Tags
Arepa Mania Restaurant, City Island, Coming back from the past, Dubrovnik Restaurant, Eastchester, New Rochelle NY, NY, open doors and open hearts, Sea Shore Restaurant, Tapas & Cucina Restaurant
“What is past is past. never go back. Not for excuses. Not for justification, not for happiness. You are what you are, the world is what it is.” ― Mario Puzo
I should listen to Mario Puzo. I think you realize by now that I have a problem closing doors. I keep believing in redemption and second chances. Or perhaps I just think that the person will one day realize how amazing I really am. I am getting better though. I am slowly realizing I don’t have to talk to everyone. I don’t have to let everyone back in. I don’t have to be nice to everyone. I don’t have to be friends with everyone.
“Even a spineless arthropod shed what’s no longer useful and leaves it behind them. Are you not greater than they?” ― Jason Versey
I am deciding which online dating site I will be signing for next. It will probably be Match. While I decide and find the time to fill out a profile and upload photos, I have been busy with friends and some guys from the past.
There is this one guy that I don’t remember what name I gave him here. I actually don’t even remember if I wrote about him. Several years ago, we had a late-night date at a diner. Immediately it was friendly and not romantic.
Since then, he will call or text a couple of times a year. There is nothing interesting about his conversations. It is all about him complaining about being busy and gloating about making a lot money. He will always say that we need to get together and that he will call me to schedule. He never does. By now, I don’t even want to be friends anymore.
I have his name on my phone as “Waste of Time”, that should tell you how I feel about his texts and calls. Finally, I got tired and blocked him on Messenger.
The other day he found me on WhatsApp. After exchanging a couple of messages, I blocked him there too. It is the same song and dance. He is not even friend material.
From now on I have to remember to block people on both, Messenger and WhatsApp.
“Memory takes a lot of poetic license. It omits some details; others are exaggerated, according to the emotional value of the articles it touches, for memory is seated predominantly in the heart. The interior is therefore rather dim and poetic.” – Tennessee Williams
Then there is Mr. Stock: https://blessedwithastarontheforehead.wordpress.com/2021/09/10/the-prelude-to-the-unmasking-of-mr-stock/
We had a great time at that dinner over a year ago. I thought that he would ask me out again. He never did. Still, we continued the texting/talking relationship. I was okay with that because we have become good friends.
Last Friday he asked if I wanted to go out to dinner. I was surprised. I like to eat, so I said yes. I don’t mind last minute invitations. If I am free, I go.
We went to Dubrovnik’s in New Rochelle. He drove over 1 hour to take me to dinner. He said that it took him hours to get the courage to ask me out. I found that weird, and told him that. I don’t get what the fear was. Later I understood that he thought this was a date.
During dinner he hinted that he now feels ready for a relationship… with me. I was honest and said: Been there, done that! I told him about B., and how they are similar in the fact that they are both widowers and were not ready to date when we originally met. I told him I am not making that same mistake again.
I also said to him that I believe that if a man really likes a woman, he doesn’t wait 1 year to ask her out on a second date.
He tried to give me all sorts of excuses, but I was not moved. Friendship is the only thing on the table for him.
We continue to be friends.
“There exists in man a mass of sense lying in a dormant state, and which, unless something excites it to action, will descend with him, in that condition, to the grave.” ― Thomas Paine
Another guy, G. from a neighboring town reached out this week on WhatsApp. Are people all of a sudden discovering WhatsApp? He mentioned that we met on OKCupid last year. I was cautious as I didn’t remember anything about him. I asked him if he had changed phone numbers, as he was not on my contacts. He said that he didn’t. I was only able to remember him when he sent me a picture.
I asked why we had stopped communicating and he said that I went to Brazil to visit my parents and never got in touch again. That is very possible.
I went through my records. Yes, I do keep dating records. It does come in handy. On my notes on him, I wrote: “Seems nice, but doesn’t seem to be that interested. Divorce is not final yet.”
On my notes I have a different phone number for him. I will keep that in mind and ask him about it when we meet for coffee on Sunday.
“Potential has a shelf life.” ― Margaret Atwood
On Saturday (Jun11), a friend, my sister and I went to a new Venezuelan restaurant in my town called Arepa Mania. They had live music, and the two singers were great. Do you know when restaurants open too soon, before they are ready? That was the feeling I had. Still, it was good, the owners were very pleasant, the music fun, the food good, but I think they have room for improvement. After, we went for drinks to Modern Restaurant.
On Thursday (Jun14) we went to City Island, NY to Sea Shore restaurant. The views were incredible, the service was great, but the food was just ok. The best for me was the free corn bread that they serve at the beginning.
Last night (Jun15) we took a friend to dinner at Tapas & Cucina in Eastchester, NY. We had the most amazing time. I have enjoyed their food, ambiance and service the past two times I had been there, but this time they added music to it. They had an Italian singer, and it was great. It was her birthday and the singer came and serenated her. She was over the moon.
Yes, I have been busy 🙂
“We don’t know where we’re going, but isn’t is fun to go?” ―
i love your dating notes!~!
Great idea!
💖💖💖
“I went through my records. Yes, I do keep dating records. It does come in handy. On my notes on him, I wrote: “Seems nice, but doesn’t seem to be that interested. Divorce is not final yet.”
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It is necessary lol
Too many potential dates. Too many guys that reach out, get my number and waste my time. My notes help.me not make the ame mistake twice. Well, often they do. Lol
Blessings!
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Hahaha! I can imagine it is.
My son is dating again and it was hysterical. He said “well , first you window shop, then you wait”, then every girl wants to go for dinner, but now I do a walk now first, you have to be rich to date. Some say I’m their profile, don’t split, never pay etc”.
We were in stitches. He hates it. Omg it sounds awful.🤔
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haha, he was talking about me lol I want to go to dinner and I don’t want to pay!!!
Seriously, online dating can be awful but it also has its funny moments. I still believe in it!
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I love that you keep dating notes. 😄👍
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Hi Cassa,
Haha, it so worth for me, since my memory doesn’t help at times.
It has helped me to stay away from some characters that I wasted time on in the past.
Blessings to you!
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💚
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Yes, it’s always fun to go! Trust!! Move forward. There is so much joy out there in front of you!!
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Hi Jan,
Thank you so much for the kind words and support. And also for the reminder that of all that is ahead!
Blessings!
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Tried to comment on your comment on my post and Spa
Ate you-:(
Sorry!!!
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💎 – Diamond Hard – 💎
💎 Arriving Full Circle 🔵 🔴 ✨️ 🙌 👌🏾 😌 🔵 is NOT!!! ALWAYS!!! a Bad 👎🏿 😳 😪 😫 🤧 😔 👎🏿 THING!!! EveryOne; because We Have New Tools 🔧 🙄 😉 😏 🙂 😎 🔧 EveryBody
💎- Diamond Hard – 💎
…💎💎💎…
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Hi Yernasia,
Thank you for the reminder, that by now, in life, I do have new tools.
I am wiser, more experienced and better able to handle what failed me in the past.
Blessings!
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💜 YOU!!! ARE Most Welcome 🙏🏿 🤗 ☺️ 😊 🙂 😀 🙏🏿 ; much appreciated by me are YOUR!!! Very Kind Words
…💛💚💙…
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Thank you for sharing!!.. perhaps you need more nights out with your sister and friends, as long as you enjoy yourself, no stress no expectations, is what matters, even if it is just a greasy hamburger and fries… 🙂
As for the gentlemen, from what you have said, it appears they may interested in only themselves.. perhaps it is time to move on… “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last chapter.” (Author Unknown )… 🙂
Until we meet again..
May your day be touched
by a bit of Irish luck,
Brightened by a song
in your heart,
And warmed by the smiles
of people you love.
(Irish Saying)
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Hi Larry,
“Move on”, such a perfect advice. It makes complete sense, and yet I still struggle with living the past in the past.
I will continue trying not to revisit. But don’t be too disappointed if I fail 😦
Blessings!
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Sometimes we revisit the past for fond memories, sometimes we revisit the past so we don’t make same mistakes in the future.. let the past “help” you to make a better future, not to dictate what the future will be.. 🙂
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I’m still on the fence about the past. Thinking about things, not doing anything.
Let your intuition guide you. 💟
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Hi Claudette,
Thank you for the reminder to listen to my gut. Sometimes I ignore that little all-knowing voice.
Like you, I struggle with the past.
Blessings!
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Onward and upwards, Ana. Enjoy all your delicious meals!
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Always moving!
Too many meals, too little time, and room for them!!
Blessings!
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You’re a busy and interesting woman Ana. And you’ve gone on more dates this year than I have in the last 10! Maybe it’s time I do something about that! 😋
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Hi Brad,
And I feel I haven’t gone on many this year. I believe he is out there and all I need to do is find him or let him find me. To do that I need to be out there.
My advice is to get out there. There are still great people in this world.
Blessings!
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Maybe my more traditional ways are showing with this comment, but these gents reaching out after so much time and zero communication suggests they are operating to their own agenda and with no regard for yours. Perhaps their efforts with other relationships are failing, so for no other motivation they fall back on prior connections (like you). Also, it bothers me they find ways to contact you despite your efforts to block them, as if the passing of time would change your mind. Or maybe it would. Will look forward to hearing your take after the coffee meet-up on Sunday.
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Hi Dave,
Thank you for your insight.
I want to believe that I mattered so much or made such an impression that they couldn’t get me out of their minds. But I know better.
Still I seem to fall for it every time. I am getting better though. Blocking them, now that I realize I need to.block WhatsApp also, works.
I will make sure to report back.
Blessings!
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I use my bobble head. Tap it and if it bobbles at least 3 times, then it’s a date. It’s pure science.
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haha
Can I borrow your bobble head? It would save me a lot time and headache.
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Not to mention its phenomenal accuracy.
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oh, is that so?
I guess I will have to test it out
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You should! Just remember it’s only 7 inches long and quite fragile. The bobblehead.
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oh no worries, he will be in good hands. The bobblehead.
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Well played, well played. 😉
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lol merci, mon ami 🙂
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So the lesson here is that we’re all just better off with friends and family then. 🙂 Just kidding, but I do get your frustration. After my divorce and before I remarried, I did the whole online dating thing and found it to be MISERABLE. Loneliness, I suppose, eventually gravitates one back to it; but the aggravation in those you meet is what makes one run from it. A female co-worker of mine at the time, also single and on those sites, summed it up with: “It’s all just a numbers game,” meaning there are more women than men on them, and the men are dishonest because of that. I hope that’s not true. I’m glad that you found fun with your sister and the friends, though. – Marty
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Hi Marty,
haha, indeed, just stick with friends and family lol (well, they can get exhausting also)
I do get frustrated, but I am an eternal optimist. I believe that there are still good people out there. I also believe that good attracts good, so eventually I will get that great guy!
In the meantime, the not so great guys I meet are just lessons, and they help me realize what I don’t need/want in my life.
Also, there are indeed more women than me out there, but I have quality going for me, or so I like to think 😉
Thank you and blessings to you!
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A good church, Evangelical or R.C., is better than a dating app. Still have to be careful as there are “wolves among the sheep” and they can be as deceptive as any phony dating bio. But the basis of a relationship can be built on getting to know each other within the context of what you believe about God, creation and life, and that’s a lot safer than taking a stab in the dark ethereum. Hoping the best for you and saying a prayer for you today.
c.a.
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Hi,
I agree that there are better places to meet, other than a dating site, such as a church. But churches are not for me, I would feel like a fraud going to church just to meet someone, since I am not religious. I subscribe to the idea that people should do what they love and meet people that way, be it church, bowling, etc. (similar to your idea) But while I am not meeting anyone in the places that I attend I like the dating sites. I believe in God, and I am very spiritual and look for similar people in and out of dating sites.
Thank you so much for your insight, and most specially for the prayer!! Blessings to you!
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A meme I have shows a man telling a woman, “Hey, I am spiritual.” She wisely replies, “You will have to be more specific; demons are spirits, too!” 😊. Just sayin’.
So be careful.
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hahaha
always careful!!
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