Category Archives: Dating

Being blessed with seeing another year – 57 and it feels so good!

28 Tuesday Mar 2023

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“I grabbed a pile of dust, and holding it up, foolishly asked for as many birthdays as the grains of dust, I forgot to ask that they be years of youth. ” ― Ovid, Metamorphoses

Thank you all for your birthday wishes.  I don’t feel 57 at all.  Well, don’t ask my body.  Sometimes it feels like 107.  My mind keeps getting younger and younger.  

I knew my trip to Florida would be good and I was correct.  I have a lot to write about about Utah, and now about Florida, but will keep this short and write additional posts in the future.

M was the most gracious and caring host to my sister and I.  I asked him not to buy anything special as we would be there for only 2 days.  He didn’t listen.  He had all kinds of foods that he thought we would like. He had paid attention when he was at my home, and made sure to have some of the same things waiting for us.

There were various types of coffees, bagels and popcorn for my sister. For me it was cappuccino mix, oat milk, scones, macarons and Pellegrino water.  He also got prosecco, St. Germain, lemon and lime to make my sister’s favorite drink.

He also gave my sister and I a cute mug (the one above), along with a birthday card and an Amazon gift card.  I love that he gave my sister and I the same amount $100.00.  He has been gifting me things since I met him.  In Utah he gave me an electric hairbrush when I pointed  one out in a store and commented that mine was getting old.  This weekend we were talking about electric toothbrushes and he had one delivered to my house. 

“I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody.” ― George Burns

I am now very careful when talking about things. I don’t want him thinking I am hinting at him buying me stuff.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy him wanting to make me happy by getting me stuff, but it is not necessary.

On Friday night, he picked us up at Orlando Airport.  It was already late when we got to his house so we just had a drink and some cheese and crackers.  

He lives in a condo, townhouse style, in a golfing community in New Smyrna Beach.  He doesn’t golf.  He prefers surfing.

Saturday morning we enjoyed a breakfast of bagels and croissants.  We declined eggs.  After, we went to the beach.  It is a cool beach where one can drive the car on the beach.  That was a whole new experience to me. Supposedly there are sharks in these waters.  But apparently these are good sharks.  Is there such a thing?

I really wanted to feel the sun, so I used sunscreen on my face only. I think that my Brazilian skin never burns.  Wrong!  Burned cleavage anyone?  It turned out that it was one of the hottest days ever there.  Lesson learned. Always use sunscreen all over.

“I see birthdays as a reward for having shown up 365 in a row. It’s like getting a badge for attendance.” ― Gina Barreca

After the beach we stopped at a local favorite Joe’s Subs where we had fish sandwiches and burgers.  Then we went home to get ready for dinner.  We could have skipped lunch or dinner, but on vacation my sister and I forget all reason.

We had dinner at Norwood Restaurant and Treehouse Bar.  The food was great, but the drinks were awful. We ordered too much food.  That night my sister and I come to an agreement: no more ordering of appetizers when out to dinner. 

We got home and watched The Whale.  I fell sleep towards the end.  I woke up with M and my sister wanting their money back. It was great acting by Brendan Fraser, but we didn’t really like the movie.  Expectations, I guess we had too many.

“We do have funerals for the living,” Jill said. “They’re called birthday parties.” ― Andrew Shaffer, Hope Never Dies

On Sunday we had a late start and skipped the beach.  We drove his golf cart around the complex to get a tour.  Then we went to a small spiritual community called Cassadaga.  It has many psychics, healers and mediums. 

M knew I am interested in such things and wanted my sister and I to get a reading. It was interesting.  I will be talking about the reading in a future post.

After the reading, I chose Olive Garden for lunch.  I have never eaten there before.  We were passing by it, and I remember a friend mentioning that he loves their tiramisu.  It seemed like the perfect time to try it.

First thing we do at the restaurant?  Order appetizers!! We were pleasantly surprised with the food and drinks we got.  Everything was great.  And the tiramisu was indeed delicious.

We got back to his house, packed and got ready to go to the airport.  Our flight was delayed.  There were long lines. I try not to let those things bother me.  But my sister got a little stressed, worrying about getting home very late and having to get up early the next day.

As I am at the gate, I realized I didn’t have my carry-on. After being sent to different locations, I went back to the TSA screening and saw it on a table.  I had to wait for an officer to inspect and then was free to go.  In 40 years traveling it has never happened.  I told my sister it was her fault, she got me so frazzled and made me forget.  She smiled sheepishly, because she knows it is true.

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” ― Dr. Seuss, Happy Birthday to You!

We boarded, it was a quick flight, just a little over 2 hours.  Kristin Chenoweth was on my flight with her dog and her fiance.  She is a tiny little thing.  She was escorted to the plane first.  Everyone left her alone.  I am not sure a lot people recognized her.

My sister and I will be having a quiet birthday evening.  I will be getting her her favorite Black Forest cake, and also the Nutella cake from Martine’s Bakery.  I am thinking of getting Walter’s Hot Dogs for dinner.  

When my sister and I were discussing what to have for a special dinner, we realized, once again, how blessed we are.  We want for nothing.  

Tomorrow I am having dinner with my friend A.  Then Thursday dinner with my sister and another friend.

On Friday, guess who is boarding a flight to Florida again?

Life keeps getting better and better.  So infinitely blessed and thankful!

“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” ― Robert Frost

ps. Happy Birthday Lady Gaga!

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Where fear and happiness meet

24 Friday Mar 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Food

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“Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution.” ― Kahlil Gibran

Time is short, so here is a quick summary of my quick trip to Park City, Utah.

I had the most awesome time. M is the most thoughtful and caring guy I ever met. He was always making sure that everything was exactly how I wanted. I had to keep reminding him that it is not all about me. oh wait, it should be all about me 😉

And the mountains are just majestic!  A mixture of beauty, freedom and happiness permeates the air. And yes, a bit of fear and panic I get some times.

I arrived in Salt Lake City on Saturday, we spent the night there and drove to Park City the next day. No skiing on Sunday, just getting our equipment, getting to know the town, and getting to our charming 1-bedroom condo with a balcony and fireplace.
I had been to Park City in 2015, it was fun to remember some areas.

We skied only 2 days, Monday and Tuesday. On Monday I did okay. I still struggle with fear. The moment I pick up speed or it is a steeper hill I lose confidence. Still, I love it! I love the challenge; I love the freedom.

On Tuesday, while in line to get our skis M befriended an older man that is a ski instructor in a resort in Virginia. He offered to give me a few pointers. He spent the whole day teaching me. It is incredible to see how much I improved from one day to the next. I take lessons every time I go skiing, but this time I didn’t book any. This man was so helpful. His instructions really boosted my confidence.

We bought him lunch, and at the end of the day we gave him $100 as an appreciation.  We asked if we could buy him dinner.  He said it was not necessary, but accepted.

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” ― Marcus Tullius Cicero

I had memorable meals, and forgettable meals. The memorable ones were at:
• Aqua Terra Steak Sushi in Salt Lake. The best ever! Everything about this restaurant was awesome. He had sushi, and salmon. I had the black cod. To drink I had the Golden Goose and he had the Garden Party. Best drinks ever! We shared a chocolate tart for dessert.
• 710 Bodega in Park City. We had a bunch of tapas, including patatas bravas, almondigas for me, shrimp for him, and others. To drink he had beer, I had the Laverstoke- I asked for vodka instead of gin. The waiter said no one ever asked for that before, but it was so delicious. For dessert we shared the Broken Pavlova -Yummy!
• Baan Thai Cuisine in Park City. We had noodles, spring rolls, sticky rice, and chicken satay (not my favorite, but still good). Lychee martini for me, beer for him. Great meal!

I bought my ticket to Salt Lake City, and he paid for everything else, lodging, lift tickets, meals, etc as my birthday present. The big 57 is on Tuesday. He even wanted to pay for the souvenirs I bought for my family. I didn’t let him do it, though. I felt it would be taking advantage of his kindness.

On Wednesday morning we left Park City and drove to Salt Lake City Airport. My flight was leaving first, his would take another 5 hours. He made a point of making sure to be there when I arrived and also when I left, even if it meant staying at the airport several more hours.

“Pursue what catches your heart, not what catches your eyes.” ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

I got home Wednesday at 9:30pm. I worked Thursday, and part of today. At 5pm my sister and I are flying to his house in New Smyrna Beach, Florida for the weekend.

It is a quick trip, just as a trial to see how would this long distance relationship work.  He will be showing us around and also talking us to dinner for our birthdays (sis and I). He had offered to fly to NY to take us out to dinner on Tuesday, but I decided to go there this weekend instead.  

I remain very happy and excited about this blossoming relationship. I am afraid to talk too much about and jinx it.  I will be mentioning some additional details about Park City as time permits.

Stay tuned for the Florida report.

“It’s amazing how a little tomorrow can make up for a whole lot of yesterday.” ― John Guare

They are yellow, but they can also be red. They love the sun, and they make my heart sing!

09 Thursday Mar 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating

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“All this was new to me. Life takes us by surprise and orders us to move towards the unknown – even when we don’t want to and we think we don’t need to.” ― Paulo Coelho

I arrived home yesterday and there was this huge flower box waiting for me by the door. I suspected was from M. 

 And it was.  He knows that I love sunflowers and daisies. So, to celebrate International Women’s Day he sent me 10 beautiful sunflowers.

I am so happy with his care and attention.  Everything he says and does, makes me feel not only wanted, but cherished and safe.

There is only one detail with the beautiful flowers.  Each flower should have been protected by netting, as per the description inside the box.  Because they were not, some were damaged.  I didn’t tell him that, but I want to give him a tip when ordering flowers again.

Since I have been disappointed,more than once, with 1800Flowers, I now search for a florist in the area where I am sending to.  I get a local florist and get flower arrangements done with attention and care. 

Would you say something, or just leave it alone? I don’t want to appear ungrateful.

“I have been finding treasures in places I did not want to search. I have been hearing wisdom from tongues I did not want to listen. I have been finding beauty where I did not want to look. And I have learned so much from journeys I did not want to take. Forgive me, O Gracious One; for I have been closing my ears and eyes for too long. I have learned that miracles are only called miracles because they are often witnessed by only those who can can see through all of life’s illusions. I am ready to see what really exists on other side, what exists behind the blinds, and taste all the ugly fruit instead of all that looks right, plump and ripe.” ― Suzy Kassem

Weekend date: Part II – Saturday

01 Wednesday Mar 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“If I want a long boring story with no point to it, I have my life.” ― Jerry Seinfeld

Here is the rest of my weekend date with M – I need to think of a nickname for him.

On Saturday morning I went to the mosaic studio.  I had missed the prior Saturday because my date from Boston was here. I didn’t want to miss it again.

The plan was for me to decide on something fun for us to do afterwards. He had made some suggestions, but I was undecided.

When I left the studio at around 12:30 I called him and said I would stop by the hotel and pick him up.  He said not to worry that he would drive over.  I assured him that the hotel was on my way home. That way he didn’t need to deal with parking.

“Let’s face it: a date is a job-interview, that lasts all night. The only difference between a date and a job interview is: not many job-interviews is there a chance you’ll end up naked at the end of it. ”― Jerry Seinfeld

My sister joined us for a late breakfast (or early lunch) of Brazilian cheese bread, bagels, papaya, yogurt, pound cakes (marble and chocolate), etc, peppered with a lot laughs. His sense of humor matched my sister’s and I. We played Wordle, quoted Seinfeld, taught him a few words in Portuguese, etc.

After the meal, we went to my sister’s apartment and helped her change some light bulbs.  We came back to my apartment and I was still thinking of where to go in the afternoon.  I thought of some parks, museums or even a ski store, as I have skiing in my mind.  In the end I decided against all of those.

It was just the perfect day to stay at home.  I asked if he would mind if we just watched a movie and then later go out to dinner.  He said that it was a great idea. I proposed we watch Shawshank Redemption, one of my favorite movies that he hadn’t seen it yet.

“Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason” ― Jerry Seinfeld

After the movie, it was already after 6pm, and I was starving.  I chose to go to a place near my home that I had never been to before, Krave, a Caribbean style restaurant.

We shared cod fish fritters, salmon with green beans and mashed potato and fried rice. We took macaroni and cheese home for my sister. We both had wine, him red, I chose white. I almost had the coconut rum cake for dessert, but decided it would be too much. I should have taken to go… oh well.

After dinner, we stopped by my sister’s apartment to drop off the macaroni and cheese.  We chatted for a little while, then came back to my place and watched a couple of episodes of Schitt’s Creek while snuggling on the couch.

I drove him back to the hotel around 10:30.  We said good bye, as he was leaving for the airport early the next morning.

“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy livin’ or get busy dyin” ― Shawshank Redemption

Next time he comes to New Rochelle, I will make better plans.  Still this was perfect, easy, comfortable and fun. There are sparks, but it is not the crazy, exploding fireworks I have been looking for.  It was more like a slow burn, comfortable, familiar, attentive and romantic. One word to describe it, that it is pretty much unexpected for me is: mature. It feels adult, grown up.

We will be seeing each other next at the Salt Lake City Airport.  We will meet up there and drive to Park City to spend a few days skiing. I can’t wait!  He booked the place to stay and bought the lift tickets yesterday. I just booked my flights. I wanted to pay for my lift tickets, but he said it is my early birthday gift.  I am turning 57 on March 28 – arghhh… where has all of those years gone?

This, whatever this is, feels promising, feels good.

“Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things.
And no good thing ever dies!” ― Shawshank Redemption

Weekend Date – Part I

27 Monday Feb 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” ― John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love

Hi friends,

Here is the first part of my weekend date update.  I had a good reason to be excited.  He was just one of the sweetest, most thoughtful man that I ever met.

M. is 60 years old.  He is a retired helicopter pilot.  He retired at 55 years old.  He lives simply and planned his life so that he was able to retire early. He has spent the last 5 years skiing, surfing and traveling.

He arrived at 2pm on Thursday and went to his hotel. I was at work, so we met at 6:30pm at the hotel restaurant, Noma.  He met me outside.  I could tell right away that he was very shy.

Later he confessed that he checked on YouTube how do Brazilians greet each other.  I thought it was cute that he was trying to know exactly what to do. He also signed up with Rosetta Stone and is learning Portuguese. Extra points. Also, the moment I met him, he asked me to take a picture of his Drivers License and send it to my sister so she would know who I was with it.

The restaurant was great, busy and lively.  At some point there was a lady teaching salsa, and clearly there were a lot couples that went there just for that.  For dinner we had several tapas dishes.  I had a passion-fruit mojito, he had a beer.  We shared the bread pudding for dessert.

Throughout dinner and after, while sitting at a couch on the lobby, we talked like old friends.  We stayed in the lobby for about 30 minutes.  He reminded me that it was a school night and wanted to drive me home.  I wanted to walk.  He was not happy that I wanted to walk alone at night, but I assured him that it was safe.  It was still not that late.

Next day, Friday, I had originally intended on taking the day off, but there was some work I wanted to finish.  I decided to work half day from home, and meet him after.  Eventually I called him and proposed that he comes to my apartment and we have a late breakfast/lunch here. That way I would be logged into work for awhile longer.

He came over, we made a quick trip to the bakery, then returned, had some food.  I did some office work while we continued to talk. Then we decided to go out and do something.  It was so cold and windy, not the greatest day to be out, but we wanted to get out of the house. 

He kept asking if there was anything I always wanted to do, or any place I always wanted to see.  I came out blank, but so appreciate him trying to please me. He had a list of places, but by this time it was already 3:30, so I figured it was too late for any long drive.

I suggested we take a drive to Untermeyer Park and Gardens. We got there at 4pm.  It was definitely not the right day and time for a visit, but it is a gorgeous place no matter what.  It was empty, and the gate was closed, but not locked.  We walked around for about 45 minutes.  Then I remembered that I thought I had seen online that the park closes at 4:30pm.  We joked that we may get locked in.

We hurried to leave, but of course, we get to the gate and it is locked.  A bit of panic sets in, as it would be getting dark soon.  He started looking around for a way to either jump the wall, or some other area that we get through.  I called 911. 

As I am speaking to the dispatcher, M. comes over and noticed a notice on the wall, that had 2 numbers to call if ever locked in.  I told the dispatcher and she said: “Call the number, and if there is no answer call me back.”

As I called one number, he called the other.  I reached a mailbox that was full.  The number that he dialed connected him to 911.  At that same moment I saw through the gate that a security guard was coming towards us.

M. said: “I am going to give him $20”. I said, yes please, but only if he is not angry or mean.  He was not.  He had a smile on his face, and asked if we had not heard him on the loudspeaker.  We had not.  He didn’t want to take the tip, but we insisted.  

We returned to my town and stopped at the train station to get my sister.  We went home and got changed for dinner.  He took my sister and I to my sister’s favorite restaurant, Sergio’s.  We let her choose the place.

On the way there I realize I was missing my phone.  We dropped my sister at the restaurant and returned to my apartment to look for my phone.

Luckily, my phone was sitting on the table where I had left. We returned to the restaurant and found my sister seated at a table enjoying a cosmopolitan and bread and butter.  We had such a wonderful dinner full of fun conversation and laughter.

We had calamari and eggplant rollatini as appetizers. M. had the branzino with broccoli rabe. My sister had shrimp scampi with risotto.  I had eggplant with angel hair.  For dessert, my sister took a cheesecake home. 

Everything about Thursday and Friday was easy and fun.  Nothing awkward or difficult.  There were sparks, but also there was no pressure or pushiness for anything.  He is shy and very respectful.  He has made it clear that it is all 100% up to me; that he is not in any hurry.  I am enjoying concentrating on building this friendship and exploring the potential here.

He liked me.. a lot! He couldn’t stop making it clear to me that he was interested in a long term relationship.  The fact that he is retired and has nobody depending on him is a major plus for me.  Unlike the guy from Boston, he is able to come and go at a moment’s notice.  Speaking of the guy from Boston, he wants to schedule the second date for March.  I don’t think I  will be going on a second date with him.   He is so great, but with 2 young kids, everything will be more difficult for the next 8 to 10 years.

Weekend date part II next…

“To him she seemed so beautiful, so seductive, so different from ordinary people, that he could not understand why no one was as disturbed as he by the clicking of her heels on the paving stones, why no one else’s heart was wild with the breeze stirred by the sighs of her veils, why everyone did not go mad with the movements of her braid, the flight of her hands, the gold of her laughter. He had not missed a single one of her gestures, not one of the indications of her character, but he did not dare approach her for fear of destroying the spell.” ― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera

It is a Rumi kind of day!

23 Thursday Feb 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Poetry

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“Love calls – everywhere and always.
We’re sky bound.
Are you coming?”
― Rumi

Today is a Rumi kind of day for me.  A day full of promise and wonder.

My date is scheduled to arrive in town momentarily.  He is up in the air.  Literally!

He will arrive and go to his hotel.  I am at work, but hopefully leaving soon.  We don’t have set plans, but we will probably meet for the first time at dinner.  

It seems so promising.  Yes, I am excited. That is the way it is supposed to be, I believe.  Dates should be approached with excitement. It is just another date, and yet, it is not! It could turn out to be something amazing.

“I want to see you.

Know your voice.

Recognize you when you
first come ’round the corner.

Sense your scent when I come
into a room you’ve just left.

Know the lift of your heel,
the glide of your foot.

Become familiar with the way
you purse your lips
then let them part,
just the slightest bit,
when I lean in to your space
and kiss you.

I want to know the joy
of how you whisper
“more”
― Rumi

When it is ok to be evasive

26 Thursday Jan 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“May what I do flow from me like a river, no forcing and no holding back, the way it is with children.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke

My dating life ebbs and flows.  I go through cycles.  Sometimes I am very interested in dating, in finding a partner.  I go on Match often, I read a lot profiles, I send likes.

Other times, as in now,  I feel I have no time for it. Or, perhaps I should say ,I just don’t have much interest.  I guess it is a combination of those factors.

Work has been occupying a lot of my mental capacity.  The audit that started in August is still not finished, but it should be a matter of days now… fingers crossed.

Still, even with my lack of interest and time, I managed to exchange messages with someone and go on a date last Thursday night.

We met for dinner at Modern Restaurant in New Rochelle.  He is 50 years old and works as part of spiritual care team at a large hospital.  He is very accomplished and intelligent.  He was personable and we had good conversations, mostly about his background and about Rumi.  He is very well versed in on all things Rumi. I love Rumi.

I had a good time, but there was zero chemistry for me.

He paid me a lot compliments.  He said that I am much better in person than in my pictures.   That made me questions my pictures on Match.

“Nothing in this world is harder than speaking the truth, nothing easier than flattery.” ― Fyodor Dostoevsky

He seemed really interested in me, and let me know it at every second.  While I appreciate the honesty and forwardness, it sometimes can smell of desperation and insincerity. Get to know someone more than a couple of hours before you start exalting them.

I don’t think he really knew how over the top he was really being. I did give him some pointers on future dates.  I pointed out that there is such thing as “too much too soon”.   He said I was his first date since he joined Match.  So perhaps that is the problem right there.  Too eager!

At the end of the date, he mentioned again that he was very enamored by me and wanted to see me again.  He said: “I desire you”.  That just made me cringe.

Then he asked if I was interested in him. Talk about putting someone on the spot!!

“I do know that the slickest way to lie is to tell the right amount of truth–then shut up.” ― Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

I didn’t know how to answer.  Don’t get me wrong, I knew the answer.  It was NO.  I was not interested in seeing him again as a potential romantic partner.  I had zero interest in that.

I love the whole truth and nothing but the truth, and will always choose honesty above all else. But on first dates, safety comes first.  I don’t know if the person sitting across from me will turn into a raving lunatic upon rejection. I rather not chance it.

Even though my body and facial expression was screaming NO, out of my mouth came the words: “I am not sure.”

He looked deflated but said he understood.  We walked out of the restaurant, quickly hugged goodbye, and went our separate ways.

“It is not easy to keep silent when silence is a lie.” ― Victor Hugo

The next day I opened Match, and was about to write him and tell him how I really felt.  While I was deciding what to write, he blocked me.

Thank you!   I love when things get resolved on their own.

Everything in life, and in this case, dates, are either a win or a lesson.  This time, again, it was a lesson.  I learned that I need to read profiles more carefully, ask more questions and pay attention to the answers.

While he seemed to be a nice person and I had a nice time, had I spent more time reading his profile and asking the right questions before the date, I would know he was not for me.

On the date, he said he was not interested in a committed relationship.  It turns out he is still married, and there will be no divorce.  It is a long story that he shared with me on the date, and I am choosing not to repeat here to protect the innocent.

I understand his situation.  It has to do with his past, insurance, finances and a personal sense of obligation.  Still, even if there was chemistry, I think it would be too much drama for me to get involved with.

While, at the moment, I am a bit tired and very slow with my dating efforts, I am still out there and still interested.  I enjoy online dating. I enjoy first dates, I enjoy meeting new people; and for me it is still the best place for me to meet people.  And I believe he is out there!  It is okay if you call me delusional lol

Remember: Safety first when online dating!

“It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.” ― Noël Coward, Blithe Spirit

A friend for life or just a lesson?

03 Tuesday Jan 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, EX Files

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Last night (Monday, January 2nd, 2023) I had dinner with Mr. Sweet.   He continues to be sweet and thoughtful.  He drove from NYC to pick me up to go to dinner, and he brought bagels for my sister.

I am glad I said yes to dinner, even though I almost canceled to stay home and watch TV.  The time apart had made me realize I didn’t miss him at all.   It was great to confirm that he is definitely not the one for me, not now, not ever.

The last time I saw him was in October when we had gone to dinner in NYC with my sister and my friend.  That night he repeated that he wanted to see “what is out there”. And that night time I finally understood it. I wrote about it here:  https://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2022/10/27/still-sweet-but-not-yet-the-one/

Last night I chose to go to Hinoki Restaurant in Greenwich, CT.  It is a restaurant I have been to before and wanted to go back.  The meal and drinks were delicious. To drink I had the Pornstar – Stoli vanilla vodka, passoa liqueur, passion-fruit puree and lime juice.  Later I had a Lychee Martini – Japanese vodka, lychee puree and dry vermouth.  He had a spicy drink, I don’t remember the name but it was good.  To eat we shared: fried rice, chicken lettuce wrap, boneless short ribs and black cod with grilled endive.  For dessert we shared lava cake with ice cream.

“Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable.”
― G.K. Chesterton, Heretics

We got caught up on what we have been up to.  He talked about a couple of trips he has taken.  He asked about my mosaics.  He talked a lot about dating.  I was okay with that, since I am no longer interested in the role of being his girlfriend.

He is still like a kid in a candy store.  It seems he is dating anyone that looks his way, or swipes right on him.  I think he may have broken some record of the most dates in one week, or something like that.  It feels a bit desperate and chaotic.

His divorce negotiations are about to start. The more we talked, the more I felt it was a good thing that we had not continued dating.  Not only his divorce will probably take forever, he seems to have a lot of growing up to do.  What appears quirky and cute, would annoy me to no end.  It seems he has money, perhaps from his family, so perhaps that is why it seems he lacks ambition and job stability.  That would make me nervous in the long run.  I want a man with more of a sense of direction.

He wanted to talk about how we ended things last time. To me there was nothing to talk about.  He felt he needed to apologize for leading me on.  I said that apologies were not necessary, I was at fault for assuming things.  I hadn’t felt sparks in a long time, and got caught up in it.  That was a great lesson that I learned and it will help prevent heartaches in the future.

“I prefer to surround myself with people who reveal their imperfection, rather than people who fake their perfection.” ― Charles F. Glassman

He said that he was hoping that I didn’t take this dinner invitation in a different way, meaning, he hoped I didn’t think it was a date.   I assured him I did not, and I didn’t.

He then started telling me that I am so great, so beautiful, so smart, that he hopes I will find someone, etc.  He added: ” I will see if I have any friends to introduce to you”. OMG, ouch, I just hate that.

I am fine if someone says: “you would be perfect for my friend/cousin, etc”.  But to say I am going to look around for someone for you is just annoying, even offensive to me.   As if having a boyfriend is such a necessity, like a job.  It is not like I am asking him to do it.  Am I the only that hates that?

My response to him was to start laughing, and I added: “Please, Please, don’t introduce me to anyone, I barely have time and motivation for the dates I find on my own.”

I also said: “I know I am a catch, and the right man for me will see it.  The fact that you said you need to see what is out there says it all.  I am not the one, and the world has not come to an end.”

That was just a blip in the evening.  We do have a great time together.  There is always a lot laughs.  At times he seems a bit childish, and that is another trait that is now charming, but probably would drive me crazy later on.

Towards the end of the date he came clean and mentioned there was someone that he was excited about and getting serious with. I think he didn’t want to say it earlier for fear of hurting me. Once he realized I could care less if he is serious about someone or not, he felt free to mention it.   I hope she is as excited about him as he is about her. I hope that, if that is the case, he stops dating every skirt he sees.

After dinner he drove me home and we hugged goodbye.  He said he is a phone call away, and that we should meet up more often.  I agreed, and said I would call him.  I may or may not.  Time will tell if this is a friend for life or not.

Speaking of being friends with guys on dating sites.  My best friend, a guy I met on Plenty of Fish in 2015, will be moving into my building this month.  He is great as a friend, let’s see how he is as a neighbor.

Tomorrow night I have a quick drinks date with a ski lover that likes Rumi.  Sounds like a promising friendship, hopefully more.

“Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make it logical; don’t edit your own soul according to the fashion. Rather, follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.” ― Franz Kafka

Post about this and that

09 Friday Dec 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Food

≈ 52 Comments

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I want to post more, I do.  I start writing a post, then I get busy or distracted; by the time I get back to it, it feels like old news and I start a new one.  I need to break this pattern.  I am going to try.  Until then, these are some of the topics/posts unfinished.

“How can a nation be called great if its bread tastes like kleenex?” ― Julia Child

Friends and baked goods.  This past weekend we met friends in Edison, NJ.  That is the half way point between my home in NY and theirs in PA.  The wife is a baker that likes to try new recipes.  She is so gracious and will gives us breads and other goodies on our birthday and for Christmas.  This time she gave my sister a box full of savory goods, and me one with sweets.  As that is our preference.

She makes a bunch of different items throughout the months and always saves us a sample.  My only complaint, if I can’t be that ungrateful, is that I was eager to have the scones, but she decided to flavor them this time with ginger. It was too strong for me.  But there were plenty of other goodies for me to try, such as the mini chocolate chip muffins below.

I feel beyond grateful to have kind, thoughtful friends, that like to bake!!!

mini chocolate chip muffins for breakfast just because

“We are made for loving. If we don’t love, we will be like plants without water.” ― Desmond Tutu

The Christmas cactuses are blooming.  The plants in my office continue to thrive. The picture below is from the beginning of the week.  Today they look even better and by next week all the buds will probably be in bloom.  I will take another picture them.

Christmas cactus starting to bloom

My Brazil jersey is a guy magnet.  Well, if the guy is a soccer loving one.  Since the World Cup is in the winter, I cannot show off my Brazilian jersey outdoors.  The 3 guys that saw me in the hall at work immediately smiled and approached me to talk about the World Cup.

Two of the guys I had crossed paths with before and there was never a hello.  All of a sudden they are my best friends.  That is the beauty of the World Cup.  It unites people in fun.

World Cup is on – Go Brazil!!

“The first World Cup I remember was in the 1950 when I was 9 or 10 years old. My father was a soccer player, and there was a big party, and when Brazil lost to Uruguay, I saw my father crying.” -Pele

Ultimatums are useless with me. I received an ultimatum from a person listed in my phone as “Waste of time”. He said it in the voice mail: “This is the last time I am calling you and leaving you a voice mail”.  I thought to myself: thank you!!

This is a person that I had one date with several years ago.  A couple of times a year he will call, waste my time on the phone complaining of how busy with work he is.  Then he will say that we need to get together and he will reach out when he has more time to meet.

Every time he called or texted I was polite and answered, but by now I had enough and blocked him.  So I don’t even see when it rings, I only get the voice mail. And now it seems I am free from that also.

I wish him well, but I am happy to never hear from him again.

“Relationships are negotiated and if you deal with ultimatums and authority all the time, then you’re not going to get anywhere.” – Phil McGraw

Friday night in NYC: a date of dinner and a show

20 Sunday Nov 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Reviews

≈ 31 Comments

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On Friday night I met the 65 year attorney at the Elgin Restaurant for the third date.  I got there first and chose a table in the back, where was quiet and less drafty… as I thought to myself: omg, I must really be getting old, trying to be away from noise and cold air!

I had a drink called Lafayette 45. It was made with Empress Gin, Lemon Juice, Simple Syrup & Prosecco.  He doesn’t normally drink, he had a diet coke.  For appetizers we had fried cauliflower and also a Mediterranean platter with a trio of dips.  For entrée I chose sirloin sliders.  He had a salad with tons of stuff in it.  We chose not to have dessert.  I have been having too much sugar lately.

After dinner we headed to the Walter Karr Theatre to see Hadestown.  I knew we were going to the theater but I didn’t know which show.  I was happy it was a show I hadn’t seen it before. The theater was a small space, there was really no bad seat.  Our seats were in the middle orchestra, about 10 rows from the front.  It was close enough for me. 

Hadestown is a musical loosely based on Greek Mythology story of the love affair between Orpheus and Eurydice.  Overall, I enjoyed the show specially because I went in with no expectations.  Since I didn’t know what we would be seeing I didn’t do any research or read anything about the show.  

I really enjoyed it, but I found that the set/scenery could have been better. I have come to expect to be wowed any time I go to see anything on Broadway, specially musicals.  Here, there was not much of it. I kept waiting for the set to change it, but it really never did.  There was one setting change, but it was not really different from the original. I felt it could have been more creative.

I also had a problem with some songs.  While I loved most of them, I felt that some of them were there to just fill space.   At those times my mind would drift off, waiting for something to grab my attention again. At those times I wished the show was shorter.

While I really enjoyed the show I do wish the setting was more creative and some songs were removed.  But looking back, I feel like that about a lot shows.  I guess some song fillers are necessary.  However the singers and dancers were all amazing.  Some of the best voices I have heard.  For that alone I would go back.

As far as my date, he continues to be such a gentleman, so thoughtful and kind. He would not let me take the train or an Uber after the show.  He drove me 40 minutes out of his way to take me home.  Again, when he dropped me off, I reached over, hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek when I said good bye.

The chemistry is still not there, and I doubt it will ever be there. I don’t think we will be going on any more dates.  Unless he is okay with friendship only.