anticipation, blessings, Dating, expectations, gentleman, inspiration, life lessons, optimism, relationships, Shift in attitude, sweet tooth, the Universe, vegetarian
* “The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ― Steve Maraboli
What I love most about life is the fact that the future is such a mysterious gift. I continue to try to work hard, be positive, humble, grateful, pro-active and most important, to be present in the moment. I believe that if I continue to do my part the Universe will continue to bless me with miraculous rewards.
One of the most important lessons I have learned is that there is nothing to gain for beating myself up when I make a mistake. A mistake happens, I ponder about what I could have done different, how I will handle the same situation in the future, but most important, I try to find the lesson in the mistake so I don’t repeat it again. In my last post I spoke about the mistake of having sex with AL.
That single mistake/lesson has been a major turning point for me. It made me realize what I really want in life as far as romantic relationships and sex. For me platonic friends and sex is not a good combination. AL and I continue to text and be friends. I continue to regard him as a great friend and as someone I can count on. I take full responsibility for that mistake and I am grateful for the part he played in helping me learn the lessons I needed to learn.
* “We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.”
The Universe has an incredible/impeccable timing. Two nights after I was with AL I went on a date with someone new. I met this guy on POF (Plenty of Fish). I will call him AS.
I decided to have a new attitude in dating now. I will have no expectations and be open minded to everyone I meet. I will give everyone a fair chance and will try to be in the moment and already foresee the future. I never expected that as soon as I decided to make a mental shift that I would meet someone special.
* “Your greatest self has been waiting your whole life; don’t make it wait any longer.”
I met AS at an Italian Restaurant and we decided to walk to a Vegetarian Restaurant that his sister had just visited and recommended. The food was good, but the company and conversation was exceptional. There was no lull in the conversation. He talks about the same books I have read (or meant to read :-). He talks about Ho’oponopono (an ancient Hawaiian practice) and his experience with Shamans (spiritual healers), among many other things that not everyone is familiar with but I happen to know about it and believe in. We are in awe of the so many things we have in common. Our outlook in so similar, we both feel blessed and believe that the Universe conspires to bring us what we need and what we emanate. We believe in being humble and grateful. It feels good to talk about the things I believe in without thinking I am going to scare him or weird him out. He also loves to travel and wants to see the world – another important connection for me.
After dinner he walked me home. In the lobby of my building he took my face in his hands, gave me a sweet peck on the lips and said he would like to see me again. That was Wednesday night. The next day he texted and asked me out to brunch on Sunday.
It was very hard for me to keep my excitement down. Will a second date be equally as nice as the first or will all fall apart?
All the guys I meet end up living very far, but in this case even the logistics are perfect. He lives 10 blocks away from where I live. He also works 10 blocks away from my work.
The second date was even better. We sat and talked for 3 hours. He had to go meet friends so eventually we had to leave. Even though I live only 2 blocks away from the restaurant he said he would drive me home -I think we both wanted to spend as much time as we could together. As we are walking to his car he asked if he could hold my hand. I said yes. If this was any other guy I would find this request extremely corny, but with him it seemed gentle, cute and respectful.
He parked in front of my building and as I am getting ready to leap out, he said: “Hold on, let me walk you to your door” …another gentlemanly moment that makes me feel special. At my door he says good bye with a sweet peck on my lips again as in the first date. It is amazing how sometimes times tiny gestures have a huge impact!
* “There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a person being themselves. Imagine going through your day being unapologetically you.”
I love that he seems so secure and so unhurried about things. He was not all over me even though the chemistry and sexual tension is there. It is as if he knows that something will happen but he realizes that waiting and taking it slow can only make it better.
He inspired me to get moving on my goals in life and to get back to reading all the personal growth and spiritual books I have on my bookshelf that I never seem able to finish. He pursues education and self improvement with a determination I have never seen before. Being inspired by my partner to become a better person is one of the ideas I have for the right person for me. Please don’t confuse my thinking he is perfect for me with thinking that is he is perfect. No one is! I also think that he could also learn from me. I think I can have him laughing more, relaxing more.
* “If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly.”
As expected I have been floating on this cloud of anticipation of what it is to come (being careful not to miss the present moment). I think anticipation is okay but expectations are bad! Still I am trying to keep all the excitement in check as there are always all kinds of impediments in new relationships. After all we only had 3 dates and don’t really know each other.
The third date was on Thursday night. We had decided to play ping pong since I said that I probably could beat him at that. But I will save the details of the third for the next post in the next day or so. I feel the third date deserves its own post, as insecurities, fears and self sabotage already started rearing their ugly heads. He was away this weekend to be in wedding returning on this coming Thursday. So I had/have plenty of time to dissect and analyze every second of this third date and all I have done wrong…yes my impatience and impulsiveness got the best of me. Dating as an Aries is tough!
* “Do not sabotage your new relationship with your last relationship’s poison.”
What I will say for now is that it seems I met my match. My heart is singing with the melody of possibilities.
So that things don’t seem just absolutely perfect I will venture some differences between him and I: Due to his profession he is very conscious about eating, health and the world. He is a vegetarian that tries to stay away from sugar and other ingredients deemed unhealthy. He is extremely book smart, serious, focused and driven. I am a street smart, sarcastic girl that loves a good bacon cheese burger and rewards herself with sweets. I am totally unfocused with a wandering mind that lack clear goals. Will our optimism and eternally blessed attitude be enough to bridge this gap?
* “Stop trying to ‘fix’ yourself; you’re NOT broken! You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.”
* All quotes are by Steve Maraboli. He is so inspiring!