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Relationship Trilogy – Part II: Sick of this rollercoaster

14 Saturday May 2022

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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Tags

erratic dating behavior, Foxwoods Casino, rollercoaster relationship, the ups and downs of new relationships

“Climb up the stairs cheerfully, climb down the stairs cheerfully! Let your mind is unaffected by the ups and downs of life!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan

I returned from Brazil feeling that B and I were on a good path.  Even though I was exhausted I went to B’s house for dinner on the same day I returned.  Here is the post about it: https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.com/2022/04/21/on-off-or-just-dimmed/

I will summarize it here: We were very happy to see each other and all was great until I announced I was leaving.  He was annoyed and started complaining that I was not staying over.

I thought he would be happy that I went to see him on the same day I returned from Brazil; instead he went on and on about how disappointed and hurt he was.  He said I was not making him feel special and I was not making him a priority.  

I was shocked with all he was saying and how he was behaving.  I didn’t even know how to respond. We had already had a conversation about my limited time, about the fact that my mom would be a priority. 

I cried out of frustration and confusion.  I left not knowing where we stood.  After that evening I texted him asking if we were on or off.  He said he was hurt but looking forward to seeing me again.  We texted back and forth, and talked on the phone a couple of times.  It was frustrating, as it seemed there is so much miscommunication. He seemed to always miss the point. Still we managed to move forward.

For the next date I went to his house and we ordered Chinese food.  I had a lot to talk about. I had a lot to say, and I did.  He apologized and said he got angry because he likes me a lot and wants to see me often.  He promised he would be more understanding of my limited time.

The next time we met was for our 2 month dating anniversary. It didn’t start well, as I was in a foul mood for some reason. Here is the post: https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.com/2022/04/27/nothing-to-be-proud-of/

Even though I was moody in the beginning of the evening, we were able to talk it out and went ahead and had a great evening.  Something still was giving me pause, but still we seemed to be in a good place again.

On a Friday morning I left for a weekend trip to the casino for my mom’s birthday weekend. B and I texted throughout Friday and Saturday morning.  Then all of a sudden he went silent.

I could sense something was off.  I texted asking if all was okay. Here is the texts:

I was in shock when I read that.   It made no sense at all.  What was he talking about? 

My sister said I  should have called him on Friday night. I disagree.  I had no problem calling, but I didn’t think of.  Plus, I mentioned to him countless times, that he can always call me if he wants.  Even if I had promised to call and didn’t, it was no reason for this behavior.

Even though my sister was making me have doubts about my role in this situation, I didn’t reply and decided I was done with his outbursts out of nowhere.  I was also mad with his language. His behavior was way over the top and unreasonable.

“That’s the way life is sometimes: you can fix things up, but you can’t make them all better.” ― Amy Joy, The Academie

I was getting tired of this push-pull behavior.  One minute he says he loves me, and the next he is done. I didn’t reply and was okay with never hearing from him again.

Two days later he wrote and said sorry. I relented. He said he liked me so much and only wanted us to be in touch more often.  He said that all my texting felt like I was texting a friend.

I agreed to try again. How could I let go of what I thought had so much potential? I had to give him another chance.  He apologized.  I mentioned to him that his behavior was scary and uncalled for.  I said that his behavior felt abusive and bipolar. He was shocked to hear that and I wondered if I was not being over sensitive.  But I can only go with my feelings and this push and pull of this relationship was messing up my mind.

We met to say good bye as I was getting ready for my trip to Brazil and he was getting ready to get his daughter from college. Here is the post about it: https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.com/2022/05/07/come-over-come-over-come-over/

We seemed to be back on track. I was going to be away in Brazil and he was going to be busy with his daughter. We said goodbye. I felt good; we were in a good place.

We continued texting and talking on the phone. I didn’t think I was going to see him again before leaving, but on Sunday when he said he could perhaps meet, I agreed.  Then he said that perhaps it was better to do it on Monday because it was Mother’s Day and his daughter was having a hard time.  I agreed.

Then later when I texted to touch base, he said he could actually meet on Sunday. By then I had already rearranged my schedule and couldn’t do it.  I told him and I got this response:

I was not sure how to take that last line.  I was going to text LOL back, but it didn’t seem like a joke, so I decided not to reply right away.

Then, I get an additional text that was shocking to me.

to be continued…

ps. Comments will be disabled until the next post. (If I figure out how to do it) Are you listening Rob?

 

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Nothing better than good food and good friends

01 Wednesday Dec 2021

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Daily Message

≈ 22 Comments

Tags

Encore Casino, Foxwoods Casino, Framingham, good friends and good food, overeating, pao de queijo e bolo prestigio, Thanksgiving, Westerly-RI

“If you’re reading this…
Congratulations, you’re alive.
If that’s not something to smile about,
then I don’t know what is.”
― Chad Sugg, Monsters Under Your Head

Happy December!  Last month of the year, can you believe that?  I can’t.  This year has been a blur, similar to 2020.

Will 2022 be different, or will the craziness just continue, or even get worst?

Last week we met friends in Westerly, RI and Framingham, MA.  We spent time at Foxwoods in CT and Encore in Boston.  We had great meals and so much fun. Perhaps a bit too much eating.

I took no pictures anywhere, except at Encore Casino in Boston.  I am just awful at remembering to take pictures. 

Some good meals were had at Guy Fieri’s Foxwoods-CT, Mystique Encore-MA, Bridge Restaurant Westerly-RI, plus both of my friends cooked divine meals. And don’t let me forget Shake Shack 🙂

If you are ever near Marlborough, MA, you need to stop by a Brazilian bakery called Deg’s Cakes.  Try the Pao de Queijo (Cheese bread) and Bolo Prestigio (chocolate cake with coconut filling and ganache frosting). 

“We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.”
― David Mamet, Boston Marriage

“We have the choice to use the gift of our life to make the world a better place.” ― Jane Goodall

“Be the reason someone smiles. Be the reason someone feels loved and believes in the goodness in people.” ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Every man who has shown the world the way to beauty, to true culture, has been a rebel, a ‘universal’ without patriotism, without home who has found his people everywhere.” ― Chaim Potok

“It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Diary

“At this very moment enormous numbers of intelligent men and women of goodwill are trying to build a better world. But problems are born faster than they can be solved.” ― B.F. Skinner, Walden Two

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”
― Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

“Don’t Just

Don’t just learn, experience.
Don’t just read, absorb.
Don’t just change, transform.
Don’t just relate, advocate.
Don’t just promise, prove.
Don’t just criticize, encourage.
Don’t just think, ponder.
Don’t just take, give.
Don’t just see, feel.
Don’t just dream, do.
Don’t just hear, listen.
Don’t just talk, act.
Don’t just tell, show.
Don’t just exist, live.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

 

 

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A perfect imperfect weekend!

08 Thursday Jul 2021

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 37 Comments

Tags

Dippin' Dots Ice cream, Foxwoods Casino, Guy Fieri's Kitchen, Misquamicut Beach, Mohegan Sun Casino, RI, Westerly

Last week my sister and I decided to take Thursday and Friday off and make it a 5 day weekend.  It was not very smart since the last days of the month and of the semester are normally our busiest at work.

We decided to stay at the hotel at Foxwoods Casino and during the day go to Misquamicut Beach in Rhode Island, just 20 minutes away.  

We were also going to spend time with my friend in Westerly, RI.  She just got engaged, and we planned to take the happy couple out for a celebration.

The plan was to go away for 3 days, and then spend Sunday and Monday with local friends.

We had fun, but things didn’t go according to plan. 

It rained, so we never enjoyed the beach, or even the pool at the hotel. 

We made zero money at the casino. Not that I ever expect to come home with money, but I expect to be able to play longer.

We never saw my friend.  They both got ill and we couldn’t get together. 

The meal at most restaurants were lackluster.   Only one meal was worth the calories.  The food at Guy Fieri’s never disappoints.  One evening we even went to have appetizers at another restaurant after having had a very mediocre dinner at Hash House.

Fun place to be. Better when I win, but fun no matter what.

Dippin’ Dots is always a highlight for me. I have this ice cream every time I am there. Just love it!

The view from our room. This is the day we arrived. The only day it didn’t rain.

When I go to to Foxwoods, I have to stop at Mohegan Sun.

Just a pleasure to be out and see people with no masks. Feels normal again.

We drove and walked around Mystic, CT and the sea shore of Rhode Island.  That is always fun!

Sunday and Monday we spent some times with friends we hadn’t seen in ages. That was a lot fun.

Plans go wrong for different reasons.  Sometimes it is just to remind us to make better plans next time 🙂 or to teach us to be more flexible and understanding.

I am leaving work earlier tomorrow to go away for the weekend again.  This time we are going to a resort in NJ to just enjoy nature and the pool.

Stay tuned for a date report. 🙂

Feeling blessed, wishing you all a blessed weekend!   

 

 

 

 

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Fun, sun and won some!

13 Thursday Aug 2020

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

Alejandro Sanz, Foxwoods Casino, fun weekend, Guy Fieri, Ivete Sangalo, Misquamicut Beach, Mohegun Sun, Rhose Island, slot winner

“Tomorrow is tomorrow.
Future cares have future cures,
And we must mind today.”
― Sophocles

Another weekend is around the corner and I didn’t even have a chance to write about the last one, so here we go:  My sister and I  went again to Foxwoods Casino.  This time we brought along another friend that had never been there before.  She was tired of being locked in for so long.

I think I will be going to Foxwoods more often.  They give me free hotel rooms and I am just 10 minutes from Mystic, CT and 20 minutes from the beaches in Rhode Island.  Plus, I have a friend in Westerly, RI that we like visiting.  She knows the ins and outs in the area and loves to show us around.

This time we played the slots, spent time sightseeing, ate delicious meals, laughed a lot and, most importantly, we forgot all our troubles for that weekend.  We came back renewed and with plans to travel more.

“It is difficult to live in and enjoy the moment when you are thinking about the past or worrying about the future.  No amount of regretting can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future.”― Roy Bennett

Here are some pictures:

View from Andrea Seaside Restaurant

Drinks from Guy Fieri’s restaurant. One is Guido’s Freaky Tiki (Bacardi 8, Passion Fruit & Tiki Sour), and the other is Tattooed Mojito (Bumbu Tropical Rum, Strawberry & mint, Lime Simple)

Misquamicut Beach, Rhode Island

I won 1K in a slot machine.

After treating my sister and a couple of friends to meals at Andrea Restaurant, Guy Fieri’s Kitchen and Hash House I made $1,000.00 in a slot machine.  I believe it was the Universe paying me back.  In the end when all was said and done I had a free weekend. The casino comped the room, and the slot win was enough to pay for all I spent (gas, gambling, meals, etc).

Below, not related to anything, it is a music video I enjoy.  I love when singers from different countries sing together.  Below is Ivete Sangalo from Brazil and Alejandro Sanz from Spain.

 

 

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More kindness and less assumptions!

10 Friday Oct 2014

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, EX Files, Food

≈ 39 Comments

Tags

acceptance, assumptions, Casinos, forgiveness, Foxwoods Casino, Michael Amante, missing my dog, Mohegan Sun, Opera, understanding

Mom is here!  That means a few casino trips and at least one long weekend at the Foxwoods Casino and also Mohegan Sun (they are located 15 minutes apart so it is impossible to go to one and not stop at the other).

I decided to take Ex’s mother with us.  My mother and I enjoy her company and we thought it would be a nice for her to take a break from some issues that she has been dealing with.  Yes call me crazy, but I still have a relationship with his mother.  At times I have questioned this decision but ultimately I decided that I didn’t need to punish the mother for the sins of the son.

She will mention him and also the girlfriend every now and then, but overall we don’t discuss him.  She has made it clear that she would like to see me back in his life.  I also made it clear that it will never happen, that I wish him happiness and that is the end of the story.  Throughout the last 3 years my feelings have been evolving.  In the beginning when she spoke about him my feelings were of sadness and pain, and then there was anger, now it alternates between indifference and joy.  I feel blessed not to be in his life right now and to be free from all his life entails (the good and the bad).

“Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.

The weekend was fun even though we didn’t win any money.  We didn’t lose either so that is a major win in my view!  Casinos are entertainment, to make money I go to work.   I only take whatever money I can afford to lose and make the most out of it.

We had tickets to see Michael Amante, a singer that I had never heard of.  I was we took and chance and went.  I found him very talented and entertaining.  I like that he talked to the audience and that he gave us some insight on his life and on the songs he sang. He explained he sings only about love.  He sang a little from everyone from Elvis Presley and Tony Bennett to music from Puccini and the Phantom of the Opera.

We also enjoyed great meals!  I really enjoy the restaurants there, especially at Mohegan Sun.  My mother adores the bread pudding on the buffet at Season’s so we always make a stop there.

The was an interesting episode during lunch at the buffet.  The waitress was not friendly.  She was not mean either, she was just serious.  She was probably my age, but looked older (I think that smiling people always look younger).   There was none of the “My name is ___ and I will be your server today”.  When I asked for a mixture of cranberry, orange and grapefruit juices she gave me a weird look.  I assumed she didn’t like her job and perhaps should look for another profession.  Well, I thought to myself, this is a buffet so we don’t really need a waitress other than for the drinks.

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” ― Isaac Asimov

Halfway through our meal I looked at the table next to us and saw that this couple got up and left on the table 2 dollar bills!  I was shocked that they would leave only a $2.00 tip. We are at a casino and this couple probably threw money away gambling and all they left was 2 dollars?  I know I was being a tad judgmental, and perhaps the waitress was not the nicest in the world, but she was doing her job.  I felt extremely bad and even before we were finished eating I called her over and gave her a $20.00 tip.  I normally would have left 20% or $5.00 per person whichever was higher, so giving her $20 was not crazy, but clearly was more than the table next to me. She thanked me and I went back to finishing my lunch.

We finished and got up to leave.  The waitress come after me and taps me on the shoulder.  I turned around and she hugs me and tells me how much she appreciated the tip. She looked like she would start to cry at any second.  I said I appreciated her work and felt bad that the table next to me had left so little. She wished me luck and I walked away.

I was shocked as that seemed to come out of nowhere.  I felt good that my simple gesture made an impact on her.  But more than that, this showed me that I should not ever be so quick to judge and assume anything about others.  I should always give people the benefit of the doubt.

I don’t want to make excuses for her as I still think that everyone in the service industry should always have a smile on their faces, but we don’t always have the whole picture.  Not everyone is able to hide the pain and troubles they are going through. We never know what battles someone is fighting, even if they are putting up a happy front.

“Whenever you feel like criticizing any one…just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

When we returned I dropped Ex’s mom at one of his businesses since I don’t want to go to his house (she moved in with him after leaving her Midwest home in February).  I actually would be totally indifferent seeing him, but I don’t want to see C. (the dog).  I miss C. immensely and I know he misses me.  I don’t want him to think I am returning only to abandon him all over again.

Later Ex’s Mom texted me to thank me for the great weekend and she added: “You make it fun to live!”  I thought that was such a great compliment.

I leave you with a song that Michael Amante sang – it reminds me that I should go see more operas:

 

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