Tag Archives: always hopeful

A first date with sparks :-)

21 Sunday Mar 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating

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“The very essence of romance is uncertainty.” – Oscar Wilde

He had suggested the Hudson Grill in White Plains.  Instead, I chose Bill and Pete’s in Larchmont because I thought it would be quieter.

I was wrong.  We were seated at a tall table by the bar.  It was pretty loud. There were some people congregating by the bar, happily, singing and dancing.  I guess everyone is just happy to be out again after so long.

He was cute, charming and very nervous.  I was not.  I never get nervous on first dates.  They will either like me or they won’t, it is not a big deal either way.  I knew he would be a nice guy and we would have a good time.

I no longer go on first dates expecting sparks.  I go expecting good conversation and a friendly time.

He is a 56 years old accountant. He is soon to be divorced for the second time. What is up with my meeting men that has been married a couple of times before?

“You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question.” – Albert Camus

We shared a couple of appetizers and a sausage pizza for the main course. The food came in reverse order. All good, it didn’t bother us.

He had Pinot Grigio, I had Prosecco. Towards the of the evening the owner treated us to another round of drinks.

He was cute, funny, clumsy. He almost flipped the table on top of me. It was a small tall table and he leaned over to hear me better. The waitress was passing by at the same moment and quickly held it down. He was mortified.

Later on I had ordered a little ice cream cone with a donut on top for dessert. It was so tiny and cute, I asked him to hold it so I could take a picture. He dropped it. He was again extremely embarrassed.

We talked and laughed the whole evening.  We got there at 6:30 and left at 10pm.  In the end it was clear that we liked each other and that there were sparks.

We have a second date scheduled for Wednesday.  I am looking forward to seeing him again…that hasn’t happened in a long time.

“. . .Looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them.”
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

TO RECAP: Since joining OKCupid, I have met 4 men:

D, 58 yrs. old, Volleyball fanatic.  We met at Sedona Tap House.  He is a great guy.  Asked me on a second date, but I declined.  He agreed to be friends.

N, 57 yrs. old, CFO. We met at Encore Bistro Francais.  We were supposed to go on a second date but I had the dental surgery.  No sparks, but I thought it would be fun to see him again.

S, 54 yrs. old, Attorney. We met at La Herradura. He seemed very interested but then just became apparently too busy.  No crazy sparks but thought we needed a second date to make sure.

P, 56 yrs. old, Accountant. Described on this post.

I am pleasantly surprised with OKCupid.  I am not a paying member but so far I have come accross very interesting men.  Most of them I have no met yet as they want to wait to get vaccinated.  I may be off the market by then 🙂

Stay tuned…

“I’m not sentimental–I’m as romantic as you are. The idea, you know, is that the sentimental person thinks things will last–the romantic
person has a desperate confidence that they won’t.” – ― F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

the dating continues…

04 Friday Sep 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ― Carl Gustav Jung

Since G, the insecure personal trainer, has become history there has been a few guys that I had been speaking to and  2 that I met.  

I met F – The Widower.  We first started speaking 1 year ago on POF. He kept asking for additional pictures.  I felt I had plenty on my profile and refused to sent to him.  He kept insisting, I got annoyed and decided that I didn’t want to meet him at all.  After meeting again on Match I finally gave in and met him for a drink.  He drove 1 hour,  I took literally 30 steps to the Italian restaurant next to my apartment.  That was the extent of effort I was willing to put into this date and he knew it.

It was a friendly meeting.  He talked a lot about his late wife who died 10 years ago, and apparently became a saint.  No one can and wants to compete with a saint.  He wants to go out again. I am interested in friendship only.

“We have to recognise that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.” ― Cornel West

I met T – The Client.  We met on Match and realized that we were in the same industry and that he was actually a former customer.  Since he is no longer a customer I decided to meet up.

Since we were meeting at a Brazilian restaurant next door to my sister’s job on 46th Street in Manhattan my sister joined us half way through the date. It was a lot fun.  There was a lot laughing.

We had passion fruit and lime caipirinhas and had some yummy skirt steak with rice, beans and yucca fries. We also had cheese bread and some other appetizers. We took home chocolate and coconut fudge balls.  Those little desserts are so delicious!

Since I brought my sister along, I insisted on paying half. He didn’t want to agree but I beat him to the check and made sure to pay half.  He insisted on walking us to the train station.  We kept in touch and will meet again but I am not sure there were romance vibes for me.

“Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.” ― Oscar Wilde,  The Picture of Dorian Gray

I am currently talking to a few guys but 2 seem interesting enough to text/talk so I gave them my number:

M-the Neighbor.  We realized the we live just a couple of blocks away from each other.  The other day I waved to him when I was walking home from work.  He doesn’t know where exactly where I live.  We will be meeting one of these days.  So far we are having trouble coming up with a time.  It will probably happen some time next week.  We haven’t spoken a lot, mostly exchange a few texts here and there, but he seems like a good guy.

A-the Renter.  We have been speaking for 1 month.  He currently lives in California but is moving to Manhattan in the next few weeks.  I am calling him The Renter because 80% of our conversations are about the rental market in Manhattan.  He has been back and forth from CA but because of COVID quarantine requirements we haven’t met yet.

At this point it seems neither of us are in a hurry to meet.  I normally like to meet right away, the longer one talks without meeting there is the change of creating a false sense of intimacy and thinking there is more connection than there is. There is also a bigger potential for miscommunication.

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.” ― Dale Carnegie

A few days ago I detected a change.  A text went unanswered and later he said something about not feeling well and going to bed earlier.  A perfectly plausible excuse, but that is not what my gut is telling me.  The texting and calls decreased, and so did my interest.  But I still think we can meet and be friends.

I want to meet someone and be transformed.  Not because he is making me better, or I am making him better, but because we can no longer imagine a time when we weren’t in each other’s lives. I want the love that emboldens and strengthens us and make us want to conquer the world.  So I search and search…

“Even if you cannot change all the people around you, you can change the people you choose to be around. Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t respect, appreciate, and value you. Spend your life with people who make you smile, laugh, and feel loved.” ― Roy T. Bennett

 

#lbs Looking Back Sunday – “Prayers, Expectations, Hope and Love”

04 Monday May 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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There is #tbt Throwback Thursday.  That is when you post in social media something from the past, such as a picture in Instagram or something like that.

Today is not Thursday so I am calling this #lbs Looking Back Sunday.

Most of you know that I started my blog in early 2012 due to the unbearable pain I was feeling from having my heart broken.  Writing here allowed me to get the pain out of my heart. I credit this blog with saving my sanity.

It is odd to look back at some posts now.  In some posts I don’t recognize the writer behind the words at all; and in others it is if I just wrote it today. I guess Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr was right when he wrote: “The more things change, the more they remain the same”.

The post that I chose to start this #lbs series is “Of Prayers, Expectations, Love and Hope”.  It was written June 23, 2012.  It is crazy to think that I have had this blog for that long.

https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.com/2012/06/23/of-prayers-expectations-love-and-hope/

I chose this one because it still fits, even after 8 years have gone by.  I still believe in the power of prayers, in hope and in love.  I still asks God for guidance, and trust where it leads me.  And of course, I am still fighting expectations.

I am no longer in touch with the person that I wrote about it in the beginning  of that post as “my favorite voice on the phone”. That person, who I thought could potentially be the one, was just a distraction.  Still I am thankful for him but chose not to continue with the friendship.

I hope that everyone reading this is safe, healthy, full of hope and self love.

Hope is not ignoring the darkness, it is the infinite belief that light always come.  It is believing that our inner light is stronger than any darkness around.

Life is beautiful. You are beautiful.  Everything passes.  Enjoy the moment! ♥♥

 

Updates, and trying Match.com

01 Thursday Sep 2016

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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Test’s result: It is negative! The biopsy results are in and there is nothing to worry about.  The minor surgery is healing well.  I won’t have to see this doctor for another year.   All in all I am glad my doctor referred me to this specialist.  He was great!  Easy to talk to, explains everything in detail,  really made me feel at ease, even thought he was teaching yet another medical student.  The silver lining:  In the process of doing the biopsy he corrected and cleaned up my cervix.  He said: “ You can now resume normal activities”  …and resume I shall (as soon as I find the one I am willing to have activities with  🙂 )

New Tenant: Again I have an older lady as a tenant. She is very nice. As faith would have the day before my tenant is set to move in there is a leak from the apartment upstairs and part of the bedroom ceiling falls off. The silver lining is that there was no furniture so nothing other then the ceiling was damaged.  Now on to fixing it and trying to collect from the lady upstairs.  Being a landlord is not easy.

Olympics: I already miss the Olympics.  I am happy that all in all the Olympics worked out. In the beginning I feared it wasn’t even going to happen so I am glad that one way or another Brazil pulled it through.  Relieved is a better word! I love the world coming together is a competitive and fun atmosphere. I love the triumph of the spirit, the giving their all to something.

US Open: It is US Open time again.  Every year I go to the Opening Night Ceremony.  I loved how they showcased the new roof at the Arthur Ashe Stadium.  Apparently everyone was on to what was going to happen, except me.

My Doc friend went with me.  I was going on and on about the roof being closed on such a beautiful night.   And then as Phil Collins started singing “In the Air Tonight” the roof started opening up.  I was in awe like a child looking up, both marveled and surprised.

Visitors from Brazil: My brother, his girlfriend, her brother and his wife, and a cousin are coming  to NY  on September 9th to stay  for 2 weeks.  Only my brother and his girlfriend will stay at my apartment, but they will all go together on all the outings.  I will take a few days off to take them around.  It should be fun playing the tour guide.

Match. com:  I am still on POF, but decided to also try Match.  So far I have met in person 2 guys.  They were really great, but there was not really any chemistry.  I am seriously thinking that, even though, I am on 2 sites looking for a partner, I don’t really want anyone.  Am I too demanding? Is that masking a secret fear of getting hurt again?  Am I not willing to share my space, time and energy?  Or perhaps it is just not the right time.

The first guy I met was a widower of just one year.  I think he just spoke a little too much of his late wife.  I don’t think I want to compete with a dead wife. I don’t think that he is ready for dating, even though he said he had already dated someone for 3 months.

The second guy was younger than me by 5 years, handsome, great job.  I just think that he lacked a little motivation. He said he would never travel alone or do anything alone.  I do everything alone. I feel like he is waiting for a woman to come and rescue him and tell him what to do.  Even though I am bossy, I am tired of it.  I don’t want to rescue anyone.  I want to be rescued for once.

The truth is I didn’t feel like kissing any of them.  It may seem superficial but chemistry it is a big deal to me.  It has to flow.  It is not about looks, it is about how someone moves me and makes me feel.

If the chemistry is there, then we can see about the rest.

At this point in my life I don’t feel like wasting time and energy and hope on someone that I feel I will have to force and make a relationship fit.  I believe that when the person, time and energy is right it will just naturally work.

“Let nature take its course. By letting each thing act in accordance with its own nature, everything that needs to be done gets done.” ~” Lao Tzu