Brazil, Dating, e-harmony, friendship, in the moment, Motown, tennis
e-Harmony is becoming a great place for me to make friends. I haven’t had too many dates, but the ones that I had have all been great guys, but – there is always a but – no chemistry.
“Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.”
― Paulo Coelho
My last date was a 4-day date. He lives in Ohio and came for a long weekend starting on Thursday. Even before the date I knew this was not going to be romance and just friendship. I think he knew that too. But still we wanted to meet because we seemed to speak the same language regarding a lot of subjects. I am interested in meeting smart people, not necessarily just a potential mate. I am interested in learning from people.
It was a great weekend! It started with watching some tennis and having dinner at the US Open on Thursday night.
On Friday I took the day off and showed him my town. We had breakfast at my apartment, ran errands and walked to the park and beach. Then an early dinner at a local Indian restaurant followed by a train ride to the city for a Broadway show. We saw Motown and it was awesome!
Saturday during the day we went to Central Park and had lunch at Plataforma – Brazilian Rodizio. We were going to MOMA but we wanted to see the men’s semi final match so we went to a Pub to watch the match instead. After that we took the train back home. We got to my apartment too exhausted to do anything else other than watch TV: College Football (not my first choice but I am a gracious host. I even made awesome popcorn!)
On Sunday we met up at his hotel and had breakfast at a nearby diner and then I drove him to the airport. I was exhausted from the weekend and considered it a success since I had fun and made a friend in the process. In person he wasn’t as smart and interesting, but still we had great conversations.
“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt
There is one thing annoying me now. On Monday he sent me a text saying that he wanted to keep our relationship just on a friendship level. I was shocked! What? Why did he need to send this text? What in my behavior made it seem that I wanted anything other than friendship?
Even before he came we had already talked about the fact that we both felt we could be awesome friends and were not sure about romance. Upon meeting for the first time there was no fireworks or even a spark of chemistry, at that moment I knew there was not a chance of romance here. Throughout the weekend there was no attempt at hand holding or any physical contact, there was no flirting or any conversation that had any tone of romance. And to me it was perfectly fine since I didn’t want to have to turn him down.
Did he think I entertained any romantic ideas about him? What gave him that impression? I was a gracious host and went out of my way to make sure he had a nice time, but I am Brazilian and that is what we do when we have a visitor, any visitor. You come to my house you will get the VIP treatment.
Why the need to say anything? I am curious and yet have learned that I don’t need to know everything. So I will not ask him why he thought he needed to clarify something that I thought was more than clear.
I just replied: It is great when everyone is in agreement!
“A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.”
― Rita Rudner
I am not disappointed with e-Harmony. This time around I am okay with it. I guess it has to do with expectations. I am not in it to find the One, I am there mostly as distraction and to meet people. If I find the One in the process it will be wonderful, but if I don’t it is okay too. I like the idea of putting myself out there and meeting different people. I have met men that I would not have met otherwise. While learning about them I realized I learned even more about myself. Just wonderful!
Since I am my biggest fan, I applaud my resilience, my willingness to get out there and try. I love how thick skinned I have gotten. One thing I am realizing is that I am incredibly lucky and blessed to have my freedom and independence. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want!
It is not about finding a partner anymore. It is about enjoying this very moment!
“Happiness, not in another place but this place…not for another hour, but this hour.”
― Walt Whitman