Tag Archives: fairy-tale

Love is in the Air – Easter Weekend Update

13 Thursday Apr 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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 I cannot pretend I am without fear. But my predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved; I have been given much and I have given something in return; I have read and traveled and thought and written. I have had an intercourse with the world, the special intercourse of writers and readers.

Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and adventure.”
― Oliver Sacks, Gratitude

As usual, I am short on time, but I wanted to give everyone an update.  Things with M are going marvelously well!  Love is blooming to coincide with spring. Sometimes I am afraid to talk about it and jinx it.  He adores everything about me.  I keep finding reasons to adore him.

I believe in fairy-tales, and he is becoming my version of fairy-tale.  I plan on enjoying every second for as long as it lasts.  With him I feel natural and beautiful, I don’t care about the stubborn several pounds that I keep losing and getting it back.  I still cannot find a single thing about him that gives me pause.  Nothing.

It doesn’t even matter to me that he lives in Florida.  A state that I said I would never live at.  He gave me the house keys, and says it is my home now.  He said that any time I need, I can just call and he will catch the next flight to NY.

We started communication on Match.com on February 8.  On February 23 we met in person when he flew to NY.  We barely know each other and yet it feels so right.

At times I remind myself that I have been searching for someone for over 10 years, so it may seem fast, and yet it is not. I am grateful, but also aware that it was about time lol

I have already been to Florida twice, and he has come to NY twice.   And we spent time in Park City, UT.

The last meeting was when he came to spend Easter.  He arrived last Thursday afternoon and stayed until Tuesday.  Yesterday, Wednesday, he visited some relatives in NJ and flew back home.

This time he stayed in my apartment.  It was just so easy having him there.  On the day that I had to work, he stayed out of the way watching his financial channels and doing research on some things for me.  When I went to the mosaic studio on Saturday morning, he walked around my neighborhood with my sister.

“That I may be able to say of love (that I had) 

Be not immortal, since it is a flame,

 But be infinite while it lasts” – Vinicius de Moraes

 On the other days he fixed some stuff around my apartment, we went to Kohls, and a couple of other stores, and we also went out to eat a bunch of times.  The most memorable restaurants were:

  • Harvest on Hudson in Hastings, NY. The location is just gorgeous.  The food was not as amazing as it normally is, but still was very good.  We had cod fritters, eggplant meatballs, cod fish with mashed potatoes and cauliflower, and a pasta and asparagus dish.  For dessert we had tiramisu and chocolate tart.  To drink we had the Brazilian Caipirinha (sugar cane alcohol, lime and passionfruit).
  • Telly Taverna in Port Chester.  Beautiful place, great waiters, and amazing food.  We had so many different foods, so is hard to remember, but among the dishes were:  For appetizers: Mixed fried vegetables, zucchini croquettes, fried potatoes, pita bread with hummus and yogurt dip, spanakopita (the best ever!).  For entrees we had: the flounder, the cod, and the salmon.  For dessert they gave us what looked like donut holes with cinnamon and honey.  We went a little nuts with the ordering and took some food home. To drink we all had a different cocktail and all 3 were delicious.  They were: Drunken Telly’s (Passion fruit, citrus, Metaxa and malibu), Paros (Aperol, St Germain, prosecco, Greek honey) and he third one I don’t remember the name, but it had cucumbers in, and it was my least favorite.
  • Alvin and Friends in New Rochelle. We were going to another restaurant, but it was closed for Easter, so we just walked into Alvins.  Always great, but some of the items were not as usual, and a bit pricy as it was $65 per person for the food, as it was an Easter pre-fix menu.  We had cod fritters and empanadas for appetizers.  Entrees were: Fried chicken with macaroni and cheese.  I had coconut rice with ribs, and M had salmon with macaroni and cheese.  For desserts we took home chocolate cake and fruit tarts.  To drink we each had a different cocktail and they were all awesome. They were: rum punch, peach martini and a prosecco raspberry.  The owner visits every table, every time, and that always feels like the nicest thing to do.

Breakfasts, and one meal I cooked at home.  He later commented to my sister that he keeps finding amazing things about me, such as the fact that I can cook.  All I did was makes eggs in the morning, and for dinner, heat up left overs and make some salmon, which I overcooked.  For some reason he is so easily impressed by me. (yes, I giggled writing that)

I will be taking 2 trips to Brazil.  The first one, in about one week, will be very short, just to get my mom and bring her to NY for her 88th birthday.  I will be returning to Brazil in May to take my mom back. I will stay there about 3 weeks.  At that time, M will come to stay some time and meet the rest of the family.  We haven’t discussed the itinerary yet, but we are both excited about it.

He has been learning Portuguese since meeting me.  I so appreciate his efforts in being ready to communicate with my family. He even offered to stay with my parents in Brazil if I needed a break.  He is one of a kind! And he is now mine! 😉

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect—you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break—her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.” ― Bob Marley

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Back…to old tricks of searching for fairy-tales

28 Thursday Apr 2016

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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Returning

I am back from Brazil. I was there for only one week visiting family.  Everything went well.  The truth is that most of the things that I wish it could have gone better had to do with me and my expectations.  Trying to lead a life of no expectations is incredibly difficult.  What you think is being helpful is actually seen as being critical.  It is hard to deal with people that are so defensive that they see everything as a personal attack.

But here is the great news; this old dog can learn new tricks.  This old dog can try keeping her mouth shut.  Keep your great ideas and suggestions to yourself, no one cares or appreciates.

This is also an opportunity for me to look inwards and see how ready to attack I am.  Am I keeping an open mind and giving people a chance to be themselves?

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” – Rumi

Mom

My mother has returned with me as she does every time I go there.  She normally stays here for 1 month but now that my brother has retired and is able to help with my dad she will stay here for 2 months.  I think a longer stay will be beneficial to her; it will keep her away from her daily stressors.

We are still not sure about her illness yet.  The doctors in Brazil keeps running countless tests and not arriving at any conclusion. The latest doctor she went to, which was referred by the neurosurgeon was an ear, nose and throat doctor.  He was supposed to look over the test’s results and come up with a diagnosis and course of treatment.  Instead he asked for some of the same tests to be done again.

In the meantime she has been taking medication for dizziness prescribed by the neurosurgeon.  When she returns to Brazil she will see another doctor and hopefully get some answers.  She gets very dizzy sometimes to the point that she cannot stand up, also, lately, she has been very achy over her entire body.  Combine that with diabetes, high blood pressure and hypothyroidism and it makes for a lot medications to take, which makes her crazy.

Being here forces her to relax as I live in a small apartment and I don’t really allow her to do much.  In Brazil I know she over does it.

She is turning 81 on Sunday, so there is birthday cake in my future.  I don’t want to celebrate my birthday but I am all for eating other’s birthday cakes.
***

“Experience life in all possible ways — good-bad, bitter-sweet, dark-light, summer-winter.   Experience all the dualities.
Don’t be afraid of experience, because the more experience you have, the more  mature you become.” – Osho

I put a personal ad on Craigslist

I have met people off of Craigslist before from different ads I have placed regarding finding partners for activities and from selling my US Open tennis tickets (I used to have season tickets).  A couple of weeks ago I placed a personal ad.  I blame boredom and, perhaps, the need for attention from the opposite sex.

Of course I received dozens of emails, with all kinds of proposals, some indecent.  After sifting through them I replied to those that seemed to be real and serious.

I met 2 people in person.  The first one was the guy I have mentioned took me dancing. We have been in touch.  He asked me out again, but I was busy.  I need to decide if I am going to see him again.

The other one I met briefly 2 nights ago.  I will save him for a next post.  Stay tuned.

The one I want to mention now is one that I know is not real.  I know it is a fake, but I don’t really know of what kind fake he is.

We have been exchanging emails on a daily basis.  He just seems too good to be true.  He is not intrusive as he doesn’t ask a single question about me.  Or does that mean that he is really not interested in finding out?  He knows very little, almost nothing about me.  He has not seen a picture and doesn’t even know I am originally from Brazil.  He sent me 2 pictures.  I sent him none.  He asked for but said that he was okay if I didn’t feel comfortable sending them. So I never did.

When I mentioned that he didn’t seem real he gave me his phone number and said I should call that evening to confirm he was real.  I didn’t call that evening.  Days later I called restricted and got a voice mail, but I left no message.

With only the pictures, phone number and his first name I have not been able to get any information on Google.  I am normally able to find something with less, so this is killing me that I cannot find anything.

Even though he said he is 44, he sounds older, more cultured, from a more chivalrous world. It is hard to explain, but the words he uses, his level of writing is definitely from someone very well educated. There are no typos or slangs, sometimes I have to look up some words to make sure of the meaning. He writes as if he already knows that I am a real good, honest, beautiful person.  I am all that but how would he know if he has never seen or talked to me? He writes exactly what I would love to hear from a man.

“Suspecting and knowing are not the same.” – Rick Riordan

When we started emailing, he was too busy to meet in person, and then I was going to Brazil (I never mentioned where I was going.  He never asked).  He offered to pick me up when I mentioned I was returning from my trip.  Of course I declined, I am not about to get into a car with a stranger.  On the same day of my arrival supposedly his dad had a near fatal heart attack and he had to travel to another state and be with his mother.  His dad is still in the hospital waiting to be stable enough to have some kind of bypass.   Will this, probably fictitious, father ever get better or will he have to stay there forever?  Should I bluff and say I am traveling there to see him?

The only reason I am still corresponding with him is because I am curious and I want to see how far he will go with this charade.  I want to know what he is after.

Throughout my online dating experience I have encountered all kinds of scams, and can normally spot one from miles away.  But this time I am stumped as to what is the end game here.  Is he starving for attention and has too much time on his hands?  Is he married? Is he from some Nigerian scheme?  Will he start asking for money?

I have just emailed him and asked for his last name and date of birth.  I am eager to see what he will say to that.

For now I am replying just a few lines to his daily emails and mostly just offering support.  I don’t want to make any emotional investment.

I know it is fake, but still I wouldn’t be this hopeful fairy-tale chasing romantic I am if I didn’t harbor a glimmer of wanting and wishing he were real.


“Be realistic: Plan for a miracle” – Osho