• About me

Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

~ As I navigate through this life …

Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

Tag Archives: fear

Lessons a mountain taught me!

15 Saturday Feb 2014

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 25 Comments

Tags

confidence, fear, life lessons, opportunities, self esteem, skiing, taking chances, Whistler

Happy Valentine’s Day!

For some reason this Valentine’s Day is not bothering me as others have.  Being single and alone is very comfortable and welcoming right now.  I am enjoying and rejoicing in it.  I am sufficient, I am enough – amazing discovery!

With that being said I continue to put myself out there and go on dates.  I had a weird experience tonight that I will describe in a next blog.

Also, of course Ex had to send me a text wishing me Happy Valentine’s Day.  I will discuss my feelings about it also in that next blog.

Remember to say I love you to the important people in your life, not only with words but with actions.

***

Which route to take?

Lessons on a mountain! Choosing the right route for me!

“You always need to work hard. You always need to be willing to work hard. Not everything will be hard, but you should, at the very least, be willing to work hard.” ― Tom Giaquinto, Be A Good Human

I embarked on my skiing trip to Whistler so confident that I almost had to buy two seats in the plane to fit me and my ego.  I thought I would get there and just magically be skiing blue trails.

On the first day I decided to go on a blue trail and realized I was biting more than I could chew, so I decided to get back to greens until my lessons the following days.

On the second and third days I had lessons with an instructor I didn’t care for. I thought he was a bit lazy and since I was the best one in the group I didn’t feel challenged. I thought the group was dragging me down.  I had a bad internal attitude even though externally I was being agreeable and happy.

On the 4th day I had an instructor that was great.  He challenged us and paid attention to what each one of us was doing.  I was having so much fun. Then all of a sudden things changed.  I cannot pinpoint the exact moment things changed.  But all of a sudden there were voices of doubt in my head.  They kept getting louder and louder.  My legs stopped listening to me.  I was suddenly the slowest, and the most scared of the group.  I went from full confidence skiing greens and even blues in the morning to complete self-doubt in the afternoon.

In the afternoon I fell twice.  I don’t have a problem with falling, I welcome it as a sign that I am taking chances. Except that was not the case this time.  I didn’t lose my confidence because I fell, I fell because I lost my confidence.  I became scared and started playing safe and not trusting my abilities.

The more I look back the more confused I get with what happened to me. I don’t have a reason for it other then to say that there were lessons I needed to learn.

“Don’t be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.” ― Rumi,

On the last day, fear had consumed me so much that I was now completely scared of greens.  But I forced myself to continue trying even though I was now on the easiest green they have, where beginners start.

The whole time I am battling my mind I am thinking of ways to stop it. I am asking for help from God, from the Light, I am trying to talk myself out of this paralysis I find myself in.  I am trying not to think of how dangerous the sport can be, because right now my mind has me thinking of even death.  Then came the inevitable thought of quitting. Why do I need to continue to subject myself to this? What do I have to prove? And to whom?

I am no quitter! I have nothing to prove, but I never quit anything just because it was difficult. If anything difficulties make me want it even more.  This is merely a roadblock, a distraction from my main goal. I know better than to quit over a minor setback.

“The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times and to get up eight times.”
―
 Paulo Coelho, Alchemist

There are many lessons here and I wish I knew what they all were, but for now this is what I am taking from it:

– Focus on myself. Instead of focusing on what I didn’t like about the first instructor and in the progress of the other students I should have focused on my progress.  Focusing on the instructors made me negative and slowly corrupted my mind.

– Don’t judge and compare others. I kept comparing the first instructor with an awesome instructor I had in Colorado. Instead I should have been trying to learn and asking questions. He is an instructor for a reason, perhaps I should have given him more of a chance.

-Don’t compare yourself to others and think you are better or worse than they are. I was too busy comparing myself to the others in the group instead of watching my progress or lack of it.  In the first group I considered myself the best, in the second I became the worst, but none of that should have mattered. It is not a competition!

-Don’t pretend to be happy and go with the flow if you have an option.  I didn’t have to have same instructor on 2 straight days.  I could and should have asked for another one. Trying to be agreeable is not always a good thing.

– Fear doesn’t have to be my enemy!  Having a bit of fear and respect of nature and also an understanding of my abilities is a good thing if it means that it keeps me safe and from putting myself in unnecessary dangerous situations.

“Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralysed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birds’ wings.” ― Rumi

– Don’t be overconfident.  Don’t be so full of yourself that you will misjudge your own abilities.  Don’t expect progress when you don’t even know how your body will behave on a certain day and under certain conditions. Take things as they come, welcoming progress and learning from setbacks.

– Manage your expectations well.  Be careful with expectations. Remember about always doing your best, but know that that your best changes.  The conditions made all the runs difficult so I should have expected my performance to suffer and should have managed my expectations accordingly.

– Think of why you are doing something to begin with. I am skiing because is both challenging and fun. I should welcome challenging days as a huge opportunity for growth. I love it ski, I look forward to it.  I don’t care how cold, how uncomfortable, how tired I am, I wish I was on a mountain right now.

– Life needs balance and it is all about balance.  Self esteem needs balance.  I am not the best or worst, I am my best/worst as I decide to be. I should strive for balance.  Thinking highly of myself is mostly a good thing, but not when it blinds me to everything else, or when I consider myself superior to others.

“Make a pact with yourself today to not be defined by your past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you become for it. Shake things up today! Be You…Be Free…Share.” 
― Steve Maraboli

I am determined not to let that fear interfere with my future.  I didn’t recognize that person on the mountain! Finding out I have an insecure, unsure, fearful side was not pleasant, but I am sure it was for the best.  I think this minor setback will make me stronger in the long run.  Things that are easy acquired have no value; they are easily taken for granted.  Being a good, comfortable skier is my aim and it will taste that much sweeter when I attain it.  And I know I will, it is just a matter of when.  I am not giving up.  If anything, I am more enthusiastic about getting better.  Each mountain is a lesson.

“My point is, life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The pina and the colada.” ― Ellen DeGeneres

At the end of the day I am glad for having experienced different feelings in my head and different conditions on the mountain. For some reason, my head took over and my heart went silent, while that is never the case in my life. Note to self: strive for balance of heart and mind.

And here is something that I know for sure: I am a flawed human, and yet I am wonderfully perfect!

Share this:

  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Reddit
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest
  • Pocket
  • Telegram
  • WhatsApp
  • Skype

Like this:

Like Loading...

Moment lost…chance for reflection.

23 Wednesday Oct 2013

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

compassion, fear, first instinct, lending a hand, live in the moment

“The value of a moment is immeasurable. The power of just ONE moment can propel you to success and happiness or chain you to failure and misery.” 
― Steve Maraboli
,

Life is made of moments,  tiny little moments that make up the mosaic of our lives.  Split second decisions can make or break one’s future, life, day.    The incredible power that just 1 instant, 1 second, holds is not lost on me and yet I rush through life as if I am in a mad dash somewhere.  I am getting nowhere fast! ….and tired.

I have been trying to slow down, to stop and smell the flowers, to pay attention to details. It is hard for me to pause and take a breath.  It feels like my life is lived in a constant fast-forward mode.  Am afraid of stopping and give the impression that I am stuck in life?  After-all I live in New York, where is a sin to be stationary.

BE HERE NOW!  That has been my mantra forever, but one would never guess it, since I am everywhere, in the past and in the future, except here, except now.

What am I missing by going so fast? A lot, perhaps all!

Last evening as I left work and I am walking, or should I say, sprinting, towards Grand Central Station a man, coming out of nowhere, stopped me.  Well, wrong on both counts, he probably didn’t come out of nowhere, I was just probably not paying attention to my surroundings, and he was not successful in stopping me because I never stopped.

All I heard was someone asking for money and my immediate response: I don’t have any change, and continued walking.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” ― Plato

I immediately regretted not stopping and not giving money.  I felt sad that my first instinct and response was so negative and defensive.  I stopped and turned around and by then the man had already walked away and I was left standing there alone with my guilt.  He was not stopping everyone, in fact he didn’t stop anyone, but me.  He probably thought that I would help.  He was probably embarrassed.   Right now I can think of 300 different reasons why he asked me and why he needed to ask for help in the first place.

Why did I behave like that? Why was that my first instinct? I didn’t feel threatened! It is like the words rolled out of my mouth without my permission.  Why couldn’t I stop?

What if in that one second I could have been the ray of light in somebody’s life?  What if he just needed a dollar to catch a train because he had lost his wallet or something like that?  He didn’t seem homeless, if fact he seemed well-dressed.  Why did my brain, in a fraction of second, decided for my heart that it was not worth stopping? Why did I betray myself?

“Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

I hate myself for not stopping and talking to him and giving him the money.  It is not really the money but the fact that I didn’t stop to give a second of my attention to a fellow human being.  I don’t like that!  I am not like that! And yet I let that one second run away from me and I can never get it back.  I can never make that moment right.  I am ashamed! Who am I becoming?

I wish that person knows that not all humans are devoid of care, not everyone is suspicious or just plain too busy.  I wish he knows that I prayed for him and his well being, that I care.  I prayed that the next person he spoke to did what I was unable to do: stop and listen.

I wish I could go back and change that one instant and take back those words, but I can’t.  All I can do is hope that next time my first reaction is different. I pray for less impulse and more thought, less reaction and more action.

Acknowledge the problem is the first step. Hi, I am Ana and I am

I don’t know who said it, but it is so true and worth thinking about it:

“Four things you can’t recover: 
The stone after the throw,
 
The word after it’s said,
 
The occasion after it’s missed,
The time after it’s gone.”

Share this:

  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Reddit
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest
  • Pocket
  • Telegram
  • WhatsApp
  • Skype

Like this:

Like Loading...

In search of sweet decadence!!

05 Friday Oct 2012

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Food

≈ 36 Comments

Tags

addictions, Chocolate, fear, indulgence, love

As some of you may know because of this post  http://blessedwithastarontheforehead.com/2012/05/19/bye-bye-chocolate-see-you-soon/—— I gave up chocolate for 1 year.

As the 1 year mark (November 4th) approaches, I am filled with dread and anticipation.  Well, it is mostly anticipation of all the chocolaty wonders I can reconnect with.

I have to be honest that I take turns being excited, anxious and nervous.  What am I going to do? Will I be able to eat chocolate moderately or will I turn back into the chocoholic that I was before?  I am frankly scared.

I often hear of people giving up smoking and drinking for a long period of time and then start back again.   I always think to myself: How stupid!  If you went that long without it then you clearly don’t need it! Why re-start an addiction?  And now I am contemplating doing exactly that!

Putting all the fears and reasons not to eat chocolate ever again aside, I am now in the counting the days and planning stage.  What will be my chocolate of choice to indulge in on November 4th?

I am thinking that it will be some kind of chocolate cake, homemade or bakery bought.

So please help me find the best, most indulgent and decadent mouth watering chocolate cake ever!  I am looking for either the recipe so I can make it or for the location where I can buy it!

Life is too short and it is totally unrealistic to think I will give up chocolate forever!!

30 days to go …

(as you all can my life is good, my main preoccupation is chocolate – lol)

Share this:

  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Reddit
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest
  • Pocket
  • Telegram
  • WhatsApp
  • Skype

Like this:

Like Loading...

An open letter to my Friend … Letting go of pain and fear and embracing the moment!

27 Friday Jul 2012

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Dating, EX Files, Finding Me

≈ 215 Comments

Tags

breakups, embrace, fear, future, god, Life, love, past, prayer, relationships, Universe, writing

(this started as an e-mail to my friend after a long conversation last night.  

Dear Friend, this is to you, and to me, and to all in pain!)

I am really sorry for being hard on you sometimes and probably causing you pain with my harsh words.  But my words are only the frustration that I feel when I think that you are stuck on the hurts of the past. I wish I could just grab you by the shoulders and shake some sense into you.

I hope one day to come up with a magic word that will snap you out of the past and into the present. Until then I will keep trying with the weapons I have: brutal honesty peppered with humor all enveloped in love.

I wish I could just give you a hug and hold you for a long time and be held by you for a long time.  I want to be like that as day turns into night and then into day again. I just think that you need to be handled with love and care like I do. And I am not talking about sex (even though, that probably wouldn’t be so bad either), I am just talking human touch and connection.  Just that feeling of somebody being there for you – no words necessary!

I don’t know the extent of your hurt and your pains from the past, but I know that is holding you back from being in the present and looking to a future.  I don’t want to compare my pain with your pain.  We all hurt in different ways and different degrees.  We all deal with it in different ways.  I really have no business telling you what to do, how to react and how to feel.  But being a friend allows me no other choice.  I have to tell you how I feel.

.. and in writing this to you I realize I am also writing it to myself!

I really want you to understand that there is at least one person that cares about you: ME.  I don’t want anything from you.  I don’t want anything in return.

Well, actually I do.

I want you to be happy! I love the sound of your laughter! I long to hear it every day! That is why I make the most stupid jokes, all in an attempt to hear your laughter!

I want you to realize what a great person you are! You are not perfect! Nobody is! But among all your imperfections you shine! You have so many great things about yourself, such as honesty, generosity, compassion.  You have morals and lives by them! What I appreciate the most is the way that you present yourself to me: real, fallible, caring and sensitive.

I want you to make peace with the hurt in the past and leave the past in the past!

I want you to stop fearing your future! Live the now in full!  Be here completely now!

You are not your past and your past is not you! Right now you can decide who you want to be and what life and future you want.

Respect the pain! Don’t run away or try to bury your past: expose it, confront it, feel it, cry it, mourn it, forgive it, and then let it go! Stop dragging it around with you.  It is such a heavy baggage and it has no place in your present and future.

Forgive the people that hurt you in the past!  Only when you forgive them, you are able to leave them where they belong:  in the past.  Let them be just a page on your big book of life. You have no idea of the pain that they could be carrying themselves.  Whatever they did to you it was not because of you but because of their own pains and their inabilities of dealing with it and communicating their needs. Wish them well, pray for them.  I still pray for Ex and wish him only the best in life. The peace that I get whenever I send him good thoughts is priceless to me.  It frees me.  It pacifies my heart!

Forgive yourself! Even if you think that you caused yourself pain in the past or that somehow you did something to deserve it, realize that you are a flawed human being. You will make mistakes every now and then – making mistakes is part of our growing.  The key here is to acknowledge it, learn from it, forgive yourself and let it go!

Believe in God without any question! Believe that there is a reason for everything, even in the hurt.  If you believe that God is a loving and merciful God than what do you fear? What do you doubt?  Pray, meditate, talk to God, tell him your fears, place your fears in his hands and let it go!

Be grateful! Remember to thank God for the goodness he has blessed you with.  Remember to be thankful for everything you have in life. Be grateful for your health and the health of family members, for the job you have, for the house you live in and the car you drive.  Be grateful for the beautiful sunshine, and the benefits of the rain, for the food you just had and for the smile of a stranger!

Pain is necessary and unavoidable! The pain was necessary to get you to where you are today!  But it is your choice to wallow in self pity or gain strength from it and move on.  And don’t get me wrong, the future won’t be only love and joy, you will probably get hurt again, but that is called living!  If were not for the bad, the good wouldn’t have any flavor.

The best is yet to come. We both thought that our last relationships were amazing and the one that we were destined to be with, but guess what? Life has bigger and better things in store for us.  That was just an appetizer for the feast that lies ahead!

Am I just fooling myself?  Perhaps, but who really knows what the future holds? No one, but God (if you believe), so choose to live a life that is full of promise.  Concentrate on today and love and live the most that you can! Send to the Universe that idea the your future is so bright you will need sunglasses 24/7.

Hurt? Hurt is growing pains! Hurt is just the price that we have to pay for the ultimate happiness!

Stop looking for answers! Sometimes in life there are no answers.  People behave in the ways they behave and sometimes it makes no sense and there is no explanation.  Yes, they could have been honest and open and upfront about whatever was troubling them instead of blindsiding us with “we are over”.

See hardships as gifts! I totally believe that when people break up with us they are doing us a favor! Of course I wish the break up was different. Pain and hurt are there to makes us stronger.  It forces one to confront themselves and either fall apart or thrive!  It gives us a chance to rediscover ourselves and be the best that we can be!  There is an unique lesson here and we need/want to make sure not to miss it!

Enjoy life-don’t let fear hold you back! I want you to go out and dance and date! Try again, as many times as necessary! (yeah I must admit this was a real tough one for me to write.  There is nothing I dread more than you finding someone and my dreams of ever meeting you and perhaps being more than friends will have to come to an end.  But when you love someone you have to put their needs ahead of your wants.)

LIVE! LOVE! AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, WHENEVER YOU CAN! That is my dream and hope for you!

(Thank you Ex for making my pain so unbearable that I started writing a blog so I would not explode. Were not for that, I would not have gotten back to my love of writing.  Were not for that I would not  have met so many great people that genuinely care and graciously offer their love in the form of comments. Were not for that I would have not met my Friend – the one that I am sure was part of my life in a previous existence.  He walked straight into my heart!. My heart doesn’t have an exit door!  Once you are in you are there to stay)

 

Share this:

  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Reddit
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest
  • Pocket
  • Telegram
  • WhatsApp
  • Skype

Like this:

Like Loading...

I choose mice!!!

09 Wednesday May 2012

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

fear, mice, snake

As I have mentioned in my other blog post today (http://listuniverse.wordpress.com/) , we have started receiving some unwanted guests in our offices: mice.

My boss and fellow partner in this business has been floating the idea of a cat.  Which I thought he was joking, after all, how can we keep a cat in the office? Who is going to clean the cat litter? Who is taking it home on weekends?

And I guess having caught another one in a trap really got him going on his idea. So I guess he decided to take action.

He walked into my office and said: “I was looking for a cat to come in every day but I couldn’t find one.”

I am like, humm, ok, who is going to take care of this cat if you find it anyway?

Ignoring my question, he continues:

“I found a python!’

What? You want to bring a snake to get rid of the mice?  If that is the case than you will be successful in getting rid of me, or I will be forever working from home.

And I kept going pointing it out how I would not share space with a snake in a million years.

In seeing the state of hysterics I was in, he said:

“ok, ok, relax.  I am not doing anything yet.  I am checking with you first.  I would never bring one in without checking with you first. Don’t worry I am not getting one.”

Now, please forgive me if you are a snake lover, but fear of snakes is at the top of my lists of fears!

So in this case, if I have to choose between a snake or mice, please send in the mice!!!

Which one would you choose?

Share this:

  • Print
  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Reddit
  • LinkedIn
  • Tumblr
  • Pinterest
  • Pocket
  • Telegram
  • WhatsApp
  • Skype

Like this:

Like Loading...
Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy

For contact:

blessedwithastar@hotmail.com

Follow Blog via Email

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 7,837 other subscribers

When I remember I have an Instagram account

"Mudanças acontecem na vida de cada pessoa. Você pode reagir a ela ou pode participar dela.” - Steve Harvey
Meet Wednesday. She is my friend's dog. #pitbull #dog #pet #friend
"A medida da inteligência é a capacidade de mudar." - Albert Einstein
Last breakfast of 2022. We had it all: Challah bread, bagels, biscuits, scones and pound cake. Carb, carb and more carb! Yummy!
"O progresso é impossível sem mudança; e aqueles que não conseguem mudar as suas mentes não conseguem mudar nada." George Bernard Shaw
Merry Christmas! Wishing peace, light and love to all!
"Se você só lê os livros que todo mundo está lendo, você só vai pensar o que todo mundo está pensando." - Haruki Murakami
My money tree is out of control.
"Para cada minuto que você se aborrece você perde sessenta segundos de felicidade." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
About last night: Delicious dinner at Harvest on Hudson in Hastings, NY
"Mude seus pensamentos e você mudará seu mundo" - #normanvincentpeale
About last night: Dinner at Sergio's.
"Quem nunca cometeu um erro, nunca tentou algo novo"
"O Amor é o objetivo, a vida é a jornada."
“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Eu vivo na possibilidade..."
New Rochelle Building boom! Progress or illusion?
"Às vezes você ganha, às vezes você aprende."- John C. Maxwell
Another beautiful day in New Rochelle!

Blog Stats

  • 257,257 hits

Archives

Recent Posts

  • All about Me, Myself and I
  • A star, not on the forehead
  • Everything works out in the end, if it hasn’t… just be patient
  • Here is my sister! Well, something like that…
  • When it is ok to be evasive

My favorite posts

… letting my heart be my guide…

Of prayers, expectations, love and hope!

After the Hurricane

Relationship Smarts

Exes are like Old clothes

The Last Kiss you gave me

Hanging on for dear life

In looking back I move forward

Categories

  • AWARDS
  • Daily Life
  • Daily Message
  • Dating
  • documentaries
  • EX Files
  • Fiction
  • Finding Me
  • Food
  • Mosaic and other crafts
  • Poetry
  • Reviews
  • travels
  • Volunteering
  • Youtube Videos

Most recent comments:

A Star on the Forehe… on All about Me, Myself and I
A Star on the Forehe… on All about Me, Myself and I
A Star on the Forehe… on All about Me, Myself and I
A Star on the Forehe… on All about Me, Myself and I
A Star on the Forehe… on A star, not on the forehead

Pages

  • About me

Blogroll

  • Learn WordPress.com
  • WordPress.com News
  • Get Support
  • Discuss
  • Get Inspired
  • Get Polling
  • Theme Showcase
  • WordPress Planet
  • List Universe

This month’s post

February 2023
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728  
« Jan    

Categories

AWARDS Daily Life Daily Message Dating documentaries EX Files Fiction Finding Me Food Mosaic and other crafts Poetry Reviews travels Volunteering Youtube Videos

Powered by WordPress.com.

 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d bloggers like this: