Tag Archives: first date

Weekend Date – Part I

27 Monday Feb 2023

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“It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being.” ― John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love

Hi friends,

Here is the first part of my weekend date update.  I had a good reason to be excited.  He was just one of the sweetest, most thoughtful man that I ever met.

M. is 60 years old.  He is a retired helicopter pilot.  He retired at 55 years old.  He lives simply and planned his life so that he was able to retire early. He has spent the last 5 years skiing, surfing and traveling.

He arrived at 2pm on Thursday and went to his hotel. I was at work, so we met at 6:30pm at the hotel restaurant, Noma.  He met me outside.  I could tell right away that he was very shy.

Later he confessed that he checked on YouTube how do Brazilians greet each other.  I thought it was cute that he was trying to know exactly what to do. He also signed up with Rosetta Stone and is learning Portuguese. Extra points. Also, the moment I met him, he asked me to take a picture of his Drivers License and send it to my sister so she would know who I was with it.

The restaurant was great, busy and lively.  At some point there was a lady teaching salsa, and clearly there were a lot couples that went there just for that.  For dinner we had several tapas dishes.  I had a passion-fruit mojito, he had a beer.  We shared the bread pudding for dessert.

Throughout dinner and after, while sitting at a couch on the lobby, we talked like old friends.  We stayed in the lobby for about 30 minutes.  He reminded me that it was a school night and wanted to drive me home.  I wanted to walk.  He was not happy that I wanted to walk alone at night, but I assured him that it was safe.  It was still not that late.

Next day, Friday, I had originally intended on taking the day off, but there was some work I wanted to finish.  I decided to work half day from home, and meet him after.  Eventually I called him and proposed that he comes to my apartment and we have a late breakfast/lunch here. That way I would be logged into work for awhile longer.

He came over, we made a quick trip to the bakery, then returned, had some food.  I did some office work while we continued to talk. Then we decided to go out and do something.  It was so cold and windy, not the greatest day to be out, but we wanted to get out of the house. 

He kept asking if there was anything I always wanted to do, or any place I always wanted to see.  I came out blank, but so appreciate him trying to please me. He had a list of places, but by this time it was already 3:30, so I figured it was too late for any long drive.

I suggested we take a drive to Untermeyer Park and Gardens. We got there at 4pm.  It was definitely not the right day and time for a visit, but it is a gorgeous place no matter what.  It was empty, and the gate was closed, but not locked.  We walked around for about 45 minutes.  Then I remembered that I thought I had seen online that the park closes at 4:30pm.  We joked that we may get locked in.

We hurried to leave, but of course, we get to the gate and it is locked.  A bit of panic sets in, as it would be getting dark soon.  He started looking around for a way to either jump the wall, or some other area that we get through.  I called 911. 

As I am speaking to the dispatcher, M. comes over and noticed a notice on the wall, that had 2 numbers to call if ever locked in.  I told the dispatcher and she said: “Call the number, and if there is no answer call me back.”

As I called one number, he called the other.  I reached a mailbox that was full.  The number that he dialed connected him to 911.  At that same moment I saw through the gate that a security guard was coming towards us.

M. said: “I am going to give him $20”. I said, yes please, but only if he is not angry or mean.  He was not.  He had a smile on his face, and asked if we had not heard him on the loudspeaker.  We had not.  He didn’t want to take the tip, but we insisted.  

We returned to my town and stopped at the train station to get my sister.  We went home and got changed for dinner.  He took my sister and I to my sister’s favorite restaurant, Sergio’s.  We let her choose the place.

On the way there I realize I was missing my phone.  We dropped my sister at the restaurant and returned to my apartment to look for my phone.

Luckily, my phone was sitting on the table where I had left. We returned to the restaurant and found my sister seated at a table enjoying a cosmopolitan and bread and butter.  We had such a wonderful dinner full of fun conversation and laughter.

We had calamari and eggplant rollatini as appetizers. M. had the branzino with broccoli rabe. My sister had shrimp scampi with risotto.  I had eggplant with angel hair.  For dessert, my sister took a cheesecake home. 

Everything about Thursday and Friday was easy and fun.  Nothing awkward or difficult.  There were sparks, but also there was no pressure or pushiness for anything.  He is shy and very respectful.  He has made it clear that it is all 100% up to me; that he is not in any hurry.  I am enjoying concentrating on building this friendship and exploring the potential here.

He liked me.. a lot! He couldn’t stop making it clear to me that he was interested in a long term relationship.  The fact that he is retired and has nobody depending on him is a major plus for me.  Unlike the guy from Boston, he is able to come and go at a moment’s notice.  Speaking of the guy from Boston, he wants to schedule the second date for March.  I don’t think I  will be going on a second date with him.   He is so great, but with 2 young kids, everything will be more difficult for the next 8 to 10 years.

Weekend date part II next…

“To him she seemed so beautiful, so seductive, so different from ordinary people, that he could not understand why no one was as disturbed as he by the clicking of her heels on the paving stones, why no one else’s heart was wild with the breeze stirred by the sighs of her veils, why everyone did not go mad with the movements of her braid, the flight of her hands, the gold of her laughter. He had not missed a single one of her gestures, not one of the indications of her character, but he did not dare approach her for fear of destroying the spell.” ― Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera

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It is a Rumi kind of day!

23 Thursday Feb 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Poetry

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“Love calls – everywhere and always.
We’re sky bound.
Are you coming?”
― Rumi

Today is a Rumi kind of day for me.  A day full of promise and wonder.

My date is scheduled to arrive in town momentarily.  He is up in the air.  Literally!

He will arrive and go to his hotel.  I am at work, but hopefully leaving soon.  We don’t have set plans, but we will probably meet for the first time at dinner.  

It seems so promising.  Yes, I am excited. That is the way it is supposed to be, I believe.  Dates should be approached with excitement. It is just another date, and yet, it is not! It could turn out to be something amazing.

“I want to see you.

Know your voice.

Recognize you when you
first come ’round the corner.

Sense your scent when I come
into a room you’ve just left.

Know the lift of your heel,
the glide of your foot.

Become familiar with the way
you purse your lips
then let them part,
just the slightest bit,
when I lean in to your space
and kiss you.

I want to know the joy
of how you whisper
“more”
― Rumi

Sunday date with a river view

10 Thursday Nov 2022

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“She paused and added seriously, ‘Isn’t it funny the way we’re talking, just as though we’ve known each other for years and years.’
He said easily, ‘Oh, I’m a great believer in instant friendship.” ― Betty Neels, The Little Dragon

I don’t like to drive too long for a first date, but when my date chooses Harvest on Hudson Restaurant, I will gladly drive the 25 minutes it takes to get there.

I got there a few minutes before he did.  We met by the door and hugged hello.  The hostess sat us at a table with a beautiful view of the Hudson River.

He is 64 years old. He works in real estate management and construction.  Twice divorced, no kids. He looked better in person.

In most of my dates there is never a lack of conversation.  And this one was no different, we talked a lot.  He probably talked more than I did.  He shared a lot, actually perhaps a bit too much for a first date.

He shared some details of his childhood that brought the mood down a bit.  Nothing crazy, but enough to make the mood turn serious and emotional. I appreciated him feeling comfortable enough with me to share some painful memories, but I was glad that we moved on from that conversation and we could just have fun conversation.

First dates are supposed to be light and fun.  But then again, there are no rules.  I thought about my own behavior on first dates.  I often feel I share too much as well, so I will try to tone it down in the future.

“There’s a sorrow and pain in everyone’s life, but every now and then there’s a ray of light that melts the loneliness in your heart and brings comfort like hot soup and a soft bed.” — Hubert Selby Jr., “Requiem for a Dream”

The food was delicious.  For appetizers we shared the Caesar salad, meatballs and cod fritters.  I had cod for the entrée and he had the branzino.  For dessert I ordered a chocolate torte, that I never touched and took it home.  His phyllo gelato ice cream was enormous and so delicious, so we shared that. Even the bread and butter were yummy.  I ate so much.

To drink we both had passionfruit caipirinhas.  Just 1 each even though it was delicious.  We knew we would have to drive home.

Afterwards we walked to our cars and hugged good bye.  I texted when I got home to thank him for dinner.  He replied, and also texted the next morning.

He is going away today for one week and wants to get together when he returns.  I need to think about it.   I didn’t feel any romantic vibes, mostly friendship.  I don’t want to lead him on, but perhaps a second date wouldn’t be a bad idea.  I will decide by the time he returns.

I feel blessed to meet some great gentlemen and go to some great restaurants, chemistry or not.  If I get a friend I feel it is a win!!

In the meantime Mr. Sweet has been in touch every now and then.  He injured his back but texted asking if I want to meet when he is feeling better.  I said yes.

“…while finding true love was one of the most splendid things that could happen to you in life, finding a friend was equally splendid.” ― Félix J. Palma, The Map of the Sky

 

 

First date with the injury attorney

05 Saturday Nov 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Food

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“your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly

The date on Thursday evening was a lot fun. He likes to eat and wanted to try everything on the menu.  It was a feast!

Place: Maria’s Restaurant in New Rochelle

To drink: He doesn’t drink alcohol.  He drank diet cokes like it was going out of style. I had a delicious drink called Queen Margherita. It was made with Patron Silver, Passionfruit, Elderflower and lime. I had them use vodka instead of tequila. It was very tempting to have a couple, but I had only one.

To eat: He wanted to order everything, well except meat dishes. He is a vegetarian that recently turned vegan, but last night he made an exception and had cheese. We had 4 different appetizers. For entrée I chose the cod fish, which was delicious but I took most of it home as there was a lot food.  He had some beans and potatoes that they made special for him.  He also ordered some extra sides.

For dessert, even though he normally doesn’t eat sugar, he ordered 3 desserts for us to share (pictured above).  They were all delicious, even though none had chocolate in it!

“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.” ― Erma Bombeck

He is a 65yr old semi-retired attorney. He is very smart and very funny.  He talks a lot and so do I.  He asked a lot questions and seemed genuinely interested in hearing my answers.  He was very open talking about his life.

He has been divorced for decades, and has a good relationship with the ex-wife and his two married daughters.  He seems to be well adjusted, emotionally stable and a good person.

One funny moment.  Towards the end of the evening he fell down.  It is hard to explain, he was returning from the bathroom and when he went to sit down he misjudged the seat distance and fell.  He got up so fast, before I had the chance to try to help him.  I started laughing, I couldn’t help myself.  Luckily, he couldn’t either.  

It was such a fun date with tons of laughs, but I am not sure about chemistry.  I would probably go on a second date if he asks.  We shall see.

In the meantime, there are more dates on the horizon.  On Sunday I am going to a favorite restaurant in a gorgeous location for an early dinner date with a 60 year old businessman (not sure what he does exactly, will find out more on Sunday)

I hope everyone is having a blessed weekend!

“I hate people who are not serious about meals. It is so shallow of them.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

Introducing Mr. Sweet

03 Monday Oct 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“We must pursue what’s in front of us, not what we can’t have or what we have lost. We must grasp what we can reach and hold on, fast.” ― Maggie O’Farrell, This Must Be the Place

We met 13 days ago.  We are both amazed how it feels more like 13 months or years.  I have been hesitating about him. It feels so strong and yet it feels so fragile… if that makes any sense.

Something about safeguarding it and not letting the sunlight, the outside in, and spoil all the possibilities. For the bakers out there, do you know when you have a beautiful risen cake in the oven and you open the oven door too early and the cold air makes the beautiful cake collapses?  That is what I am trying to prevent from happening it here. 

I guess I don’t want to jinx it.  But why am I being all superstitious about it?  It is what it is.  Will be what will be. 

Here we go:

Mr. Sweet will be 57 years old next month (making him only 5 months older than I am).  He looks very young for his age.  I think I look young too, so that is a match.  He is shorter than I would like, but I realize that I can’t have it all 😉 

At the moment he is doing something with insurance, I am not sure all the details. He mentioned that he is financially secure – that is important to me – I don’t want to support a man.  The divorce is not final, but it is in the works.  Will save more details for later.

First Date: September 21 at Modern Restaurant.  As I walked in, he left the bar and came to meet me at door.  This little detail meant the world to me.  So many times I have to walk to the bar and wonder who is my date.  I have walked up to the wrong person in the past.

He had a huge smile on his face.  We were seated immediately.  We shared a Caesar salad and a pizza.  I had a glass of prosecco. He had beer.  We only stopped talking and left the restaurant because we were the only table left and we felt we had to leave.

He walked me to my building.  I hugged him good bye.  There was no kiss, but I wouldn’t have minded if had kissed me.

“In the arts, as in life, everything is possible provided it is based on love.” ― Marc Chagall

Date Two: September 23 at Town House Restaurant. It is a new restaurant in New Rochelle that I was looking forward to trying.  This time he took the train from NYC.  I met him at the station and we walked to the restaurant.

We shared the duck and the burger and a green bean appetizer.  For dessert we shared the flan and a chocolate cremeaux.  I had a cosmo, as they didn’t have passion fruit, and all other cocktails on the menu were weird… there was even a mushroom cocktail. He had a guava infused mezcal drink.

Everything was delicious about this evening.  He walked me to my door and we kissed good bye.  The kiss had my favorite flavor: promise and possibilities.

“It’s the possibility that keeps me going, not the guarantee.” ― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Date three: September 28. Wooden Spoon Restaurant. I wish I could erase that hour on that restaurant from my mind.  As I was biting into the burger, I found the cheese oddly stringy.  Then on the second bite I realized: it was a hair.  I am still grossed out about that.  Needless to say I lost my appetite.  He offered to take me some other place, but I couldn’t bear the thought of eating anything else at that point.

We walked around the neighborhood, and then I invited him to my apartment.  I was getting hungry, but didn’t want to go anywhere. My sister had given me magic bars that afternoon so I was looking forward to that.

We had magic bars, listened to music and talked, talked, talked.  Believe it or not, this guy talks more than I do.  There is never any awkward silent with us.

First time in a long time that I have a guy over at my apartment.  I had no qualms about inviting him in.  I felt like I am inviting an old friend.

The highlight of the evening: He brought me chocolates from Jacques Torres.  He made a point of bringing me some with coconut and some with coffee as those are my favorites. 

and the sweetest kisses with the softest lips…

“Choose Love, Love! Without the sweet life of
Love, living is a burden—as you have seen.”
― Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love

Date Four: September 30 at Alvin and Friends.  It is a always reliable restaurant.  We shared the empanadas as appetizer and for the entrée we had the ribs, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, collard greens, cole slaw.  For dessert we shared the coconut cheesecake. I had a prosecco cocktail and he had a minty mule.

We left the restaurant and stopped by my sister’s apartment to give her some left overs.  He met my sister briefly.  She called me after to ask his age.  He does look young. 

Again he came into my apartment, stayed awhile, then called an Uber and went home.  I love that there is no pressure for anything.

He brought me 2 kinds of bread, and a chocolate caramel tart. He knows I love breads and chocolate.  Perhaps I should have told him I love jewelry. lol

“The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.” ― Marilyn Monroe

Date Five: I guess after 5 I will stop counting them.  Monday, October 3rd, tonight.   I said I was going to cook, but I immediately regretted it as it is a busy day at work, and I would feel stressed about it.  I told him, and he said it was okay.  So instead of a dinner date, it will be an after dinner date.

Gosh, now I am panicking because I should have drinks and dessert in the house.  Oh well. 

We both have a lot going on this month and we won’t be able to see each other for awhile.  That is why we are sneaking this date tonight.  

Please don’t worry, I am not blinded by all the sweetness and thoughtfulness, but I am totally bathing myself in it.  

I can’t wait to see what happens next… as if this is a movie that I am watching, and I am not the main character.  The possibilities are infinite, and I am so ready for all of them.

got run, work to finish, run home, shower and beautify myself 🙂

“I can’t think of anything I’d rather have more than somebody lovin’ me.” ― Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees

Two dates and a dog

20 Tuesday Sep 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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On Sunday I had two dates.

I normally wouldn’t drive out of my way to go on a coffee date, but the meeting place was Barnes & Noble in White Plains, NY.  I love book stores.  This guy and I had been exchanging hellos for awhile and I wanted to see if there was anything there.

We agreed to meet at 10am.  I went earlier to browse the shelves, but they only open at 10am :-(.  Even though there was a Starbucks inside Barnes & Noble we decided to walk across the street to Hastings Tea & Coffee and sit outside.

He is a 65 year old doctor. He still works. He has some kind of rotation that has him working for 24 hours once every two weeks. I would love that schedule.

He looked, dressed and acted younger than his age.  I enjoyed meeting him and we talking about a lot different things, including spiritual stuff.  Time flew by.  I realized it was already almost noon and I quickly got up to leave. He was surprised I was leaving.

I am not sure if there will be a second date.  Even though the conversation was great, I am not sure if there is enough there to meet up again.  We shall see.

***

After that date I was supposed to go with a friend to brunch but she canceled last minute. I had brunch at home with my sister and did stuff around the apartment. 

The cute dog above is Mr. W.  I don’t want to disclose his name, but he has an imposing name that starts with W., so use your imagination.

I met my date and Mr. W. at 5:30pm at The Broken Bow Brewery in Tuckahoe, NY.  They were were sitting at a table outside in the back.  Mr W. is the nicest, quietest dog you could ever meet.  My date had a flight of beers, I had nothing.  I didn’t want to drink or eat anything before dinner.

At 6:30pm we left and went to Burrata Restaurant in Eastchester, NY, just a few blocks away. We had a couple of appetizers of eggplant and meatball and we shared a couple of pizza pies, a margherita and a prosciutto.  I had a Cappelletti spritz cocktail, he had red wine. Everything was delicious.

I didn’t have dessert.  A win!  But don’t be so proud, I have been overindulging in sugar at all other times.

Similar to the first date, we had a great time.  It feels like we are old friends. We talk and laugh a lot.  We talk a lot about cool restaurants, vacations, works, etc.  I like picking his brain on technology topics.  

At the end of dinner, I stopped by his car to say bye to Mr. W.  He had stayed in the car while  we were at the restaurant.  The car has dog mode, which I had never heard of before meeting him.  It means that it is climate controlled, and there is the huge sign on the dashboard alerting passersby:

We awkwardly hugged goodbye. As we quickly hugged I think that I subconsciously avoided his lips, so there was this quick brush on the side of my lips.  There was not an ounce of romance vibe during dinner, so I didn’t expect anything.  I am not sure if he is just shy or doesn’t have much interest.  So, I am not even sure if he was trying to kiss me.  

We will see if there is a third date…

***

I have 2 dates this week with 2 new characters 🙂  I decided not to wait for life to slow down to live it up.

“A woman has to live her life, or live to repent not having lived it.”
― D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover

 

 

 

 

Playland Park Date

18 Sunday Sep 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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Friday evening  I went on a date with a 52 year old IT engineer.  He suggested we meet at Playland, an amusement park in Rye, NY.  I loved the idea of having a different date, other than dinner and drinks.

We met in the parking lot. There was no hug or kiss hello, but it was not awkward either.  The moment we met we just started talking and didn’t stop.

We chose not to go on any rides in the park.  I have been taking motion sickness pills and allergy pills due to vertigo and also sinusitis, so I didn’t want to chance it.  He had been talking a lot about the Dragon Coaster, so I offered to ride it with him anyway, but he declined.



We walked around, talking about the last time we each had been there.  It had been a couple of years for me, but for him was over 10 years. The parks sits in a beautiful area by the water. So it was a beautiful walk in and out of the park.

We talked about a lot different things. We talked about work since he works in a similar industry. We also talked about his dog, travels, etc.

We played water gun games. I won the little pig in the picture below.  I also had Dippin Dots ice cream. Total win!



I discovered that evenings in September are the best time to go to Playland.  The park was almost empty.

We arrived at the park at 6pm.  At 8pm we got into our respective cars and went to downtown Rye to look for a place to have dinner.  We ended up at Meso, a mediterranean restaurant.

We shared skewers of shrimp, chicken and beef for appetizers.  Then he had the salmon, and I had the black sea bass.   To drink I had a cocktail made with vodka, hibiscus, st. germain; and he had a beer. Everything was delicious!

 
He is funny and a bit of a nerd, smart about a multitude of subjects.  I find humor and intelligence very attractive. 

I am not sure about chemistry, but it is worth a second date. And that will happen tomorrow night.  His dog is coming on the date also, but will be staying in the car.  Apparently his dog loves being in the car, and his car has something called dog mode.

He is paying attention.  He chose a restaurant that I mentioned that I like but haven;t been to in years.  See you back here tomorrow to report after the second date 🙂

Audit and Dating, same difference

15 Thursday Sep 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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I am sorry friends; it has been two weeks since I last posted.  Blame it on the audit that my firm is going through… combined with laziness and lack of motivation.

It is so easy for me to get off track with anything.  It then takes ages to get back on track.  Right now, exercise has been suffering.  I find that my eating habits and exercise go hand in hand.  If one is off, then the other goes off also.

French lessons on Duolingo have been a thing of the past.  I keep restarting.

I am learning how to allow myself to just be and live without pressure.  No need to be battering myself with negativity.  I get off track, I will just dust myself off and get back on track.  As many times as necessary.

The audit is going much better than I had anticipated.  The auditors have come and gone from our offices.  They were more personable than the prior ones.  

They are gone physically but their requests and questions continue. I found out today that we are not going to be tested on all areas, so that accounts for it being easier than I expected.  Fingers crossed it all continues to go smoothly, and it ends soon.

I am finally realizing that I don’t need to stress myself out… until I need to stress myself out. The pre-worry, the anxiety, the living on tomorrow doesn’t help with anything. Some of what I worry about never come to pass, so it has just been useless worry, wasted energy.

I went on one date last Friday.  He is a 60-year-old Stock trader that I had met a couple of years ago on another app but had never met.  He drove from Brooklyn during rush hour.  So, a 40-minute trip took one hour and half on that Friday evening.

We met at Rye Bar and Grill.  The place was a fun, noisy restaurant with a big bar, and tables in and outdoors.  I met him by the bar, and after some small talk we moved to a table. I had a glass of prosecco and he had a couple of beers.  We shared messy chicken wings for appetizers.  I had burger and fries.  He had a skirt steak.  The food was okay.  Not the best or worst I ever had.  I didn’t have dessert… yes be proud 🙂

We had a great time.  He is a great guy, but again I am not sure about a future.  I didn’t really detect any, so I am not sure about a second date.  We have been testing, so perhaps he is willing to be friends…

There was a point in time that I would go on a date as an excuse to get dressed up and go out.  That is not fun to me anymore.  I need to have the idea that something could happen… a friendship or something more, else.

What I am getting a lot lately is guys wanting to meet for coffee during the day.  Even though sometimes I can, I don’t like to meet during the day on a week day.  I much rather be done with work and relax, than have to hurry there and back. Plus it is much more romantic to meet for drinks at the end of the day,  than to meet for coffee, as a first date.

I have been blocked by 2 guys this week because of that.  Or perhaps there were other reasons.  

Guy 1 – He chose a place in his town, 40 minutes away from me.  I suggested a place closer to me on a weekend. He changed the subject, then blocked me. 

Guy 2 – He asked me out for coffee during the day.  I suggested coffee at the end of the day.  He kept ignoring that and insisting on meeting during the day during the week. Then he complained that I was making things difficult.  Before I had a change to reply he blocked me.

Whatever their reasons were, they have done me a favor by not continuing to waste my energy.

I no longer need to know the why of things.  All I need to do is accept and move on.  All I need to do is be grateful.  Everything that comes to me or moves away from me is a blessing.

I have a date tomorrow. It should be fun. Stay tuned.

I finished another mosaic piece. It is pretty 🙂 Stay tuned.

 

 

OKCupid sucks, Bumbles rocks. Excited over a first date.

20 Wednesday Oct 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating, as possibility!” ― Søren Kierkegaard, Either/Or: A Fragment of Life

Hi everyone, I am stopping by quickly to say I have a date tonight.  Please send me good vibes. This is not just another date.

I just joined Bumble last week. It is so much better than OKCupid and all the other sites I have been on before.  If I were to rate them, this would be the order:

  1. Bumble
  2. Plenty of Fish
  3. Match
  4. E-Harmony
  5. OKCupid

My rating has to do with the matches I made, and that is probably sheer luck.  They all have their share of fake profiles and take time and energy to search through all the profiles.

I have come across only 1 fake profile in Bumble, and all the guys that I have messaged have been polite and real.  Perhaps it is because it is my first week 🙂

Oh, and guess who was the first person that matched up with me?  The guy from the last date.  I don’t get it why he would try to match with me again.

“It is the possibility that keeps me going, and though you may call me a dreamer or a fool or any other thing, I believe that anything is possible.” ― Nicholas Sparks

I have 3 dates lined up, but it is the one tonight that has me all giddy.

This doesn’t feel like just another date.  I am excited about it, and I seldom get excited about dates anymore.

I don’t really know why I am this excited.  If I were to describe a reason, there isn’t really one.   We don’t even know much about each other.  Because I don’t have much information, I was not able to do all my Google research.

We have been exchanging messages for a total of 4 days.  And it wasn’t that many messages.  We didn’t even exchange numbers or spoke on the phone.  And that is perfect for me, as I don’t care for speaking on the phone before meeting anyone.

There is just something about the easy flow of the messages.  I didn’t feel pressured to talk on the phone.  I hate to be cliché, but I do feel like I know him for ages.

There wasn’t a single moment since I scheduled the date when I am coming up with reasons to cancel, as I do 99% of the time.

Tonight is all about a feeling.  Not necessarily a feeling of love, but a feeling of finding a similar soul.  I truly believe I am about to meet a lasting friend.

There something about him, and tonight I will find out.  I hope there are sparks.

“I thank you for your courage to expose yourself.
This courage is needed by everyone because without this courage, you cannot hope for any possibility of transformation – into a new world, into a new consciousness, into your authentic being, which is the door to ultimate reality and to the ultimate benediction.”― Osho, Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other

Burgundy hair and fashion rings do not spell romance

05 Wednesday May 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

≈ 38 Comments

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On Friday I met Flexible Guy.  Flexible as in easy-going, not as in bendy; which he probably is also.  

We were scheduled to meet at Dubrovnik Restaurant at 6pm. He called me and let me know that he was going to be 15 minutes late.  It was going to take him 2 hours driving. I was walking 5 minutes.  That is fair! 😉 I am worth it.

I got there at 6pm to make sure to secure our table.  I was seated at the covered patio upstairs. To sit outside, in the beautiful courtyard, was out of the question. It was too windy, and with a chance of rain.

He came in 10 minutes later. In the meantime I had got acquainted with the couple on the next table. They were an elderly couple. The man kept joking and the woman pretending she was upset with his jokes. So cute to see.

My date walked in and I got up and gave him a hug.  I am a hugger.  He looked like his pictures. His hair was a weird color, which I asked him about it.  It was by design and not an accident.  I don’t like orangey burgundy hair on anyone, but he did manage to pull it off.  

He was wearing some huge rings.  One was a skull, one was an eagle and one looked like claws.  I liked them.  I like people that have unique style, and don’t care what people think.  

“There never as been, nor will there ever be, another like you. Your singular perspective may patch some small hole in the vast tattered fabric of humanity. Uniqueness alone, however, does not make you valuable. If you don’t do, if you don’t dare, then you rob the world — and yourself–of the chance to contribute something meaningful.” ― Ryder Carroll

It was a Croatian restaurant. Fish reigns there. They bring a platter with a variety of seafood, table side, to explain each one in detail.  It was a 5 minutes explanation on each type of fish and shellfish.

I didn’t care for any of the appetizers, as they were mostly shellfish, so we split some grilled vegetables to start.  For the main course I had the branzino with risotto.  He had the red snapper with potatoes and Swiss chard.  For dessert I had the chocolate cake that was made with almond flour, almonds and orange.  He had the Kremsnita, a puffy pastry with vanilla custard cream.  

Everything was delicious.  The only thing that was lackluster was the drinks.  The bartender had no idea what he was doing. I don’t like to send anything back, food or drink, but I had to send the cosmopolitan back.  Even after I doctored it with more cranberry juice, it was awful. I just got the prosecco instead, and my date had a dirty martini.  

After a few hours, the manager offered to give us a free drink if we chose to go to the bar so they could sit another party.  I was okay with that, we were already done and ready to go anyway.  We just sat at the bar so he could settle the bill..  We both declined the free drink.

We had a great time, talking and laughing.  Unfortunately there was no chemistry for me.  He wanted to go on a second date, but I don’t want him to drive another 2 hours when I already know that I have no interest in romance. If he lived closer we would probably go out again as friends. 

“And what is a kiss, specifically? A pledge properly sealed, a promise seasoned to taste, a vow stamped with the immediacy of a lip, a rosy circle drawn around the verb ‘to love.’ A kiss is a message too intimate for the ear, infinity captured in the bee’s brief visit to a flower, secular communication with an aftertaste of heaven, the pulse rising from the heart to utter its name on a lover’s lip: ‘Forever.”― Edmond Rostand,  Cyrano de Bergerac

The woman from the office next door came over to ask me how my date went.  Yes, I do announce to all that will listen when I am going on a date. 🙂  Well, not really, but I am the type that if you ask me what I am doing tonight I will tell you exactly what.

I just simply said that it was good but there will not be a second date.  Some people don’t understand why I don’t want to go on a second date, and see if anything develops. To me, it is there or isn’t there.  It is that simple.  She insisted, asking me Why? why? over and over.

“Because I don’t want to kiss him” – I said.  She burst out laughing.  I was not trying to be funny.  If I don’t see myself potentially kissing someone, then I don’t want to waste my time or theirs.  Of course, relationships are not only about that, but if that is missing, then there is no future. 

Sorry David  https://dfolstad58.wordpress.com/ ,  Once again I didn’t take a single picture of my food or the restaurant 😦  The picture at the top was found online, it is of their courtyard.

“The saddest word
in the whole wide world
is the word almost.

He was almost in love.
She was almost good for him.
He almost stopped her.
She almost waited.
He almost lived.
They almost made it.”
― Nikita Gill