addictions, alcoholism, Dating, denial, gratitude, help, Kanye West, relationships, Thanksgiving
“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”
― Leonardo da Vinci
I am too dumb for Kanye West, or perhaps I am too wise … who knows, the only thing I know is that I don’t get it, I didn’t get it. I went to see him at Madison Square Garden on Saturday night and I couldn’t wait for the concert to be over. I literally couldn’t wait, so we left before the end of the concert. I was hoping he was saving the best for last, but I didn’t want to wait to find out.
I saw him last year at the Revel in Atlantic City and thoroughly enjoyed the show. I thought it was artistic and creative, so I thought I would at least enjoy some parts of this one. This time I thought it was just too egotistical. It seemed too desperate, it seemed like he was trying too hard. Why is it that just good music is no longer enough? Why all the gimmick, the masks, the religious artifacts, the self aggrandizing speeches? Like with any art form this is subjective, clearly tons of people love the show as it continues to sell out. But I much preferred the old Kanye – before the illusion of power transformed him.
“Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision.”
― Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving
I was invited to the concert by someone I met on Plenty of Fish. Yep, I am moving from E-harmony to POF – I need a bigger ocean to conduct my search :).
I don’t know why he choose to buy tickets to see Kanye, it was clear it was not his type of music. I think he was relieved when I said we should leave before the end.
He was a nice guy, but that was it. There were no sparks for me. I already knew that even before I met him, but I chose to go on the date anyway because I want to have an open mind and give a nice guy a fair chance. He did everything right, he was was gentleman, but that is not enough. I need sparks. He wanted to go out again, but I feel I would be wasting both of our times, so I said no. I don’t think a second date would change anything.
“A man who drinks too much on occasion is still the same man as he was sober. An alcoholic, a real alcoholic, is not the same man at all. You can’t predict anything about him for sure except that he will be someone you never met before.”
― Raymond Chandler, The Long Goodbye
Last night I went on a date with someone that I knew there would be tons of chemistry. We had amazing conversations on the phone and texting. He seemed to have all his ducks in a row. So I was eager to meet him.
When we finally met there was still a lot of chemistry but I detected also not thing: He has a drinking problem! As soon as we hugged hello I detected a hint of alcohol, his puffy face and mannerisms were some of the other telltale signs. I have worked with an alcoholic before and I know what it looks like.
So after we sat at the bar in a restaurant in my neighborhood I took the direct approach and asked him if he had a drinking problem. He denied and got defensive. Then, he says: I don’t think so, I have incredible kids attending elite universities so clearly I am able to function well in society and must be doing something right. Oh sure, that clears that right up!! NOT! It is amazing the lies that people tell themselves to avoid facing their problems, to make it seem that all is well and nothing needs changing.
I wish I could help him, but I cannot help someone that doesn’t have a problem and until he admits it, no one can help. I felt very bad for him and specially for his family. I am inclined to think that is the reason his marriage failed. I brought up AA, but that didn’t go over well.
I don’t have a problem with having baggage from our pasts, we all do, but I have a problem with lies, and worst of all with someone lying to himself about something so serious.
There is not enough chemistry, money, chivalry and good looks in the world to make me choose to stay in that sinking ship. I had half a drink and politely called it the night. Later he texted and called trying to convince me that we could still work, then he resorted to tell me that I hurt him with my accusation. But I stood my ground, I didn’t force the issue and just blamed myself, I took the “it is me, not you” route.
At any rate I am so happy that I am able to let my mind discern things for me and not let my heart alone roam free. I am grateful that God/Universe always opens my eyes.
… and the search happily continues …
“If I only had three words of advice, they would be, Tell the Truth. If got three more words, I’d add, all the time.”
― Randy Pausch
“Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.”
― Thích Nhất Hạnh
You all have an awesome Thanksgiving!! no turkey for me. I am thinking chicken for one!
I will be making a list of all the awesome things I have to be grateful for, and there are so many small and large miracles in my life, in anyone’s life really, if they choose to look close enough.
You, person that reads and relates to my words, reader that comments and showers me with positive thoughts, commentator that prays for me and encourages me to be myself and to continue strong, you don’t know how much you do for me and the extent of my gratitude! Thoughts have power, and your power in my life is positively felt! A soulful, simple but very heartfelt thank you!
A grateful attitude can change the world! Try it today!
Be Happy! Be blessed! Be grateful!
“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”