“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” ―
Since G, the insecure personal trainer, has become history there has been a few guys that I had been speaking to and 2 that I met.
I met F – The Widower. We first started speaking 1 year ago on POF. He kept asking for additional pictures. I felt I had plenty on my profile and refused to sent to him. He kept insisting, I got annoyed and decided that I didn’t want to meet him at all. After meeting again on Match I finally gave in and met him for a drink. He drove 1 hour, I took literally 30 steps to the Italian restaurant next to my apartment. That was the extent of effort I was willing to put into this date and he knew it.
It was a friendly meeting. He talked a lot about his late wife who died 10 years ago, and apparently became a saint. No one can and wants to compete with a saint. He wants to go out again. I am interested in friendship only.
“We have to recognise that there cannot be relationships unless there is commitment, unless there is loyalty, unless there is love, patience, persistence.” ―
I met T – The Client. We met on Match and realized that we were in the same industry and that he was actually a former customer. Since he is no longer a customer I decided to meet up.
Since we were meeting at a Brazilian restaurant next door to my sister’s job on 46th Street in Manhattan my sister joined us half way through the date. It was a lot fun. There was a lot laughing.
We had passion fruit and lime caipirinhas and had some yummy skirt steak with rice, beans and yucca fries. We also had cheese bread and some other appetizers. We took home chocolate and coconut fudge balls. Those little desserts are so delicious!
Since I brought my sister along, I insisted on paying half. He didn’t want to agree but I beat him to the check and made sure to pay half. He insisted on walking us to the train station. We kept in touch and will meet again but I am not sure there were romance vibes for me.
“Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.” ―
I am currently talking to a few guys but 2 seem interesting enough to text/talk so I gave them my number:
M-the Neighbor. We realized the we live just a couple of blocks away from each other. The other day I waved to him when I was walking home from work. He doesn’t know where exactly where I live. We will be meeting one of these days. So far we are having trouble coming up with a time. It will probably happen some time next week. We haven’t spoken a lot, mostly exchange a few texts here and there, but he seems like a good guy.
A-the Renter. We have been speaking for 1 month. He currently lives in California but is moving to Manhattan in the next few weeks. I am calling him The Renter because 80% of our conversations are about the rental market in Manhattan. He has been back and forth from CA but because of COVID quarantine requirements we haven’t met yet.
At this point it seems neither of us are in a hurry to meet. I normally like to meet right away, the longer one talks without meeting there is the change of creating a false sense of intimacy and thinking there is more connection than there is. There is also a bigger potential for miscommunication.
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.” ―
A few days ago I detected a change. A text went unanswered and later he said something about not feeling well and going to bed earlier. A perfectly plausible excuse, but that is not what my gut is telling me. The texting and calls decreased, and so did my interest. But I still think we can meet and be friends.
I want to meet someone and be transformed. Not because he is making me better, or I am making him better, but because we can no longer imagine a time when we weren’t in each other’s lives. I want the love that emboldens and strengthens us and make us want to conquer the world. So I search and search…
“Even if you cannot change all the people around you, you can change the people you choose to be around. Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t respect, appreciate, and value you. Spend your life with people who make you smile, laugh, and feel loved.” ―