Category Archives: Daily Message

Two dates and a dog

20 Tuesday Sep 2022

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On Sunday I had two dates.

I normally wouldn’t drive out of my way to go on a coffee date, but the meeting place was Barnes & Noble in White Plains, NY.  I love book stores.  This guy and I had been exchanging hellos for awhile and I wanted to see if there was anything there.

We agreed to meet at 10am.  I went earlier to browse the shelves, but they only open at 10am :-(.  Even though there was a Starbucks inside Barnes & Noble we decided to walk across the street to Hastings Tea & Coffee and sit outside.

He is a 65 year old doctor. He still works. He has some kind of rotation that has him working for 24 hours once every two weeks. I would love that schedule.

He looked, dressed and acted younger than his age.  I enjoyed meeting him and we talking about a lot different things, including spiritual stuff.  Time flew by.  I realized it was already almost noon and I quickly got up to leave. He was surprised I was leaving.

I am not sure if there will be a second date.  Even though the conversation was great, I am not sure if there is enough there to meet up again.  We shall see.

***

After that date I was supposed to go with a friend to brunch but she canceled last minute. I had brunch at home with my sister and did stuff around the apartment. 

The cute dog above is Mr. W.  I don’t want to disclose his name, but he has an imposing name that starts with W., so use your imagination.

I met my date and Mr. W. at 5:30pm at The Broken Bow Brewery in Tuckahoe, NY.  They were were sitting at a table outside in the back.  Mr W. is the nicest, quietest dog you could ever meet.  My date had a flight of beers, I had nothing.  I didn’t want to drink or eat anything before dinner.

At 6:30pm we left and went to Burrata Restaurant in Eastchester, NY, just a few blocks away. We had a couple of appetizers of eggplant and meatball and we shared a couple of pizza pies, a margherita and a prosciutto.  I had a Cappelletti spritz cocktail, he had red wine. Everything was delicious.

I didn’t have dessert.  A win!  But don’t be so proud, I have been overindulging in sugar at all other times.

Similar to the first date, we had a great time.  It feels like we are old friends. We talk and laugh a lot.  We talk a lot about cool restaurants, vacations, works, etc.  I like picking his brain on technology topics.  

At the end of dinner, I stopped by his car to say bye to Mr. W.  He had stayed in the car while  we were at the restaurant.  The car has dog mode, which I had never heard of before meeting him.  It means that it is climate controlled, and there is the huge sign on the dashboard alerting passersby:

We awkwardly hugged goodbye. As we quickly hugged I think that I subconsciously avoided his lips, so there was this quick brush on the side of my lips.  There was not an ounce of romance vibe during dinner, so I didn’t expect anything.  I am not sure if he is just shy or doesn’t have much interest.  So, I am not even sure if he was trying to kiss me.  

We will see if there is a third date…

***

I have 2 dates this week with 2 new characters 🙂  I decided not to wait for life to slow down to live it up.

“A woman has to live her life, or live to repent not having lived it.”
― D.H. Lawrence, Lady Chatterley’s Lover

 

 

 

 

Audit and Dating, same difference

15 Thursday Sep 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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I am sorry friends; it has been two weeks since I last posted.  Blame it on the audit that my firm is going through… combined with laziness and lack of motivation.

It is so easy for me to get off track with anything.  It then takes ages to get back on track.  Right now, exercise has been suffering.  I find that my eating habits and exercise go hand in hand.  If one is off, then the other goes off also.

French lessons on Duolingo have been a thing of the past.  I keep restarting.

I am learning how to allow myself to just be and live without pressure.  No need to be battering myself with negativity.  I get off track, I will just dust myself off and get back on track.  As many times as necessary.

The audit is going much better than I had anticipated.  The auditors have come and gone from our offices.  They were more personable than the prior ones.  

They are gone physically but their requests and questions continue. I found out today that we are not going to be tested on all areas, so that accounts for it being easier than I expected.  Fingers crossed it all continues to go smoothly, and it ends soon.

I am finally realizing that I don’t need to stress myself out… until I need to stress myself out. The pre-worry, the anxiety, the living on tomorrow doesn’t help with anything. Some of what I worry about never come to pass, so it has just been useless worry, wasted energy.

I went on one date last Friday.  He is a 60-year-old Stock trader that I had met a couple of years ago on another app but had never met.  He drove from Brooklyn during rush hour.  So, a 40-minute trip took one hour and half on that Friday evening.

We met at Rye Bar and Grill.  The place was a fun, noisy restaurant with a big bar, and tables in and outdoors.  I met him by the bar, and after some small talk we moved to a table. I had a glass of prosecco and he had a couple of beers.  We shared messy chicken wings for appetizers.  I had burger and fries.  He had a skirt steak.  The food was okay.  Not the best or worst I ever had.  I didn’t have dessert… yes be proud 🙂

We had a great time.  He is a great guy, but again I am not sure about a future.  I didn’t really detect any, so I am not sure about a second date.  We have been testing, so perhaps he is willing to be friends…

There was a point in time that I would go on a date as an excuse to get dressed up and go out.  That is not fun to me anymore.  I need to have the idea that something could happen… a friendship or something more, else.

What I am getting a lot lately is guys wanting to meet for coffee during the day.  Even though sometimes I can, I don’t like to meet during the day on a week day.  I much rather be done with work and relax, than have to hurry there and back. Plus it is much more romantic to meet for drinks at the end of the day,  than to meet for coffee, as a first date.

I have been blocked by 2 guys this week because of that.  Or perhaps there were other reasons.  

Guy 1 – He chose a place in his town, 40 minutes away from me.  I suggested a place closer to me on a weekend. He changed the subject, then blocked me. 

Guy 2 – He asked me out for coffee during the day.  I suggested coffee at the end of the day.  He kept ignoring that and insisting on meeting during the day during the week. Then he complained that I was making things difficult.  Before I had a change to reply he blocked me.

Whatever their reasons were, they have done me a favor by not continuing to waste my energy.

I no longer need to know the why of things.  All I need to do is accept and move on.  All I need to do is be grateful.  Everything that comes to me or moves away from me is a blessing.

I have a date tomorrow. It should be fun. Stay tuned.

I finished another mosaic piece. It is pretty 🙂 Stay tuned.

 

 

Dating? What Dating?

11 Thursday Aug 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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“He was swimming in a sea of other people’s expectations. Men had drowned in seas like that.” ― Robert Jordan, New Spring

Even though I haven’t gone on any dates since I re-joined Match over a month ago, I have exchanged a lot messages with potentials, and therefore I have some stories to tell.  I could have gone on some dates, but due to my lack of time, I am being more selective. I rather not waste anybody’s time.  or mine.

There were some guys that I was getting only a friend vibe and not romance.  I gave them the friendship option.  A couple agreed but we haven’t met yet.

When I started online dating years ago I never spoke on the phone prior to meeting in person.  Then I relaxed a little about that rule and would give my number out if I thought someone was serious.  Now, after exchanging numbers with a couple of people and being frustrated with the experience, I am back to not talking on the phone.  Of course, every now and then I may change my mind.   

“There’s a butterfly that has been hovering around the window. It doesn’t know where to go. I am that butterfly.” ― Bhuwan Thapaliya

In no particular order:

The Uninterested Learner:  This guy mentions that he is learning Portuguese, and writes a few words in Portuguese.  I get excited that we have something to talk about right away.  I reply with a simple greeting in Portuguese.  He takes 2 days to reply that he doesn’t know what it means. What about Google? Anyway, I translate it and try to initiate a conversation.  He goes silent again.  Then comes back again with a hi.  I reply and he goes silent.  It shows his level of interest.  I am not hanging around for a hi every few days.  Bye, or as we say in Brazil, tchau (ciao)!

The Busy Caller.  This guy and the one below are the reasons why I am not giving my number out anymore.  We had a great conversation on the phone, so great that he kept calling and I kept answering. Until I got tired of it.  He would end every call with: “We need to meet”, but never made plans.  I proposed meeting for coffee a couple of times, but he was always was busy.  I stopped answering the phone.  Talk is cheap.

The Not so Spiritually-Grown.   He said he wanted to just say a quick hi and make plans to meet. He called and we talked for almost 1 hour about, yes you guessed, spiritual growth.  He was eager to mention the many years he has been working on himself and how he has grown as a person.  

We made dinner plans for the following evening.  Next day comes and he texts: “I didn’t sleep well, and I don’t feel like driving to your town tonight.  Tomorrow night I have plans already, and then I am leaving for Spain for 10 days.  I will contact you when I return.”  Good thing I didn’t hold my breath. Ten days have come and gone long ago. Honesty is a sign of spiritual growth, or perhaps of just a descent human.  I knew he would never reach out again, so why not just be honest?

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” ― Plato

The All about Boating guy:  He lives by a small lake about 1 hour away. We tried making plans to meet, but he always canceled over boating issues. The first time he canceled because there was an unexpected meeting about the dock, then someone was coming to fix the dock, then he had to go boating with his brother.  I decided not to try to schedule anymore.  I was already not feeling it, and I decided that he is too far invested in a boating lifestyle.  I am not, and don’t want to be.  In the end I just didn’t feel we wouldn’t be a good match and didn’t want him traveling 1 hour to see me, when he could go boating instead. 😊

The Bluffer:  this is a bunch of guys and not only one.  They will just come out with something like: “How about we grab a drink this week, what day are you free? ” I say: “sure”, and suggest a day. They in turn can never find the time.  They are not sure when they are free, but they keep messaging and wasting my time.  Why ask someone out if there is no intention of going through with it?

The Disingenuous.   He asked for my number right away.  I said no, and explained why not.  He asked me:  “How can we make plans to meet if you don’t give me your number?”  I said: “Right here, the same way we are communicating now.”  We exchanged a few more messages.  On Saturday morning he messages me asking me to lunch on Sunday.  When I replied accepting his invitation he was not online anymore.  And he was not online again until Sunday night, when he said:  “I got busy with my kids and didn’t have a chance to check Match. If I had your number…”

I didn’t really say what I wanted to say.  When I didn’t hear back from him on Saturday I knew there would be no Sunday brunch.  I have seen that movie before.

Note: So happens that as I am writing this he has another invitation for me.  Details to follow.

“I think Kitaru is honestly seeking something,” I went on. “In his own way, at his own pace. It’s just that I don’t think he’s grasped yet what it is. That’s why he can’t make any progress. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, it’s not easy to look for it.” ― Murakami Haruki

The Back Pedaling guy.  We exchanged a few messages, he invites me to dinner and I say yes.  Location and time are set. Then I get a video call request from him through the app.  I don’t accept it.  He then says that he hit that button by accident.  Later he says that is probably a good idea that we have a video call before meeting so that we can see that we are who we say we are. Because, as he said: “I could show up and you are a man”.  Yep, he said that, and he has not been the first.

This is a total turn off for me.  If you are not sure about someone then don’t schedule a date.  Be upfront about your needs and wants.  I don’t do video calls.  I have no interest in that.  Date was canceled.  He then said that we should meet for coffee.  While I have no problem in meeting for coffee, or for nothing really, like meeting at the library or something like that, I don’t like how he handled this.  I am not interested anymore.

The Young and Not Classy.  This guy is eight years younger than me, but by the way he went on and on, you would think that he was 20 years younger.  Side note:  I look younger than him.  In the first few messages there was no mention of age.  Then he started with questions such as if I don’t mind that he is younger, have I dated younger men, what is the youngest men I ever dated, etc.  It just got annoying that he kept obsessing about the age difference. If age is not an issue, then don’t make it an issue. Bye baby!

The All about Sex.  This guy seemed funny and in the beginning we exchanged a few cute messages.  There were a couple of innuendos thrown in there, and I just played along. I am okay with that, and probably guilt of that.  But he kept going and seemed stuck on the sexual innuendo world.  I tried guiding the messages to other areas but he was one track mind.  I got off that track before I got run over.  

“Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

The Bad Interviewer.  He talks/write a lot, but it is not really a conversation.  It is being bombarded with questions that are meaningless to me.  What is your favorite color?  If you could be a pet which would you be?  What is your favorite food? What is your favorite season? Have you ever broken a bone? What is your favorite day of the week?  Day or night? And the list of inane questions goes on and on.  Finally I just sent one question back: “Date or no date?”.  He didn’t get it.  He never will.

Don’t be turned off to online dating after reading this.  There are some good guys also.  Not that those above are not good people.  They are just not good for me. 

There will always be miscommunications, misunderstandings, assumptions, expectations and the such.  Some people are just difficult.  I am difficult.

I believe in online dating.  I am grateful for the opportunity of meeting people that I wouldn’t normally have a chance to meet in my day to day life.  I still see joy in it, even though some times the water there is so murky one cannot see anything, let alone joy.

“Time provides all of us with the opportunity to change, alter our belief system, and create new perspectives that challenge a person’s character and teach him or her how to become a happier and wiser person.” ― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

 

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, and so am I!

06 Saturday Aug 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message

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“Books are a uniquely portable magic.”
― Stephen King, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

Yippie, I finally finished a book.  Reading, not writing.  I think it has been years since I actually read a book in its entirety.  I have many books started, but for one reason or another I haven’t been able to finish them.  I blame the writer for not being able to grab and maintain my attention.  Just kidding of course.  I am the guilty one.

All the unread books in my bedroom just keep staring at me.  They make me feel that I am not taking advantage of so much knowledge, self discovery, fun. I could be discovering other worlds, in and out.  I could be discovering myself.  If I can only hang in there past the first few pages.  

The book I just finished is the one above: “Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine”.  It is sad, but also charming and fun.  I was rooting for Eleanor from the first page.  She had an abusive childhood, had no friends and no social skills.   Still, I saw myself in her.  The writer did a great job at keeping me engaged and wanting to find out what happens next.

I won’t talk too much about it.  I am glad I read it, and I would recommend it. Somehow, it made me rediscover the joy of reading.

“A room without books is like a body without a soul.” ― Marcus Tullius Cicero

Now I am ready to start another book and keep going.  I am feeling so ambitious I am thinking of starting 2 books, a fiction and a non-fiction.  Too much?  Probably.  Perhaps I should just stick to one at a time.  We shall see.

Where to go now? The next 3 pictures are the books I have on my nightstands.  Which one should I choose next?  Any suggestions?  Some of them I have read more than a few pages, but it has been so long that I have to re-start.

“If you only read the books that everyone else is reading, you can only think what everyone else is thinking.” ― Haruki Murakami

***

and no, I am not completely fine.  When I things at work cannot get any busier, they do.  My co-worker is not back yet. I have asked her to give me an idea of when she plans to return. If it will be much longer I will put her on disability and I will get a temp.

Then,  today, I get the news that we are going to be audited again by the regulators.  It has been only 3 years since the last one, and they are back again.  They are coming to the office only in September, but they already send me a list of requests.

oh well, I am just going to read a book and try to keep stress and fatigue at bay.

Have a blessed weekend you all!

Progress or Illuision?

03 Wednesday Aug 2022

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“Progress is not an illusion; it happens, but it is slow and invariably disappointing.” ― Orwell

My poor little building is being dwarfed by new bigger and taller neighbors. The picture above is the view from my parking lot. One building is almost done and two are on the way.  

And those are not the only ones.  I thought it was a total of 25 new buildings, but the total number is actually 40.  There are about a dozen completed, another dozen yet to start, and about 18 under construction.

Add to all the construction noise and commotion, all the road, utility and infrastructure projects to upgrade water, electric, gas, etc.  Living and getting around downtown New Rochelle has been a bit of a nightmare.  I look forward to the end of it… in about 5 years.  Yes, I am being an optimist.

“Progress always involves risk; you can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.” ― F.W. Dupee

I believe progress is good, but 40 residential and multi-use buildings seems way too much.  I wonder if we really have the infrastructure to handle so many buildings and so many more people, cars, etc.  And where will all the people to populate all these buildings be coming from? 

Before Covid and remote working, New Rochelle was aiming to attract the Manhattan commuters.  New Rochelle is only 30 minutes from Manhattan, so it is attractive to workers looking for an easy commute and cheaper rents. 

I guess, even after Covid, New Rochelle is still hoping to attract the Manhattanites and Brooklynites that got priced out of their neighborhoods.  Even though the rents around here are not that much cheaper.

I am looking forward to the new parks, restaurants, coffee shops, more cultural programs, more musical events, and the such.  I am looking forward to a more revitalized New Rochelle, not only the skyline, but the lifestyle.  

“Restlessness is discontent — and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man — and I will show you a failure.” ― Thomas A. Edison

Speaking of progress, when it comes to dating there is none! More to follow.  There are no dates, but still there are stories. 🙂

Meet Barnaby, the bunny

28 Thursday Jul 2022

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“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” ― Anatole France

I am busy, busy, busy.  I am stressed, stressed, stressed.  I am grateful, grateful, grateful!

This is Barnaby. He is the mosaic studio’s mascot.  He has been living there for the past 2 months. 

I love holding him, but I rarely do.  I am afraid to pick him up.  He feels so fragile that I feel I may hurt him or break his little bones. 

He is adorable, and the softest thing I ever touched. He makes me smile.

“The man who chases two rabbits, catches neither.” – Confucius

“My cat brought me a toy. I thanked her and threw it. She sat there gave me a look that made me realize people and dogs are the crazy ones.” ― Dan Harmon

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. Winston Churchill

“I talk to him when I’m lonesome like; and I’m sure he understands. When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my tailored clothes, but I never say naught thereat. For the good Lord knows I can buy more clothes, but never a friend like that.” ― W. Dayton Wedgefarth

It is okay to be off course

16 Saturday Jul 2022

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“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.”
― Michael J. Fox

My Duolingo streak is broken. I made it to day 339. I had a choice of paying to keep my streak going. Call me frugal, but I didn’t pay.

Perhaps I should have. It has been 3 or 4 days and I still haven’t gone back to doing my daily French lessons. It is easy to leave it for later if I no longer have a streak to protect.

All of a sudden I feel like a loser. How could I break my streak? Keeping that streak going made me feel powerful and capable of grand things. Stupid, right?

“Don’t mistake activity with achievement.”
― John Wooden

It will take me another year to get to that number again, once I start it, if I start it. Perhaps keeping a streak going is not for me. Maybe I should make a point of breaking streaks.

Duolingo is not the only thing that I have been neglecting lately. This blog, my exercise routine, healthy meals, books, etc, they are all suffering. 

I have been choosing to start early at work, instead of going to the gym. I often choose Netflix and Sedecordle instead of reading a book. I sometimes eat cheesebread and fries for dinner, and the list goes on and on.

None of that really makes me a loser. Nothing has the power to, if I don’t let it. It is a matter of choice. Lately, I have been making choices that are not wise, but it feels comfortable. Perhaps that is just a nice way to say I have been lazy lately.

“In the pursuit of perfection, I forgot I was already enough.”
― Caroline George, The Summer We Forgot

And so what? Who says that I have to be always productive and perfect? Here is a newsflash to myself: You are not perfect. Perfection is an illusion. Just aim to be the best human being you can.

I am embracing the fact that it is okay for things not to be okay. It is okay to be off my routine. It is okay to let things go for a little bit; it is okay not to pressure myself to always be doing something.

It is okay not to feel in control at times. It is healthy to realize that streaks end, that sometimes we go off course. It is the perfect time to reassess my priorities. It is the perfect time to do things out of love and want, and not out of the sense of obligation and in search of perfection.

“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”― Salvador Dali

Sometimes one needs a break, needs to step off the gas pedal. I am yet again choosing to be kind to myself. I am giving myself permission to be less and do less.

I know I will slowly get back to the things that feed my body, mind and soul in a healthy way. I will go back to pursuing interests and passions, instead of coasting.

For now, I breathe. I get work done, deadlines met. I have finished another mosaic, which makes my heart sing (posting it next).

And for another great way to waste my valuable and scarce time, I just signed up for Match.

Because hope never dies.

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
― Emily Dickinson

Just silent, not gone

11 Monday Jul 2022

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“We often think that our affairs, great or small, must be tended continuously and in detail, or our world will disintegrate, and we will lose our places in the universe. That is not true, or if it is true, then our situations were so temporary that they would have collapsed anyway.” ― Maya Angelou

Life has been incredibly busy. My co-worker has been out now for over 1 month being treated for breast cancer.

The good news is that she is doing well and will not need chemotherapy. The bad news is that I have no idea when she will be returning to work. 

I have been staying at work late every day and working on Saturdays to be able to get it all done. In the end I do get it all done, but I tend to forget about me along the way. 

I am trying not to let the things I love slide by.  Some of what I love most are mosaics, and being involved with my blog, writing and visiting my blogger friends.

I haven’t been that present here.  I will try to catch up to everyone’s blog in the coming days.  As far as mosaics I managed to finish the one below, and I am putting the finishing touches in another one that I will be posting in the next few days.  

https://www.instagram.com/blessedwithastar/?hl=en

 

Freedom, not loneliness

29 Wednesday Jun 2022

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“You can change the place you live, your clothes, your interests, your friends, your religion and even your partner. However, if you forgot to change your mind, attitude, beliefs about the world, how you treat people and how you plan to be different this time around, why did you even bother?” ― Shannon L. Alder

After 5 years of living with me, my sister moved into her own place. It was not planned.  It happened very quickly.

I was 17 years old when I moved to NY.  She stayed in Brazil.  For the next 34 years we would see each once or twice a year.  In 2017 she got her Green Card and came to live with me. 

We are both fiercely independent Aries, loving our freedom and independence. Living together came with some adjustments.   Apparently I was doing a lot things wrong until she got here and showed me how to do it correctly 🙂  We both think we know it all! Things were better than expected though, we settled in a nice rhythm, and 5 years went by.

My tenant moved out on June 15, and I decided to sell the condo.  No more tenants for me.  I took my sister there to see it for the first time.  She fell in love with it.  

She is now my tenant while she saves more money for an official down payment.  She has been saving and investing since she got her first job here, so it will not take long.  I am extremely proud of her for being in the position to own something of her own here in the US.

We are both very excited to have our own spaces again, but she won’t be far.  We are in the same building. She is only a floor away. 



THE ABOVE CARTOON SAYS:
You get home, make coffee, sit on your favorite chair and there is no one…
You are the one that decides if that is loneliness or freedom.

So now I have my second bedroom back.  It is a good size bedroom, but I have so many ideas for it, that I will need 5 additional bedrooms to do it all.

Guest/Mom’s room- I will need a day bed or a sleep sofa. Comfy, but stylish.

Library/Reading corner -I will need a bookshelf and a comfy chair.

Mosaic studio – I will need a table and storage space for the materials.

Exercise corner – I will need to buy an elliptical. Need space to store mat, elastic bands, weights, etc. There are 2 closets, but I rather have those items easy, ready to use.

Sauna corner – need a space for my sauna blanket.  I am tired of rolling and unrolling it to use. And somewhere to place it – on the floor is not that comfortable.  Perhaps I will use the daybed when I get it or some small futon.

If you know me, you know I am a saver and not a spender, so I am not running out and buying a bunch of stuff to fill the room.  Specially after I take a look at my investments-scarily low. I will take my time.

“Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.” ― Maya Angelou

https://www.instagram.com/blessedwithastar/?hl=en

 

A date here and there. A drink here and there. Fun always and everywhere.

17 Friday Jun 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, EX Files, Finding Me

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City Island, NY

City Island, NY

“What is past is past. never go back. Not for excuses. Not for justification, not for happiness. You are what you are, the world is what it is.” ― Mario Puzo

I should listen to Mario Puzo.  I think you realize by now that I have a problem closing doors.  I keep believing in redemption and second chances. Or perhaps I just think that the person will one day realize how amazing I really am.   I am getting better though.  I am slowly realizing I don’t have to talk to everyone. I don’t have to let everyone back in.  I don’t have to be nice to everyone. I don’t have to be friends with everyone.

“Even a spineless arthropod shed what’s no longer useful and leaves it behind them.  Are you not greater than they?” ― Jason Versey

I am deciding which online dating site I will be signing for next.   It will probably be Match.  While I decide and find the time to fill out a profile and upload photos, I have been busy with friends and some guys from the past.

There is this one guy that I don’t remember what name I gave him here.  I actually don’t even remember if I wrote about him.  Several years ago, we had a late-night date at a diner.  Immediately it was friendly and not romantic. 

Since then, he will call or text  a couple of times a year.   There is nothing interesting about his conversations.  It is all about him complaining about being busy and gloating about making a lot money.  He will always say that we need to get together and that he will call me to schedule.  He never does.  By now, I don’t even want to be friends anymore. 

I have his name on my phone as “Waste of Time”,  that should tell you how I feel about his texts and calls.  Finally, I got tired and blocked him on Messenger. 

The other day he found me on WhatsApp.  After exchanging a couple of messages, I blocked him there too.  It is the same song and dance.  He is not even friend material.

From now on I have to remember to block people on both, Messenger and WhatsApp.

“Memory takes a lot of poetic license. It omits some details; others are exaggerated, according to the emotional value of the articles it touches, for memory is seated predominantly in the heart. The interior is therefore rather dim and poetic.” – Tennessee Williams

Kremšnita at Dubrovnik Restaurant

Kremšnita at Dubrovnik Restaurant

Then there is Mr. Stock: https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2021/09/10/the-prelude-to-the-unmasking-of-mr-stock/

We had a great time at that dinner over a year ago. I thought that he would ask me out again.  He never did.  Still, we continued the texting/talking relationship.  I was okay with that because we have become good friends.

Last Friday he asked if I wanted to go out to dinner.  I was surprised.  I like to eat, so I said yes.  I don’t mind last minute invitations.  If I am free, I go.

We went to Dubrovnik’s in New Rochelle.  He drove over 1 hour to take me to dinner.  He said that it took him hours to get the courage to ask me out.  I found that weird, and told him that.  I don’t get what the fear was. Later I understood that he thought this was a date.

During dinner he hinted that he now feels ready for a relationship… with me.  I was honest and said:  Been there, done that!  I told him about B., and how they are similar in the fact that they are both widowers and were not ready to date when we originally met.  I told him I am not making that same mistake again.

I also said to him that I believe that if a man really likes a woman, he doesn’t wait 1 year to ask her out on a second date.

He tried to give me all sorts of excuses, but I was not moved.  Friendship is the only thing on the table for him.

We continue to be friends.

“There exists in man a mass of sense lying in a dormant state, and which, unless something excites it to action, will descend with him, in that condition, to the grave.” ― Thomas Paine

Another guy, G. from a neighboring town reached out this week on WhatsApp.  Are people all of a sudden discovering WhatsApp? He mentioned that we met on OKCupid last year.  I was cautious as I didn’t remember anything about him.  I asked him if he had changed phone numbers, as he was not on my contacts.  He said that he didn’t.  I was only able to remember him when he sent me a picture.

I asked why we had stopped communicating and he said that I went to Brazil to visit my parents and never got in touch again. That is very possible.

I went through my records.  Yes, I do keep dating records.  It does come in handy. On my notes on him, I wrote: “Seems nice, but doesn’t seem to be that interested. Divorce is not final yet.”

On my notes I have a different phone number for him.  I will keep that in mind and ask him about it when we meet for coffee on Sunday. 

“Potential has a shelf life.” ― Margaret Atwood

On Saturday (Jun11), a friend, my sister and I went to a new Venezuelan restaurant in my town called Arepa Mania.  They had live music, and the two singers were great.   Do you know when restaurants open too soon, before they are ready?  That was the feeling I had.  Still, it was good, the owners were very pleasant, the music fun, the food good, but I think they have room for improvement.  After, we went for drinks to Modern Restaurant.

Cocktail at Modern Restaurant

Cocktail at Modern Restaurant

On Thursday (Jun14) we went to City Island, NY to Sea Shore restaurant.  The views were incredible, the service was great, but the food was just ok. The best for me was the free corn bread that they serve at the beginning.

Last night (Jun15) we took a friend to dinner at Tapas & Cucina in Eastchester, NY.  We had the most amazing time.  I have enjoyed their food, ambiance and service the past two times I had been there, but this time they added music to it.  They had an Italian singer, and it was great.  It was her birthday and the singer came and serenated her.  She was over the moon.

Yes, I have been busy 🙂

“We don’t know where we’re going, but isn’t is fun to go?” ― L.M. Montgomery