Advertisements

Another day, another dollar

Tags

, , , , ,

“Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days.” ― Zig Ziglar

Hip Issues:  I went to a hip specialist.  Looking at the X-ray he said that things didn’t look too bad but he needed a MRI to check things further.  I think he was a bit disappointed that it was not something serious that required surgery.  This doctor is very involved in new technology and surgery.

He said I have arthritis on my lower back but nothing too worrisome.  Because of insurance issues I am choosing to postpone the MRI until the beginning of next year.  In the meantime I will be making more of an effort to lose the extra weight I have gained in the last few months.  Any extra weight adds to the pain and discomfort.

“The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now” ― Zig Ziglar

Date with the writer/attorney: On Thursday afternoon I went to his apartment.  He is selling his apartment so I was curious to see what over 2 Million dollars would get me in Downtown New York City.  He gave me a tour, showed me pictures and talked about the adventures of his youth. 

It is a cute apartment and the best feature is the patio and the car spot.  An apartment with a spot to park a car in New York City is unheard of.  It comes with a $2,800.00 condominium maintenance fee.  That is more than my mortgage, condo fee, taxes and insurance combined. I will not be buying an apartment in NY City any time soon.

He gave up the idea of running for Congress and will now dedicate his time to writing. Not having to work for money he can do whatever he fancies.  I can see the fun in that.

We then went to a French Restaurant called Bar 6. It was an early dinner and I was not that hungry so I just got a grilled cheese and fries.  It was good food  Then he called an Uber to take me to Grand Central station. While the date was nice I still didn’t feel any sparks and I don’t think it will appear no matter how many times I see him.  We may just become friends.

“If you go out looking for friends, you’re going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”  – ― Zig Ziglar

Work: It has been challenging dealing with a new employee that is bringing a whole new set of issues.  I am trying to see it as a growing experience.  New employee, new product we will be brokering, new customers, new compliance issues.  I can see the headaches to come… and also the opportunities.

“Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there” -― Zig Ziglar
.
Family:  I am so blessed to have a loving family.  I am blessed to still have my parents alive and well. Thinking of that makes me smile and be happy.  I have been really devoted to be with my mother while she is visiting.  I have been taking the train to work at 5:45am and leaving work at 2pm so I am home early to be with her while my sister goes to her job at the restaurant.  I love this schedule, but after Mom leaves I have to go back to leaving after 4pm.
.
“The more you are grateful for what you have the more you will have to be grateful for” – Zig Ziglar
.

Dating: It has taken a back seat.  I am speaking to one guy that I will meet after my Mom leaves, but that is it.  I haven’t found the motivation to actively be online.  I am sure I will go back to it, but for now I am okay with this break.

“Make today worth remembering.” – Zig Ziglar

 

Advertisements

Busy living

Tags

, , , , , , ,

“It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?” ― Henry David Thoreau

I am sorry my dear friends for my silence.  It was the usual busyness of life getting in the way of the fun stuff.  I promised to be more present .

I arrived from Brazil on Sunday.  It was an exhausting trip.  I had 4 dental visits and worked on some chores at my mom’s house that needed attention.  I also spent time hosting friends that often stop by to visit.  I hate to say it but sometimes I just want more peace and quiet and less visitors.

I came back to NY exhausted but happy.  Happiness can take many forms.  There is beauty and happiness in being exhausted.  My body is tired but I am re-energized by results and accomplishments.  I am blessed I still have my parents so any time spent with them and helping them is well worth it.

Dating:

The chef/restaurant owner: He still sends me brownies but we haven’t gone on any more dates. He was busy, then I was busy, but the truth is neither one of us is really that interested.  My sister is still working for him so it is best not to have any entanglements anyway.

The  lawyer/writer: Before I left for Brazil we had one date at a Brazilian restaurant called Plataforma in NY.  He is a non-practicing attorney and a writer. I do love writers!  According to him he has family money so he doesn’t need to work for money.  He spends time pursuing different interests.

He is talking about running for Congress and asked if I would be supportive.  Politics?  really?  I feel like running away screaming.  Still, he was extremely nice and intelligent.  Even though I didn’t get any sparks I have agreed to meet him next Thursday for dinner.  Stay tuned.

“They refused to live in these moments right now. And they got busy in turning everything they come across, into a memory, which they could visit in the future.” ― Akshay Vasu, The Abandoned Paradise: Unraveling the beauty of untouched thoughts and dreams

Mom is in town, so the usual gambling and shopping are the plans for this weekend.

Wishing everyone an awesome weekend!  May light and blessings pave your path and permeate your days!

 

A blonde and a pig walking down the street

Tags

, , , ,

“A disciplined mind leads to happiness, and an undisciplined mind leads to suffering.” – Dalai Lama XIV 

A, my friend who is a natural doctor, hadn’t been feeling well the past couple of months. He was not even up to meeting up. He is one of the healthiest and upbeat person that I know, so I was worried.  He treats his body, mind and soul extremely well. He meditates, he eats right, reads the rights books. He surrounds himself with things that promote his well-being.  I am envious of his discipline.  It is hard to hear that he is not well, so I tried to keep in touch encouraging him texting some quotes every now and then.

Finally his mood and overall well-being improved enough that we met for breakfast. It was like old times. We have the best talks ever. Long conversations about the joys and difficulties of life.

After breakfast we went to Mrs Greens. Food shopping with him is an event.  He will read every label and tell me what is good for me and why.

He mentioned being invited to a backyard party that evening but he wasn’t sure if he would go.  He asked if he decided to go if I would go with him.  Originally I said no as I thought I was going to have a date that evening.

Later when I realized that I had gotten some dates mixed up, I texted him and said that we should go.  After he agreed I got a bit apprehensive about going somewhere that I knew no one and wasn’t even invited.  I know the benefits of getting out of my shell and I also know that I can make conversation with a doorknob and have it answer me back so I knew I would be okay.

“Everyone you will ever meet knows something you don’t.” – Bill Nye

And the party was better than okay, it was a lot fun!!

It was a very small get together.  It was at the house of a renowned Broadway producer/talent scout/ among many other things.  I don’t want to mention his name or the guest’s names as I am always leery of invading someone’s privacy. His guests included a classical musician and her husband, a lawyer, a published writer, an older retired couple that I assume had theater connections and a neighbor.  There was also a bunch of young aspiring performing artists that were his interns and were helping with the party.

We ate great food and drank great wine.  I even attempted to smoke a cigar but failed miserably as I am not a smoker of anything. The writer talked about overcoming drug addiction and homelessness and becoming a writer.  I love listening to writers and also to attorneys as I am fascinated by both professions.   The attorney didn’t talk about his profession. He pretty much acted like I do when someone asks me to talk about mine… there is nothing interesting to talk about.

Soon the evening turned into a joke telling festival.  I am not sure how it got started but I told the first joke.  It was a joke about a blonde.  I am the worst at telling jokes and I only know one or two anyway.  We didn’t stay very late as my friend had to work early the next day.

There was kissing when he dropped me off at my building door.  I need to stop this business of “kissing my friend”.  I really appreciate the friendship and don’t want to mess that up.  If I had to choose between a friendship or a romantic relationship with him I would choose the friendship.

Oh well, a kiss is not the end of the world. I will close my mouth next time.

“We are who we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” Kurt Vonnegut

And here is the stupid joke I told:   A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks “Where did you get that?”
The pig says, “I won her in a raffle!” .

Closing doors and making choices

Tags

, , , ,

G. sent me the text above.

He thought I couldn’t resist it.  I did.  I will not reply. I will not fall for the silly attempts.

I let him get back into my life once, thinking that we could build a great friendship after I realized that romance was not in the cards.   Then he made those comments about immigrants.

He was insensitive and never apologized for being so.  Perhaps if he had apologized the friendship could have been saved.

Instead he continued on with his hurtful comments, making matters even worst. He seemed intent on hurting me.

Now it pains me to ignore him. It pains me to ignore anyone.  But I need to stop leaving the door open for anyone to just waltz back in and hurt me again.

I have the power over who I let into my heart and life.  I am using that power.  I am choosing sanity and good energy.

G. don’t bother knocking, the door is locked for you. Don’t try the window either!

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” – Roy T. Bennett

 

3 dates and a job

Tags

, , , , , ,

 

My dating life is going slow as I haven’t been devoting much time to it.  Online dating does become like a second job sometimes.

I have managed however to have 3 dates with one guy.  That in itself is astonishing since I am mostly a one date girl.

On the first date we went for a late drink at a wine bar. I had prosecco, he had a couple of different red wines, and we shared a cheese platter.  There were no fireworks but he was nice and friendly.  He asked me on a second date that night and I said yes.

During that first date I mentioned that my sister was now living with me and looking for a job.  The next day he texted me and asked if my sister wanted to work some hours at his restaurant/catering business while she is going on interviews for something in her field.  I showed my sister the text and she agreed to go meet him at the restaurant the next day. She was hired to work 3 days a week.

On the second date he cooked for me at his restaurant. He made crostini with avocado, smoked salmon and capers on top, paired with prosecco (he remembered I like it) for the appetizers.  For the entree he made flank steak (which I had mentioned I liked), spaetzle (German egg noodle) and spinach, paired with red wine.  For dessert I had a choice of brownie sundae or ice cream sandwich. By then I was so full that I just had a chocolate chip cookie.  The photos above are not that great as I took them in the kitchen and not at the table.

For the third date we had drinks at an Italian restaurant and then went to a lounge with loud dance music as it was the only thing open after 11pm.  Still we found a quiet corner and managed to be able to talk.

I am still not sure about chemistry.  He is a great guy, but also a gentleman and there hasn’t been anything other than a peck on the lips.  Until there is a kiss I cannot tell where this will go.

He has 3 kids between the ages of 10 and 14 and he is busy with them every day.  He is also very busy with the restaurant and catering, so we haven’t met each other again after those 3 dates.  For now we have a texting friendship and that suits me fine, but if we ever start a romantic relationship the lack of time would probably annoy me.

It is a tricky dynamic to mix work with romance even though I am not the one working for him.  At first I was overthinking this, then I decided to relax and go with the flow.  First, this is just a part time gig for my sister and will not last forever.  Second, I have a feeling that he and I will just become good friends and not romantic mates.

I guess the message for me with this post is to keep an open mind.  Open mind to go  a second and third date even if there are no fireworks in the first.  Open mind to think that it is okay to have my sister work for someone I just met and that I can possibly have a relationship with.  Open mind to not shut him down for his lack of time and let things develop.  Open mind to try a different route.

Wishing you all a blessed and fun weekend!

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” – Isaac Asimov

 

Once an illegal immigrant, always an illegal immigrant

Tags

, , , , , , ,

“It’s an universal law– intolerance is the first sign of an inadequate education. An ill-educated person behaves with arrogant impatience, whereas truly profound education breeds humility.” – Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn

G., who I thought would be a good friend showed me his true colors.  We were texting back and forth the other day when he made a rude comment about the fact that I was an illegal immigrant once.  I replied that his comment was not cool.

He said that he was making fun of me when I was 17 years old and first arrived in this country and not of the present successful American citizen I had become.  As if that made it okay.  Because I was able to find a law to fit in (applying as an unskilled laborer), and also because I was lucky to win the Green Lottery I am now immune to the attacks on illegal immigrants.

I said I sympathize with all the illegal immigrants and their search for a better life.  They could be me.  I was them.  Again I explained I found his remarks very insensitive.  I wanted him to see it from my point of view. It didn’t work.

He continued trying to justify his remarks by going on and on with ignorant blanket statements.  At one point he asked:  “what will happen when the free beer and chips run out?” implying that the immigrants come here only to get things for free.

That was even more insulting to me as I never took a single dime from the government for anything.  I know some illegals do use and abuse, but to generalize it is ignorance.

“Whatever the cost of our libraries, the price is cheap compared to that of an ignorant nation.” Walter Cronkite

I said to him:  “My huge tax bill pays for services and freebies for tons of lazy Americans and illegals alike.”

This is not complaining about my tax bill, I am paying a lot because I am making a lot.  I see it as a reflection of my success. I said that to him to remind him that not all immigrants are liabilities, some are incredible assets.

This is also not to say that I don’t believe in public assistance services.  They are very much needed and should be used by anyone in need. I want my tax money to help others.

I think deep down inside he resents me for being in a better financial condition than he is. He also resents me because I said I didn’t want to see him romantically again.  He found the perfect way to attack me by attacking people like me.

I said to him that I agreed that we needed an Immigration Reform and I can see both sides of the argument.  I added that I rather not talk about a subject that we clearly have opposite views on. He then called me a Liberal, I called him a Trumpster and he continued his speech.

I don’t have a problem discussing difficult subjects with people but in this case I didn’t want to waste my breath with someone that clearly was set on one way of thinking and no matter what I said wasn’t willing to listen.  He seemed intent on hurting me. Such ignorance!

The Immigration topic is not a simple one.  I can see both sides of the argument.  I choose to view it from the point of love and understanding.  We are all one under God and on this Earth.  Let’s see our fellow human as a person no matter where he comes from, no matter his color, race, sexual orientation, point of view, etc.

“All things truly wicked start from innocence.” – Ernest Hemingway

Let’s step on into each other’s shoes and imagine how it feels.  I expect more from the people that know me and know how hard I have worked to be where I am now and to have all that I have.  I expected more from him.

It shocks me that I didn’t know how he felt this whole time. It is true that I avoided speaking of Trump. It is true that I would be dying to see him, then when I was with him things wouldn’t go quite right.  There was something off.  Now, looking back, I see hints that I should have picked up on.

I really dodged a bullet.  He is not boyfriend material and he is not friend material.   I hope that he reflects on our conversation and perhaps realize how insensitive he was. Perhaps a little light bulb of sensitivity will eventually go on.

I doubt it!

Racism and nonacceptance were always here, but I blame Trump for making it okay for people to attack each other and spout misinformation.  The President is on Twitter attacking whoever he thinks doesn’t fit his idea of great America.  Why would I think the average Joe would be more considerate, more understanding?

Love is the way out.  Love is the only way.  I am choosing Love.  I am choosing to send love to G., but I am choosing not to be his friend and be subjected to his views anymore.

“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” – Isaac Asimov

Life is here and now!

Tags

, , , , ,

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.” – Steve Maraboli

There are calls to return, tenants to pacify, appointments to get to, passports to renew, tickets to buy, trips to organize, emails to write, deadlines to meet at work, and a whole host of other things to do, with new items added daily.

There is always a decision to be made  and some place I need to be.  There is always something needing my attention and a fire to put out.

With each item off of my list I feel this enormous sense of accomplishment… only to add another 2 items to it.

I think to myself:  When I am done with this and that thing then I will get to relax. When I solve this and that problem I will get to have fun and enjoy my life.

The stories I tell myself always start with “When”:

When I lose weight…

When I find the One…

When my hip gets healed…

When I get that big bonus at work…

When I learn to speak French…

What foolishness! What a bunch of lies.

I forget 1 thing:  All of this doing, going to doctors, waiting in line, returning phone calls, searching for the One, working, trying to lose weight, failing at losing weight, etc, etc… All of this busyness is LIFE!

Life is happening now, and it is beautiful.  Ralph Waldo Emerson was absolutely right when he said: “Life is a journey, not a destination”

In trying so hard to get somewhere, some invisible destination, some goal, perhaps unattainable, I lose the beauty of the moment, I lose the present.  I miss the details, I miss the simplicity.

I forget to be here Now because I am too busy being there in the Future.  I get lost in the busyness of the moment, not realizing that that very moment is a blessing.

There will always be something to do, some hurdle to jump, some obstacle to overcome.  After one deadline is met there is always another one to meet. That is how life works.

How boring it would be if there were nothing to do and if there were no challenges.  I think there is some old saying that goes something like this: “calm waters don’t make great sailors”.  I think we all strive to be great sailors in this huge ocean called life.

So here is to being more present and enjoying every moment, even if difficult.  I will remind myself that the more life throws at me the better I become.  I am on the way to invincibility.

“Life doesn’t get easier or more forgiving, we get stronger and more resilient.” – Steve Maraboli

 

It is just a train.

Tags

, , , , , ,

“Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.” -Kurt Vonnegut

Yesterday I missed the train by seconds.

It is a weird feeling.  To watch it close its doors while you are steps away.  You watch it leave and leave you behind.

You feel unwanted.  You feel neglected.  You feel forgotten. You feel silly and foolish.  You feel as if you did something wrong.

What is the message here?

Do I need to get up earlier?  Do I need to walk faster?  I had gotten up at the same time I normally do and walked at the same speed I normally do. Did the train leave early?

This morning I got up earlier.  I walked faster.  I got to the train station earlier.  I waited and waited.

The train was 10 minutes late! 🙂

What is the message here?

Maybe there is no message.  It is just a train behaving like a train.

Life is such a joker!

Tomorrow… tomorrow we don’t know yet.

“The strongest of all warriors are these two — Time and Patience.” – Leo Tolstoy

Getting back on the horse

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.”  – Charlotte Bronte

Since the upsetting email that G sent me I thought I would never speak to him again. Then he started texting me and I didn’t have it in me to ignore him.  I replied.

We started texting every single day as we had done before.  We didn’t work out as a couple but I still think he is a good person and worth of being friends with.

I had stayed away from online dating when I thought he and I could have a future together.  Now I am back at it again.  Some may think that I didn’t really care for him if I am been able to flip from girlfriend to just friend so quickly.

I did care.  I cared a lot.  I thought he was the One.  I had already envisioned a future together.  And then it all fell apart, for no apparent reason. I have 2 choices:  stay stuck there, on the mourning of a relationship or move on.

I am moving on.  I am not being cold.  I am being a realist.  I am saving myself time and energy.  If something doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work, move on.  There is no sense in spending time thinking about it, trying to reflect on what went wrong or why, or even dreaming about it working again.

I embraced thinking he was the One, now I am embracing him as a friend.

“Embrace who you are and your divine purpose. Identify the barriers in your life, and develop discipline, courage and the strength to permanently move beyond them, and keep moving forward.” – Germany Kent

I am back on Match and POF.  My first date since starting again was last night.

I went out with B, he is in Finance and works for a museum in New York City.

He chose an expensive Scandinavian restaurant called Agern located inside Grand Central Station.  I commute every day out of GCS and had never noticed it before. It is hidden in plain sight.

After taking a look at the menu and prices online I told him that perhaps he should choose a place more reasonable. He said that he heard good things about this restaurant and he was glad to take me there.

The ambiance was great, it was quiet and not too bright.  The service was amazing.  The food was good but nothing that I would be looking forward to eating again.  I guess fancy Scandinavian food is not for me.

We shared 2 appetizers, 3 entrees and 1 dessert. We had only one cocktail each and the bill was $250 with tip – I sneaked a peek as he was signing the credit card receipt.

B was such a great person. He was interested and interesting.  The conversation flowed.  Three hours went by and we didn’t even have a chance to talk about his favorite subject: music.

I didn’t get an initial romantic vibe from the date, but I think that a second date may be necessary to make sure.

He texted saying that he had a lovely time and would like to see me again. I said it would be great.

to be continued…

“If I cease searching, then, woe is me, I am lost. That is how I look at it – keep going, keep going come what may.” – Vincent van Gogh

Vitamins, supplements and positive thinking

Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

Vitamins

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” – Charles M. Schulz

A friend and reader asked me what natural health products I was taking. I decided to reply to her in this post.

I started taking supplements and vitamins regularly when I was having gum and dental issues December last year. While talking to a friend that is a Naturopath he suggested I take products to improve my gums.  The products were meant to speed healing, lessen the inflammation, promote gum growth, improve my immune system and making sure that my digestive system is in tip top shape.

Gums are not supposed to grow or regenerated, but I believe in the impossible and so does my doctor friend.  If the body has the ability to heal and regenerate why not my gums?

And it is with that faith that at then end of December last year I started taking the following:

Ester-C & Flavonoids – from Pure Encapsulations

Calcarea Fluorica Cell Salt – from Hyland’s

Growth-Gen – from Phyto-Gen – Genestra-Seroyal

Ginkgo Bud – from Phyto-Gen – Genestra-Seroyal

HMF Intensive Probiotic – Genestra-Seroyal

Energy  Boost 70  Fulvic Concentrate – from Morningstar Minerals

Grapenol – Antioxidant Support – from Genestra-Seroyal

Unda Numbered Compounds – Therapeutic Drops Numbers 8, 33, 312

Zinc 30 – from Pure Encapsulations

In March I had a dizzy spell and I was tested for Adrenal Fatigue.  My friend thought that stress and menopause were the culprit.  The saliva test revealed among other things that I was gluten intolerant.  At that time my friend made the following changes to what I was taking:

Added Adaptocrine K-2 from Apex Energetics

Unda Numbers 3, 17 and 50 instead of 8,33,and 312

TonicGen instead of Growth-Gen

He also wanted me on a gluten free diet and an anti-inflammation diet.  He believed that going gluten free would lessen or completely get rid of the chronic hives I have and would also make me feel better all around.  He believed my body was revolting against me.

Now in August I still take all the above with exception of the Unda Numbers. I just never got more when it was finished.

I have also started taking the following:

Liqua-D (Vitamin D) – from Apex Energetics

B Complex – from Pure Encapsulations

Collagen Peptides – from Sports Research

Glucosamina Condroitina with MSM – from Doctor’s Best

BioSil – from Natural Factors

Now you may ask: Does it work?  Have you seen results?

I don’t know for sure.  This is what I know.

My gums:  I went to the periodontist yesterday for a check-up and he said my gums are beautiful.  The inflammation has not returned, but it doesn’t mean it will not, so I continue to be vigilant and take extra care cleaning my teeth.

The chronic hives:  Magically it has gotten a lot better.  I say magically because I have been extremely lax about paying attention to what I eat.

My hips:  The pain is getting worse to the point that I finally scheduled a doctor.  I did notice that the Glucosamina and Collagen helps some.

Energy level:  That comes and goes, some days I don’t want to get up.  Perhaps I am just being lazy.

For the most part I have been faithful to taking the supplements.

I was being faithful to the collagen until I read that I have to take them on an empty stomach, either first thing in the morning or before bed, since then I forget it most of the time.  It is a powder to mix in liquid and for some reason I never remember.

For some reason I also don’t always remember about the Mineral concentrate. Those are drops to be added to any liquid.

As far as the gluten free diet I attempt gluten free for a few days but it didn’t last.  As far as the inflammation diet I didn’t really follow it, but then again a lot of the items on that list I already don’t eat.

One thing I need to do is to keep a food journal.  It helped me keep accountable in the past so I need to do it again.  It will also help me see what foods trigger my symptoms.

Overall I am happy I am taking all of these as it makes me feel pro-active. But Vitamins and supplements are not enough.

I also know that I need to address what I eat.  Health and overall well being starts in the kitchen with the items I choose to eat.  The time of eating whatever I want whenever I want seems to be nearing the end.  I am still choosing moderation, but some foods just seem to be my enemies even in moderation.

I hope that once I get my hip in order I can add more exercise to my life, other than the 30 or 60 minutes walk on the elliptical.

I also need to address the other components of a happy being: Mind and Soul.  Those also need nutrients and stimulation.

Baby steps at 52 years old – better late than never!!

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” – Virginia Wolf