Tag Archives: match.com

Don’t just…, excel at it!

28 Sunday Jun 2020

Posted by in Daily Life

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This week zoomed by.  It was a blur.  Phase III started on Tuesday in New Rochelle.  Restaurants are now open for indoor seating at 50% capacity. Some restaurants put tables on the sidewalk and I love that.

On Sunday I had my first meal at a restaurant.  My sister and I were spending the day with a friend.  We went to Chat 19 in Larchmont because they have outdoor seating.

We had a great time, and great food.  After that we went to the Larchmont Manor Park, shown on the picture above. It was a beautiful day.  It felt freeing.

“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.”― Thich Nhat Hanh

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Last night, Friday I met a friend/business acquaintance for an afternoon drink/early dinner.  I showed her my neighborhood and we chose to sit outside at a Colombian Restaurant.  My sister met us there after she finished work.

We had passionfruit mojitos and empanadas and skirt steak, among other things.  All delicious.  We were sitting there talking and people watching for over 4 hours.  I also learned a lot about her life here and back in Australia where she is originally from.  I knew very little of her up to last night.  It is wonderful to understand the reasons why someone does what they do, or live the way they live.

“Is it possible, in the final analysis, for one human being to achieve perfect understanding of another?
We can invest enormous time and energy in serious efforts to know another person, but in the end, how close can we come to that person’s essence? We convince ourselves that we know the other person well, but do we really know anything important about anyone?”― Haruki Murakami

Tonight I will have my first date from Match.com.  I just realized that he is only 39 years old, and I am not.  I have thought about canceling but I don’t think there is any harm in meeting him and making a new friend.

He seems so nice and thoughtful.  He is driving over 1 hours from NJ to come to my neighborhood to take me to dinner.  He chose a nice restaurant with a back patio that looks great.  

I will go with an open mind, and don’t let the age influence me.

UPDATE: Right as I was about to post this I received a text from my date saying he had to postpone it for next week.  He said had to stay near his laptop because of some work crisis. He also added: “The only other option would be for you to come here”

I don’t know if this is true or not, or if he is just being lazy trying to have me drive to him instead of him driving to me. Whatever it is, it just feels lame to me.  I will definitely not be going to him.  My gut tells me that a date next week doesn’t seem likely.

“Maturity, one discovers, has everything to do with the acceptance of ‘not knowing.”― Mark Z. Danielewski,

So it seems life is getting back to normal, or I should say new normal.  Will the new normal be better than the old normal?

As I wrote that I paused to reflect.  Do I want everything to go back to normal?  Yes and no!  I guess this is the perfect time for me to reflect on the changes that I want to make and keep in my life.  What I want my new normal to look like?  For starters I want to have a better work-life balance. 

What a wasted opportunity life would be if we as a humanity didn’t learn anything in the last 4 months? Time to reflect in our own lives and see where we can improve to benefit ourselves and our neighbors.

“Don’t Just

Don’t just learn, experience.
Don’t just read, absorb.
Don’t just change, transform.
Don’t just relate, advocate.
Don’t just promise, prove.
Don’t just criticize, encourage.
Don’t just think, ponder.
Don’t just take, give.
Don’t just see, feel.
Don’t just dream, do.
Don’t just hear, listen.
Don’t just talk, act.
Don’t just tell, show.
Don’t just exist, live.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

Updates, and trying Match.com

01 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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Test’s result: It is negative! The biopsy results are in and there is nothing to worry about.  The minor surgery is healing well.  I won’t have to see this doctor for another year.   All in all I am glad my doctor referred me to this specialist.  He was great!  Easy to talk to, explains everything in detail,  really made me feel at ease, even thought he was teaching yet another medical student.  The silver lining:  In the process of doing the biopsy he corrected and cleaned up my cervix.  He said: “ You can now resume normal activities”  …and resume I shall (as soon as I find the one I am willing to have activities with  🙂 )

New Tenant: Again I have an older lady as a tenant. She is very nice. As faith would have the day before my tenant is set to move in there is a leak from the apartment upstairs and part of the bedroom ceiling falls off. The silver lining is that there was no furniture so nothing other then the ceiling was damaged.  Now on to fixing it and trying to collect from the lady upstairs.  Being a landlord is not easy.

Olympics: I already miss the Olympics.  I am happy that all in all the Olympics worked out. In the beginning I feared it wasn’t even going to happen so I am glad that one way or another Brazil pulled it through.  Relieved is a better word! I love the world coming together is a competitive and fun atmosphere. I love the triumph of the spirit, the giving their all to something.

US Open: It is US Open time again.  Every year I go to the Opening Night Ceremony.  I loved how they showcased the new roof at the Arthur Ashe Stadium.  Apparently everyone was on to what was going to happen, except me.

My Doc friend went with me.  I was going on and on about the roof being closed on such a beautiful night.   And then as Phil Collins started singing “In the Air Tonight” the roof started opening up.  I was in awe like a child looking up, both marveled and surprised.

Visitors from Brazil: My brother, his girlfriend, her brother and his wife, and a cousin are coming  to NY  on September 9th to stay  for 2 weeks.  Only my brother and his girlfriend will stay at my apartment, but they will all go together on all the outings.  I will take a few days off to take them around.  It should be fun playing the tour guide.

Match. com:  I am still on POF, but decided to also try Match.  So far I have met in person 2 guys.  They were really great, but there was not really any chemistry.  I am seriously thinking that, even though, I am on 2 sites looking for a partner, I don’t really want anyone.  Am I too demanding? Is that masking a secret fear of getting hurt again?  Am I not willing to share my space, time and energy?  Or perhaps it is just not the right time.

The first guy I met was a widower of just one year.  I think he just spoke a little too much of his late wife.  I don’t think I want to compete with a dead wife. I don’t think that he is ready for dating, even though he said he had already dated someone for 3 months.

The second guy was younger than me by 5 years, handsome, great job.  I just think that he lacked a little motivation. He said he would never travel alone or do anything alone.  I do everything alone. I feel like he is waiting for a woman to come and rescue him and tell him what to do.  Even though I am bossy, I am tired of it.  I don’t want to rescue anyone.  I want to be rescued for once.

The truth is I didn’t feel like kissing any of them.  It may seem superficial but chemistry it is a big deal to me.  It has to flow.  It is not about looks, it is about how someone moves me and makes me feel.

If the chemistry is there, then we can see about the rest.

At this point in my life I don’t feel like wasting time and energy and hope on someone that I feel I will have to force and make a relationship fit.  I believe that when the person, time and energy is right it will just naturally work.

“Let nature take its course. By letting each thing act in accordance with its own nature, everything that needs to be done gets done.” ~” Lao Tzu