Tags
breakups, embrace, fear, future, god, Life, love, past, prayer, relationships, Universe, writing
(this started as an e-mail to my friend after a long conversation last night.
Dear Friend, this is to you, and to me, and to all in pain!)
I am really sorry for being hard on you sometimes and probably causing you pain with my harsh words. But my words are only the frustration that I feel when I think that you are stuck on the hurts of the past. I wish I could just grab you by the shoulders and shake some sense into you.
I hope one day to come up with a magic word that will snap you out of the past and into the present. Until then I will keep trying with the weapons I have: brutal honesty peppered with humor all enveloped in love.
I wish I could just give you a hug and hold you for a long time and be held by you for a long time. I want to be like that as day turns into night and then into day again. I just think that you need to be handled with love and care like I do. And I am not talking about sex (even though, that probably wouldn’t be so bad either), I am just talking human touch and connection. Just that feeling of somebody being there for you – no words necessary!
I don’t know the extent of your hurt and your pains from the past, but I know that is holding you back from being in the present and looking to a future. I don’t want to compare my pain with your pain. We all hurt in different ways and different degrees. We all deal with it in different ways. I really have no business telling you what to do, how to react and how to feel. But being a friend allows me no other choice. I have to tell you how I feel.
.. and in writing this to you I realize I am also writing it to myself!
I really want you to understand that there is at least one person that cares about you: ME. I don’t want anything from you. I don’t want anything in return.
Well, actually I do.
I want you to be happy! I love the sound of your laughter! I long to hear it every day! That is why I make the most stupid jokes, all in an attempt to hear your laughter!
I want you to realize what a great person you are! You are not perfect! Nobody is! But among all your imperfections you shine! You have so many great things about yourself, such as honesty, generosity, compassion. You have morals and lives by them! What I appreciate the most is the way that you present yourself to me: real, fallible, caring and sensitive.
I want you to make peace with the hurt in the past and leave the past in the past!
I want you to stop fearing your future! Live the now in full! Be here completely now!
You are not your past and your past is not you! Right now you can decide who you want to be and what life and future you want.
Respect the pain! Don’t run away or try to bury your past: expose it, confront it, feel it, cry it, mourn it, forgive it, and then let it go! Stop dragging it around with you. It is such a heavy baggage and it has no place in your present and future.
Forgive the people that hurt you in the past! Only when you forgive them, you are able to leave them where they belong: in the past. Let them be just a page on your big book of life. You have no idea of the pain that they could be carrying themselves. Whatever they did to you it was not because of you but because of their own pains and their inabilities of dealing with it and communicating their needs. Wish them well, pray for them. I still pray for Ex and wish him only the best in life. The peace that I get whenever I send him good thoughts is priceless to me. It frees me. It pacifies my heart!
Forgive yourself! Even if you think that you caused yourself pain in the past or that somehow you did something to deserve it, realize that you are a flawed human being. You will make mistakes every now and then – making mistakes is part of our growing. The key here is to acknowledge it, learn from it, forgive yourself and let it go!
Believe in God without any question! Believe that there is a reason for everything, even in the hurt. If you believe that God is a loving and merciful God than what do you fear? What do you doubt? Pray, meditate, talk to God, tell him your fears, place your fears in his hands and let it go!
Be grateful! Remember to thank God for the goodness he has blessed you with. Remember to be thankful for everything you have in life. Be grateful for your health and the health of family members, for the job you have, for the house you live in and the car you drive. Be grateful for the beautiful sunshine, and the benefits of the rain, for the food you just had and for the smile of a stranger!
Pain is necessary and unavoidable! The pain was necessary to get you to where you are today! But it is your choice to wallow in self pity or gain strength from it and move on. And don’t get me wrong, the future won’t be only love and joy, you will probably get hurt again, but that is called living! If were not for the bad, the good wouldn’t have any flavor.
The best is yet to come. We both thought that our last relationships were amazing and the one that we were destined to be with, but guess what? Life has bigger and better things in store for us. That was just an appetizer for the feast that lies ahead!
Am I just fooling myself? Perhaps, but who really knows what the future holds? No one, but God (if you believe), so choose to live a life that is full of promise. Concentrate on today and love and live the most that you can! Send to the Universe that idea the your future is so bright you will need sunglasses 24/7.
Hurt? Hurt is growing pains! Hurt is just the price that we have to pay for the ultimate happiness!
Stop looking for answers! Sometimes in life there are no answers. People behave in the ways they behave and sometimes it makes no sense and there is no explanation. Yes, they could have been honest and open and upfront about whatever was troubling them instead of blindsiding us with “we are over”.
See hardships as gifts! I totally believe that when people break up with us they are doing us a favor! Of course I wish the break up was different. Pain and hurt are there to makes us stronger. It forces one to confront themselves and either fall apart or thrive! It gives us a chance to rediscover ourselves and be the best that we can be! There is an unique lesson here and we need/want to make sure not to miss it!
Enjoy life-don’t let fear hold you back! I want you to go out and dance and date! Try again, as many times as necessary! (yeah I must admit this was a real tough one for me to write. There is nothing I dread more than you finding someone and my dreams of ever meeting you and perhaps being more than friends will have to come to an end. But when you love someone you have to put their needs ahead of your wants.)
LIVE! LOVE! AS MUCH AS YOU CAN, WHENEVER YOU CAN! That is my dream and hope for you!
(Thank you Ex for making my pain so unbearable that I started writing a blog so I would not explode. Were not for that, I would not have gotten back to my love of writing. Were not for that I would not have met so many great people that genuinely care and graciously offer their love in the form of comments. Were not for that I would have not met my Friend – the one that I am sure was part of my life in a previous existence. He walked straight into my heart!. My heart doesn’t have an exit door! Once you are in you are there to stay)
A very well written post! Sounds like are a follower of Eckhart Tolle! When we live in the present moment we can’t be haunted by the past or frightened by the future.
Thank you for stopping by and liking my blog!
Cheers,
Fred.
Hi Fred. I am yet to read Eckhart Tolle’s books, but living in the moment is something I struggle with often! Thank you and many blessings to you! 🙂
Wow! This post is awesome! 🙂
Thank you so much! Blessings! 🙂
Touching ! Food for thought too 🙂
Thank you! Blessings to you! 🙂
This is so well written. The word “authenticity” came up in my mind, after reading this post. I sense, strongly, your passion in this writing. Great post. Keep on writing. And, thank you for visiting Wilder Man On Rolling Creek. Appreciate it.
I am looking forward to following your post. Peace, T
You are welcome! Thank you for the greats words about this post! It was definitely straight from the heart! I enjoy your blog too!
Blessings! 🙂
This is excellent. I hope your friend read it – but for every person who reads it, there is words of value here. A wonderful post.
Thank you so much! He read it but I don’t think he got what I intended. Oh well… Still as you said so many other people got it! Many blessings to you! 🙂
Turn the page and carry on with the rest of the book. Remember as the writer you decide how the story goes on and the hero/heroine always recover.The previous chapters matter less and less as the story unfolds.
Wise point! I have been having a lot lessons lately on the need/joys of letting go of the past, and find that it is not easy but so rewarding! many blessings to you! 🙂
great, great, GREAT piece!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! So glad you you liked it! Blessings! 🙂
A post with the real essence of life,full of plain truths and sage sayings !
All the very best,
Doda
Hi Doda
Thank you so much for find goodness in my post!
Many blessings to you! 🙂
Pleasure my friend ! I’ll read more sometime,I do enjoy your writing style and your attitudes !
Stay well
Doda
I am glad you enjoy my writing! Thank you! Blessings! 🙂
Many thanks for this – you will not believe how I need this message right now. all the best and all the strength – live life, it is short and we only have one.
Thank you! How wonderful that my post reached you at the perfect time! Enjoy every second of this blessed life! Blessings to you! 🙂
I love your wonderful words to your friend. I’m glad I had a chance to read. You are a great person.All my best wishes to you.
Thank you for stopping by my blog, otherwise I would not have known you.
Thank you for the kind words and best wishes. You have an awesome blog too! 🙂 Many blessings! 🙂
This was a very lovely blog. It’s wonderful to read the mind of someone who really thinks about the nature of love.
Thank you so much for the great compliment! Many blessings! 🙂
These words come to me at just the right moment! Thank you!
So glad about that! Many blessings! 🙂
You have been blessed with the gift of writing the perfect words that everyone needs to hear, and truly think about. Your friends are blessed to have you and you’re an inspiration to all! 🙂
oh, thank you so much! You are kind! Blessings! 🙂
Hi I loved your words to your friend so much I’m back to reread them.Have great week-end.
Awesome! I am glad that you enjoyed reading them that much! Blessings! 🙂
It sure hurts to be hurt, but it hurts even more to live in the hurt. Forgive and forget, and life goes on. True teaching there, thanks for the visit,
Sallysuccess.
Hi Sally
You are so right.
Forgiving ourselves and forgiving others is the best gift we can give ourselves indeed.
Many blessings! 🙂
Beautifully written with so much to ponder.I admire you for not sinking into depression, and for inspiring others. Thank you — and for visiting and liking my blog.
Hi Leah
Thank you so much! Blogging has helped me immensely. I get some feelings, specially the negative ones, out of myself and on the paper/screen. That makes me light and lets me see things from another angle. I also get the support and insight from amazing new bloggers/readers that have become my friends.
Welcome aboard!
Many blessings! 🙂
Extremely powerful! Great post 🙂
Thank you so much! I am glad you enjoyed it! Blessings! 🙂
Beautifully expressed, this advice applies to anyone who has been hurt in any way by another. It is not just about breakups.
Thank you so much! I am glad that you liked it! Blessings! 🙂
Love this post and your description of pain and caring. Thank for liking my post and stopping by.
Thank you! and you are welcome! It is great to visit a published writer! Blessings! 🙂
Reblogged this on Rose with Thorns and commented:
So beautiful!
Yes, yes, yes. I love this so very much!
Thank you so much for reblogging! I feel special and honored that you like it that much! Blessings! 🙂
Well said!! Much wisdom in those words of advice. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting! Blessings! 🙂
I am so blessed to have found your blog! You are so beautiful! Namaste.
oh that is so kind of you! Thank you so much! I am the blessed one! 🙂
I am so moved by this post. Thank you for sharing it.
Hi LaTanya Thank you so much! 🙂 Blessings!
well said – to the point and very clear. I am humbled by this post!
Thank you so much! Blessings! 🙂
When I was younger, and battling inner-conflict, I often wrote letters to an imaginary friend, then would go back, two weeks, or a month later, and re-read what I’d written in an effort to ‘see’ what I couldn’t see when I’d penned my thoughts. It sounds like what you’re doing here. Thought provoking post.
That is a good idea! I wrote it to someone that turned out not to be the friend I thought he was, so in the end, he was indeed somewhat imaginary. It is amazing what our minds can create. Thank you and many blessings! 🙂
Reblogged this on Sassania's Blog.
Thank you for such a healing blog. Many others I am sure could benefit from this as much as I did.
Thank you so much! That is so kind of you to say that! It makes me feel great about putting my thoughts online! Many blessings! 🙂
Thank you, an extremely inspiring blog to read, reading on my lunch break and i’ve just been crying in the toilets so just what I needed right now 🙂 xx
oh Thank you for reading! Crying and sadness is okay but don’t stay there too long. Sometimes I even set a clock and allow myself some time to be sad, but after then I quickly snap out of it and start counting all my blessings! Everything passes and you will emerge stronger, believe me!! Sending you hugs and blessings! 🙂
Excellent post and very helpful!
Hi Tessa! Thank you so much! I am glad you liked it! Blessings! 🙂
Blessings to you as well!
🙂
Such a deep Blog ! Tks For visiting mine.
Live sherazade 🌷🌸🌹
You are welcome and thank you! 🙂
Beautiful, heartfelt and wise post!! Blessings to you! Thanks for visiting my site so that I could find your blog! 🙂 Have a AWESOME DAY!
Thank you! Blessings! 🙂
Reblogged this on Crazy Pasta Child.
Thank you so much for the reblog! Blessings! 🙂
Such loving words to one who hurt you. I wish my adult son could read this to heal from the wounds his father left from emotional abuse. He is learning in his own way to forgive. Thank you.
I truly believe that some people that have hurt me didn’t really realize what they were doing or the extent of it, and they were in pain themselves. It is best to answer hurt with grace and compassion. Forgiveness is indeed the best gift we can give ourselves. Each one of us have to learn it in our own way. I wish your son strength and peace! Many blessings! 🙂
Thank you, Star. I am seeing him smile and laugh more than ever before. I think he is healing. I am too. Hugs and continued peace to you too.
That is awesome! I will continue sending prayers his way! Blessings! 🙂
Thank you. Blessings to you too.
🙂
This is really a beautiful piece. I wish it was written to me. Wonderful words of love and wisdom.
Thank you.
Hi Don. Thank you so much! It was written for you too, it is for me, it is for all of us! I hope you are enjoying a blessed weekend! 🙂
Wonderful post filled with reality and love. Thanks for sharing.
HI Margo, Thank you so much! Blessings! 🙂
Hope your friend takes notice (especially of how much you care). Except for the bit about believing in god without question. We should never believe anything without question, that would be throwing away the mental capacities that make us what we are.
Hi Rose. Thank you so much for the feedback. My friend knew I cared but I don’t know if he ever realized how much. We are still 2 ships passing in the night unable to get together,and that is very sad to me. As far as believing in God without question, that to me is my core. It is the glue that holds me together at the most difficult times. Knowing in my heart, without any doubt, that there is someone (by any name, God, the Universe, Light, etc) that watches over me gives me strength to handle anything. But I totally understand your point. Wishing you a blessed week! 🙂
Great letter! It can be sent to many friends. The wisdom is certainly there. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much! Blessings! 🙂
simply true and therefore wonderful!
Thank you so much! 🙂
A great and needed reminder <3
Thank you! Blessings! 🙂
Welcome 🙂
Beautiful writing. Hope you have gotten over this relationship. I felt your pain and everything you wrote about pain, forgiveness , grateful and God, is very real.
Hi Monica, Yes I am over it, time does heal everything and the pain contributes to make us better human beings. Wishing you a blessed 2017! 🙂
I feel your Heart within your words, words that are exquisitely expressed. I couldn’t agree more when you stated it is better to tell the truth then to lie something I can relate to more then you know. Bless you for your Loving Heart. Much Love, <3
Thank you so much! You are very kind, and much love right back to you! 🙂
This could have been written for me. Thank you. It would be great to have someone that cared so much.
Unfortunately sometimes it seems that the caring is not warranted or wanted, but I will continue to care if my heart tells me so 🙂 Many blessings to you! 🙂
That is true. I will always care too, it really just comes natural no matter how many time you have been hurt. Time and fate can change things,and you once again take that chance, because when its good it’s good.
Reblogged this on Stories of Forgiving.
Hi Craig
Thank you so much for the reblog! Blessings! 🙂
A pleasure
Kind regards and “boomerang” blessings (oops, er sorry, wrong country)
craig
PS
Best wishes from the First City to see the light
No worries, boomerang works 🙂