Author Archives: A Star on the Forehead

Sunday date with a river view

10 Thursday Nov 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“She paused and added seriously, ‘Isn’t it funny the way we’re talking, just as though we’ve known each other for years and years.’
He said easily, ‘Oh, I’m a great believer in instant friendship.” ― Betty Neels, The Little Dragon

I don’t like to drive too long for a first date, but when my date chooses Harvest on Hudson Restaurant, I will gladly drive the 25 minutes it takes to get there.

I got there a few minutes before he did.  We met by the door and hugged hello.  The hostess sat us at a table with a beautiful view of the Hudson River.

He is 64 years old. He works in real estate management and construction.  Twice divorced, no kids. He looked better in person.

In most of my dates there is never a lack of conversation.  And this one was no different, we talked a lot.  He probably talked more than I did.  He shared a lot, actually perhaps a bit too much for a first date.

He shared some details of his childhood that brought the mood down a bit.  Nothing crazy, but enough to make the mood turn serious and emotional. I appreciated him feeling comfortable enough with me to share some painful memories, but I was glad that we moved on from that conversation and we could just have fun conversation.

First dates are supposed to be light and fun.  But then again, there are no rules.  I thought about my own behavior on first dates.  I often feel I share too much as well, so I will try to tone it down in the future.

“There’s a sorrow and pain in everyone’s life, but every now and then there’s a ray of light that melts the loneliness in your heart and brings comfort like hot soup and a soft bed.” — Hubert Selby Jr., “Requiem for a Dream”

The food was delicious.  For appetizers we shared the Caesar salad, meatballs and cod fritters.  I had cod for the entrée and he had the branzino.  For dessert I ordered a chocolate torte, that I never touched and took it home.  His phyllo gelato ice cream was enormous and so delicious, so we shared that. Even the bread and butter were yummy.  I ate so much.

To drink we both had passionfruit caipirinhas.  Just 1 each even though it was delicious.  We knew we would have to drive home.

Afterwards we walked to our cars and hugged good bye.  I texted when I got home to thank him for dinner.  He replied, and also texted the next morning.

He is going away today for one week and wants to get together when he returns.  I need to think about it.   I didn’t feel any romantic vibes, mostly friendship.  I don’t want to lead him on, but perhaps a second date wouldn’t be a bad idea.  I will decide by the time he returns.

I feel blessed to meet some great gentlemen and go to some great restaurants, chemistry or not.  If I get a friend I feel it is a win!!

In the meantime Mr. Sweet has been in touch every now and then.  He injured his back but texted asking if I want to meet when he is feeling better.  I said yes.

“…while finding true love was one of the most splendid things that could happen to you in life, finding a friend was equally splendid.” ― Félix J. Palma, The Map of the Sky

 

 

A blessing often taken for granted

07 Monday Nov 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart” ― Helen Keller

On Friday I left work at 11am.  My sister met me outside of our building.  She got in the car and we proceeded to discuss the best way to get to White Plains, NY.

Should we avoid the highway and just use the local route?  It would take a bit longer but we wouldn’t have the usual highway delays of lately.  We chose local.

We were wrong. We encountered two road blocks due to construction.  I feel the entire New York state is under construction.  At one point my sister asked if we were near, as we ended up taking some back roads that she was not familiar with.  I could feel her relief when I said that we were only 5 minutes away.

Finally we arrived our location.  Now we proceed to the parking near it. I didn’t think there was any room on the first level so I took the curvy route all the way to the 6th floor.  Getting out of the parking lot and into the street was another long story, as we kept getting off on different streets and had to go back and find the right exit.

By now it was 12: 05.  She had to be there at 12:15pm.  I pointed to a building in the corner and said: there it is.  She panicked when she saw that it said: White Plains Library on the building.  She feared we were on the wrong place.  I assured her that the right building was just next door.  Again, relief on her face on she saw the 111 Number sign on the building, signaling the right place: 111 Martin Luther King Boulevard, the address of the Westchester County Court.

We entered it, went though the security desk, and were pointed to the right courtroom.  There was a big signed that said: NATURALIZATION.

“Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.” ― Maya Angelou, Celebrations: Rituals of Peace and Prayer

On this Friday, November 4th 2022, my sister officially became a United States citizen.  I have been a citizen for a long time, but still, during the whole event I was moved and had a lump in my throat.  It was emotional to be in a room with 48 newly naturalized citizens and their families, with so many different cultures, languages, backgrounds and stories of trials and triumph.

Upon entering the courtroom, the new citizens to be first lined up to see the desk clerks to answer some final questions and to surrender their green cards.  Then they sat and waited for the ceremony to start.  When it started Tim C. Idoni, the court clerk and a previous New Rochelle Mayor, administered the Oath of Citizenship to the new citizens.  Then the entire room got up for the Pledge of Allegiance. 

Then the presiding judge spoke. I can’t recall her name but it was her first time presiding over the Oath of Ceremony. In her Congratulatory speech, she welcomed the new citizens and also added some of her personal history to it.  She mentioned she was the granddaughter of Irish immigrants, and the first person from her family to go to college, law school, and now become a judge.

Then they called names, 3 at a time.  The new citizens would go to the front, shake hands with the Judge and the County Clerk and be handed the Certificate of Naturalization.  My sister came back to her seat beaming with pride.  She was now focused on trying to get a picture with the Judge and the clerk at the end.  She wanted to document the day in any and every way she could.

As soon as they declared the proceedings over, she jumped up and went to ask for a picture with the judge and clerk.  They graciously agreed.  I took a few pictures, then realized that a line started to form of people wanting to take pictures.  She had started a chain reaction.

At first she loved the pictures I took, but later she took a closer look.  Apparently, I always cut the feet off when I take full length pictures of people standing up.  When she started to complain about it, I didn’t say anything.  I am learning the virtues of silence in certain situations. Also, it was her day!

In the evening I treated her to dinner at Sergio’s in Pelham, NY.  They have the best short ribs with risotto ever! Actually, my boss paid for dinner as congratulations to her.

After the ceremony, she called and emailed everyone she could think of.  She wanted the world to share in her happiness and good fortune.

It took my sister 12 years to get a green card, and then another 5 years to get the citizenship.  She is over the moon!  She is proud, happy, and above all grateful for this amazing opportunity.  I am all of that as well, and more!

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive—to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love—then make that day count!” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

First date with the injury attorney

05 Saturday Nov 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Food

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“your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.”
― Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly

The date on Thursday evening was a lot fun. He likes to eat and wanted to try everything on the menu.  It was a feast!

Place: Maria’s Restaurant in New Rochelle

To drink: He doesn’t drink alcohol.  He drank diet cokes like it was going out of style. I had a delicious drink called Queen Margherita. It was made with Patron Silver, Passionfruit, Elderflower and lime. I had them use vodka instead of tequila. It was very tempting to have a couple, but I had only one.

To eat: He wanted to order everything, well except meat dishes. He is a vegetarian that recently turned vegan, but last night he made an exception and had cheese. We had 4 different appetizers. For entrée I chose the cod fish, which was delicious but I took most of it home as there was a lot food.  He had some beans and potatoes that they made special for him.  He also ordered some extra sides.

For dessert, even though he normally doesn’t eat sugar, he ordered 3 desserts for us to share (pictured above).  They were all delicious, even though none had chocolate in it!

“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.” ― Erma Bombeck

He is a 65yr old semi-retired attorney. He is very smart and very funny.  He talks a lot and so do I.  He asked a lot questions and seemed genuinely interested in hearing my answers.  He was very open talking about his life.

He has been divorced for decades, and has a good relationship with the ex-wife and his two married daughters.  He seems to be well adjusted, emotionally stable and a good person.

One funny moment.  Towards the end of the evening he fell down.  It is hard to explain, he was returning from the bathroom and when he went to sit down he misjudged the seat distance and fell.  He got up so fast, before I had the chance to try to help him.  I started laughing, I couldn’t help myself.  Luckily, he couldn’t either.  

It was such a fun date with tons of laughs, but I am not sure about chemistry.  I would probably go on a second date if he asks.  We shall see.

In the meantime, there are more dates on the horizon.  On Sunday I am going to a favorite restaurant in a gorgeous location for an early dinner date with a 60 year old businessman (not sure what he does exactly, will find out more on Sunday)

I hope everyone is having a blessed weekend!

“I hate people who are not serious about meals. It is so shallow of them.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

The Disappearance of Rosemary

03 Thursday Nov 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Food

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“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” — Robert Louis Stevenson

Last month when I went to see friends in Philadelphia I brought back with me 8 different types of herbs that they had in their garden.  They were: Basil, sage, oregano, rosemary, mint, tarragon, thyme and lemon mint.  

I didn’t plant them right way, I kept them in the fridge until I returned to the office.  That was probably mistake number 1.  I didn’t have enough soil or vases, so I ended up using some Tupperware containers and borrowed some soil from my other plants.  Probably mistake number 2.   Four of them I planted on the same vase with a ficus plant.  Probably mistake number 3.  I overwatered the solo ones, mistake number 4.

Here are the ones with the ficus when I was planting them: On the bottom left you can see the rosemary.

They were going to stay here until I got planter box.

I was never successful with growing herbs but I figured the glorious sun that comes in the morning in my office would be my ally.  The glorious sun was not enough to give them all life when I was so careless about planting them to begin with.

Fast forward to this Monday. By then only 2 seemed to look like it could actually grow: the rosemary and the basil. All others looked like they were dying a slow death.

“Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree.” — Martin Luther

The building sent a couple of guys to come in to apply a film to a newly installed glass window.  When I saw them coming in I ran to move the plants out of the way, as some are on the window sill.  I joked that I had to make sure they were okay.  

They did the work, and as they were leaving I was in the kitchen. I thanked them and offered them coffee or a soda.  One of them asked for water, and the other seemed in a hurry to leave.  He seemed annoyed that the other asked for water and he had to wait.  It felt weird. Something seemed off.  I just figured he was hungry and wanted to get to his lunch, since it was lunchtime. 

After they left I went to put my plants back on the window sill, and when I looked down at the ficus I noticed that the rosemary was missing.  There was also some soil around the vase.

What???

After they left, there was nothing where the rosemary used to be. And you can see the others are not doing that great either.

I asked my co-worker to come check it out to confirm I was not imagining things.  We  thought of different scenarios.  One of them was that perhaps they accidently hit it with the ladder and destroyed it.  But where are the remnants?  We looked in the garbage and saw a can of some spray they used, but nothing else.  

I immediately suspected the young guy that was in a hurry.  Perhaps he was cooking pork or fish tonight.  Rosemary is great on those.  Or perhaps he is trying out some exotic cocktail.  I just had a passionfruit and rosemary cocktail that was to die for.  Or perhaps he wanted to smudge his house and confused it with sage.  Or perhaps rosemary is the new weed. I pictured him sitting on his couch and smoking it that night.

All joking aside, whatever happened to it, I don’t know, and I guess I will never know.  I just know that I had a tiny rosemary plant when they got here, and I no longer had it when they left. 

My co-worker wanted me to get a hold of them and asked them about it.  I didn’t want to make a big deal, and appear like a lunatic.  Also, the did was done. No answer would change it.  And, sad to say, it was probably going to die anyway. As of today only the basil still stands.  

Next time I am getting the planter and soil first, and then getting the herbs.  Also, I probably should read about how to plant them, instead of thinking I can just throw them in a pot and hope for the best. And last, I will watch anyway coming near my plants like a hawk now.

***

Tonight I have a date with a semi retired attorney.  He sounds fun and easy to talk to.  He texted to confirm tonight’s date and said: bring you appetite.  I said: I haven’t eaten in 2 days.  He also gave me his full name and business website.  Turns out he has only 5 star reviews.

Stay tuned to see how many starts he gets from me.

“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you
don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not
doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or
less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have
problems with our friends or family, we blame the other
person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will
grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive
effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason
and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no
reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you
understand, and you show that you understand, you can
love, and the situation will change” — Thich Nhat Hanh

 

It is still Halloween here

01 Tuesday Nov 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Mosaic and other crafts

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“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existence. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery each day. 
—”Old Man’s Advice to Youth: ‘Never Lose a Holy Curiosity.'” LIFE Magazine (2 May 1955) p. 64”

Hi everyone, I hope you all had a safe and fun Halloween.  Growing up in Brazil there was no Halloween, so I never got into it. I never cared for dressing up in costumes, even at Carnaval, so last night was uneventful.  I have been mostly glued to the news about the elections in Brazil.

Trump, I mean, Bolsonaro lost, and because he has been following Trump’s playbook, he has yet to call Lula, the president elect, to congratulate him and concede defeat.

I fear the protests.  Not the peaceful protests, but the ones that aim to just cause chaos and disruption.  Any kind of fanatical behavior scares me. Most of the ones protesting have really no grasp on why they are doing what they are doing.   Blind allegiance is scary. 

Don’t get me wrong, similar to the US, there was a lack of good candidates.  But between the two, I am taking Lula.  I didn’t vote, but I would vote for taking care of the rain forest, for the better treatment of the indians, the poor, the minorities and the women.  My vote has been always for peace.

I pray. May there be peace! In Brazil, and in the world!

“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science.”
― Albert Einstein, The World As I See It

Here is another piece I finished.  I am having fun coming up with these weird stuff. It was not meant to be weird.  Actually,  I really had no idea what it would look like.  It has been fun being creative.

My sister adored this one.  She is my biggest fan, but she can also be a tough critic (she hates that pizza one).  She says it is all about the eyes, that it seems to be staring back and looking in.  It is hard to see that in the pictures. 

I continue to fall more and more in love with mosaics.

“As a rule, the more bizarre a thing is the less mysterious it proves to be. It is your commonplace, featureless crimes which are really puzzling, just as a commonplace face is the most difficult to identify.” ― Arthur Conan Doyle, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

Still Sweet, but not yet the One

27 Thursday Oct 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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“There sits the skiff – over there perhaps is the entryway to the great nothing. But who wants to board this “perhaps”?” ― Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

Mr. Sweet continues to be sweet and kind.  But he is not the One… at least not right now.  Right now he is a friend that I go to dinner with every now and then.

He had already told me he didn’t want to date seriously and wanted “to see what is out there”.  Well, I have seen what is out there and it is pretty grim.  Kidding, but not really.

Even though he said he would continue dating, I was under the impression that he was not.  I took his excitement about me as a sign that he would not be interested in looking for anyone else.  I assumed that the reason his Match profile had disappeared was because he was focused only on me.  I assumed that with all the attention/daily texting/calling, that I was the only one.  All my assumptions were not based on reality, but based on what my heart wanted and the stories that sometimes I tell myself.

“It’s dreadful what little things lead people to misunderstand each other.”― L.M. Montgomery, Emily’s Quest

I normally follow: “pay attention to a man’s action and not his words”, and this time that is what tripped me up.  I should have taken his word at face value.   He said he was going to date other people, why would I read in his behavior anything else?

I don’t like to have regrets, but I do regret passing on some people on Match that seemed great just because I thought this was going the distance.  And now they are gone.  Oh well, if they were for really me they wouldn’t be gone, would they?  So I digress, no regrets!

“As soon as we start putting our thoughts into words and sentences everything gets distorted, language is just no damn good—I use it because I have to, but I don’t put any trust in it. We never understand each other.” ― Marcel Duchamp

My heart got excited and forgot to do a reality check about the situation. For starters, his divorce is only just starting, and it looks like it is going to be a long war.  There is a prenuptial agreement involved, but mediation fell through, and she is now ignoring his attorney’s letters.

Then there is the fact that I agree he should stay single, go on dates, have fun. I do not believe someone coming out of a long-term relationship (in this case a 27-year marriage) should immediately embark on another.  

While I am not sure what I want, I did think we had a good thing going and didn’t want him dating around.  I wanted to see where we could go. The future seemed so bright for us, or so I dreamed!

“Life is too long to say anything definitely; always say perhaps.”― Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace

I don’t want to date someone seriously while the person is dating around.  So, for now we are not seriously dating, or dating seriously.  We are dating, meaning we go out to dinner, bars, ect. A kiss every now and then, but that is it.  And I am even rethinking the kissing.  Not because I am a prude, but because I want to protect my heart from getting too tangled up in something not serious.

While dating multiple people may be appealing to some, I now prefer to date intentionally, one person at a time.  I may go on many dates, but if I have more than 2 dates with someone then that is where I will focus my attention and energy.

I must understand that his wanting to see what is out there is not about me. It is about him.  That is the distinction I need to make.  I was taking it all personally.  This is not a rejection, but an opportunity.  Feeling rejected make us victims and take our power away.  This is an opportunity to explore my feelings, wants and needs.

“When things do not go your way, remember that every challenge — every adversity — contains within it the seeds of opportunity and growth.” ― Roy T. Bennett

I can’t complain about him.  This is not about him; this is about my feelings and my interpretation of this new relationship.  We agreed on honesty on day 1 and he has lived it up to that.  He continues to be honest, kind and thoughtful.  In this just over 1-month relationship we have met several times alone and 3 times with my sister and my friend.   He continues to bring my sister bagels every time we meet.

The last time we saw each other was Saturday when we went to dinner and walked around NY City with my sister and friend.  He brought his professional camera and took many pictures of us in Times Square.  Always smiling and happy to help, that is something that we share.

“Love can only be found through the act of loving.” ― Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

He wanted to try to meet this week:

I am busy with my friend. It is her last week here, so I want this week to be about her.  Also, if I am being completely transparent (and I aim to be) I hate the feeling that he is fitting me among a bunch of dates.

I am excited about his friendship though.  I know that no matter what happens we will remain friends, and I love that part.

He continues to be Mr. Sweet, but there could be Mr. Sweeter for me around the corner.  Or even the Sweetest of them of all.  Or perhaps what I really need is Mr. Semi-Sweet.   I guess I got hurry up and go see what is out there.  Yet Again.

“People say they find love, as if it were an object hidden under a rock. But love takes many forms, and it is never the same for any man and woman. What people find then is a certain love.” ― Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

Physically back, mentally still away

24 Monday Oct 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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“There is a kind of magicness about going far away and then coming back all changed.” ― Kate Douglas Wiggin, New Chronicles of Rebecca

Hi friends,  I will be visiting everyone’s blogs in the next few days and will be catching up on your posts. I do miss you all when I am not around here.  Actually, you are the only routine I missed 🙂

I have been off of work for the past week.  This time I didn’t check in at work at all.  I totally disconnected, I didn’t even check email.  I really needed this break.  I don’t care about work as much anymore (there will be a future post about it).

My friend from Brazil is still here.  She will be here until next Sunday.  It has been fun playing tourist, but also so exhausting.

Among all we did, we spent a day in Mystic, CT, just enjoying the beautiful scenery and stores.  We had some delicious pastries at Sift Bake Shop. 

We spent a day in Westerly, RI. There we spent some time with my friend that lives there and is running for town council.  We attended one of her events, and drove around the beautiful beaches.  Eating at the Verandah at Ocean House in Watch Hill is always a favorite for the amazing water views.

We also spent a couple of days at Foxwoods Casino and Mohegan Sun Casino.  While we didn’t make money, we didn’t really lose much, and it was really fun playing the slots.  While there we shopped at Tanger Outlets. We also had great meals there, specially the one at Ballo Italian Restaurant in Mohegan Sun.

We were sightseeing in New York City for a couple of days. We did a lot walking, which was good since we have been doing a lot eating. The best meal in NY was at Rice and Beans, a Brazilian Restaurant.

Mr. Sweet joined us for that dinner and the night before he took us to an Argentinian restaurant that his friend owns.  He continues to be very sweet, being kind to my friend and bringing bagels for my sister every time we meet.  I will be writing a post about him next.

There has been a lot shopping.  Even though I dislike going shopping, if I am forced to go I end up being the one that buys the most.  Besides the outlets in Foxwoods we also shopped at the outlet stores at Clinton Outlet in Clinton, CT. And not to mention, all the other stores, such as TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Macys, etc.

There was a huge amount of walking, which is always welcomed by me.  My sister and my friend are not used to so much walking, so we got an Uber a couple of times in NY.

This week will be non-stop again, specially since I have to get back to work. During the day, my sister and I will take turns taking my friend to work with us.  Some evenings we will go shopping as she still has some items left on her list, and will also go out to eat as we still have a couple of restaurant to get to.

Stay tuned for the post about Mr. Sweet.  For now, I just wanted to say hello.  Wishing everyone a blessed week! 🙂

“Distance changes utterly when you take the world on foot. A mile becomes a long way, two miles literally considerable, ten miles whopping, fifty miles at the very limits of conception. The world, you realize, is enormous in a way that only you and a small community of fellow hikers know. Planetary scale is your little secret.

Life takes on a neat simplicity, too. Time ceases to have any meaning. When it is dark, you go to bed, and when it is light again you get up, and everything in between is just in between. It’s quite wonderful, really.

You have no engagements, commitments, obligations, or duties; no special ambitions and only the smallest, least complicated of wants; you exist in a tranquil tedium, serenely beyond the reach of exasperation, “far removed from the seats of strife,” as the early explorer and botanist William Bartram put it. All that is required of you is a willingness to trudge.

There is no point in hurrying because you are not actually going anywhere. However far or long you plod, you are always in the same place: in the woods. It’s where you were yesterday, where you will be tomorrow. The woods is one boundless singularity. Every bend in the path presents a prospect indistinguishable from every other, every glimpse into the trees the same tangled mass. For all you know, your route could describe a very large, pointless circle. In a way, it would hardly matter.

At times, you become almost certain that you slabbed this hillside three days ago, crossed this stream yesterday, clambered over this fallen tree at least twice today already. But most of the time you don’t think. No point. Instead, you exist in a kind of mobile Zen mode, your brain like a balloon tethered with string, accompanying but not actually part of the body below. Walking for hours and miles becomes as automatic, as unremarkable, as breathing. At the end of the day you don’t think, “Hey, I did sixteen miles today,” any more than you think, “Hey, I took eight-thousand breaths today.” It’s just what you do.”
― Bill Bryson, A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America on the Appalachian Trail

Still here, still busy, still happy

15 Saturday Oct 2022

Posted by in Daily Life

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“Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing.” ― Thomas A. Edison

One of my and my sister’s best friend arrived from Brazil on October 8 to stay until the end of the month, so my busy life got even busier.  But also more fun.

Work continues to interfere with my peaceful and fun life.  The audit is still not finished.  Every few days I get some new request.  And then there are other work stuff.  New brokers being hired, new products being brokered, etc. In the end, it all works out, but until then I struggle.

I am growing so tired of my job. But I will talk about that in a next post.

“Don’t become complacent because ‘things could be worse’ but rather get busy because ‘things could be better’.” ― Bobby Darnell, Time For Dervin – Living Large In Geiggityville

Last Sunday my sister, my friend and I went to Philadelphia to visit a friend.  His birthday is coming up so as an early birthday present we took him and his wife to dinner.  First we stopped at their house and had some cold cuts, cheeses, and a couple of yummy homemade breads that they had ready for us.  His wife is a great baker.  We left with breads and scones as gifts. 

After leaving their home we went to downtown Philadelphia. We walked around sightseeing, saw the Liberty Bell, and then went to dinner at Amada Restaurant.  

Amada is a tapas restaurant.  I love tapas, I love sharing food.  They did tapas with a modern twist. Everything was delicious.  I am still dreaming about a cocktail called Rose Gold.  It is made with vodka, passion fruit and rosemary.

Our day trip to Philly was a success! We hope to go back to spend more time there.

“We mark with light in the memory the few interviews we have had with souls that made our souls wiser, that spoke what we thought, that told us what we knew, that gave us leave to be what we inly are.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Mr.  Sweet continues to be a part of my life.  On Monday he went to dinner with my sister, my friend and I.   We had dinner at Posto 22.  We had a great time, a lot laughs.  He continues to be thoughtful.  This time again he brought bagels for my sister.

Even though all is going well, we have been talking about the fact that we were going too fast.  4 dates in 8 days was a bit excessive.  He just travelled to Florida to see his father, and I am busy with my friend.  We agreed that this break is welcomed. 

Mr. Sweet is such a great person, so sweet and thoughtful.  I care about him, and because of that I don’t think he should be dating seriously now.  His divorce papers just got filed.  Chances are his divorce will drag on for a while.  I believe that everyone coming out of a long term relationship/marriage should be alone for awhile before embarking on a new relationship.  

We are still excited about each other, and texting daily.  Still, I have made my profile visible again on Match.  I had put my profile on hold because I was busy and also because I had met him.  His profile remains hidden.

We shall see what the future holds. We both care and don’t want to hurt each other.

“And the danger is that in this move toward new horizons and far directions, that I may lose what I have now, and not find anything except loneliness.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

Next week I will be taking some time off, and my sister, my friend and I will spend some days in Connecticut and some days in Rhode Island.  I so need this break from work.

 

 

Introducing Mr. Sweet

03 Monday Oct 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“We must pursue what’s in front of us, not what we can’t have or what we have lost. We must grasp what we can reach and hold on, fast.” ― Maggie O’Farrell, This Must Be the Place

We met 13 days ago.  We are both amazed how it feels more like 13 months or years.  I have been hesitating about him. It feels so strong and yet it feels so fragile… if that makes any sense.

Something about safeguarding it and not letting the sunlight, the outside in, and spoil all the possibilities. For the bakers out there, do you know when you have a beautiful risen cake in the oven and you open the oven door too early and the cold air makes the beautiful cake collapses?  That is what I am trying to prevent from happening it here. 

I guess I don’t want to jinx it.  But why am I being all superstitious about it?  It is what it is.  Will be what will be. 

Here we go:

Mr. Sweet will be 57 years old next month (making him only 5 months older than I am).  He looks very young for his age.  I think I look young too, so that is a match.  He is shorter than I would like, but I realize that I can’t have it all 😉 

At the moment he is doing something with insurance, I am not sure all the details. He mentioned that he is financially secure – that is important to me – I don’t want to support a man.  The divorce is not final, but it is in the works.  Will save more details for later.

First Date: September 21 at Modern Restaurant.  As I walked in, he left the bar and came to meet me at door.  This little detail meant the world to me.  So many times I have to walk to the bar and wonder who is my date.  I have walked up to the wrong person in the past.

He had a huge smile on his face.  We were seated immediately.  We shared a Caesar salad and a pizza.  I had a glass of prosecco. He had beer.  We only stopped talking and left the restaurant because we were the only table left and we felt we had to leave.

He walked me to my building.  I hugged him good bye.  There was no kiss, but I wouldn’t have minded if had kissed me.

“In the arts, as in life, everything is possible provided it is based on love.” ― Marc Chagall

Date Two: September 23 at Town House Restaurant. It is a new restaurant in New Rochelle that I was looking forward to trying.  This time he took the train from NYC.  I met him at the station and we walked to the restaurant.

We shared the duck and the burger and a green bean appetizer.  For dessert we shared the flan and a chocolate cremeaux.  I had a cosmo, as they didn’t have passion fruit, and all other cocktails on the menu were weird… there was even a mushroom cocktail. He had a guava infused mezcal drink.

Everything was delicious about this evening.  He walked me to my door and we kissed good bye.  The kiss had my favorite flavor: promise and possibilities.

“It’s the possibility that keeps me going, not the guarantee.” ― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Date three: September 28. Wooden Spoon Restaurant. I wish I could erase that hour on that restaurant from my mind.  As I was biting into the burger, I found the cheese oddly stringy.  Then on the second bite I realized: it was a hair.  I am still grossed out about that.  Needless to say I lost my appetite.  He offered to take me some other place, but I couldn’t bear the thought of eating anything else at that point.

We walked around the neighborhood, and then I invited him to my apartment.  I was getting hungry, but didn’t want to go anywhere. My sister had given me magic bars that afternoon so I was looking forward to that.

We had magic bars, listened to music and talked, talked, talked.  Believe it or not, this guy talks more than I do.  There is never any awkward silent with us.

First time in a long time that I have a guy over at my apartment.  I had no qualms about inviting him in.  I felt like I am inviting an old friend.

The highlight of the evening: He brought me chocolates from Jacques Torres.  He made a point of bringing me some with coconut and some with coffee as those are my favorites. 

and the sweetest kisses with the softest lips…

“Choose Love, Love! Without the sweet life of
Love, living is a burden—as you have seen.”
― Elif Shafak, The Forty Rules of Love

Date Four: September 30 at Alvin and Friends.  It is a always reliable restaurant.  We shared the empanadas as appetizer and for the entrée we had the ribs, fried chicken, macaroni and cheese, collard greens, cole slaw.  For dessert we shared the coconut cheesecake. I had a prosecco cocktail and he had a minty mule.

We left the restaurant and stopped by my sister’s apartment to give her some left overs.  He met my sister briefly.  She called me after to ask his age.  He does look young. 

Again he came into my apartment, stayed awhile, then called an Uber and went home.  I love that there is no pressure for anything.

He brought me 2 kinds of bread, and a chocolate caramel tart. He knows I love breads and chocolate.  Perhaps I should have told him I love jewelry. lol

“The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space.” ― Marilyn Monroe

Date Five: I guess after 5 I will stop counting them.  Monday, October 3rd, tonight.   I said I was going to cook, but I immediately regretted it as it is a busy day at work, and I would feel stressed about it.  I told him, and he said it was okay.  So instead of a dinner date, it will be an after dinner date.

Gosh, now I am panicking because I should have drinks and dessert in the house.  Oh well. 

We both have a lot going on this month and we won’t be able to see each other for awhile.  That is why we are sneaking this date tonight.  

Please don’t worry, I am not blinded by all the sweetness and thoughtfulness, but I am totally bathing myself in it.  

I can’t wait to see what happens next… as if this is a movie that I am watching, and I am not the main character.  The possibilities are infinite, and I am so ready for all of them.

got run, work to finish, run home, shower and beautify myself 🙂

“I can’t think of anything I’d rather have more than somebody lovin’ me.” ― Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees

Dates Update: September 2022

02 Sunday Oct 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Abandon the urge to simplify everything, to look for formulas and easy answers, and to begin to think multidimensionally, to glory in the mystery and paradoxes of life, not to be dismayed by the multitude of causes and consequences that are inherent in each experience — to appreciate the fact that life is complex.” ― M. Scott Peck

Here is a quick update on the last few dates:

The 60-year old Stock Broker. We became texting friends.  He is a great guy, but there was really no chemistry for me.  His life has been very complicated lately, so we haven’t been able to meet again, as friends.  I hope that the complications in his life get sorted out.

The 65-year old Doctor.  The coffee date went well. The conversation was great, but I didn’t think there was enough there for a second date.  I was surprised when he texted a few days later, and asked me out on a second date for Wednesday night. 

I said yes, thinking there was no harm in meeting for a second time.  I immediately realized that I had said yes to someone else also, but decided not to cancel right away.

It turns out I didn’t need to.  The next day he texted and said: “I just got out of a relationship and I’m not ready.  I need to hold off on Wednesday for now.”  I said: “no problem, best wishes”

Later he texted back that he was going to call me on Wednesday.  I replied that I didn’t see the point of that.  He came back with: “It is not that I am not interested.  I just need to take some time for myself.”

I just decided not to reply anymore.  He is just cheap and doesn’t want to spend money on dinner, that is my take.  While I am not a materialistic person, I am allergic to cheapness.

Yesterday he texted: “What are you doing Saturday”

If I were going to answer it would be: “Not going out with you.”

I didn’t reply.  I don’t want to spend any  on him anymore.

The dog guy.  He is a great guy, but only friend material.  There was not any hint of anything romantic about our two dates.  I think he realized it also.  After some texting back and forth, it fizzled. I will miss Mr. W. the dog.

Then there was Mr. Very Smart. We went on one date. We had dinner at Sergio’s in Pelham, NY.  Everything was delicious, including the conversation.  He is so wise and resourceful that he was able to find this blog with very little information.  So, if you are reading this: Hello 🙂

I met him between dates 1 and 2 with the guy I will be mentioning next.  Had I not gone on additional dates with Mr. Sweetness, I would probably have gone on additional dates with Mr. Very Smart.

That brings me to Mr. Sweet.  We had 4 dates so far.  Since this post is getting too long, I will be writing about him on the next.

I will just mention that all feel magical!

“When nothing is expected, and everything is appreciated, all becomes magical.” ― Broms The Poet, Feast