Tag Archives: potential and possibilities

This was March 2022

16 Monday Jan 2023

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My birthday month. It was a month of many dates.  Many lessons.

There was the Greek guy I went on a few dates with. When I realized that there was definitely no chemistry, I offered friendship. He accepted, or so I thought. After going out as friends with my sister and I, he began the repetitive calling and texting again.  The next time he asked me out I mentioned friendship again. He became defensive, and wanted to convince me that there was chemistry.  I let him vent, but in the end, he realized I was serious.  He stopped calling.

Lesson: People hear what they want to hear.  They create their own stories. Be firm and make sure there are no misunderstandings. 

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ― George Bernard Shaw

There was the date with the accountant.  Great first date, but he immediately started acting as if we were already a couple.   Already planning the future.  He was talking about expensive vacations, etc.  Too much too soon.  It would have been exciting if we had been going out for a few months; after just one date it is just overwhelming. I mentioned that to him, and just let things fizzle.

Lesson: Nice guy, trying too hard. Oftentimes people are in love with the idea of love, of a partner, and will attach themselves to the first person they meet.

“Any man’s measure is determined by what he will do when he is faced with his own deep need. Not how high he may reach but how low he may kneel.” – J. Otis Yoder, When You Pray

Date with B., the guy I had first had a few dates 5 years before.  We went on a couple of dates and it was seeming more and more like fate.

There were great dates and not so great dates.  I struggled with trying to be in the moment.  I was scared of the potential.  It seemed so meant to be, and at times, it seemed to be such a struggle.

There will be more to come about him…

“But all fairytales have rules, and perhaps it’s their rules that actually distinguish one fairytale from the other. These rules never need to be understood. They only need to be followed. If not, what they promise won’t come true.” ― Jostein Gaarder

In March I got the Covid booster shot to be able to travel to Brazil.  I was extremely conflicted about getting it, but had no choice.  Brazil was not letting anyone in without a vaccine and booster.  The choice was not to go to Brazil and see my family.  And that was no choice.

I remain conflicted about the vaccine. At this point I will not take any additional boosters. I will continue to do all I can to boost my immune system.

“What you think may change what you do, but what is also true is, what you do will change what you think.” ― J.R. Rim

So it goes, So it goes…

06 Monday Dec 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Great minds have purpose, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortunes; but great minds rise above them.” ― Washington Irving

Well, Well, Well… here we are again.

The IT/Teacher guy was supposed to reach out to plan a 3rd date. We last exchanged texts on Thanksgiving Day.  I have not heard from him yet.  Chances are I will never hear from him again.  This is not my first rodeo!

He did say that he is not the type to be constantly in touch, but this is a bit out long.  At this point I am not sure if I will reach out or not.  Well, as I come to this post to publish it, I texted him.  No reply yet.  We shall see, if I get silence or an excuse.

Once again, after two great dates, the guy disappears. Is the Universe playing tricks on me? Should I just give up on this whole dating thing? Should I start thinking there is something wrong with me?

“My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others! ” ― Marquis de Sade

NO, NO and NO! None of that!!!  a) The Universe is being the Universe, forever a wise guide, sending me lessons and teachers. b) Online dating is not for the faint of heart. I can take it, and keep going better and stronger.  c) I am not one to get discouraged and/or to start thinking there is something wrong with me or that I am doing something wrong. I am perfect! 🙂

These disappearing acts have nothing to do with anything that I have done or not done.  They were just not the right guy for me yet.  But, with each disappearing act, I feel I am getting closer. 

“And the little prince broke into a lovely peal of laughter, which irritated me very much. I like my misfortunes to be taken seriously.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Happiness is the journey and not the destination, isn’t that what they say?  And I wholeheartedly agree.   Even with the occasional disappointment of not hearing from someone when it all seemed so perfect, even with an occasional jerk, even with so many fake profiles, I still enjoy the journey.

I enjoy going on dates, meeting new people, discovering new things about myself and others. What I enjoy most of all is that feeling I get when I detect potential and possibilities.

“Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.” ― Voltaire

I am happy dreaming of the possibilities. I am in love with the potential. I am excited about first dates with great men; and sometimes not so great men.  If they never call again, it doesn’t mean they are less amazing, but that they are more amazing to someone else.

And, as fate would have, I am now excited about a first date tomorrow night.  Do I dare say that it seems so right?  I dare!

And so it goes, so it goes. 

Accepting, being grateful and moving on to a date with a new guy :-)

10 Wednesday Nov 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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“Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. When there’s a big disappointment, we don’t know if that’s the end of the story. It may just be the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don’t know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just don’t know.” ― Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

Before I get to my date report I need to admit that I am still annoyed and disappointed about D.’s silence. Yet, I am not surprised.  Somehow I knew it the moment he canceled it.  As the hours passes and the silence increases it is just a confirmation that silence is his way of saying he changed his mind.  

I know we only had 2 dates, but it all about the sparks, the conversation, it was all about the huge potential.  I also knew that I was already seeing some potential issues. I worried about the difficult daughter.  I worried about the weird multiple jobs.

“Things change, so I have to change too.”
― Adam Scythe, Immortals, Vol. III.

I don’t like how he has chosen to do it, but I must accept.  I will never understand ghosting someone.  Why not send a quick text and say:  “ I changed my mind”.

Still, I remind myself of the agreement I have with my Guardian Angels.  They are allowed to take anyone and anything from my life that it is not and will not be good for me.  No questions asked.  It doesn’t need to make sense.

So, the situation with D.  doesn’t make sense to me, but if am to look back at my blog, there were many others unexplained disappearing acts. I am accepting it, thanking my guardian angels and moving on to the next.  There is always a next!

“It poured with rain the day I left. But I was filled with excitement, a strange exuberant sense of taking wing. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew what I needed. I needed a new land, a new race, a new language; and although I couldn’t have put it into words then, I needed a new mystery.” ― John Fowles, The Magus

Moving on to the date.

We met at 6:30pm at Sergio’s Restaurant in Pelham, NY.  It is a very beautiful and classy restaurant.  I was surprised that it was such a busy place on a Monday night.

I got there and he was already seated.  He got up and came to meet me.  We hugged hello.  He was handsome and looked like his pictures.  He had a white shirt and tie.  He wears one for work, but he mentioned he likes to dress well.

The conversation flowed.  He was a perfect gentleman.  He said I was beautiful two times.  I love compliments, but if it is too much, it makes me want to run.  I am glad he stopped at two.

To drink, he had an old fashioned and I had a cosmopolitan. My drink was delicious.  If I were not driving, I would have had a second one.

We didn’t want appetizers, and we both ordered the short ribs with risotto.  For dessert we shared a tiramisu and a napoleon, and they were both divine.

“All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.”  ― Mae West, Wit & Wisdom of Mae West

He is 52 years old and owns a funeral home. He has an amazing relationship with his 3 daughters.  Two are living on their own and a 14-year-old lives with him. He has been divorced for 8 years and gets along well with the ex-wife. 

We were at the restaurant for 3 hours.  At the end he walked me to my car, and I gave him a ride to his car around the corner.  When he was exiting my car he kissed me good bye. Then turned back and kissed me again.  It was just a couple of pecks on the lips.  

I am not sure if there are enough sparks. He is such a sweet person, such a gentleman, that I think it is worth a second date.  I am keeping an open mind.

“One can begin so many things with a new person! – even begin to be a better man.” ― George Eliot, Middlemarch

 

The Dream, The Dreamer, The Inflexible and The Flexible

30 Friday Apr 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all
of which have the potential to turn a life around.” -― Leo F. Buscaglia

Date with The Dream: This guy looks exactly like a picture I have on my vision board.  I don’t have a type, but I wanted my board to have the picture of someone symbolizing a partner.  So I cut the face of a guy from an ad in a magazine.  This guy looks exactly like this picture.  It is uncanny.  It felt somewhat like faith when he contacted me.

We exchanged messages for months, even though he lives not too far from me.  He may have been concerned with Covid. He is 8 years younger and a professional photographer.

We met at La Herradura for dinner and drinks.  I was happy to see that he looked exactly like his picture.  He was sweet, and such a gentleman.

BUT, for some reason his speech and mannerisms were very distracting to me.  It detracted from his image.  I don’t think I would be able to date him and not want to change him.  I have the combination of an accent and a lisp, so I am well aware of the hypocrisy here.

I have learned about photo shoots, and working with clay. I had fun, good food, and we parted as friends.

“We are all hypocrites. We cannot see ourselves or judge ourselves the way we see and judge others.”― José Emilio Pacheco

Date with the Dreamer:  This man is 54 years old, and has lived in different parts of the country.  He is now in Pennsylvania to help with his parents.  I appreciate that!

He is very smart and well read, full of ideas for the future.  He wants to write a few books and shared his ideas with me.  I admire his ambition but it seems that he has lot of ideas, and not enough action.

We had a fun time over appetizers and drinks at Maria’s Restaurant, but not enough chemistry to embark on a long-distance relationship.

I learned about all his interesting book ideas, and also parted as friends.

“Once the soul awakens, the search begins and you can never go back. From then on, you are inflamed with a special longing that will never again let you linger in the lowlands of complacency and partial fulfillment. The eternal makes you urgent. You are loath to let compromise or the threat of danger hold you back from striving toward the summit of fulfillment.” -― John O’Donohue

Date with the Inflexible ex-cop:  He is my age, in great shape, takes very good care of his appearance; and apparently of his home.  He is retired from the police force and now works in security.

We met for coffee at R Café & Tea Boutique.  We spoke about everything for a couple of hours.  It was clear that even though he was a great guy, he is not for me.  He seemed a bit too set on his ways, inflexible in some areas.  I guess so am I.  I may be guilty of hypocrisy again ☹

I have learned about home improvements, and also of the struggles between a father and his adult children.  We parted as friends.

“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” ― Rumi

Date with the Flexible Gym Guy.  Tonight, I will be going to dinner with a 45-year-old tech guy.  That is, if he doesn’t annoy me too much with the request for pictures. He often sends me pictures of himself while out driving, exercising, whatever. Then he asks me to send one in return.

I never did, and the more he asks the more I don’t want to do it.  Yesterday I sent a picture of the crystals and rocks I have on my desk.  Perhaps he got the message finally.  I am not into exchanging pictures before meeting, and won’t feel pressured to do so.

He seems very intelligent, and plays the guitar.  He is very focused on his body lately.  He has a personal trainer and goes to the gym religiously.  He says he is at his best, as far as strength and flexibility. I am not that into exercise lately, so perhaps it is good to meet someone that is.  Maybe it will rub off on me.

Stay tuned for the details of the date.

“If you limit your choice only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise.” ― Robert Fritz