Category Archives: Finding Me

Anything related to the discovery of the inner me

My take on Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

21 Wednesday Sep 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

, , , , , ,

“Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good.” ― Malcolm Gladwell

I just finished Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell.  Yippie, I finished a second book!

I will keep my review short.  I didn’t like it.  It was not a waste of time, but I don’t recommend it.  I think nothing is a waste, no book is.  It always makes us think, even if we end up wishing we had read something else.

I wanted to like it. Afterall most people like it, if you go by the reviews on Amazon.  I liked the idea of it.  I wanted to be enlightened about success and successful people.  I was not.  I was left disappointed by it.

I have heard so many great things about Malcom Gladwell’s books over the years that I expected a lot.  Perhaps I expected too much.  I thought I would have this big revelation when reading one of his books.  With this one I expected to gain some invaluable insight on the key to success. I did not!

The one part I found interesting was regarding plane crashes.  According to Gladwell most crashes are due to communications issues and lack of cultural awareness.  Being an immigrant and a non-native English speaker that resonated with me; but there are a lot other facts that goes into a person speaking up or not in certain situations.

“Achievement is talent plus preparation” ― Malcolm Gladwell

To me some of his ideas were just common sense.  Others were just anecdotes.  There was no big reveal, no big secret.  It reinforced some old cliches, that I believe in.  I will summarize the books in cliches:

  • Timing is everything. Timing, such as the month and year someone is born in matters.  He had some anecdotes about hockey players to illustrate that. 
  • Grab every opportunity. Not everyone is given the same opportunities in life.  The successful people are the ones that take full advantage of the opportunities they encounter.
  • Practice makes it perfect. The more you practice something, the better you will be at it. Duh! He believes that the sweet number is 10,000 hours or 10 years.
  • Hard work matters. Again, duh!   
  • Where you are from matters, and it shows up in our behavior and interaction with others. Something like, “you can remove a girl from Brazil, but you cannot remove Brazil from the girl”.

“Who we are cannot be separated from where we’re from.” ― Malcolm Gladwell

Perhaps because I am an immigrant from Brazil, that came to the US looking for better opportunities, I know all about not wasting opportunities when they show up.  All I have is due to hard work, so I fully believe in it.  My culture influences me a lot.  Not matter how many years I have been living in the US I still see the influences of my upbringing in Brazil in my daily interactions.  If I would only practice more I would be fluent in French, and many other stuff. 

After reading this book I was hoping to have learned something new.  Something that I could use in my life. I did not.

I will read Blink at some point as I already have the book on my shelf.  Perhaps Blink will be more illuminating.  

“Hard work is only a prison sentence when you lack motivation” ― Malcolm Gladwell

Two dates and a dog

20 Tuesday Sep 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

On Sunday I had two dates.

I normally wouldn’t drive out of my way to go on a coffee date, but the meeting place was Barnes & Noble in White Plains, NY.  I love book stores.  This guy and I had been exchanging hellos for awhile and I wanted to see if there was anything there.

We agreed to meet at 10am.  I went earlier to browse the shelves, but they only open at 10am :-(.  Even though there was a Starbucks inside Barnes & Noble we decided to walk across the street to Hastings Tea & Coffee and sit outside.

He is a 65 year old doctor. He still works. He has some kind of rotation that has him working for 24 hours once every two weeks. I would love that schedule.

He looked, dressed and acted younger than his age.  I enjoyed meeting him and we talking about a lot different things, including spiritual stuff.  Time flew by.  I realized it was already almost noon and I quickly got up to leave. He was surprised I was leaving.

I am not sure if there will be a second date.  Even though the conversation was great, I am not sure if there is enough there to meet up again.  We shall see.

***

After that date I was supposed to go with a friend to brunch but she canceled last minute. I had brunch at home with my sister and did stuff around the apartment. 

The cute dog above is Mr. W.  I don’t want to disclose his name, but he has an imposing name that starts with W., so use your imagination.

I met my date and Mr. W. at 5:30pm at The Broken Bow Brewery in Tuckahoe, NY.  They were were sitting at a table outside in the back.  Mr W. is the nicest, quietest dog you could ever meet.  My date had a flight of beers, I had nothing.  I didn’t want to drink or eat anything before dinner.

At 6:30pm we left and went to Burrata Restaurant in Eastchester, NY, just a few blocks away. We had a couple of appetizers of eggplant and meatball and we shared a couple of pizza pies, a margherita and a prosciutto.  I had a Cappelletti spritz cocktail, he had red wine. Everything was delicious.

I didn’t have dessert.  A win!  But don’t be so proud, I have been overindulging in sugar at all other times.

Similar to the first date, we had a great time.  It feels like we are old friends. We talk and laugh a lot.  We talk a lot about cool restaurants, vacations, works, etc.  I like picking his brain on technology topics.  

At the end of dinner, I stopped by his car to say bye to Mr. W.  He had stayed in the car while  we were at the restaurant.  The car has dog mode, which I had never heard of before meeting him.  It means that it is climate controlled, and there is the huge sign on the dashboard alerting passersby:

We awkwardly hugged goodbye. As we quickly hugged I think that I subconsciously avoided his lips, so there was this quick brush on the side of my lips.  There was not an ounce of romance vibe during dinner, so I didn’t expect anything.  I am not sure if he is just shy or doesn’t have much interest.  So, I am not even sure if he was trying to kiss me.  

We will see if there is a third date…

***

I have 2 dates this week with 2 new characters 🙂  I decided not to wait for life to slow down to live it up.

“A woman has to live her life, or live to repent not having lived it.”
― D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover

 

 

 

 

Playland Park Date

18 Sunday Sep 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

, , , , , ,

Friday evening  I went on a date with a 52 year old IT engineer.  He suggested we meet at Playland, an amusement park in Rye, NY.  I loved the idea of having a different date, other than dinner and drinks.

We met in the parking lot. There was no hug or kiss hello, but it was not awkward either.  The moment we met we just started talking and didn’t stop.

We chose not to go on any rides in the park.  I have been taking motion sickness pills and allergy pills due to vertigo and also sinusitis, so I didn’t want to chance it.  He had been talking a lot about the Dragon Coaster, so I offered to ride it with him anyway, but he declined.



We walked around, talking about the last time we each had been there.  It had been a couple of years for me, but for him was over 10 years. The parks sits in a beautiful area by the water. So it was a beautiful walk in and out of the park.

We talked about a lot different things. We talked about work since he works in a similar industry. We also talked about his dog, travels, etc.

We played water gun games. I won the little pig in the picture below.  I also had Dippin Dots ice cream. Total win!



I discovered that evenings in September are the best time to go to Playland.  The park was almost empty.

We arrived at the park at 6pm.  At 8pm we got into our respective cars and went to downtown Rye to look for a place to have dinner.  We ended up at Meso, a mediterranean restaurant.

We shared skewers of shrimp, chicken and beef for appetizers.  Then he had the salmon, and I had the black sea bass.   To drink I had a cocktail made with vodka, hibiscus, st. germain; and he had a beer. Everything was delicious!

 
He is funny and a bit of a nerd, smart about a multitude of subjects.  I find humor and intelligence very attractive. 

I am not sure about chemistry, but it is worth a second date. And that will happen tomorrow night.  His dog is coming on the date also, but will be staying in the car.  Apparently his dog loves being in the car, and his car has something called dog mode.

He is paying attention.  He chose a restaurant that I mentioned that I like but haven;t been to in years.  See you back here tomorrow to report after the second date 🙂

Audit and Dating, same difference

15 Thursday Sep 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 46 Comments

Tags

, , , ,

I am sorry friends; it has been two weeks since I last posted.  Blame it on the audit that my firm is going through… combined with laziness and lack of motivation.

It is so easy for me to get off track with anything.  It then takes ages to get back on track.  Right now, exercise has been suffering.  I find that my eating habits and exercise go hand in hand.  If one is off, then the other goes off also.

French lessons on Duolingo have been a thing of the past.  I keep restarting.

I am learning how to allow myself to just be and live without pressure.  No need to be battering myself with negativity.  I get off track, I will just dust myself off and get back on track.  As many times as necessary.

The audit is going much better than I had anticipated.  The auditors have come and gone from our offices.  They were more personable than the prior ones.  

They are gone physically but their requests and questions continue. I found out today that we are not going to be tested on all areas, so that accounts for it being easier than I expected.  Fingers crossed it all continues to go smoothly, and it ends soon.

I am finally realizing that I don’t need to stress myself out… until I need to stress myself out. The pre-worry, the anxiety, the living on tomorrow doesn’t help with anything. Some of what I worry about never come to pass, so it has just been useless worry, wasted energy.

I went on one date last Friday.  He is a 60-year-old Stock trader that I had met a couple of years ago on another app but had never met.  He drove from Brooklyn during rush hour.  So, a 40-minute trip took one hour and half on that Friday evening.

We met at Rye Bar and Grill.  The place was a fun, noisy restaurant with a big bar, and tables in and outdoors.  I met him by the bar, and after some small talk we moved to a table. I had a glass of prosecco and he had a couple of beers.  We shared messy chicken wings for appetizers.  I had burger and fries.  He had a skirt steak.  The food was okay.  Not the best or worst I ever had.  I didn’t have dessert… yes be proud 🙂

We had a great time.  He is a great guy, but again I am not sure about a future.  I didn’t really detect any, so I am not sure about a second date.  We have been testing, so perhaps he is willing to be friends…

There was a point in time that I would go on a date as an excuse to get dressed up and go out.  That is not fun to me anymore.  I need to have the idea that something could happen… a friendship or something more, else.

What I am getting a lot lately is guys wanting to meet for coffee during the day.  Even though sometimes I can, I don’t like to meet during the day on a week day.  I much rather be done with work and relax, than have to hurry there and back. Plus it is much more romantic to meet for drinks at the end of the day,  than to meet for coffee, as a first date.

I have been blocked by 2 guys this week because of that.  Or perhaps there were other reasons.  

Guy 1 – He chose a place in his town, 40 minutes away from me.  I suggested a place closer to me on a weekend. He changed the subject, then blocked me. 

Guy 2 – He asked me out for coffee during the day.  I suggested coffee at the end of the day.  He kept ignoring that and insisting on meeting during the day during the week. Then he complained that I was making things difficult.  Before I had a change to reply he blocked me.

Whatever their reasons were, they have done me a favor by not continuing to waste my energy.

I no longer need to know the why of things.  All I need to do is accept and move on.  All I need to do is be grateful.  Everything that comes to me or moves away from me is a blessing.

I have a date tomorrow. It should be fun. Stay tuned.

I finished another mosaic piece. It is pretty 🙂 Stay tuned.

 

 

A different kind of pretty

01 Thursday Sep 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me, Mosaic and other crafts

≈ 76 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , ,

I just finished this piece.  I love it, but most people don’t like it.  The only person that liked it is my sister. 

It is interesting that people normally try to be kind and say they like something when they really don’t.  I get it, I don’t want to hurt anybody’s feelings either.

But with this one piece, there is no hiding their feelings.  Everyone at the studio said, straight to my face, they didn’t like it.  One said it is the ugliest baby she has ever seen (true lol) and the other said I made Sonny Bono (kinda of lol).

I love that!  I feel honored to have people’s honest opinion.  They know me, they know I can take it.  I rather have honest opinions and not sweet lies. I like that we can all joke about it.  What I love most is the realization that I don’t feel the need to make only “pretty” things. 

I love when people look at something I made and have a reaction, good or bad.  

This piece to me represents a lot different things: family, diversity, beauty, love, among others.  With this piece I feel I am beginning to find my creative/artistic voice… and it is not pretty! 😉

“There is no exquisite beauty… without some strangeness in the proportion.” ― Edgar Allan Poe

“It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.”
― Leo Tolstoy, The Kreutzer Sonata

“Sometimes people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are.”
― Markus Zusak, I Am the Messenger

“To see something different gives you a chance to be something different!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan

“No one escapes some degree of chaos for it is so ever prevalent; it is the human experience. This realization does not mean we can’t improve. It does mean we can accept our state of chaos, lighten up on ourselves, have fun, and work on improving…we are a work in progress. Enjoy the journey.” ― David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough

A tale of 2 plants

30 Tuesday Aug 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 48 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , ,

 

Several months ago my assistant came to work with 4 tiny little plants she got at CVS.  She gave me 2, which I kept at the office, and she took 2 to her house. 

Fast forward to now that she is back in the office after being away since the end of May.  She was admiring the plants, and asked if I had gotten new ones or if the one above was one of the ones she had given me.  

I was surprised with the question and said that those were the same plants.  She mentioned that hers hadn’t changed much.   

“You inherit your environment just as much as your genes.”
― Johnny Rich, The Human Script

The next day she bought me hers.  One of them is below:

It is crazy when you see them side by side.  To me it is clear to see what happened.  She never removed hers from the tiny little container they came in.  She didn’t give them enough room to grow. 

I think it is the same with us humans.  If we are not given the space to grow, we dwarf and just exist, instead of living and thriving.

She mentioned that she tried to keep hers by the window, but for a variety of reasons they often stayed on the floor.  Mine are always near the window, with the most spectacular sunlight bathing them. 

And let’s not forget that I talk to my plants.  I say good morning, I stop by throughout the day to admire and compliment them. 

And so are we, products of our environment.  We need nurture, light and praise.  We need care to flourish.

If we are somewhere that we are not getting enough space to grow; if we are not being complimented; if we are not receiving light, then we must change locations.

It is my, and nobody else’s, job to give me the things I need to flourish.  If I am waiting on others to give me space, light and care, then I am wasting time.  

What the younger generation didn’t understand was that the grass was greenest where it’s watered..” ― Nicholas Sparks, The Best of Me

Go on, and thrive.  Seek light, space and care, and be your own source of it.  Go towards the light of what makes you happy.  Take whatever space you need, don’t wait to be given or offered, just take it.  The care you need is not found in others or from others, start caring and nurturing yourself.

But, 

Never forget those around you that could use a little of your light and care.  It is only giving that we receive.

I replanted that little plant, and it is now sitting by the window with the others.  In 1 month I will come up and post pictures of it.

“we must bring
our own light
to the
darkness.”
― Charles Bukowski

I had a date with Bernie Madoff

28 Sunday Aug 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 40 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.” ― Rita Mae Brown, Alma Mater

Well, not really Bernie, but kind of.  Read on.

First things first, the place and the food.  I met my date at Hinoki in Greenwich, CT.  It was an Asian fusion restaurant.  It was packed on this Thursday night.  We stood by the bar until we waited for a table or seats at the bar.  Eventually we sat at the bar.

As I mentioned on the previous post, I wasn’t expecting much from the date.  I thought it would be more of a business connection.  Since we are both in financial services I was curious to see if our firms intersected in some way. 

During the evening He had a couple of beers and I had a couple of passion fruit cocktails.  We shared a few small dishes.  The tuna taco, lettuce wrap and fried rice were delicious.  I will definitely go back for the food.

A couple of red flags:

First, as soon as we got to the bar,  before I knew it, he  already had a beer in front of him. I was surprised he would not ask me first what I wanted to drink before ordering.  I assumed it was nerves, but now I am thinking is just plain inconsideration. We now have a pretty good idea of who will come first in this relationship.

Second, when I was telling him that my last “relationship” ended when I was called an asshole, his comment was: “So, everyone call names when they fight”.

Excuse me! No, not everyone calls each other names.  I don’t, and I don’t want to be in a relationship where that is ok.  For the record, there was no fighting with B (last relationship).  He was frustrated about not seeing me as often as he wanted and fired of a text calling me an asshole. 

The fact that he thinks that it is okay for people in romantic relationships to call each other asshole is disturbing to me.

“That’s all it takes, one drop of fear to curdle love into hate.” ― James M Cain

So it seems, I will never come first and I will be called names. Why am I interested in seeing him again? 

Sad, right?   I think I am the queen of giving people the benefit of the doubt. I was thinking that the first red flag was nerves, and the second was that I didn’t explain correctly how the name calling occurred. It seems I am already making excuses for the guy.

Towards the end of the date he asked me what I would be doing after it.  I joked I was going on another date.  He laughed, then invited me to have a glass of wine in his apartment after.  I said: No, thank you.

It was actually a fun date, and there was chemistry. We communicated well, took turns asking each other questions.  I was willing to go on a second date to find out more. Yes, I was 😦

“To make no mistakes is not in the power of man; but from their errors and mistakes the wise and good learn wisdom for the future.” ― Plutarch

That Thursday night, while in bed trying to sleep I kept thinking about the date.  Something was giving me pause.  I decided to get up and Google him again now that I had more information to go on.   Before going on any date I will Google the person and try to find as much information I can.  Before the date I found his business and some other information that told me he was who he was saying he was.

But now, I had some additional information, such as his ex-wife’s name and the country that he lived in for awhile. So I got up and Googled his name along with the ex-wife’s name.

And shock of all shocks, so much information came up.  I found out that many years ago he has been in Federal prison for some type of scam.  It seems that even after getting out of prison he went on to have more issues with the SEC.  I don’t want to say too much as I am afraid of giving too much info about someone that is not present to defend himself.

So, what is your opinion?  Do people deserve a second chance?  Can someone regenerate?  For me, if I am with someone and something happens, I am going to stick by them. But in this case, do I want to start something with someone that already had issues hanging over his head?

 “All men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong, and repairs the evil. The only crime is pride.” ― Sophocles, Antigone

According to what I read he thinks he did nothing wrong.  As I am going through an audit now, I know that the regulators can be pretty picky and enforce some outdated and irrelevant rules.  But, I think this is me once again trying to give someone the benefit of the doubt.

I guess the answer is a very simple one for me.  I am more and more wanting to simplify my life of any excess, including excess drama.  I would live in fear that he could be at some point be led away in handcuffs.

Then the following day, Friday, he texts me and invites me for dinner, here is the exchange:

I don’t think he will reach out again.  I don’t think that he is the type of man that is concerned about a woman’s comfort level, and don’t care enough to care. 

I wonder if he would ever tell me about his past had we continued dating.  What do you think about it?  How much does one need to divulge about their past on dates?    When should people disclose such a type of baggage to a potential partner? Are some things okay to keep secret? 

What about the less important, at the moment, question: When it is okay to go to a date’s house?

This post has issues that I could have expended on and perhaps should have, but for now you have the gist of it.

“I don’t know why it’s so hard for people to admit that sometimes they’re just assholes who screw up because they don’t expect to get caught.” ― Karen M. McManus, One of Us Is Lying

 

Short Stories of my days

25 Thursday Aug 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 41 Comments

Tags

, , , , , ,

Work: My assistant is back.  Work-life returning to normal.  Well, not really. There is an on-going regulatory audit to deal with.  Perhaps will be done by October.

ATM mishap: A lesson: If the ATM looks beat-up and old, do not try to get money out of it.  The machine made a sound like it was about to spill out the money.  Never did.  The bank was closed.  Had to call my bank.  Now I have to wait 2 days to see if the money is returned to my account.

Mosaic: I will be posting my latest piece tomorrow.   The girls at the studio didn’t like it.   And perhaps that is the reason I love it so much. 

Dates:  Last night:  Went on a date with a motivational speaker.  Nice guy.  He talked so much it was overwhelming. Motivated me to try to talk less on dates.  I may have that in me.  That need to talk, talk, talk.

We went to a diner.  I had breakfast. He had dinner. He was busy talking. I was busy eating.  He took home most of his.  I ate every last bite of mine.

I got home and thanked him for the date, and mentioned there was no chemistry for me.  He sent me this:  

We certainly think very differently about the way chemistry works. I don’t like trying to be convinced otherwise, as I have tried it in the past and it doesn’t work.

And, yes Rob, he has a cat! 

Tonight: I am going on a date with a guy in the financial services industry.  For some reason I feel it is a business connection and not a romantic one.  Whatever it is, it is Thursday night – date night in my book, so I will be dressing up and having an adult beverage. 

“Short stories are tiny windows into other worlds and other minds and other dreams. They are journeys you can make to the far side of the universe and still be back in time for dinner.” –― Neil Gaiman

Oh chemistry, where are you?

20 Saturday Aug 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

≈ 30 Comments

Tags

, , , , , ,

“There are three ways you can get along with a girl: one, shut up and listen to what she has to say; two, tell her you like what she’s wearing; and three, treat her to really good food…If you do all that and still don’t get the results you want, better give up.” ― Haruki Murakami

Last night I had the second date with the 58 year semi-retired engineer. We went to La Piccola Casa em Mamaroneck, NY.  It is a restaurant that sits across the street from the Harbor.  And that is the only good thing about it.

Any time that the butter served with the bread tastes like fridge (you know, like it has been stored unsealed in the fridge for several days) I know it will not be a good experience.  I had the spaghetti Bolognese and that was okay.  My date had the spinach and veal ravioli.  He said he couldn’t detect veal or spinach. I didn’t want to try it.  There was no cocktail menu, so I had a glass of prosecco.    

For dessert I had the tiramisu and he had the chocolate mousse cake.  I took one bite of each and that was it.  Both tasted old!  I will never return to that restaurant. 

Now on to my date.  He was, again, charming and well dressed.  He said I looked pretty every chance he got.  He looked into my eyes and I could see joy.  I cannot find fault with him.  Except that there is really no chemistry.  I went on the second date hoping that I would feel sparks. No such luck.

I should know better.  With me chemistry is either there or not there, it doesn’t seem to grow out of nowhere.  But still I will always err on the side of a second date to make sure.

After dinner we walked across the street and sat at a swinging bench by the water.  It was pretty and romantic.  Really ideal, except that I felt I was sitting with a friend and not a potential lover.  I was hoping he wouldn’t try to kiss me, but at the same time I figured that would be the best way to detect if there was any chemistry.

“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.” ― Emil Ludwig

He said something cute, got up, faced me and then kissed me.  As I suspected I really felt nothing.  I kissed him back out of politeness.  I mean, what is one to do?   There was no make out session or anything, just a kiss.  It is not like he was a bad kisser.  I have had bad kissers before.  It was just no sparks.  My lips didn’t want to be there.

Didn’t I feel anything because I expected to feel nothing?  Did I really give him a chance? Do I run any time someone likes me so much?  All possibilities.

On the walk to my car he mentioned that he likes a lot kissing, touching, etc, and that we wouldn’t be a match if I didn’t like the same.  I guess he realized that I was not really into the kiss.  I didn’t have the heart to say, right then and there, what the problem really was. 

He asked me about meeting for a 3rd date this weekend.  I said that I wasn’t sure as I didn’t know about my schedule, but I would let him know.  That was the truth.  I didn’t know if I was going away this weekend or not.   And, believe it or not, I was still on the fence about a third date.  He did mention going to a steakhouse I like.  Who can blame me?

The next morning, I woke up completely sure of what I needed to do.  I had to tell him that I was not feeling it.  I just didn’t want to hurt his feelings.  Does it hurt to be told that your feelings are not reciprocated? It does! But to me it is more hurtful to be told a stupid excuse and have my intelligence insulted.

“Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.” ― James E. Faust

So when he texted me this morning to wish me a good day, I asked if he could talk.  He said yes and I called him.   I told him how amazing I think he is, but that I feel no chemistry and don’t think that it can magically appear.  I mentioned that I don’t want to waste his time and energy continuing to go on dates. 

He was very nice about it, as I knew he would be.  He said he understood.  He wished me well.  He said that he hoped I would find an amazing person.  He said to look him up any time I am in his area. I will.

The other guy from last week and I are just drifting off.  I am not really that interested either, even though he is also a nice guy.  And the search continues.

My sister and I are off to the Mountain Creek area in NJ to spend the weekend with a couple of friends. It will be very hot so we will be mostly by the pool instead of out and about or hiking.

You all have a blessed weekend! May you be open and welcoming to the infinite possibilities! Step out and take a chance.

“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity.”
― Roy Bennett

 

 

From Famine to Feast

17 Wednesday Aug 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Food, Reviews

≈ 19 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

“Everything in the universe has a rhythm, everything dances. ” ― Maya Angelou

After no dates for a while, I had 2 dates in 2 days.

The guy that I called “The Disingenuous” on the prior post invited me to go see Steely Dan.  I had not blocked him because I sensed that he was harmless and just perhaps a little misguided. I mentioned to him that I didn’t think he was serious about meeting because of what he had done before.

He apologized, and said it was not his intention to appear that he was playing games.  I said ok, and he quickly got the tickets and then asked for restaurant suggestions.  I gave him a couple of names and he booked a place that I like, Sonora Restaurant.

We met near The Capitol in Port Chester, that was where Steely Dan was playing.  From there we went together to the restaurant.  It was a gorgeous evening, so we sat outside.  We shared several small plates instead of ordering an entrée.  It just felt faster that way, as we had the concert to go to. 

We shared different tacos, eggplant meatballs, yucca fries, quinoa cakes, etc. To drink I had the Brazilian Cosmopolitan, made with blood orange vodka.  He had iced tea.  He quit drinking. He said he doesn’t have a problem with alcohol, he just feels he doesn’t need it. Everything was delicious and the conversation flowed. 

“A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul.” ― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The theater is beautiful and the concert was great.  Even though I really didn’t grow up listening to Steely Dan, I recognized a few songs.  They didn’t play their most famous one, and the one that I knew the most, Rikki Don’t Lose My Number.   The entire band was amazing. Every single one so talented!!

After the concert, he walked me to my car and we hugged goodbye.  It was the strongest hug I ever received.  The jury is still out if that was a good or bad thing.  I am thinking he was just eager.

We have texted back and forth for a little bit.  I am not sure if we will see each other again.  He is 60 years old, but looks younger. He has been married twice, and has 3 kids, the 2 youngest are 10 years old.  He works as some type of smart home/alarm sales – not sure exactly the details.  Maybe it is worth a second date.  I didn’t really feel much chemistry. I am just not sure.

“The beauty of God is in the wind, in the movement of the ocean, it is in the eyes of a woman gazing at her lover, pouring the deep red wine of love from her eyes like two crystal cups. There is a God who dances and who loves and who longs to sing of love…And I mean that God is music; all inclusive, benevolent and life-affirming, unashamed human emotion.”― Jeff Buckley

On Saturday I went on a date with a 58 years semi-retired engineer.  He has been divorced for 3 years and has 2 grown sons.  We went to an awesome restaurant called Harvest on Hudson.  It was facing the Hudson River.  The location was gorgeous and the food so yummy.  

I had an awesome cocktail, that I don’t recall the name, but it had passion fruit and Aperol in it. He had vodka soda. I had cod fish fritters for appetizer and eggplant for the entrée.  He had meatballs, and then linguine. For dessert I had the tiramisu, and it was probably the best I ever had. 

“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.” ― Mark Twain

He must have said I was beautiful at least 10 times. Not only to me, but to the hostess, to the bartender, to the waiter, to anyone we interacted with.  He also loved my dress and my glasses.

After dinner we walked by the river, then to my car.  We hugged good bye with a quick peck on the lips.  I forgot to mention, when I first met him, it seemed he was going for my lips and I turned so he gave me a peck on the cheek. In my book, when upon meeting someone, peck on the cheek is ok and the norm, on the lips no.  Yes, I am a prude lol

We have texted just a couple of times and last night he called me and invited me to dinner tomorrow (Thursday).  I said yes.  I am not sure there is a lot of chemistry but he seems so nice that I want to go on a second date and see if there is anything there. 

I had 2 great dates with 2 great guys.  When that happens I get reminded of the beauty of the potential and possibilities.  I get the feeling that I am getting closer.  One never knows, and that is why I keep trying.  Feeling blessed and hopeful.

“I have made a lot of mistakes falling in love, and regretted
most of them, but never the potatoes that went with them.” ― Nora Ephron