks.  I am calling him The Renter because 80% of our conversations are about the rental market in Manhattan.  He has been back and forth from CA but because of COVID quarantine requirements we haven’t met yet.

At this point it seems neither of us are in a hurry to meet.  I normally like to meet right away, the longer one talks without meeting there is the change of creating a false sense of intimacy and thinking there is more connection than there is. There is also a bigger potential for miscommunication.

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.” ― Dale Carnegie

A few days ago I detected a change.  A text went unanswered and later he said something about not feeling well and going to bed earlier.  A perfectly plausible excuse, but that is not what my gut is telling me.  The texting and calls decreased, and so did my interest.  But I still think we can meet and be friends.

I want to meet someone and be transformed.  Not because he is making me better, or I am making him better, but because we can no longer imagine a time when we weren’t in each other’s lives. I want the love that emboldens and strengthens us and make us want to conquer the world.  So I search and search…

“Even if you cannot change all the people around you, you can change the people you choose to be around. Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t respect, appreciate, and value you. Spend your life with people who make you smile, laugh, and feel loved.” ― Roy T. Bennett

 

More patience, less anger!

07 Friday Aug 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish… You see, it is difficult to get all which I want. And then when I do not succeed I get mad with anger.”― Simone de Beauvoir

I have been frustrated and angry.  Angry with people. Angry at the world. Angry at myself.  I wrote a post about it.  I took a break from it, came back and re-read it.  I wanted to throw up.

It was all about me wallowing in self pity.  It was this long list of complaints. I went on and on about people not being fair to me and the fact that I cannot do anything at the moment.  It was me being sad, angry and feeling powerless.  

“The best fighter is never angry.” – Lao Tzu

Since when did I become that person? I refuse to allow myself to be down in the dumps. I refuse to be angry without action.  Just being angry solves nothing, just eats me up inside.

Do I have a cause to be annoyed and complain?  Yes, I do.  But what will I accomplish if I let myself go down that rabbit hole called anger?  I fear never coming out of it. 

Whatever I am facing now I have to learn to live with it for the time being.  It is not the “punching it in the face” time yet.  Time and time again I am being taught patience and reminded that it is not my timing, but the divine timing. There is a right time for everything.

“Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he deserves it…Don’t allow his anger to become your anger.”― Bohdi Sanders

I will do now what I do best. I am going to count my blessings, of which I have so many.  I will start making a list, not of everything that is going wrong as I was doing before, but all that is going right.  Making a list of all my blessings helps put me in the right frame of mind.

It reminds me of how truly blessed I really am.

“Don’t waste your time in anger, regrets, worries, and grudges. Life is too short to be unhappy.”― Roy T. Bennett

As I deleted that post and embarked upon writing this one I received a message from my brother.  He is one of those people the you hate, but love, that will send you memes, jokes, prayers, songs, anything.  He sent me the video below. 

I thought the message couldn’t be more timely and appropriate for me: Let it be!

The problems, the anger, all the issues that are making me sad, sick, and keeping me awake at night I am going to just let it all be.  I am going to put it all aside until the right time to deal with it.  Chances are that they will resolve themselves before then.

I am not one to let problems sit still, but Kabbalah taught me that some of my actions are really overreactions and knee jerk responses that only bring about more pain and chaos.

I now try to let a problem be still and marinate before attacking it.  Taking that time beween problem and action helps me see things clear and deal with the problem with the right amount of attention and force.

“Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.”― Aristotle

Until I am ready to deal with the problem why should I let all that is annoying me and ailing me take away my sanity and energy?   I refuse to do it.

These times haves been a struggle for everyone.  It seems that there is one problem after another, but such is life – a succession of challenges. 

In my now deleted post I mentioned needing peace and wisdom.  We all do!  But what I sometimes fail to remember is that those are all within in me  They are my core.  I just have to connect to it. 

I will not find those outside. Peace is within me and happiness is a choice.  Those abstract concepts makes so much sense to me. That knowledge is both powerful and freeing. I can assert for sure that I am at peace and I am happy.  No matter what!

“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.”― Thich Nhat Hanh

oh, and about that list of everything that is going right in my life, it is just too long! It is becoming a very long list that deserves it’s own post but for starters:

  1. I am alive
  2. I am going away for the weekend

  • Wishing you a blessed weekend!

    • We are loved, we are love, so let’s act like it!

    01 Saturday Aug 2020

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    “The rain to the wind said,
    You push and I’ll pelt.’
    They so smote the garden bed
    That the flowers actually knelt,
    And lay lodged–though not dead.
    I know how the flowers felt.”
    ―     Robert Frost

    I saw these 4 lines below somewhere (I wish I remembered where so I could credit them). For some reason it stayed with me. I liked the simplicity of it.

    Que o vento leve,                                                                                                Que a chuva lave,                                                                                              Que a alma brilhe e                                                                                            Que o coraçao acalme.

    My attempt at translating it:

    May the wind take,                                                                                             May the rain wash,                                                                                             May the soul shine and                                                                                      May the heart be calm.

    “The breath of life is in the sunlight and the hand of life is in the wind.”― Kahlil Gibran

    Those 4 lines re-energizes me.  It gives me the idea of rebirth and the idea that we can always turn things around with just a change in attitude.  Fortunately,  often, all it takes is to stop, take a breath and make the decision to see things with new eyes.

    All of a sudden, a problem is not a problem, is an opportunity.

    “Not knowing when the dawn will come
    I open every door.”
    ― Emily Dickinson

    Let each gust of wind take away all that is bad and no longer useful. Let the wind bring you good energy and all that is useful for your improvement.  Invite the winds of change in.   Embrace it.

    Let the rain wash away your troubles and worries.  Be unburdened and light as a feather.

    “Inside us there is something that has no name, that something is what we are.” ― José Saramago

    Let your inner self shine through, and illuminate all those around you.  It is not only about you.  It is about everyone and everything you touch.  Let all interactions be positive and fruitful.  Be better and make others better.

    “When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”
    ― Rumi

    Let you heart be at peace.  Don’t burden it unnecessarily.  Give it space, listen to it and nurture it.  It will nurture you back!

    I hope everyone has a blessed weekend!

     

    You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up)

    Josh Groban
    Don’t give up
    It’s just the weight of the world
    When your heart’s heavy
    I, I will lift it for you
    Don’t give up
    Because you want to be heard
    If silence keeps you
    I, I will break it for you
    Everybody wants to be understood
    Well, I can hear you
    Everybody wants to be loved
    Don’t give up
    Because you are loved
    Don’t give up
    It’s just the hurt that you hide
    When you’re lost inside
    I, I’ll be there to find you
    Don’t give up
    Because you want to burn bright
    If darkness blinds you
    I, I will shine to guide you
    Everybody…

    Bad grammar? me? I?

    25 Saturday Jul 2020

    Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating

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    “The way to happiness: Keep your heart free from hate, your mind from worry. Live simply, expect little, give much. Scatter sunshine, forget self, think of others. Try this for a week and you will be surprised.”― Norman Vincent Peale

    I was unsure about G, but on Wednesday night he helped me make up my mind. 

    We were having dinner at Patsy’s Pizzeria. We had a nice table looking out to the marina.  Right at the start, before we had even ordered drinks, he said: “You are coming over to my apartment after”.

    I said: “What? No I am not!”

    We went back and forth like that for awhile.  I ultimately said that if he insisted I would call an Uber at the end of the evening.  He finally said: “ok, I know you asked me to slow down”.

    With that put to bed, no pun intended 😉 the conversation eventually made its way to work and finances.  At some point he said to me: “You make good money”.  I never told him how much I make so he was just assuming.  

    I replied: “Good is relative.  I probably should be making more for all that I do and the industry I am in, but I am not complaining.  I believe that, often, is not how much one makes but how much one spends.” 

    I have always lived below my means.  It affords me the peace of mind of having enough savings to deal with emergencies, such as my tenant not paying the rent for months as it is happening now.   

    I had started noticing by some of his comments on prior dates that he likes to compare the two of us.  He always seems to want to “one up” me in the financial area.  That is one game that he can play alone as I have no interest in competing with anyone in any area, specially financially.

    I think that he feels threatened by thinking that I am more successful than he is.  For the record, I never measure anyone in material terms.  I have noticed that he does.  He likes to say that he is making a lot money and that he drives a nice car and that his mortgage is paid up months ahead.  

    All of a sudden he turns to me and says: “I noticed that you make some English mistakes.  Can I correct you?’

    It came out of nowhere.  I said nothing for a few seconds while I tried to digest that statement and recover from the shock.  Eventually I said: “Do you mean my pronunciation or my grammar?” 

    He answered: “grammar”.  I expected him to say pronunciation. I will always have an accent.  At one point I was trying to get rid of it, but grew to accept it as just another thing that makes me special.

    I told him that I don’t mind being corrected and asked him to tell me what was the mistake I had just made.  He said he didn’t remember at the moment but there were several here and there.  I pressed him and he still couldn’t come up with anything.

    The issue for me is not if I make grammar mistakes or not.  You read my blog so you know I do make mistakes.  But who says that on a date with someone that they are supposedly trying to impress and get to know better?  I didn’t ask him for feedback on my English skills.  

    “Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. Make all your friends feel there is something special in them. Look at the sunny side of everything. Think only the best, be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. – Norman Vincent Peale

    I think that he only said that to make me feel self-conscious because English is not my first language.  Perhaps I am wrong, but I think he is intimidated by me.  I think his perception of my “success” hurts his ego.  

    Or perhaps he was hurt because I turned down his offer to go to his apartment.   While I have no issues going to his apartment just to have a drink and talk, I do know that he would be all over me and I would have to be fending off his advances the whole time.  There is nothing I hate more than feeling pressured to do something.  The more someone insists the more I don’t want to do it and will not do it. 

    I am fine being corrected by someone doing it with the right intention.  I welcome it. That is not what  I felt in his words.  His comment only served to annoy me and show me that he is not the person for me.

    While not wanting to go out with someone because they mention “grammar mistakes” seems petty and lame,  that is my reason.  I perceived his comment as a futile attempt to put me down and hurt my ego. I don’t want to be someone that would act in such a way.

    Perhaps I am being extra sensitive but I have my reasons. He reminded me of someone I dated many many years ago.  He would criticize everything I said, did, wore, etc.  While I was in the middle of it I didn’t see what he was doing.  I thought he was trying to make me a better person.  He was not.  I am glad that I finally wised up. 

    To this day when I look back I can’t believe I put up with any of that.  I will never again.  I want someone that will lift me up and not try to create insecurities where none exist.   

    For the unnecessary comment and the pressure to get more intimate G is history once again.  I should have left him where he belongs: in the past!

    Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give everyone a smile. Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others. Be too big for worry and too noble for anger.” ― Norman Vincent Peale

     

    It is now or never again

    25 Thursday Jun 2020

    Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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    “When one has once fully entered the realm of love, the world — no matter how imperfect — becomes rich and beautiful, it consists solely of opportunities for love.” ― Søren Kierkegaard

    I decided to get back on the horse. And by horse I mean online dating.  I just signed up for it again.  I felt that I was getting too complacent, too comfortable in my oneness.  It feels that if I don’t just do it right now I will never get back to it.

    Even though I always enjoyed speaking to new people and going on dates, lately every time I thought of joining I would think of it as a chore and would go off do something else.  So today I made a point of signing up before I gave up on it forever.  I am once again a member of Match.com.

    I have never given up on the idea of love.  I just have been passive about it.  Instead of actively looking for it, I was just sitting back and letting it find me. It didn’t!

    “It is impossible to exist without passion”― Søren Kierkegaard

    That approach, or should I say non-approach, wasn’t really working.  I am not a person that sits and waits.  I go out there and get the job done…or die trying.  I rather take the initiative, be aggressive and know that I am doing my part and having a hand in my destiny.

    The Bible says: God helps those that help themselves.

    Paulo Coelho says: When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

    Rumi says: what you seek is also seeking you.

    So I want God, Paulo Coelho, Rumi and the entire Universe to know that I am actively doing my part.  I want the Universe to know that I am still here and still wanting and still trying to find love.

    Winning or losing I want to feel that at least I am part of the game. I don’t want to be just a spectator.

    “Many of us pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that we hurry past it.”― Søren Kierkegaard

    I don’t need a man but I want one.  I miss the intimacy.  I miss the flirting.  I miss the idea of having common goals and working together to achieve them.  I want to believe that it will happen, actually I firmly believe that it will happen.  It is only a matter of time.  I can’t hurry love, as the song below says.

    I also have never given up on the idea of the fairy-tale. But my version of fairy tale doesn’t involve princes in shining armors and white horses, just has men that pays their bills on time and showers daily.  Is that too much to ask?

    I feared that if I waited any longer I would just give up the idea of online dating all-together.  I had fun before and I still believe in it.  Or perhaps I just want an excuse to get out of the house.

    Stay tuned for all the dating adventures to come.  Fingers crossed.

    “It’s quite an undertaking to start loving somebody. You have to have energy, generosity, blindness. There is even a moment right at the start where you have to jump across an abyss: if you think about it you don’t do it.”― Jean-Paul Sartre, Nausea

    50% damaged, but 100% blessed and amazing

    15 Monday Jun 2020

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    “Peace begins
    When expectation ends.”
    ― Sri Chinmoy, Perfection and Transcendence

    It is always the same story for me when it comes to doctor visits.  I am always so hopeful before I go, and then so disappointed in the end.   

    I expect to get answers and a proposed plan of action, but normally end up with just maybes. I expect validation of my feelings and symptoms, and end up feeling like it was all in my mind or the issue so minor that it was all a waste of time.  

    “He wondered, with some annoyance, whether he would finally learn what he wanted to know, or if he would have in the end to content himself with what he already knew. He felt that, at his age, patience was ceasing to be a virtue and was becoming a luxury he could less and less afford.”― Romain Gary,  The Roots of Heaven

    On Friday I went to an ENT to talk about my vertigo symptoms.  Conveniently for me there is one right in my office building. 

    I was given an hearing test and then saw the doctor.  According to the doctor I have some, very minor hearing loss on the right ear.  Nothing to worry about it and nothing to do about it, as there is no nerve damage. It is not related to the dizziness that I have been feeling either.

    I explained that even though I am still wobbly in the mornings I am 90% better by now.  Still I would like to discover the cause of it.  He said that this is the type of situation that is very hard to diagnose.  Guessing game here we go. 

    Last time I had vertigo, about a year ago, my primary doctor instructed me to take allergy pills.  According to him the cause is often nasal congestion, even though I didn’t feel congested at all and don’t fee it now.

    “The most exquisite pleasure in the practice of medicine comes from nudging a layman in the direction of terror, then bringing him back to safety again.”
    ― Kurt Vonnegut, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater

    This time I took allergy pills a couple of times and also motion sickness medication.  They seemed to help a little. 

    The doctor said he would try something.  He lowered the table while I sitting up straight, then he pushed me back really fast.  It was uncomfortable but okay.  Had that been done on prior days I would probably pass out from the dizziness.

    He said that because I had taken the medications they were probably suppressing the symptoms. I mentioned that I had only taken it a couple of times and the last time it was a day ago, but he said that still would interfere.    

    He asked me not to take any more medication and return in one week. I asked:  “Should I still come back if by then I have no more symptoms? The symptoms are almost all gone by now.”

    He said he still wants to see me anyway.  I said okay, but now that I think about it, what is the point? I am not sure I will go back if there aren’t any symptoms.  I don’t see the point.

    “The doctor arrived towards dinnertime and said, of course, that although recurring phenomena might well elicit apprehension, nonetheless there was, strictly speaking, no positive indication, yet since neither was there any contraindication, it might, on the one hand, be supposed, but on the other hand it might also be supposed. And it was therefore necessary to stay in bed, and although I don’t like prescribing, nevertheless take this and stay in bed.”― Leo Tolstoy,  The Devil

    Today, Sunday, I feel 95% better. We shall see how I feel by Friday when I have the follow up appointment.

    I understand that I am not being  realistic in my expectations every time I see a doctor.  He is only human and not a miracle worker.

    Moving on from this topic, I have one curiosity.  Is everyone more prone to have physical issues on one side of their body versus the other? All my problems are on my right side.  Is that because I am right handed and perhaps use and overuse more my right side?

    These are my issues:

    • Right wrist.  I was developing carpal tunnel on my right wrist.  I now use the mouse on the left hand and all is fine.
    • Right hip. I have bursitis, arthritis and a tiny tear on my right hip.  I got used to living with the pain.
    • Right clavicle.  I have Thoracic Outlet Syndrome (TOS) on my right clavicle.
    • Right eye.  Every now and then I have a sharp pain in the back of the right eye accompanied with some redness. I have a check up every year by a specialist and he says it is nothing.
    • Right ear.  And now I have been told that I have a minor hearing loss on the right ear.

    Is there a spiritual meaning to that? I think there is a spiritual meaning to everything, so perhaps someone can enlighten me.  Why is my right side crying for attention and help?

    “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” -― Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

    Gosh, I made myself sound so physically damaged 😦 Still I feel like I am only 25 years old.  That is, when the room is not spinning.

     

     

     

    Wobbling my way through the day

    09 Tuesday Jun 2020

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    Pachira Aquatica (money tree)-legend has it that it brings wealth. I bought for the new office.

    “The most poetical thing in the world is not being sick.”
    ―     G.K. Chesterton, The Man Who Was Thursday: A Nightmare

    Thank you everyone for the get-well-soon wishes.  I am feeling much better now.  I still wake up wobbly.  It takes awhile to get going, but by the afternoon I am feeling more steady on my feet.

    On the day when this vertigo crisis started I woke up with a long list of things to do.  Most of it had to do with getting my new office up and running.

    All of a sudden, all the deadlines, the reports I had to hand in, the calls I had to make, all the deliveries I had to meet, it all took a back seat to me just being able to stand up.

    In the afternoon I walked to the office, with some steps wobblier than others.  Next time I see people not steady on their feet I will never again assume that they are drunk or on drugs.  They could be afflicted with vertigo, like me, or some other condition that affects their balance.

    “You need to spend time crawling alone through shadows to truly appreciate what it is to stand in the sun.” – Shaun Hick

    Not feeling well puts everything in perspective.

    Humbling. Getting sick and not feeling well is humbling.  The world hasn’t stopped.  All is moving as it should. I am meaningless.  It does show me that the world doesn’t revolve around me. I am no longer the one that can get it all done.

    How can I continue to be wonder woman if I can’t even stand up and walk straight?

    Vulnerable. I am not invincible.  No one is. Having my body not respond as I want and expect is scary. Is wobbly my new normal? Feeling ill makes me look at being healthy in a different light. Being healthy is a necessity, not a luxury.

    Liberating. All of a sudden I am free from all that NEEDED to be done and all I WANTED to get done.  There is nothing more important in the world then getting well and feeling better.  All rest will have to wait.

    Control and Acceptance. Feeling ill reinforces the idea that I, as a human being, am not in control of anything.  The only thing that I can possibly try to control is my actions and reactions.  I accept my powerlessness at this moment.  I accept I am not 100%.

    Reflection. Feeling ill and unable to do anything other than just lay there looking up at the ceiling is the perfect time for reflection. To reflect about the world and my role in it. To reflect about the lessons, as I am sure there are many being taught me now.  I can’t miss them.

    Planning. It is also a perfect time for planning.  Because, of course, any time I don’t feel well, the first thing I dream of doing when I am better is conquering the world. Don’t you? I have this overwhelming feeling that I wasted precious healthy time.  That I didn’t do enough or as much as I should have. Therefore it gives me a renewed sense of purpose and urgency.

    Gratitude.  Waking up every morning is a blessing and waking up healthier is even more so.  Not only the next day is not a guarantee, that we will be feeling well the next day is a gamble also.  I am being taught to appreciate every single moment and get busy living and doing all I can while I can.

    I am grateful for the vertigo for slowing me down for awhile so I can come back with a faster gear and new resolve.

    “I didn’t expect to recover from my second operation but since I did, I consider that I’m living on borrowed time. Every day that dawns is a gift to me and I take it in that way. I accept it gratefully without looking beyond it. I completely forget my physical suffering and all the unpleasantness of my present condition and I think only of the joy of seeing the sun rise once more and of being able to work a little bit, even under difficult conditions.”
    ―     Henri Matisse

    May we all get better in body, mind and soul

    05 Friday Jun 2020

    Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message

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    For the last couple of days I have been suffering with vertigo, so all has taken a back seat until I feel steady on my feet again.  What was urgent now has to wait.

    May you and your loved ones all find peace and joy this weekend! Blessings ♥♥

    I found this prayer and wanted to share:

    “May all beings everywhere
    Plagued by sufferings of body and mind
    Obtain an ocean of happiness and joy
    By virtue of my merits.

    May no living creature suffer,
    Commit evil, or ever fall ill.
    May no one be afraid or belittled,
    With a mind weighed down by depression.

    May the blind see forms
    And the deaf hear sounds,
    May those whose bodies are worn with toil
    Be restored on finding repose.

    May the naked find clothing,
    The hungry find food;
    May the thirsty find water
    And delicious drinks.

    May the poor find wealth,
    Those weak with sorrow find joy;
    May the forlorn find hope,
    Constant happiness, and prosperity.

    May there be timely rains
    And bountiful harvests;
    May all medicines be effective
    And wholesome prayers bear fruit.

    May all who are sick and ill
    Quickly be freed from their ailments.
    Whatever diseases there are in the world,
    May they never occur again.

    May the frightened cease to be afraid
    And those bound be freed;
    May the powerless find power,
    And may people think of benefiting each other.

    For as long as space remains,
    For as long as sentient beings remain,
    Until then may I too remain
    To dispel the miseries of the world.”

    -Dalai Lama, Prayer from Shantideva’s Way of the Bodhisattva

     

    Love is the answer to every question

    03 Wednesday Jun 2020

    Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message

    ≈ 23 Comments

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    I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.- Martin Luther King Jr.

    Everyone is hurting.  Can we just stop this hurting and chaos?  Destruction and violence is never justifiable in my opinion.  What happened to respect? We are destroying each other.  We are destroying Mother Earth and everything in it.

    Is this the kind of world that we want to leave behind?  Is this the legacy we want to leave our children?

    Why is all this going on? Is it because some people think that their color, their race, their gender, their religion, their possessions are superior than that of his/her neighbor? And because of that they think they have more rights and less obligations?

    Anytime you think you are better than somebody else you lose.  As Teddy Roosevelt said “Comparison is the killer of joy.” 

    No one has more rights then his/her neighbor.  We all have the right to breathe and enjoy life free of persecution and fear.  We have the obligation to not interfere with somebody else’s right to live free.

    “Judgment…is one of the ego’s tools to foster separation through comparison.”― Peter Santos

    We are all travelers in this road called life.  Everyone is fighting some kind of battle.  Let’s not be judge and jury and guardians of the truth.  Let’s be messengers of peace, delivery people of goodness and love.

    When I think about the meaning of life I think of it very simply.  I think of making someone smile.  I think of helping others.  I think of making memories.  There is no room in any of that for hate and violence.

    “That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach.”― Aldous Huxley

    What about the COVID19? I thought it had come about to teach us the huge lesson that we are all the same. The virus didn’t discriminate.  We were, and still are, forced to be apart…everyone starving for a hug from a loved one.

    What about the big plans we had of being kinder to each other? Did we already forget?

    It all starts right here with each one of us.  It starts at home and how we raise our children and how we treat our neighbors. Will we ever learn that we need to embrace and protect each other?  that we need to embrace and protect our families and communities?  We all just hunger to feel safe and protected.

    “The ache for home lives in all of us. The safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned.”― Maya Angelou

    Let’s stop this craziness!  Let’s stop the stupidity! Choose love now and always! It shouldn’t be that hard.

    It feels silly writing about something that should be so obvious:  Let’s all follow The Golden Rule.  Let’s treat each other as we want to be treated.  Let’s treat each other’s property as if it were our own.

    Stop promoting violence in name of justice. Looting and riots have no place in the fight for equality. It only hurts, destroys and spreads fear.

    Let’s treat Mother Earth as if it was our home and every human being as if he was my brother and sister!  oh wait, it is, and they are!

    “Dare to Be

    When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully.

    When there is darkness, dare to be the first to shine a light.

    When there is injustice, dare to be the first to condemn it.

    When something seems difficult, dare to do it anyway.

    When life seems to beat you down, dare to fight back.

    When there seems to be no hope, dare to find some.

    When you’re feeling tired, dare to keep going.

    When times are tough, dare to be tougher.

    When love hurts you, dare to love again.

    When someone is hurting, dare to help them heal.

    When another is lost, dare to help them find the way.

    When a friend falls, dare to be the first to extend a hand.

    When you cross paths with another, dare to make them smile.

    When you feel great, dare to help someone else feel great too.

    When the day has ended, dare to feel as you’ve done your best.

    Dare to be the best you can –

    At all times, Dare to be!”
    ― Steve Maraboli

    My brother is your brother

    31 Sunday May 2020

    Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

    ≈ 19 Comments

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    “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”― Nelson Mandela

    I hurt for George Floyd’s family.  May his soul rest in peace, and may God comfort his family.

    I am at a loss for words, and I am sure I am not the only one.  My heart and soul hurts.  Why can’t we all just live in peace? Yes, I know that it is naive of me, but I dare to still dream.

    Discrimination and prejudice is alive and well in the US, as well as in Brazil.  Instead of progress in the race for equality it seems we have taken huge leaps backwards.  Specially now that we have presidents that made it okay to be racist and to discriminate.  I say presidents because our Brazilian president, Bolsonaro, is just the tropical version of Trump. 

    I don’t want to assign blame and point fingers, but I think I am entitled to have expectations of the president of a country.  I expect a president to lead the country in unity.  I expect him to lead by example in treating everyone the same.  I expect him to quickly condemn racism and mistreatment of the minorities. 

    “I am not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.”― Nelson Mandela

    That is not what is happening. Instead both presidents seems to condone violence and discrimination.  Trump,  from the beginning with all the talk about the Mexican Border Wall has preached separation and discrimination.  I expect presidents to build bridges and to bridge gaps, and not to build walls and applaud division.

    Trump made it okay for the racists to come out in the open. It seems that now they can hate and discriminate out in the open.  I feel he gave the green light to hate and to attack.

    I am hurting for 2 countries that I love.  I am hurting for my brother and sister that because of their skin color live in fear.  I am hurting for those that have no voice because of their social standing and social economic condition.  I am hurting for the ones not free to express their religion or sexual orientation.

    I am hurting for the black mother that sees their child go out of the door and can only pray that they will return safely home.

    I pray.  I pray for awareness.  I pray for each person to look inwards and start spreading love. I pray for peace and miracles.

    “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”― Nelson Mandela

    No matter your belief or where you stand, you cannot deny that George Floyd’s death was was murder.  His life was completely disregarded by the one’s tasked with defending and protecting life. It didn’t need to happen.  It could have been easily avoided. And he is not the only one to die in such a senseless manner.  He is only the last one.  

    We need the police.  I am grateful for the officers that every single day risk their lives to protect me.  But there is huge problem that needs to be addressed.  Not everyone is qualified to perform that job.  They need to be better trained.  Complaints of brutalities need to be taken seriously.  The good officers need to have a safe environment to speak up against the bad ones. 

    What can I do?  I will continue doing what I have always been doing.  I will continue treating everyone the same.  I will continue donating money to causes that I think are important, specially focusing in education, children and the elderly.  I will continue listening when my brother/sister speak.

    “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”-Nelson Mandela

    So many tragedies.  Still, I dare to be positive.  I dare to look for blessings.  I dare to expect miracles. I dare to see angels. I dare to still be happy.  I dare to search for the meaning and the lessons.

    I stand with goodness.  I stand with God.  I stand with following the law. I am against using violence to protest violence. Please if you are marching to protest be careful, and do so peacefully.  Tearing down our neighbors property, and causing injure to others is not the answer.

    I don’t have any answers.  I have prayers and love and I will continue to spread those.

    “I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”― Nelson Mandela