Category Archives: Dating

Old-fashioned much?

26 Wednesday Jan 2022

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“Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

I finally met J. for a 4th date.   I was hoping that I would feel differently seeing him again, but I feel the same way.  Not too much excitement.  He is a great guy but the little chemistry that seemed to be there is gone.  

The absence didn’t make the heart grow fonder.  It made it grow indifferent.

I was honest with him, that I was feeling overwhelmed and pressured by all his attention, texting and calling.  It felt too much, too soon.  I felt he was in love with the idea of me and a relationship.

He mentioned that when I had Covid he wanted to send me flowers but didn’t have my apartment number.  I said I was glad that he didn’t, it would have been nice, but way too much too soon. He said that even if we were just friends he would still send me flowers if I was sick.  I doubt that.

On the first date he had mentioned that he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was overdoing with the texting and sending pictures daily.  I pointed out now that he was doing the same thing to me.  He said he understood.  He said he was okay with just being friends.

“I can officially confirm that the way to a man’s heart these days is not through beauty, food, sex, or alluringness of character, but merely the ability to seem not very interested in him.” ― Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones’s Diary

His birthday was on the beginning of January, so before we ordered our drinks and meals I mentioned that I was going to treat him for his birthday.  He didn’t want to accept, but finally agreed.

We always talk a lot, with some agreeing and disagreeing about different topics.  At one point he asked me what I wanted for my future, how I saw my future.

I answered that I wasn’t sure and didn’t really have my future/retirement planned out.  Then, I added that it would be perfect to have an apartment in Manhattan, one in Paris, a chalet on a skiing mountain and, for good measure, a beach house. 

He said: “Good luck with finding a man to give you that!”

I was taken aback, and honestly shocked and disappointed with his comment. It stopped me on my tracks.  I said to him:

“What? Why can I achieve that and more on my own?  You didn’t ask me what I was looking for in a man, or for a man to give me.  

He said that he was sorry, that he was joking.  But the damage was done.  Is that really what he thinks of me, and women? 

This clearly illustrates that he has no idea of who I am.  No one that knows me, would ever say that, even joking. We other points where we disagreed, and again he said he was joking.

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
― Henry Winkler

As I mentioned here, I don’t ever want to pay on the first date (I have at times when I knew I was never going to see the guy again and felt sorry he had overspent).  As a rule, I don’t care if it is a cup of coffee, I want to be treated on the first date.  On other dates, I don’t have a problem splitting the bill, or taking turns paying, like I do with my friends. 

With J., it has been no different.  After the first date, I offered to split the bill or treat him.  He always said no, and added that he would never have me pay.  Still, I have tried.  

If I wanted a guy to give me material things, I would have stayed with some of the rich guys I have met in the past, chemistry or not.  But that is not what I look for.  

What I want most is summed up by Steve Maraboli:

“I want love, passion, honesty, and companionship… sex that

drives me crazy and conversation that drives me sane.”

Financially speaking, I don’t care what a man does for a living as long as it is honest, and hopefully it is something he is not miserable doing.   

He doesn’t need to be rich, all he needs is to be able to support himself.  I have no interest in doing that.

I don’t need or want a man to support me either.  I have been doing that very well since I was 17 years old, and I plan on continuing to do so.

Who knows, maybe I will have the apartment in Manhattan and in France, the house in the mountains and the house on the beach.  Achieving it all, all by myself! 😉

The next morning he sends me a picture. I guess he didn’t get it.

“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.” ― Lady Gaga

What is less than a break up, but still a break up?

14 Friday Jan 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Like some wines our love could neither mature nor travel.”
― Graham Greene, The Comedians

After 3 dates I had to cancel the 4th because of Covid.  He wanted to meet up last week, but I was still not 100% and decided to wait.  Then the following day he said he didn’t wake up feeling well.  He hasn’t been well ever since.  Yesterday, 7 days later, he finally took a home test and it was positive.

I don’t know when I will see him next.  The sad part is that I don’t care.  In the beginning of this potential relationship, I should be looking forward to seeing him, to talking on the phone, etc; and I am not. 

I feel overwhelmed by his attention, by the daily texting and wanting to talk on the phone.  He is kind, considerate, smart, such a great person.  But it all feels a bit too much to me. I feel drained at times.

“I felt as if each person within visual range were slowly draining the life from me. We were all connected, and the more them there were, the more I wanted to crawl under a table and cry.” ― Shaun David Hutchinson, We Are the Ants

He doesn’t know me yet. It feels like his excitement is not really about me, but the idea of me, the idea of a relationship.  If it really is about me, then he is definitely more into me, than I am into him. 

From the beginning I didn’t feel a lot chemistry, but I sensed potential.  I figured we would go on a few more dates and let things flow.  Instead, it feels I must make a decision now, otherwise I may be leading him on.

I didn’t want to have this conversation over the phone or on text, but I don’t feel I can wait anymore. I have mentioned to him before, how I feel pressured if it is too much too soon, but I don’t think he really understood.

It feels like a breakup, but when is a break up a break up?  We had 3 dates. I feel he tried to speed things up, and covid put a wrench on things, but I don’t feel we were a relationship yet.  

I think this is the case that if we were right for each other I would just welcome the attention and not feel pressured.  With the right person everything feels right.  

“I’ll tell you something, Harpy,” he said, his voice almost a whisper now. “It never even occurred to me that we wouldn’t make it. And it never occurred to you that we would. You were just waiting for us to go down in flames. I thought we could get through anything.” ― Kristan Higgins, My One and Only

He came with gifts

25 Saturday Dec 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Do you want a good advice on your path? Here it is: Don’t be sure of your path! Don’t ever be sure of it! Do you want more advice? Here it is: Doubt your path! And examine the other paths, know the other paths!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan

He didn’t disappear or ghosted.  I didn’t cancel or run away.  I made it to the elusive third date.

Because of timing, I had to decide on dinner or movie.  I didn’t want to do both, I thought it would be too long.  I chose movie.  I have been eating too much and with more big meals to come, I figure I would just go with popcorn.

“Doubt everything. Find your own light.”
― Gautama Buddha, Sayings Of Buddha

We saw West Side Story.  Again, I was expecting more. Some people I know that had seen it, said they cried.  I didn’t.  I was more annoyed at the lack of common sense, but the movie rings true even nowadays, or perhaps even more so.  And in that sense it is sad.  We, as humanity haven’t evolved, we are becoming worst to each other.

At the end of the movie we walked back to my building, where he had left his car.  He wanted me to walk to his car. I said I was not going.  He insisted.  I said ok but I am not getting in.  He said you don’t have to.

“The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.” ― Bertrand Russell

Turns out he wanted to pick up Christmas gifts that he brought, not only for me but also for my sister.  I was shocked and embarrassed.  He said it is just something simple. I hope so.  I got him nothing, but ordered a book now.

He also brought my sister, white pine needles for her to make tea. Apparently it has many benefits, including improving the immune system.

He texted now asking me out for Sunday.  He wants to meet during the day, has a couple of fun ideas.

“Expressing doubt is how we begin a journey to discover essential truths.” ― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

I meet a guy that seems perfect. He is a gentleman, spiritual, handsome, interested in self growth, funny, family oriented, plan dates, open car doors, pays for everything, etc, etc.  So why am I hesitating?  Why am I so unsure?

His only apparent flaw as of now:  liking me too much!!

Since I didn’t post this yet, and it is now Christmas morning and we have already opened our gifts, here is what he got for us:

My sister got a beautiful candle above and I got an assortment of bath salts, mango scented scrub and a special Greek oil.  Plus chocolate.  He tried to hit all my favorites.

“In these times I don’t, in a manner of speaking, know what I want; perhaps I don’t want what I know and want what I don’t know.” ― Marsilio Ficino, The Letters of Marsilio Ficino, Vol. 3

I hope you guys are having a beautiful, peaceful and joyous Christmas!  Blessings to us All! 

He came with pink flowers

22 Wednesday Dec 2021

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I forgot to mention on my last post that J. brought me flowers on the second date.

My nails had pink polish on the first date, and he complimented them.  I mentioned liking pink nail polish and he assumed I liked all things pink. 

So he chose pink flowers. I appreciated the gesture. It is always special to receive flowers, no matter what color.

We are going on the 3rd date tonight.  We haven’t decided where to go yet, as I am not sure what time I will be able to leave work.  He mentioned dinner and a movie again, but I think it will be too much since I have to be up very early tomorrow.

He reaches out every day, and continues to say all the right things.  I am still skeptical, but I plan on:

  • Proceed with caution, but not forget to enjoy the moment  
  • Speak up – Say what I need and want. Don’t expect him to read my mind.
  • Ask questions  – when is doubt, ask.  If something is bothering, talk about it
  • Keep fear and doubts at bay – Not let the fear of getting hurt sabotage a potential good thing.  Acknowledge the fear, but not let it paralyze me. 
  • Not look at everything as a red flag.  Don’t assume the worst.  Look and assess the evidence.
  • Listen to my instincts – they are very good at guiding me.

“THE WEATHER OF LOVE

Love
Has a way of wilting
Or blossoming
At the strangest,
Most unpredictable hour.
This is how love is,
An uncontrollable beast
In the form of a flower.
The sun does not always shine on it.
Nor does the rain always pour on it
Nor should it always get beaten by a storm.
Love does not always emit the sweetest scents,
And sometimes it can sting with its thorns.
Water it.
Give it plenty of sunlight.
Nurture it,
And the flower of love will
Outlive you.
Neglect it or keep dissecting it,
And its petals will quickly curl up and die.
This is how love is,
Perfection is a delusional vision.
So love the person who loves you
Unconditionally,
And abandon the one
Who only loves you
Under favorable
Conditions.”
― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

Two dates in two days, with the same person. And he didn’t disappear yet.

20 Monday Dec 2021

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“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” ― Shel Silverstein

 J is 56, smart, successful and funny. A gentleman in every way.

First date: Friday, December 17. Location: Kouzina Taverna in Stamford, CT.
To drink I had the Santorini Spritz: Ramazotti Blood Orange & Hibiscus Aperivo, Absolut Grapefruit Flavored Vodka, La Marca Prosecco. It was delicious. He had diet coke.

We shared the fried cheese and the zucchini/Feta balls for appetizers. For entrees, he had the octopus and I had moussaka. For dessert I had chocolate mousse cake.  Everything was really delicious!

I got there a few minutes before he did. I was blessed with a parking spot right in front of the restaurant. Yes, in these parts finding a parking space is something to be happy about. He came in a few minutes later, thinking, that because I am Brazilian, I was going to be late. That should teach him not to assume things.

We had a great time from the start. Our conversation ran the gamut from our families and childhood to the politics and the state of the world. We respectfully disagreed on a couple of things. 

After a 3 hour dinner, we took a walk around the block. He asked me out for the next evening. I said yes.

“If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating, as possibility!” ― Søren Kierkegaard, Either/Or: A Fragment of Life

Second date: Saturday, December 18. Location: Alvin and Friends, New Rochelle, NY.

For appetizer we had cod fritters and corn bread. Then I had the ribs with macaroni and cheese, and he had oxtail with rice. We had no dessert, as we were running late to catch a movie.

Again, similar to the evening before, there was no awkward moment or lack of conversation. He asked the waiter to take our picture. I was okay with it and the picture came out great.

After dinner, we walked to the movie theater. We saw House of Gucci. I was not bored. It was entertaining, but I expected so much more from the story.

After dinner he dropped me off at my door.  There was a couple of kisses good bye.  He asked me out for this Wednesday night. I said yes today.  We just have to decide where and what time.

He has been the perfect gentleman. If there is anything that gives me pause is the fact that he seems to like me a lot from the start.   He keeps saying how great I am.  I asked him to slow down. I said: “I am even more amazing than you think, but you don’t know that yet”.  Yes, I am my biggest fan lol

In all seriousness, I asked him to slow down, so we get to know each other. Chances are that what he calls adorable, will annoy him in a few more dates. Perhaps he will disappear. Or I will disappear. 

I will talk to him again. If he doesn’t slow down, I will run.  I know myself, I can’t feel pressured.  I am always leery of someone liking me so much right away.

“Don’t be afraid to be confused. Try to remain permanently confused. Anything is possible. Stay open, forever, so open it hurts, and then open up some more, until the day you die, world without end, amen.” ― George Saunders, The Braindead Megaphone

No harm, no foul!

13 Monday Dec 2021

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“Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision.”  ― Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving

The second date with the finance guy never happened.  He texted me on Friday to cancel, saying he had to drive his elderly father somewhere. 

I suspected it was an excuse, and I felt fine about it.  We had a couple of more texts that day.  This morning I realized he never texted again.  Then I noticed that he had closed his account on Bumble. 

Even though I am fine with it, as we didn’t really have much chemistry, I am still disappointed that he made an excuse to cancel the date instead of just telling me he was no longer interested. 

I texted him, not mentioning I had seen he was no longer on Bumble.

Now I have closure! lol, who needs closure after 1 date?  I do!  

I wished him luck, and I mean it.  He is a good guy, very busy with a test that he needs to take, and we are not a match.  Life goes on. NEXT!!

“Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right.” ― Phillip C. McGraw

 

All indications are good, but it is too early to tell

10 Friday Dec 2021

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“I’m not sure of anything,” she said. “Which is almost wonderful.”
― Peter Heller, Celine

Date: Tuesday, Dec 7, 21
Location: Scalini Restaurant, Bronxville, NY

He is 55 years old, divorced with no kids. Works in the Finance industry.

I arrived at 7:05 pm and he was sitting at the bar waiting for me.  He came and met me at the door and we hugged hello.

He had a gray sweater with a shirt underneath and, oh gosh, I realized that I don’t know what type of pants and shoes he had on.  That is one of my flaws.  I don’t pay attention.  I know how someone made me feel but I don’t know what they were wearing.  Another item for my list of things to work on.

The waiter showed us to our table. Everything went smoothly from the start, with no awkward moments. We were talking so much, and not looking at the menu.  The waiter had to keep returning to our table to see if we were ready to order.

He liked that I mentioned we should share the appetizer, as he likes to share food.  Awesome, as I do too!  

Appetizer was spicy meatballs with roasted peppers and it was delicious.  For the entrée, I had salmon with artichoke and leak quinoa.  The quinoa seemed to have been fried or sautéed and I loved it!  He had the bucatini and it was also very tasty.

For dessert we shared an Almond tiramisu.  It was good, but not as good as the original tiramisu.

“In these times I don’t, in a manner of speaking, know what I want; perhaps I don’t want what I know and want what I don’t know.” ― Marsilio Ficino, The Letters of Marsilio Ficino, Vol. 3

The conversation flowed. We talked about a lot different topics.  He played soccer, has been to Brazil, and speaks a little Portuguese.   He was attentive, smart, and a total gentleman.  

He didn’t laugh at everything I said, but I am not taking that as a bad sign.  I need to stop thinking that I need to entertain people and make them laugh.  He was perhaps a bit on the shy side.

At the end of the evening, he walked me to my car, and gave me a quick peck good bye.

When I got home, he texted to say that it was great meeting and that we should do it again.  I agreed.  We decided on Saturday (tomorrow).

I am not completely sure if we are a match or not, but we deserve a second date. 

 “When you are not sure what to do, take action. You will quickly find out.” ― Jeffrey Fry

Ghosting is not okay!

09 Thursday Dec 2021

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“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” ― Andy Rooney

After I published the last post, I received a reply to my text:

The rest of the text reads: “soon as I felt it, but it just very recently has happened.”

At least he replied, but I still think that was a rude and coward move. I guess he was never going to say anything.  Ghosting was his chosen way to end things. 

Why leave me thinking that he is going to call? Why not contact me?  Why leave someone in limbo?

Am I being unreasonable to expect someone to let me know that they have changed their mind?  

I have no expectations after one date, good or not.  But if I have 2 dates that were great and the person keeps in touch and mentions a third; in that case I believe we have something and expect at least a courtesy text.

What saddens me, is not the rejection, but the fact that people think this is an acceptable way to treat each other.   It will never be acceptable to me.

I will not behave in such way, and I will not accept it as being okay.  I will continue to conduct myself in dating, as I do in life, with kindness, respect and thoughtfulness. I will continue to let the Golden Rule guide me.

I should write an online dating etiquette guide. I believe a lot people are just clueless, and perhaps not mean spirited. 

Onward and forward.  Stay tuned, the next post is about my date last night.

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” ― Roy T. Bennett

So it goes, So it goes…

06 Monday Dec 2021

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“Great minds have purpose, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortunes; but great minds rise above them.” ― Washington Irving

Well, Well, Well… here we are again.

The IT/Teacher guy was supposed to reach out to plan a 3rd date. We last exchanged texts on Thanksgiving Day.  I have not heard from him yet.  Chances are I will never hear from him again.  This is not my first rodeo!

He did say that he is not the type to be constantly in touch, but this is a bit out long.  At this point I am not sure if I will reach out or not.  Well, as I come to this post to publish it, I texted him.  No reply yet.  We shall see, if I get silence or an excuse.

Once again, after two great dates, the guy disappears. Is the Universe playing tricks on me? Should I just give up on this whole dating thing? Should I start thinking there is something wrong with me?

“My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others! ” ― Marquis de Sade

NO, NO and NO! None of that!!!  a) The Universe is being the Universe, forever a wise guide, sending me lessons and teachers. b) Online dating is not for the faint of heart. I can take it, and keep going better and stronger.  c) I am not one to get discouraged and/or to start thinking there is something wrong with me or that I am doing something wrong. I am perfect! 🙂

These disappearing acts have nothing to do with anything that I have done or not done.  They were just not the right guy for me yet.  But, with each disappearing act, I feel I am getting closer. 

“And the little prince broke into a lovely peal of laughter, which irritated me very much. I like my misfortunes to be taken seriously.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Happiness is the journey and not the destination, isn’t that what they say?  And I wholeheartedly agree.   Even with the occasional disappointment of not hearing from someone when it all seemed so perfect, even with an occasional jerk, even with so many fake profiles, I still enjoy the journey.

I enjoy going on dates, meeting new people, discovering new things about myself and others. What I enjoy most of all is that feeling I get when I detect potential and possibilities.

“Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.” ― Voltaire

I am happy dreaming of the possibilities. I am in love with the potential. I am excited about first dates with great men; and sometimes not so great men.  If they never call again, it doesn’t mean they are less amazing, but that they are more amazing to someone else.

And, as fate would have, I am now excited about a first date tomorrow night.  Do I dare say that it seems so right?  I dare!

And so it goes, so it goes. 

Cautiously optimistic about a 3rd day in the horizon

22 Monday Nov 2021

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“Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect.”
― Margaret Mitchell

Update: Well, not much of an update, but the potential love story with the funeral home owner is dead.  He still sends a hello every now and then.  He asks about my schedule for a second date, but fails to make plans.

I don’t like that.  I no longer have an interest in him.  Anyone that is interested will make plans or tell me why they can’t.

***

“Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly.”
― Langston Hughes

Second Date with A. IT guy

Date: Saturday, November 20th, 6:30 pm

Location: Tapas and Cusina Restaurant, in Eastchester, NY

Drinks: He had 2 glasses of red wine and I had 2 glasses of passion mimosa (passion fruit juice with champagne)

Food: We chose a bunch of small plates: eggplant rollatini, meatball marinara, fried potatoes with garlic mayonnaise (the best!!), croquettes, fried sardines with salad, pulled pork and beef with polenta. 

Dessert: Limoncello cake.  Turns out he doesn’t care for that much lemon 🙂

We arrived in the parking lot at the same time, and from there we walked to the restaurant. It was a charming small restaurant. We waited 5 minutes while they arranged a table for us.  

We ordered some small plates as I described above.  I thought it would be more fun to share food rather than to get our own entrées.  Plus, I always have food envy.  I always think that the person I am with ordered better than I did.

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
― Emily Dickinson

I had a great time, and I think he did too. It was even better then the first date. Plenty of conversation and laughter.

He remembers every single word that comes out of my mouth.  He remembered details that I mentioned in passing about my childhood. Perhaps I am impressed because I don’t remember anything that people say to me.  I find myself asking the same question 2 or 3 times (I know, embarrassing! I need to do better)

When the coffee he ordered came, before the dessert, he handed me his coffee spoon. When I looked at him quizzically he said: You don’t like to eat your dessert with big spoons so take this one just in case they only bring a big spoon.

Little details like this melts me.  He remembered that from the first date. They did bring huge spoons with the dessert and I happily had my little spoon.  

We talked a lot about so many different things.  On the first date I felt I only talked about myself, so on this date, I enjoyed getting to know more about him, his sons, his work, etc. 

There were so many little instances of magic and joy. There were moments that I wish I could bottle that feeling, that look.   There were also plenty of moments that I wish I hadn’t talked too much, that I had not revealed exactly what I was thinking.   He did mention that I don’t have to filter or edit myself.  Unedited Ana can be a handful, too much, too in your face, too impulsive, too impatience.

“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” ― Shel Silverstein

On the date he mentioned wanting to see me again.  He also mentioned he likes to take things slow. He is not much into daily texting and such.  That is a needed adjustment for me. I am used to believing if I don’t hear from someone daily, then they are not interested.  And that is not necessarily the case, specially at this early in the game.

I feel that meeting someone that wants to take things slow is a good thing for me.  It is the Universe forcing me to face the fact that I need to slow down in everything.  Things are not on my timing.  I don’t need to hurry anything, because they will either happen or not, in the right time.  The divine time, as I like to call.

At the end of the date, we walked to our cars that were parked next to each other. As I stood there on the sidewalk next to my car to say good bye, he stepped back on the street saying that that way we would be at eye level.  I laughed and said he was calling me shorty.  He is 6’1 and I am 5’4.

There were a few kisses 🙂

When I got home he texted me at the same time I was texting him.  We will be making plans after the holiday, as I am going away today for a little road trip to CT, RI and MA.  

Just now he texted me to wish a good trip and happy Thanksgiving. We shall see.

And on the note, I wish you guys a wonderful Thanksgiving.  May it be with family and friends,  and have lots of food and fun!  May you have a lot to be grateful for.  

I am so grateful for having this blog and meeting so many amazing people.  You enrich my life in so many beautiful ways. Forever thankful! ♥♥

“There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life.
” Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget, that until the day God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words, ‘Wait and Hope.”
― Alexandre Dumas