Tag Archives: NYC

BE HAPPY! NOW!

25 Friday Oct 2019

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Everything ends.

With that in my mind I try to be more conscious of all my blessings.  Of that I have tons and there is no bigger blessing than opportunities.

Lately I have been feeling that I am on a roller-coaster. Between being busy and bracing myself to be busy I am not fully experiencing and enjoying anything.  I am also not taking advantages of opportunities and just accumulating stress.

In Brazil we have a saying that loosely translated means: “I was happy and I didn’t know it”

So many times we don’t realize how good someone or something is, until they are gone.  When don’t honor the people around us, we are not grateful for our jobs, for the food on the table, etc.  Am I taking things for granted?  That I am sure of it!

All that came to mind  today when I realized that this is the last year I will be working in Manhattan.  It is a done deal, we will be moving out of NY City.  Have I taken advantage of the fact that I have been here every single weekday for the past 19 years?  Did I take enough bites of this Big Apple? Chances are I have not.

I have done a lot, gone to many shows, restaurants, bars, events, etc, but there is still so much I haven’t done.  So many museums, galleries, shows, sights, etc that I left for later.  It was all here, easily accessible, and yet so many I kept postponing.

What if later never comes? Can I come to NY again after I stop working here? Yes, absolutely, but not as easy and seamless as already being here.

Why do I worry so much about missed opportunities? While worrying I miss new ones. The key is to stop worrying about that and focus on not missing new ones.  And if I can’t find need ones I need to go about creating new ones.

I need to slow down and be aware of every moment. A lot of my time is spent looking at the past or planning for the future. I guess I am a combination of anxious and depressive. And that is not a joke, it is a realization.

What I want written on my headstone is:  “She never let an opportunity pass by.  She was blessed and she knew it”

“There was another life that I might have had, but I am having this one.” – Kazuo Ishiguro

While I ponder all that is left to do in NYC before I no longer work here I may be able to cross some items off of that list in the next couple of weeks.  Tomorrow at 6am I will be at JFK airport picking up a friend from childhood and her husband.  He is coming to NY to run the NYC marathon.  They don’t speak English and they have no clue of what they want to do while here. So it will be up to my sister and I to entertain them for 10 days.

My aunt, God Bless her soul, used to say:  “Guests are like fish.  After 3 days they start to stink.”

I will keep you guys informed on how bad this stench gets.  All kidding aside what I dread most is the absence of my routine.

“Help others without any reason and give without the expectation of receiving anything in return.”-― Roy T. Bennett

On the subject of where and when to go skiing I came up with the following:  Skiing in Keystone in the first week of December.  I didn’t book anything yet, but I feel good about deciding at least where and when.  I also plan on something overseas in February.

“It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires a great deal of strength to decide what to do.” ― Elbert Hubbard

Be aware, be in the moment, be happy! Slow down and get going!

nyc, mANHA

All I want for Christmas is a lustful love affair!!

21 Thursday Dec 2017

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, EX Files, Finding Me

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“I will be waiting here….
For your silence to break,
For your soul to shake,
For your love to wake!”
― Rumi 

I went on a second date with the 34 year old accountant.  It was not really a second date, it was more like a friendly meeting.  I had already mentioned to him that this would be just friendship.  We did kiss on the first date and there were some sparks but I thought the age difference would be too much for this to develop into something meaningful.

I met him in the lobby of the building he works at.  From there we walked to 42nd street to take the subway to 74th street to go to the bakery.  It was rush hour and the trains were packed.  I am so glad that I don’t have to take the subway every day.  I take the Metro North train which, even though crowded,  is much more civilized than the subway at rush hour.

“Reason is powerless in the expression of Love.” – Rumi

We got out of the subway and walked a few blocks to Levain bakery.  I got cookies for me and my co-worker.  It was a tiny space and there was a line.  The smell in there was heavenly.  The workers were all happy and smiley.  I didn’t eat any right then and there because we were going to have dinner first.  I was craving a burger for the longest time and wanted a Shake Shack Smoke Shack first.  Luckily there was one a few blocks away.

The burger was delicious, specially since I hadn’t had one in awhile.  M is a really nice guy.  The conversation just flowed.  He tried convincing me to date him but he was not pushy and accepted friendship.

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” – Rumi

After the burger he asked if I wanted to see his apartment.  Normally that would probably be an invitation to make out but in this case I knew I would be safe from making out and from being attacked. I knew enough of his personal information and had spoken to him enough to know that it would be fine.   He just moved in and wanted to show off his apartment.

I don’t recommend anyone going to anyone’s house on a second date or 3rd or 4th if they don’t know the person well.  Everyone please be safe out there!

“Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” – Rumi

He lives on the Upper East side.  It is a small apartment but it is in an awesome location, great building, has great closet space, including a walk-in,  and a balcony with a good view.  I told him that he needs to clean and organize better.  That was not nice of me, but I figure it is a good tip if want to bring girls home.  He has just moved in so I am sure eventually it will be better.

After he showed me the apartment, we sat on the couch and talked for little while. Then he walked me outside where I got into a cab.  There was a hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye.  I have so much respect for him not trying to kiss me while in his apartment. I think I did expect him to try and me to say no, so I was so happy that he did listen to me and didn’t try changing my mind.  Since then we have been texting and will probably hang out together when he returns from vacation in Florida.

“You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.” – Rumi

Somewhere between getting cookies and getting into a cab to go home I realized I am being a hypocrite.  I told him (and you guys) that the reason I was not going to date him it was the age difference.  The truth is that if there was enough chemistry I probably would embark on a relationship with him even with the age difference.  Even knowing that I would probably get hurt in the end.  There goes the virtuous person I thought I was.

Perhaps is the hormones speaking or perhaps is having AL in my mind.   A girl has needs and it has been way too long… and getting longer.

Since  AL popped up in my mind accidentally I can’t help thinking about the amazing times we had together, in and out of bed. I want those feelings and excitement back.

“Words are a pretext. It is the inner bond that draws one person to another, not words.” – Rumi

The other day I contemplated reaching out to him.

I didn’t! I am not even sure what I wanted to accomplish.  That would have been a colossal mistake.  He is married, and I am sure our chemistry didn’t miraculously disappear. I do miss the friendship that we had after breaking up.  Even though it was laced with flirting. If we tried reconnecting it would probably revert back to flirting in no time.  Flirting can always lead to something more.

On this one point I am not confused or hypocritical about: a married man is someone I am not interested in getting involved romantically with.

I don’t like how things ended between AL and I but I realize that we would probably never be able to have just a friendship.  There was too much chemistry.  I also cannot say that he really hurt me as I really never gave him my heart to hurt.   I guess I was mostly disappointed.

“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.”- Rumi

Someone on a dating site the other day asked me what I am looking for.  I normally say that I am looking for companionship.  I want to find someone to have a committed relationship with.  Now I don’t know what I want anymore.

I am getting to the point that I don’t believe in everlasting anything.  I WANT PASSION!  Young or old, I want passion.  I want positive energy, a zest for life, I want adventure and not cold tired complacency.  This has nothing to do with age, but a willingness to live!

Perhaps is my way of really not committing to anyone.  I keep always having hurdles for people to jump over.  When I meet someone either just online or in person I look for the problems first.  I always think how this person will not fit in my life and it is not good for me.  In a way I am not giving anyone a real chance. Of course, the rare time I am willing to give them a chance I don’t hear back from them.  Chances are that if I heard back from them I would find a reason to dismiss them.

“Forget safety.
Live where you fear to live.
Destroy your reputation.
Be notorious.” – Rumi

Today is a day that I feel like taking risks.  I would risk pain to just feel alive.  I guess today is a lustful day!  It is a Rumi kind of day.  A day that makes you want to dance with the possibilities.  A day that welcomes pain as part of the path to pleasure.

Something needs to be said about passion, about giving yourself to someone  no matter the circumstances.  I look for the fairy-tale, for my soul mate but I will take the torrid love affair in the mean time.  They make you feel like dancing.  They make you feel alive.  They twist your bed sheets and your brain.  They make you think unmentionables.  They make you leap and fly.

If you are confused by this post, sorry so am I!

“Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames” – Rumi

Day 12: No New York City marathon on Sunday :(

03 Saturday Nov 2012

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Slowly things have been getting back to some kind of normal (for some of us). Still no power in our offices but hopefully by Monday Con Edison will come through.

The New York City Marathon has been canceled, not postponed, CANCELED! I am a little sad over it!

I am sad because the Marathon is part of the New York City history and also for all the athletes that eagerly waited and trained for it and have come from all over the world.

There was so much controversy over it, that I do understand Mayor Bloomberg making this decision. Some boroughs, specially Staten Island were complaining that resources and personnel that is needed for the hurricane relief was going to be used for the race, even after the mayor making assurances to the opposite.

I have electricity and my apartment has not been destroyed by the hurricane so I am in no position to judge, and that is not my intention. I understand both sides of the argument for or against the race.

I hope that Staten Island and all other boroughs and towns get the much needed help they need.

I am going home – Sandy or no Sandy! – Day 8

29 Monday Oct 2012

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Staying in a hotel to be near work during this storm was probably not one of my best ideas, so this morning I packed up and checked out.

I am at work now and a co-worker that lives in the same town I do drove in so that he can take me home.

I have offers from friends to go to their house but I think I rather stay at my apartment, but I will re-think that if need be.  There is something comforting about being in your own bed at times like this, but safety is number one.

Thank you so much for all the prayers and positive thoughts! They are all welcomed and very much appreciated!

I am praying that we are all safe no matter where we are and what we are doing! May peace be in our hearts and minds!

A blessed day to all!

 

Day 7: I carry it in my heart

29 Monday Oct 2012

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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I go through Grand Central Station every week day and it is normally a obstacle course trying to navigate it among the commuters and tourists.

Today it was very different.  This evening Grand Central Station was a ghost town with guards standing at the doors just letting people out and informing the people trying to get in that the station is closed.

I feel odd today.  I am not sure what to think.  Is this Hurricane Sandy a sure thing or just media hype? It feels weird leaving my apartment and my brand new table behind. Is everything going to be there in a couple of days when I return?

I am feeling weird sitting alone in a hotel room in New York City.  I am staying in Manhattan to be close to work since the trains stopped 7 pm tonight.  I am trying not to let the victim in me come out.  I am trying not to feel so alone in the most populous city in the USA.  At times like this is very hard not to feel all alone in the world. I need to snap out of it.

My favorite show, Amazing Race is on.  Today they are in Bangladesh, and seeing some of the day laborers working in such poor conditions, and seeing all the kids on the street with huge smiles on their faces snaps me out of the “poor me” mentality real quick.  I am blessed for so many reasons.  I have so many reasons to smile. More than the material comforts I have been blessed with a rich soul and a rich heart.

I know how to appreciate everything I have, specially my breath.  Having life is the greatest gift of all and that is enough!  So, to spend even a minute feeling sorry for myself it would be such a waste of precious time.   I don’t need to have people physically right next to me to know that I am loved.  My family is in my heart and in my thoughts and I am in theirs.

To quote E. E. Cummings:

“i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)”

 

hhhh

An amazing night on the town! – Day 5

26 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by in Dating

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I had a great night last night,  hives and all!

My date (we shall call him AL) and I took a pedicab for 10 blocks as it is impossible to find a cab on Thursday nights in Manhattan.  Price: $52.00!!!  AL thought that the price was okay as he had already heard horror stories of people being charged $450 for a ride around Central Park.  So if you ever in New York City and decide to take a pedicab, please make sure that you ask the price first!

We had a great meal at Rosie O’Grady’s.  He had Filet Mignon Medallions and I had Fish and chips! We had a very attentive and funny waiter! All was perfect!

Then we walked a block to the Roseland Ballroom.  We got there as the Opening Act was finishing.

I headed to the bathrooms downstairs and was shocked at the length of the line to the ladies room.  There were at least 100 ladies in the line.  Note to self: next time go to the ladies room at the restaurant.

They have the same number of stalls for men as they do for women, so every once in awhile they make the men wait and they let the women use the men’s room.  I could not believe the reaction of some guys,  just downright gross, rude and obnoxious, all because they had to wait for a few minutes.  I wonder if the complainers have girlfriends or wives, I know that they must have had a mother, and she would not be proud!

The Counting Crows took the stage and it was great! I wish I knew more of their songs or perhaps that they played more of the songs I knew, but I love Adam Duritz’s voice so it was great no matter what he sang.  I sang along with the songs I knew and I dance to most songs.  Dancing always makes my mood even better!

After the show we were able to find a cab and went to the Top of the Strand, a roof top bar that had an amazing view of the Empire State Building!  At that moment I felt incredibly blessed to be able to be where I was at that moment! I feel blessed that I am able to recognize how lucky I am!

They had music going at the bar, and even though there was no one dancing, I danced to a couple of songs! Then I just sat down and enjoyed the view.

I realize now that I have no clue what time we got to the concert, what time we left, what time I went to bed. Perhaps a sign of a great date is when you have no concern for time at all!

AL? What can I say about AL?  It turns out I could say a lot, but I will refrain from saying too much at this moment.  Just know that he was his usual great self, funny, attentive and great to be with. Things are going slow and well! Just what I need right now!