Tag Archives: Brazil

The joys of returning home and being aware of my flaws!

16 Wednesday Oct 2013

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“Every traveler has a home of his own, and he learns to appreciate it the more from his wandering.” ― Charles Dickens

I am back!! And happy to be back!

I love going away, but I love returning home even more. I love getting back to my routine, going to work, feeling like a productive member of society. I have been living in the USA for almost 30 years. I love Brazil, but US feels more like home by now. I don’t tell anyone this, but I feel a bit out of place in Brazil. It is not a matter of liking here better, is a matter of being more comfortable here – of knowing what to do and how to behave.

I had fun in Brazil; I did nothing and overindulged in sweets. I probably gained 10 pounds – no kidding! The cakes in Brazil are to die for (well, literally if you overindulge hahaha). Condensed milk and heavy cream are present in almost every dessert.

There was a major miracle during my stay there. For the first time in ages my father agreed to go to a restaurant with us. He never liked going out to eat much, or going out for any social reason for that matter. After one of his legs was amputated (a combination of cancer and diabetes) he has become even more of a homebody, mostly enjoying staying in and watching sports. We try to get him to go out but we don’t bother him too much, we are just extremely happy that is still alive and with us after the cancer scare. So when my mother said to him: “on Saturday we are going to eat at Casa Geraldo”, a winery and restaurant in the country side, we were all surprised, well, actually shocked, when he agreed. We were all expecting to hear all the excuses that he normally uses not to go. I was sure he was just changing his tactics and at last minute would choose to stay home. But surprise, surprise, there was no mind changing at the last minute.  We all went and had an awesome time.

Yummy food, beautiful place, great wine! Here is to people changing old habits and trying new things. Here is to open mind and open hearts! So much fun, I cannot wait to return: http://casageraldo.com.br/site/?page_id=10

Mom has come back to the US with me. She will stay for one month and drive me nuts by trying to over-feed me. Since Mom is here this will be the month of casinos, shopping, Chinese food and homemade treats!!

While in Brazil I had a minor disagreement with my sister and last night when my head hit the pillow I had a revelation. I realized that I am oftentimes (and this very evening) guilty of what I was blaming her. It is indeed true that we are normally guilty of having the very same traits that we mostly dislike on people. I am guilty of harping on a subject when nothing will be accomplished by my doing that, of not letting something go, of not letting sleeping dogs lie! I did that last night to mom and later was sorry for having acted that way. So last night in my prayers I not only thanked God for all my blessings but I asked for calm, sensibility and the ability to realize when I need to let a subject drop. And of course I asked for forgiveness.

Always when returning from a trip I come back renewed and refreshed with new ideas and the motivation to start new projects and continue old ones.  So here is to new beginnings and completion of goals. May this new motivation stay and not fall by the wayside.

“Rushing into action, you fail.
Trying to grasp things, you lose them.
Forcing a project to completion,
you ruin what was almost ripe.

Therefore the Master takes action
by letting things take their course.
He remains as calm at the end 
as at the beginning.
He has nothing,
thus has nothing to lose.
What he desires is non-desire;
what he learns is to unlearn.
He simply reminds people
of who they have always been.
He cares about nothing but the Tao.
Thus he can care for all things.” 
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Update on my new friends

04 Friday Oct 2013

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“Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” 
― Anaïs Nin

Milton. https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2013/07/16/milton-my-new-friend/  I haven’t seen him in awhile.  His birthday was September 30 and I was going to bring him a cupcake but again he was not in his usual spot.  They have repair going on that corner and I looked around to see if he had moved to another corner but couldn’t find him.

I am hoping that is a good sign.  He had been waiting on NY City to get him housing, so perhaps that means that they relocated him to some kind of housing.

*****

C, a resident from the Nursing home called me.  https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2013/09/11/when-the-right-thing-is-also-the-hardest-thing/

He has a hard time speaking, it takes effort and concentration for the words to come out and when they do is very low and hard to understand.  Even in person I have to keep asking him to repeat, so in the telephone was worse.

I tried my best to understand and I think we were able to get some things understood.  He misses me and wants me to call or visit.  I mentioned that I had sent him a card and he said he didn’t get it.

I hope the Nursing home is not holding on to the cards that I sent.  I bought Halloween cards to some of the residents I used to visit.  For convenience and because I didn’t have everyone’s last name I put it all in a FedEx envelope and sent them to D., the girl that works there and did the visits with em.  I can’t imagine her holding on to it and not handing out.

C.  has an appointment on November 11 with a throat doctor.  He said the doctor will inject Vitamin C on his vocal chords and he will be able to speak better.  I hope that all goes well with that.  It is so hard to watch him speaking.

I am going to see if the nursing home lets me visit him when I return from my trip.

*****

This feels a bit rushed as I am leaving in 5 minutes on my way to the airport. I am going to Brazil to see my family.  I am blessed, and even more blessed for knowing I am blessed! 

Thank you God, Thank you Universe! 🙂

“Reflect upon your present blessings — of which every man has many — not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” 
― Charles Dickens

Update – what I have been up to lately

24 Tuesday Sep 2013

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Update https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2013/08/21/being-a-bridesmaid-is-for-the-birds/

So the wedding has come and gone, and honestly I am so happy it is gone.  No more worrying about the dress.  I finally settled on a sleeveless Ralph Lauren Lace gown with a slit on the side.  The only guidelines were: it had to be long and champagne.  The other bridesmaids had gowns that were shinier than mine.  One of the girls looked like she was going to attend a Quincenera party.  I think that deep down inside she wanted to be more beautiful than the bride. 

All in all the wedding went well.  I ended up having to give a speech.  I expected the sister of the bride and who I thought the Maid of Honor was to do it, but at the rehearsal when the event planner asked who was going to give the champagne toast/speech all eyes turned to me, including my friend the bride, so I had to say yes.  That night I wrote a few words.  It was pretty good for a last minute thing, it had humor and it was heartfelt.  When the time came I got up, got the page to read the speech and, I guess, out of nerves, I couldn’t make a word out on that paper, so I had to go from memory and improvise a bit.  It worked! People laughed and applauded at the right times.

The most important thing is my friend (the bride) was happy with how everything turned out.

“I want my time to be taken up by chores, errands, appointments, and arguments. In other words, I want to get married.” 
― Jarod Kintz

***

Work is still up and down, and down, and down… when are we going to be stable and not have to worry about money???

***

Update https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2013/01/25/embarrassed-to-be-brazilian/

Finally I will be getting a Brazilian passport valid for 5 years instead of just 1 year. It is all about the person that helps you.  This woman that I talk to today didn’t want to see any documents other than the old passport and a copy of my birth certificate.  She said she doesn’t understand why I was given such a hard time in the past. All is well that ends well!

***

It was my dad’s birthday yesterday.  He is 77 years old.   Amazing he is alive after battling cancer and coming so close to dying.  His will to live, and fear of dying is what I believe made the difference. Well, the doctors also said that the fact that he never smoke or drank a day in his life helped insure the success of the operation he had to go through.

***

Classes:

I started a mosaic class last week.  It will be a total of 5 classes, and at the end I will have a finished product. I have to be honest and say I didn’t love the first class.  I loved the teacher’s loft with water views.  I want to live in a loft with water views!!!

I also started tap/jazz classes. It will be held once a week, on Friday evenings.  Not my first preference for the day of the week to have class, I already had to miss last week.  There will be a recital in June.  Tell me, why do I sign up for this stuff?

***

e-Harmony

it has been okay. Nobody interesting at the moment, but things can change rather quickly – this is the beauty of life, I guess – things can change in an instant.  Some times I am more motivated, other times I am realizing the joys of being single.

***

Brazil here I  come!! October 4th.  So now I am on the packing and shopping phase/craze.

***

Ex, oh Ex, why after 2 years you still matter? why does my heart still hurts?

Will devote a post to that in a couple of days.

“Love is the absence of judgment.” 
― Dalai Lama XIV

Ohio and New York are friends!

13 Friday Sep 2013

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e-Harmony is becoming a great place for me to make friends.  I haven’t had too many dates, but the ones that I had have all been great guys, but – there is always a but – no chemistry.

“Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.” 
― Paulo Coelho

My last date was a 4-day date.  He lives in Ohio and came for a long weekend starting on Thursday. Even before the date I knew this was not going to be romance and just friendship.  I think he knew that too. But still we wanted to meet because we seemed to speak the same language regarding a lot of subjects. I am interested in meeting smart people, not necessarily just a potential mate.  I am interested in learning from people.

It was a great weekend!  It started with watching some tennis and having dinner at the US Open on Thursday night.

On Friday I took the day off and showed him my town.  We had breakfast at my apartment, ran errands and walked to the park and beach.  Then an early dinner at a local Indian restaurant followed by a train ride to the city for a Broadway show.  We saw Motown and it was awesome!

Saturday during the day we went to Central Park and had lunch at Plataforma – Brazilian Rodizio.  We were going to MOMA but we wanted to see the men’s semi final match so we went to a Pub to watch the match instead.   After that we took the train back home.  We got to my apartment too exhausted to do anything else other than watch TV: College Football (not my first choice but I am a gracious host. I even made awesome popcorn!)

On Sunday we met up at his hotel and had breakfast at a nearby diner and then I drove him to the airport.  I was exhausted from the weekend and considered it a success since I had fun and made a friend in the process.  In person he wasn’t as smart and interesting, but still we had great conversations.

“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.” 
― Eleanor Roosevelt

There is one thing annoying me now.  On Monday he sent me a text saying that he wanted to keep our relationship just on a friendship level.  I was shocked! What? Why did he need to send this text?  What in my behavior made it seem that I wanted anything other than friendship?

Even before he came we had already talked about the fact that we both felt we could be awesome friends and were not sure about romance. Upon meeting for the first time there was no fireworks or even a spark of chemistry, at that moment I knew there was not a chance of romance here.  Throughout the weekend there was no attempt at hand holding or any physical contact, there was no flirting or any conversation that had any tone of romance.  And to me it was perfectly fine since I didn’t want to have to turn him down.

Did he think I entertained any romantic ideas about him?  What gave him that impression?  I was a gracious host and went out of my way to make sure he had a nice time, but I am Brazilian and that is what we do when we have a visitor, any visitor.  You come to my house you will get the VIP treatment.

Why the need to say anything? I am curious and yet have learned that I don’t need to know everything.  So I will not ask him why he thought he needed to clarify something that I thought was more than clear.

I just replied: It is great when everyone is in agreement!

“A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.” 
― Rita Rudner

I am not disappointed with e-Harmony. This time around I am okay with it.  I guess it has to do with expectations.  I am not in it to find the One, I am there mostly as distraction and to meet people.  If I find the One in the process it will be wonderful, but if I don’t it is okay too.  I like the idea of putting myself out there and meeting different people. I have met men that I would not have met otherwise.  While learning about them I realized I learned even more about myself. Just wonderful!

Since I am my biggest fan, I applaud my resilience, my willingness to get out there and try.  I love how thick skinned I have gotten.  One thing I am realizing is that I am incredibly lucky and blessed to have my freedom and independence.  I can do whatever I want, whenever I want!

It is not about finding a partner anymore.  It is about enjoying this very moment!

“Happiness, not in another place but this place…not for another hour, but this hour.” 
― Walt Whitman

My crazy friend Dalton!

22 Monday Jul 2013

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I have known Dalton since he arrived in NY from Brazil in 1985. We have one of those relationships where we spend years without seeing each other and may speak once a year, or even longer, but every time we talk we pick up where we left off, like we had just spoken yesterday.

He will call me when he has an art showing or he is planning a trip to Brazil.  I call him when I see his name or his sculptures/artwork in some publication.

Dalton makes sculptures on the lead of a pencil (or whatever the inside of a pencil is made of).  I think he simply calls it “sharpening”.  The type of crazy detailed work that few can do or has the crazy detailed patience and focus to attempt.

I called him last week because I saw a small blurb about his artwork on O, The Oprah Magazine.  I left a message saying that I wanted to make sure to be in touch with him now that he was about to explode in popularity.  He had a good laugh about it.  He has one of those very freeing laughs, and he normally laughs at everything I say.

Dalton made me realize that I have great friends and that I should make more of an effort to be in touch with them.  I wish I would call friends more often, but unfortunately I am one of those friends that is right here for you should you need me but I will not call you unless I have something to say.  I have to stop that.  I have to start calling just to say hi, and say that I care.

Anyway, going back to Dalton, I call him crazy, not only because of his art work, but because of the minimalist way he chooses to live his life.  He doesn’t own a TV, computer or even a cell phone.   He has a Facebook account and a website now, but both are done and maintained by a friend.  I am not sure he even looks at them.

He told me now that he recently gave up listening to the radio.  He says he finds that since then he is more aware of his surroundings, the world and himself.  He has had more and clearer ideas. I don’t doubt that!

I am in awe and a little jealous of that type of focus,  but at the same time I think that is too drastic.  I believe in moderation.  Could I live without TV?  I believe I could as I believe that I can do whatever I set my mind to.  But, I believe that there is good and bad in everything, technology included.  It all depends on how you use it, and how much you use it.

Even though I enjoy living alone, everything I do is accompanied by the TV or the radio.  TV has always been part of my life.  My TV is my cat or dog, it is companion.  You will never find me just sitting and watching it, but it will be on most of the time.  If the TV is off, then the radio is on.  Perhaps I do have a problem with silence.  I notice that if I am with other people and there is silence I immediately fill it by saying something.  I can never let silence reign.

I think I need to try meditating again.  I attempted at the time of the Break up, and I think it helped.  I was in so much pain at that time that I would have tried anything that I thought it would help.

Enough about me and my shortcomings/bad habits, this post is about Dalton.  I debated the title for awhile as I do have a problem with calling someone crazy just because they are different.  I love the unique, the different, the strange.  I love people that believe and live by their own rules, therefore I respect Dalton immensely.  I decided to leave crazy in the title as this is what I always call him and he takes no offense by it.  I think he sees it as a term of endearment; and it is!

Here is Dalton’s website if you want to check out more of his work out:

http://daltonmghetti.com/

https://www.facebook.com/DaltonGhetti

“I think if I’ve learned anything about friendship, it’s to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don’t walk away, don’t be distracted, don’t be too busy or tired, don’t take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff.” 
― Jon Katz

BRAZIL: The revolt of the Happy Giant!

20 Thursday Jun 2013

Posted by in Daily Life, EX Files

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“World peace must develop from inner peace. Peace is not just mere absence of violence. Peace is, I think, the manifestation of human compassion.” 
― Dalai Lama 

Please note: I am the least political person in the world. I don’t like discussing politics and religion, normally wanting to keep my opinions to myself and avoiding conflict. I will tell anyone what I think if I am asked but I will not go out of my way to address certain issues.  I also don’t feel I have read enough and understand enough to opine, but I feel the need to say something, from my Brazilian heart.  There is danger in keeping quiet, there is danger in not voicing your opinions, there is danger in going with the flow.

In addition, Ex sent me a text saying how sorry he was about the protests going on in Brazil.  I replied thanking him and saying it was a good thing.  He was shocked by my reply to agreeing with a protest for a few cents.  This morning he sent me this article saying that now that he read it my reply makes more sense:

http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-988431?hpt=hp_bn8

So,  I decided to write about the protest going on in Brazil right now.

“You may choose to look the other way but you can never say again that you did not know.” 
― William Wilberforce

Today I am wearing my Brazilian Soccer jersey, which a lot of my co-workers thought it was because Brazil beat Mexico yesterday in a soccer game. So I guess I am killing 2 birds with one stone 🙂  My soccer jersey is to show my support to Brazil and perhaps an invitation to people to talk to me about Brazil, and I can’t deny I love Brazilian soccer.

The idea of the protest in Brazil is a good thing. I think it does lack a bit of clarity.  Is there a clear list of demands? oh wait, is that what protesters do or perhaps that is what hijackers do? whatever it is I am confused to what we (Brazilians) want.  We want change, but perhaps at this time we need to be more specific and spell it out the list of changes!

“Until he extends the circle of his compassion to all living things, man will not himself find peace.” 
― Albert Schweitzer

The protest is not about the increase of a few cents on public transportation fares! It is about the never ending corruption and inequality.  It is about the changing of laws to protect the corrupt and powerful. It is about hospitals and schools in deplorable state.  It is about so much more.

I hate to see hurt and destruction provoked by vandals and criminals that take the opportunity of the protest to cause chaos; but to the protest and the reasons behind it I say: “It is about time!”

Next year will mark 30 years of leaving Brazil and living in the USA.  In all these  years I go to Brazil every year and have the opportunity to notice the changes in our economy and way of life.  Also my family lives there, so I know how their lives have improved.  Brazilians now have jobs available, we are eating better, travelling more, have access to everything the First world has (and speaking of First world, Second World, Third World, what is up with that? we are all one world!!!).  We have come a long way, and I see improvements in most areas, but still we are so far from where we could and should be.

Education, healthcare and the justice system needs an immediate overhaul.  Income inequality is another area that needs to be addressed asap.

The past several years I have witnessed a resurgence of “being proud to be Brazilian”.  I credit Lula (former President  Luis Inacio Lula da Silva) for putting Brazil in the world economy map and bringing about change.  I may not agree with everything he has done, and he has had his share of political scandals, but there was decidedly an improvement in the economy in Brazil caused by his presidency.  No single person alone can change a country and please everybody.

“Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.” 
― Amelia Earhart

When I speak,  I speak of my experience, I speak of my family’s experience living in the suburbs of Sao Paulo. The experience and lives of people living in other areas of huge Brazil are vastly different.  The truth is, to one degree or another the entire Brazil suffers.

I have been happy with the little improvements in Brazil.  Perhaps that has been Brazil’s problem all along: to be happy with the little that has been offered, never causing any waves, always wanting to please.  When you never had much a little can seem huge! As long as we have our Sunday football, yearly carnival, daily soap operas, we are happy and quiet!

Criminals go impune hiding behind an outdated criminal code (he/she is a minor, it is his/her first offense, and the list to go totally scot free goes on and on and on.  Criminals get arrested today and go free on the same day.  The Brazilian Legal System has become a joke.  Brazilians citizens have lost total faith.

I pray this opportunity for the Powers that Be to take notice and do something about it is not wasted. But honestly I don’t have high hopes.

In Brazil we are so used to things not getting done, not getting resolved, specially with the politicians in Brasilia, that we even coined a term “tudo vai acabar em pizza”, meaning “everything will end up in pizza”.  It means they will talk about it, fight with each other, say they have the people’s best interest at heart, but in the end all stays the same and the politicians, or the people in charge, end up in a bar eating pizza together.

The coming up World Cup is the icing on the corruption cake! Where is all the money going?

I am proud, happy and blessed to be both Brazilian and American. My prayers go to my fellow Brazilians living in Brazil.  May we be noticed and heard!

My truth is I have 2 loves which I cannot say which one I love more.  Brazil is my first love, Brazil is in my blood and in my heart.  US is my day to day, the welcoming open arms, the land of opportunity. Brazil is my biological country, US is my adoptive country!

My heart aches for Brazil, Turkey, Syria, anywhere and everywhere in the world where there is political turmoil and unrest.  May compassion be in the heart of all, may the powerful be kind, may the weak be strong.  May understanding be a bridge to a peaceful destination.

“The day the power of love overrules the love of power, the world will know peace.” 

― Mahatma Gandhi

My life is a trip and a pain in my hip …

23 Tuesday Apr 2013

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It has been one week since I came back from Brazil and I am already itching to get back on a plane/road somewhere or at least to make plans to.  I was in the Finger Lakes region in January, Colorado in February, Brazil in April, I am ready to plan my next trip, even if it is for a one day getaway on a neighboring town.

I find that one of the best parts of going away is coming back. I always come back tired, but renewed and reenergized, full of ideas and goals.  This time back from Brazil it is no different.  I am full of energy, even if my hip is not willing to go along with the physical aspect of it.  It is exciting to think that there is so much I can do and accomplish it is all a matter of taking the first step and then continuing taking steps.

Mom is in town so I have been spoiled with home cooked meals, I have been over indulging in shopping and casino trips.  When my patience wears thin I remind myself that she is 78 yrs old.  Our major point of contention is the fact that she doesn’t stop. She is either cooking, cleaning, or painting and doing crafts. Right at this moment she is painting me a painting of Brazilian favelas (I will make sure to post the final product) after having done laundry, gone shopping and then she will make dinner and dessert. I guess there are worst things in the world than a mother that doesn’t stop, but the point of her visit here is for her to rest and she is not doing any of that!A bit

My hip has gone from bad to worst.  I am looking forward to seeing a Sports Medicine Orthopedic surgeon on Thursday.  I am hoping he will have answers for me or at least start on the way to answers.

I decided not to date while Mom is here and dedicate my non-working time to her.  It is amazing to me how some men that I didn’t even meet yet already have a problem with my lack of time in this period.  I guess that is a good weeding measure for me.  The right man will understand my limited time with my mom and wait.  With that being said I am having a lunch date today, since I am meeting during the day and not dipping into Mom’s time.  It so happens that a guy I met on e-harmony has an office 3 blocks from my office – what are the odds, right?

I am supposed to pick the place for lunch and now we have hit on one of my flaws (I hardly have any- lol).  I am incapable of making a decision when faced with too many choices on trivial matters.  The more trivial the subject the worst it is.  When facing important decisions I am quick and determined, but with stupid stuff such as a place to eat lunch I freeze. Gosh, it is only lunch! Am I worried what my choice will say about me? Am I afraid of picking an awful place?  I don’t know what it is, but with certain choices such as this I rather somebody else does it.

With important matters and facing problems I leap to action while little, unimportant things have me baffled  and worrying.  I wonder what does it say about me.

 

March 28 …. A wonderful day to be born!

28 Thursday Mar 2013

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Food

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Today is my birthday (and my twin sister’s also, of course 🙂 ) the best part about having a twin is having a partner for life! No matter how far apart we live or what is going on in our lives I know she is there and she adores me like I adore her!

Normally on my birthday I want to run and hide.  In the past I wished people would just forget about it.  But this year is different!  For some reason I want to celebrate it! Let’s face it, how many times am I going to turn 47? Only once! So we may as well make it memorable.

Last night I was taken for an awesome dinner at Xaviars on the Hudson.  Peter Kelly, the chef, himself took our order.  The service was impeccable, the food was delicious, and the view amazing, it is right on the water (why didn’t I take a picture?).

CowboyRibEye

Here is what I had:

Composed “BLT” Salad
Iceberg Lettuce with Green Goddess Dressing
Grilled Slab Bacon & Beef Steak Tomatoes

Aged & Grilled Cowboy Rib Eye
with Sauce Béarnaise, Brown Sugar & Cayenne Crust

Creamed Spinach and Potato Gratin

Carnaroli Risotto – Wild Mushrooms and Red Wine Syrup

Crispy Cauliflower – Nuoc Cham Butter

3 desserts (on my birthday only 1 wouldn’t do it)

Warm Valrhona Chocolate Cake
Grand Marnier Ice Cream & Orange Confit

Frozen Caramel Soufflé
Served with Warm Cardamom Donuts

Pistachio Dariole with Chocolate
Pistachio Mousse & Milk Chocolate Ice Cream

Perhaps I overate 🙂 It is now 2 pm the following day and I still haven’t been able to eat a thing – not even my beloved bread and butter for breakfast!

I even passed on the traditional Crumbs cupcake we normally get at the office – I took a rain check and will have them when I come back from my trip.

Tonight I am going to another awesome restaurant, well I think it will be awesome, but I wasn’t told where we are going yet.  I hope to have my appetite back by then.

Tomorrow I am off to Brazil!!! On Sunday we will be having a barbecue to celebrate our birthday, followed by the most awesome chocolate cake one can ever dream of!

Did I ever tell you how crazy good are the bakeries and cake stores in Brazil? They are divine!

I just got a surprise delivery from Blissful Brownies!! I love surprises!  It came from this guy I dated probably 6/7 years ago and all of a sudden he calls me at the office last week.  I haven’t seen him yet and I am trying to remember why I broke up with him.  I asked him and he says that I told him that I had too much going on in my life and needed time to work things out and then I just never called him again. I don’t remember any of it.  I remember he is younger than I am, so maybe that is the reason, but I would have told him that.

Oh well, at any rate, now I will probably have to give him the courtesy of buying me a dinner/drink! One thing I know is if it didn’t work back then it is probably not going to work now – I am older, wiser, know what I want and my standards are much higher!

This post should be entitled Food, Food and more Food!!  Oh well it is my birthday after all, so today I am choosing to focus on the gift of my life and how blessed I am!

I will worry about work issues, hip pain, refinancing gone wrong, and other headaches tomorrow.

Today is party time!

HIP HIP HOORAY!!!

21 Thursday Mar 2013

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Nothing like pain to stop someone on their tracks!

The pain on my right hip has gotten so bad that I decided to take February off from most of my physical activities to see if my hip would get better (or good enough to be able to ski in February) on its own.  Since then I have been doing only Pilates, although skipping some exercises.  That worked somewhat well since I was able to goes skiing at the end of February.  By 3 pm everyday my hip would remind me that skiing was coming for an end for the day.  Still I had so much fun and was grateful for being able to ski at all.

I have always felt that my right hip was not really right, but it never bothered me enough to go to a doctor.  But I would joke, every now and then, that I would eventually have a hip replacement (and every time I said I would cringe and admonish myself, and I don’t want to give the Universe any ideas).  Everythign changed for the worst when I started volunteering. I enjoyed the manual labor and the cleaning and clearing out stuff so much I overdid.  Cleaning it is kind of cathartic to me, I feel better and lighter after it, even if the stuff I am getting rid of is not mine – lol

So this nagging hip and shoulder pain has been around since the end of last year.  I stop the volunteering and hoped that that would do the trick, but I guess the damage was already done.  Now that it started to interfere with my life I realized it was time to seek help.

I went to a neurologist at the Hospital for Joint Diseases.  This doctor was very well recommended… well the number one recommended doctor didn’t take my insurance, so he was the next best 🙂 After a consultation and x-rays, the doctor calls me and tells me that the x-rays shows nothing wrong with my hip.

I didn’t know if I should be happy or sad with that news. I know something is wrong, I feel it, and the pain is hard to ignore.  The doctor thinks it is perhaps a soft tissue problem and recommended I go to one of his colleagues, a Sports Medicine Orthopedic Surgeon.

I have not made an appointment yet. I am scheduled to go to Brazil next week (yippie!), so I decided to deal with that when I return.  I am also thinking about going to a chiropractor first before going this doctor.

Hopefully resting my hip as I have been will continue to help.

This has been and will continue to be a tremendous exercise in patient and perseverance.  Patience with my body and staying the course after a stumble.

I was so happy with my physical activities and that  its results on my body.  I guess with that came the feeling of  strength and invincibility which normally shows itself when I am feeling mighty good about myself.  When I feel invincible I tend to overdo it and disrespect nature and myself. Then, this very patient teacher called Life steps in, and once again, attempts to teach me to listen and respect my body.

Life also uses this opportunity to test my patience and ability to persevere. Am I going to fall apart now and revert to couch potato sugar eating junkie?  Or am I just going to weather this storm and continue slowly but surely towards my goal of a life of moderation, equal parts of fun and hard-work?

I want my chocolate cake and eat it too! I want to do all in moderation and not feel I am depriving myself of anything.  I want to exercise, but also watch tv and eat a chocolate chip cookie.  To me it is dangerous to veer off too much to one side versus the other.

And speaking of cake, as I am turning 47 next week, the age factor is also weighing heavily on me. Can I still do everything I want to do (tennis, skiing, and a lot more new things) or am I just showing up too late for this party?

I don’t know what my body will be able to accomplish until I try it.  I am going to put age and pain aside and work smart and steady.  I am not going down without a fight!! 🙂

Be good to your hip!

the one instance when I am embarrassed to be Brazilian!

25 Friday Jan 2013

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Don’t get me wrong, I love Brazil and I love and pride myself on being this hot blooded sassy Brazilian.  But every time I go to the Brazilian Consulate in NY and see how rudely the agents there treat Americans and Brazilians alike I cringe and shrink in my seat.  The agents are short tempered and condescending.   They don’t think twice about sending you away, it doesn’t matter how many hours you have traveled to get there.

When I think of a consulate I think of an organization that was created to help citizens in foreign countries.  Unfortunately that is not what you happens when you visit the Brazilian Consulate in New York.  They go out of their way to make Brazilian’s lives difficult.  They take pleasure out of making you feel inferior.  I dare say that they resent us for leaving Brazil and choosing to live in another country.  I don’t know if that is a fact or not but it is the feeling that I get.  And I am not alone, every Brazilian that I speak to is quick to point out a problem that they have faced in dealing with the Consulate!

Last year I needed a passport in 24 hrs, and after a lot of begging they gave to me, but to penalize me, instead of renewing for 5 years they renewed it for 1 year, which meant that 6 months later I have to go through the whole process again (forms, pictures, money from the US Postal Service – they do not accept it from any place – it has to be from the Post Office)

So there I go again last week, armed with my old (well, 6 months old) passport to renew it.  I fill the application online, email to ask for appointment, I take the picture as per the specifications, I get the money order from the Post Office and on the assigned day I stand in line for over 1 hour.  When my turn comes, the woman at the window looks at my documents and makes faces at everything, she questions me on the quality of the copies of my documents, she lectures me on the need to get some of my identifications redone.  She has a smirk on her face every time she points out something I should do better or different.  I am biting my tongue and trying the nice approach first.

After she collected all the documentation she issues me a number and a receipt so that I can come in one week to get the passport.  I feel an immense relief! First time that I will get this done without numerous trips and some begging.  I am thinking to myself, once I get my passport I wont have to deal with these people for another 4 1/2 years!

3 days letter,  I get a voice mail from the consulate agent that helped (well that is really not the right word)  with my paperwork.   To summarize her message, she said that unless I present an original birth certificate they will not give me a passport!

I guess giving me a passport for the previous 30 years is not proof enough that I am Brazilian! And of course I am not going to dare ask them to give me then a Visa on my American passport instead- I made that mistake years ago an still remember the scolding I got!

After searching through my documents I find 5 different certified copies of my birth certificate, one even includes a certified English translation. I go back to the consulate and after the required waiting in line time, I talk to her and present everything I have, and promise to get another copy when I get to Brazil.

She looks at each copy and is clearly not happy with any of them, she narrows in on the fact that the letter I in my name is faded from the birth certificate being folded for many years.  She again preaches to me how I should go and get another one the first thing I do when I get to Brazil, and how easy it is – I am not going to explain to her that it is not as simple as she is describing. And she tells me to sit down and wait.  I am happy and feel that telling me to wait is because they will give me the passport.

After waiting for 30 minutes she finally calls me over and hands me the passport and asks me to sign it (I am so happy and relieved!), I ask where and she says: The same place where you signed the last one! Yes it would kill her to point out to me where to sign.  I eventually find the right line and as I am signing she says:  next time if you have all the documentation in order perhaps you will get one for 5 years!!

My face fell, my spirits sank, no they didn’t! Yes they did!! Again they gave me another passport valid for 1 year only.  So in approximate 6 months I will have to do all this all over again.  By then I will have redone all the documentation that they gave me a hard time with.  I wonder what will they find fault with next?

But to summarize, it is not even all the impossible and picky requirements, it is the holier than thou attitude, it is the condescending tone of voice, it is the unnecessary preaching and lecturing that makes you feel 2 feet tall! That is what makes me feel embarrassed every time I am in the consulate and see non-Brazilians being subjected to that!

I was once told that it is called reciprocation, that that is the same way Brazilians are treated at the American Consulate in Brazil! Tit for tat? To me that is not a good excuse.  At least no one can say they discriminate, no matter what your race is you will be treated badly!

Thank you Consulate General of Brazil in New York! You make me proud! NOT!