“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” ―
I hadn’t seen Matthew for a while, perhaps because I have been getting to work at 7am and he arrives at the corner of Madison and 34th later than that.
I have mentioned him on different posts. My heart breaks for him and all the other homeless people. I try to stop and talk to them if I feel it is safe. Unfortunately a lot of them are afflicted by mental illness. I know what is like to feel invisible (I have never been homeless, but I will always be a 17 year old immigrant). The hunger oftentimes is not for food.
We talk about everything. We talk about our families and plans. He asks about my dating life. Even he can’t figure out why I am still single. He probably thinks what everyone thinks: “There must be something wrong with her”. 🙂
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ―
He is so upbeat, specially this morning. I want to believe that he really believes everything he is saying and not just telling me what I want to hear. Listening to him speak one would think he will be off the streets in a day or two. Not the case, and I fear we both know it.
I tell him to keep positive, pray for guidance, trust in God – all the things I tell anyone going through any hardship. I want him to go to his father for help, but he always has some excuse why not yet. About a year ago he mentioned visiting his father, but according to him, he returned here to get his life together.
“More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate.” ―
Today he told me that he worked with someone washing awnings a couple of times this week and there is one lady in the hotel industry that promised to get him a job cleaning hotel rooms. Fingers crossed.
He made a point of showing me his nails and saying: “Look how clean they are. I am the homeless guy with the cleanest nails in NY City”.
We also talked about that video he appeared on. I mentioned it here: https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.com/2018/12/28/more-good-more-light-more-love-in-2019/
He was upset about it. He says he found out it is not really about philanthropy but a commercial for Amazon Prime Now. I don’t know if that is true or not. He mentioned had he known that he wouldn’t have signed the release.
He was worried most about his father. He said: “Can you imagine if my father sees it?”
I pacified him by saying: “If he hasn’t seen it by now he probably never will.”
“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” ―
Isn’t that amazing that some of us, no matter our ages still care what our parents think? I have been living on my own in another country since I was 17 years old and it is extremely important to me that I am as good and generous as my parents think I am. It is important to me that my family is proud of me.
Unfortunately sometimes is tough going through life with my mother in my mind watching my every step.
I gave Matthew an apple and $10.00. Oftentimes by the time I get to my office and look out the window I see him in line at the coffee cart, specially in the winter. I like seeing that, but really I give to him and others with a good heart and good intentions, but once the money leaves my hands it is no longer mine. It is theirs and they can do whatever they want.
I walked away waving good bye and wishing him a good day. He yelled back: “Marry me!”
… and I thought I would never hear that in my lifetime! 🙂
“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” ―