Author Archives: A Star on the Forehead

Post about this and that

09 Friday Dec 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Food

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I want to post more, I do.  I start writing a post, then I get busy or distracted; by the time I get back to it, it feels like old news and I start a new one.  I need to break this pattern.  I am going to try.  Until then, these are some of the topics/posts unfinished.

“How can a nation be called great if its bread tastes like kleenex?” ― Julia Child

Friends and baked goods.  This past weekend we met friends in Edison, NJ.  That is the half way point between my home in NY and theirs in PA.  The wife is a baker that likes to try new recipes.  She is so gracious and will gives us breads and other goodies on our birthday and for Christmas.  This time she gave my sister a box full of savory goods, and me one with sweets.  As that is our preference.

She makes a bunch of different items throughout the months and always saves us a sample.  My only complaint, if I can’t be that ungrateful, is that I was eager to have the scones, but she decided to flavor them this time with ginger. It was too strong for me.  But there were plenty of other goodies for me to try, such as the mini chocolate chip muffins below.

I feel beyond grateful to have kind, thoughtful friends, that like to bake!!!

mini chocolate chip muffins for breakfast just because

“We are made for loving. If we don’t love, we will be like plants without water.” ― Desmond Tutu

The Christmas cactuses are blooming.  The plants in my office continue to thrive. The picture below is from the beginning of the week.  Today they look even better and by next week all the buds will probably be in bloom.  I will take another picture them.

Christmas cactus starting to bloom

My Brazil jersey is a guy magnet.  Well, if the guy is a soccer loving one.  Since the World Cup is in the winter, I cannot show off my Brazilian jersey outdoors.  The 3 guys that saw me in the hall at work immediately smiled and approached me to talk about the World Cup.

Two of the guys I had crossed paths with before and there was never a hello.  All of a sudden they are my best friends.  That is the beauty of the World Cup.  It unites people in fun.

World Cup is on – Go Brazil!!

“The first World Cup I remember was in the 1950 when I was 9 or 10 years old. My father was a soccer player, and there was a big party, and when Brazil lost to Uruguay, I saw my father crying.” -Pele

Ultimatums are useless with me. I received an ultimatum from a person listed in my phone as “Waste of time”. He said it in the voice mail: “This is the last time I am calling you and leaving you a voice mail”.  I thought to myself: thank you!!

This is a person that I had one date with several years ago.  A couple of times a year he will call, waste my time on the phone complaining of how busy with work he is.  Then he will say that we need to get together and he will reach out when he has more time to meet.

Every time he called or texted I was polite and answered, but by now I had enough and blocked him.  So I don’t even see when it rings, I only get the voice mail. And now it seems I am free from that also.

I wish him well, but I am happy to never hear from him again.

“Relationships are negotiated and if you deal with ultimatums and authority all the time, then you’re not going to get anywhere.” – Phil McGraw

REPOST: AN ALPHABET OF GRATITUDE!!

05 Monday Dec 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Finding Me

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This post is now over 10 years old.  I have gotten some comments on it lately and decided to repost it.  I am still grateful for everything listed and need to add so many more things to it.  For now I am just reposting it as is.  I will create a new gratitude list and post it in the near future.

Continue to find things to be grateful for in your life! Be grateful for the little or much you have and much more will come.

I know I left out a lot things I am grateful for.  I am sure I will remember a few more every time I look at this post. (like life, breath, water, freedom of choice, etc 🙂

A-ANDREA and ANIMALS – I am grateful for my identical twin sister. I am grateful for having a partner in crime right in the womb! She rocks!  The world is a better place because ANIMALS are in it!

B-BREAD and BED – So grateful for not having to worry about having food to eat and a bed to sleep. I am blessed! I feel so safe in my bed and I really enjoy my food!


C- CAR, CHOCOLATE and CLOUDS – I am grateful for having transport.  After 1 year without chocolate I am grateful for the flavor of chocolate.  Every time I look up and see clouds they make me realize the wonder of it all! and sometimes I see a bunny!

D-DANCING and DOORS – I am grateful for the love of dancing. I am grateful for the opening of new doors and opportunities every day.

E-EX and EXPERIENCES – I am grateful for my EX and all other exes before, Ex-boyfriend, Ex-boss, ex-friend, etc, all of them provides EXPERIENCES that enabled me to grow and be where I am today.


F-FAMILY, FRIEND and FORGIVENESS – So grateful for having my family and friends, a support group that I can always count on. FORGIVENESS is at the heart of any progress and moving forward in my life. Forgiveness is what makes relationships work.


G-GOD and GRATITUDE and GOALS – I am grateful for believing in a GOD that loves me and wants only the best for me! I am grateful for a grateful heart!

H-HARMONY and HEROS –  I am grateful for a harmonious life. I am great for daily heros, for people that I encounter and have encountered in my life that have provided with inspiration.

I-INSPIRATION and INTUITION – I am grateful for moments of intuition and inspiration – those challenge me and make progress in the right direction.

J-JOB and JOY – I am grateful for a job that allows me not to worry about food and shelter.  I am grateful for all the joys in my life, big and small.

K- KISS – I am grateful for the joys and beauty of a kiss. There is nothing better in life!

L- LOVE – I am grateful for believing in love and having love in my heart!

M-MUSIC and MISSION –  I am grateful for being able to have amazing beautiful soundtrack for my life! I am grateful for believing I have a mission in life and for not giving up in its search.


N- NEVER – I am grateful for not believing in the word NEVER and always believeing that there is a chance!

O- OPTIMISM– I am grateful for my eternal optimism.

P – PEACE AND PAIN – I believe and strive for peace. I believe PAIN is the catalyst for major progress in life.

Q-QUOTES and QUESTIONS – I love quotes, my Facebook will attest to that! QUESTIONS keeps my mind open and challenge me to not accept things as is.


R- RAIN – I am grateful for everything about rain. The benefits, the sound, the appearance.

S-SOLITUDE and SKIING – I am grateful for enjoying moments of SOLITUDE. I am happy and grateful for having skiing as one of the new challenges in my life.

T- TOLERANCE and TENNIS –  I am grateful for having a tolerant heart and grateful for everything about the game of TENNIS – playing and watching and the fun outfits.


U- UNIVERSE and UNICORN –  I am so grateful for believing that the UNIVERSE is always on my side. I am grateful for believing in unicorns.

V – VACATIONS – I am grateful for having vacations – a change to renew and recharge.

W – WOMAN and WONDER and WRITING – I am grateful for being a woman, full of wonder. I am full of hormones and feelings and WONDER about the world.


X – XMAS and XYLOTOL– hey X is a hard word! Even though I am a little ambivalent about Xmas, who doesn’t enjoy the blinking lights. Sugar free gum is king.

Y- YOUTH, YOUTH OF HEART AND MIND – I am grateful for youth – for what the next generation will bring. I am grateful for my youthful self, for feeling like I am 25 years old most of the time.

Z-ZUMBA – I am grateful for burning calories while doing something I love.

A kiss full of color and whimsy

03 Saturday Dec 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Mosaic and other crafts

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“You should be kissed and by someone who knows how.” ― Margaret Mitchell

My love affair with mosaics continues.  For this next piece I used a painting that I saw online as inspiration. Watercolor paint and glass tiles are very different materials to work with, so I knew the result would be very different.

I am happy with this first attempt. I will try it again with different materials and colors.  At times I still struggle with having the patience not to rush with a project, and the result usually reflects that.

Wishing you all a blessed weekend!  And if you have the chance, kiss!

“When my date takes me home and kisses me good night, if I don’t hear the philharmonic in my head, I dump him.” — The Mirror Has Two Faces

“I didn’t want to kiss you goodbye — that was the trouble — I wanted to kiss you good night — and there’s a lot of difference.” ― Ernest Hemingway 

“I kissed him hard. The few people in the bar must have been thinking that all they were seeing was just a kiss. They didn’t know that this kiss stood for my whole life – and his life, as well. The life of anyone who has waited, dreamed, and searched for their true path.

The moment of that kiss contained every happy moment I had ever lived.” ― Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

I have World Cup Fever

01 Thursday Dec 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message

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World Cup games are on!

“Football is the ballet of the masses.” –― Dmitri Shostakovich

I love the World Cup.  I am from Brazil, so that maybe a given.  I don’t love the World Cup in December and in Qatar, but that is what we have, so I am going to enjoy it.

Lucky for me all the brokers work from home, so at the office I can watch whatever I want.  In the office is just my assistant/co-worker and I.  The boss/partner stops by once every month or two.

I get to watch all the games from my desk.  It is not the same as watching from home, but it is not too bad.  I go home to watch all of Brazil’s games. Brazil is doing well so far.  It has already advanced to the round of 16, so tomorrow’s game is mostly practice for the players on the reserve.

Of course I hope Brazil wins it it all.  But the competition is fierce, and we don’t always play our best game. May the most deserving team win!  I do love when an underdog wins.

I love the energy and fun of the World Cup.  I love to see all the fans dressed in their team color.  The next World Cup will be in 2026 and will be shared by the US, Canada and Mexico.  I am already planning on attending a game or two 🙂

“Soccer isn’t the same as Bach or Buddhism. But it is often more deeply felt than religion, and just as much a part of the community’s fabric, a repository of traditions.” ― Franklin Foer

Everything is better with plants!

28 Monday Nov 2022

Posted by in Daily Life

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I am having issues with my blog. All of a sudden I cannot do my post the old classic way, I have to use Block. I predict some struggles ahead. So please bear with me while I learn and adjust.

These are the beautiful plants in my office. The morning sun here is glorious and the plants love it!

“Love and work are to people what water and sunshine are to plants.”
― Jonathan Haidt, The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom


“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”
― Robert Louis Stevenson

“When you see a tiny plant, flower or tree in a dark stone street, be happy as if you saw a friend you love very much, and be even happier because this is such a friend that does wonderful things for your existence, it gives you oxygen!”
― Mehmet Murat ildan

Thanksgiving, today and always

24 Thursday Nov 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message

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“Take full account of what Excellencies you possess, and in gratitude remember how you would hanker after them, if you had them not.”
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Thank you my reader and friend for your likes and comments. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and experience. Thank you for your time and energy!

Wishing you a wonderfully blessed thanksgiving.   May you have health and peace.  May your table be full and your home warm! May you continue to find more and more reasons to give thanks!

“I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual. It is surprising how contented one can be with nothing definite – only a sense of existence. Well, anything for variety. I am ready to try this for the next ten thousand years, and exhaust it. How sweet to think of! my extremities well charred, and my intellectual part too, so that there is no danger of worm or rot for a long while. My breath is sweet to me. O how I laugh when I think of my vague indefinite riches. No run on my bank can drain it, for my wealth is not possession but enjoyment.” ― Henry David Thoreau

 

Happily dismissed

23 Wednesday Nov 2022

Posted by in Daily Life

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As I was deciding what to say if the attorney asked me on a 4th date, he kindly resolved things for me with this text:

I cannot pretend to feel something I don’t.  If a date is paying attention they will know exactly how I feel without my having to say a single word.  My body, my face, my actions and inactions betray my feelings from the get go.  I am very transparent.

Although I imagined he had realized that there was zero chemistry, I still thought perhaps he would ask me out again.  Some people are oblivious.  I am grateful he wrote, so I didn’t have to feel I was letting him down.  

It was fun being out with an old-fashioned gentleman.  I hope he finds a nice lady.  I am just a bit surprised that he texted and didn’t call.  I guess he is not that old-fashioned after all.

“Rushing into action, you fail.
Trying to grasp things, you lose them.
Forcing a project to completion,
you ruin what was almost ripe.

Therefore the Master takes action
by letting things take their course.
He remains as calm at the end
as at the beginning.
He has nothing,
thus has nothing to lose.
What he desires is non-desire;
what he learns is to unlearn.
He simply reminds people
of who they have always been.
He cares about nothing but the Tao.
Thus he can care for all things.”

― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Friday night in NYC: a date of dinner and a show

20 Sunday Nov 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me, Reviews

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On Friday night I met the 65 year attorney at the Elgin Restaurant for the third date.  I got there first and chose a table in the back, where was quiet and less drafty… as I thought to myself: omg, I must really be getting old, trying to be away from noise and cold air!

I had a drink called Lafayette 45. It was made with Empress Gin, Lemon Juice, Simple Syrup & Prosecco.  He doesn’t normally drink, he had a diet coke.  For appetizers we had fried cauliflower and also a Mediterranean platter with a trio of dips.  For entrée I chose sirloin sliders.  He had a salad with tons of stuff in it.  We chose not to have dessert.  I have been having too much sugar lately.

After dinner we headed to the Walter Karr Theatre to see Hadestown.  I knew we were going to the theater but I didn’t know which show.  I was happy it was a show I hadn’t seen it before. The theater was a small space, there was really no bad seat.  Our seats were in the middle orchestra, about 10 rows from the front.  It was close enough for me. 

Hadestown is a musical loosely based on Greek Mythology story of the love affair between Orpheus and Eurydice.  Overall, I enjoyed the show specially because I went in with no expectations.  Since I didn’t know what we would be seeing I didn’t do any research or read anything about the show.  

I really enjoyed it, but I found that the set/scenery could have been better. I have come to expect to be wowed any time I go to see anything on Broadway, specially musicals.  Here, there was not much of it. I kept waiting for the set to change it, but it really never did.  There was one setting change, but it was not really different from the original. I felt it could have been more creative.

I also had a problem with some songs.  While I loved most of them, I felt that some of them were there to just fill space.   At those times my mind would drift off, waiting for something to grab my attention again. At those times I wished the show was shorter.

While I really enjoyed the show I do wish the setting was more creative and some songs were removed.  But looking back, I feel like that about a lot shows.  I guess some song fillers are necessary.  However the singers and dancers were all amazing.  Some of the best voices I have heard.  For that alone I would go back.

As far as my date, he continues to be such a gentleman, so thoughtful and kind. He would not let me take the train or an Uber after the show.  He drove me 40 minutes out of his way to take me home.  Again, when he dropped me off, I reached over, hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek when I said good bye.

The chemistry is still not there, and I doubt it will ever be there. I don’t think we will be going on any more dates.  Unless he is okay with friendship only.

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” ― Confucious

18 Friday Nov 2022

Posted by in Daily Life

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Up to now I have worked mostly on flat surfaces.  I wanted to try something that had curves. I chose a beautiful golden vase that was almost too pretty to cover.  So I chose not to cover it completely. 

But now I am not sure if I should leave it this way or go back and cover the whole thing.  While I decide, I started a new project that I am excited about.  Well, I get excited about all my pieces. 

Wishing you all a blessed weekend!  May it be restful.  May it be fun!

 

“There is no exquisite beauty… without some strangeness in the proportion.”
― Edgar Allan Poe

“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” ― Rabindranath Tagore, Stray Birds

“You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.”
― Mary Oliver

Somewhere between the second and third date

16 Wednesday Nov 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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Crabtree's Kittle House

Crabtree’s Kittle House

“This is trouble with you. You think you want, you don’t think you want–always back and forth. Me, when I want, it is with whole heart. I look at wanted thing with eyes straight on. But you! Neither here nor there. Your looking always crooked, from side of eye. It has no power to hold. So wanted thing, it slip away from you.” ― Ruth Ozeki, My Year of Meats

I sit here in the space between dates 2 and 3 with the 65 year old attorney.  But before I get to that place, let me tell you about the second date.

He called me and asked me out.  There is not much texting with him.  He is old fashioned that way.  I said yes to the date and to him picking me up.  He didn’t say where we were going.  He just said it would be a nice restaurant. I like surprises so I didn’t mind not knowing.

At 5: 30 on Sunday he picked me up.  He had a gift for me.  When I opened the small pack, it was a bar of soap (see the pic at the end).  He saw that I was confused and reminded me that I had joked about taking a shower for the date, or something like that.  I don’t recall exactly what I said, but I guess it was funny and memorable to him.  Bonus points for originality.  I have gotten flowers, books, chocolate, and even bread as date gifts, but never soap.

The drive there took us to the area where I lived with the Ex.  Being in that area brought back some memories.  I am happy to report, that I was totally indifferent to the memories.  The memories came, I acknowledged them, and even mentioned it to my date.  Then as fast as they came, they went.  It was just the past, something I lived and it was over.  I didn’t feel sad or nostalgic.

“Man himself is so buffeted by shifts of thought and mood, not knowing from one day to the next what he truly feels, that a shifting earth is well-nigh the last straw.” ― Beryl Bainbridge, Master Georgie

After 40 minutes we arrived at Crabtree’s Kittle House Restaurant and Inn in Chappaqua NY.  It is a gorgeous place, that was a bit hard to find in the dark as it is nestled in a residential area and a golf course.

To drink I had a sugar cane and blueberry cocktail.  He had diet coke. He didn’t overdo this time with appetizers and desserts.  For appetizer we had 2 dishes. One with mushrooms, grilled plums, red cabbage and butternut puree.  The other was a Tofu taco bowl, it had black rice, tofu, pickled onions and some other greens.  For the entrée I had the hanger steak with fries and a side of arugula with feta cheese.  He had a vegetarian Sheppard’s pie.  For dessert I had a chocolate and peanut butter crunch bar with coconut gelato.  Everything was delicious.

The drive back was equally fun, with no lull in the conversation.  We talked about family, vacations, etc. There is always a lot laughs. When he dropped me off at my building, I just reached over and hugged him goodbye with a kiss on the cheek.

I didn’t feel any romantic sparks, but he is so much fun to be with.  A combination of smart conversation and plenty of humor.  I spent Monday thinking about what to do if he asks me out again.

“I don’t do anything with my life except romanticise and decay with indecision” ― Allen Ginsberg

In the evening the phone rang.  It was him.  He asked if I would like to meet him on Friday in NYC for dinner and a Broadway show.  I immediately said yes.  How can I say no to a Broadway show with great company?

I like to think that he is enjoying spending time with me even if there is not romance in the future.  Could there be something else eventually?  Should I continue to go on dates with someone even if there are no sparks?

I normally say that chemistry is either there or not there.  There is no creating it out of nothing.  But a conversation I had earlier that day is making me rethink it.  Perhaps there is some merit to going on more dates even if there are no sparks at the beginning.

“By dawn he had surrendered, gratefully, to the old inertia, the product of always seeing both sides of every question.” ― Robert Harris, Enigma

Earlier in the day I had exchanged messages with a potential date.  He complained that women seem to make up their minds too fast without giving the relationship a chance to develop.  He argued that there should be more than a few dates to see if there is chemistry or not. There should be more time invested in getting to know each other before moving on.

I explained my opinion about it.  To me, if I know there will be nothing else other than friendship, it feels somewhat dishonest to continue going on dates.  I feel I am wasting the other person’s time and energy.  If I know that I only want friendship shouldn’t I just say that and move on? But what if I am wrong?  What if feelings can develop?

The potential date stood firm on his opinion that one should get to know each other over several dates before making a decision. I guess he feels women haven’t given him enough of a chance in the past. He is supposed to reach out to schedule a date for some time this week.

For now I figure that 3 dates and an honest conversation will be enough to see if there should be more dates or not.

“If you don’t know which way to go in the middle of a bridge, you better enjoy the bridge! Sometimes the solution comes only when you give up the future and enjoy the present!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan