“I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God’s business.”
― Michael J. Fox
My Duolingo streak is broken. I made it to day 339. I had a choice of paying to keep my streak going. Call me frugal, but I didn’t pay.
Perhaps I should have. It has been 3 or 4 days and I still haven’t gone back to doing my daily French lessons. It is easy to leave it for later if I no longer have a streak to protect.
All of a sudden I feel like a loser. How could I break my streak? Keeping that streak going made me feel powerful and capable of grand things. Stupid, right?
“Don’t mistake activity with achievement.”
― John Wooden
It will take me another year to get to that number again, once I start it, if I start it. Perhaps keeping a streak going is not for me. Maybe I should make a point of breaking streaks.
Duolingo is not the only thing that I have been neglecting lately. This blog, my exercise routine, healthy meals, books, etc, they are all suffering.
I have been choosing to start early at work, instead of going to the gym. I often choose Netflix and Sedecordle instead of reading a book. I sometimes eat cheesebread and fries for dinner, and the list goes on and on.
None of that really makes me a loser. Nothing has the power to, if I don’t let it. It is a matter of choice. Lately, I have been making choices that are not wise, but it feels comfortable. Perhaps that is just a nice way to say I have been lazy lately.
“In the pursuit of perfection, I forgot I was already enough.”
― Caroline George, The Summer We Forgot
And so what? Who says that I have to be always productive and perfect? Here is a newsflash to myself: You are not perfect. Perfection is an illusion. Just aim to be the best human being you can.
I am embracing the fact that it is okay for things not to be okay. It is okay to be off my routine. It is okay to let things go for a little bit; it is okay not to pressure myself to always be doing something.
It is okay not to feel in control at times. It is healthy to realize that streaks end, that sometimes we go off course. It is the perfect time to reassess my priorities. It is the perfect time to do things out of love and want, and not out of the sense of obligation and in search of perfection.
“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.”― Salvador Dali
Sometimes one needs a break, needs to step off the gas pedal. I am yet again choosing to be kind to myself. I am giving myself permission to be less and do less.
I know I will slowly get back to the things that feed my body, mind and soul in a healthy way. I will go back to pursuing interests and passions, instead of coasting.
For now, I breathe. I get work done, deadlines met. I have finished another mosaic, which makes my heart sing (posting it next).
And for another great way to waste my valuable and scarce time, I just signed up for Match.
Because hope never dies.
“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
― Emily Dickinson