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Cafetero in New Rochelle, coffee shops, nice just nice, no sparks or hints of spark, only as friendship and not romance
“Some moments are nice, some are
nicer, some are even worth writing about.”
― Charles Bukowski, War All the Time
On Sunday morning, I was helping my sister organize some stuff and lost track of time. All of a sudden, I realized it was a quarter to 11. My date was at 11am.
It was a mad rush. I took a shower, washed my hair, got dressed and was there at 11:00am. Luckly, the coffee shop was just around the corner from my apartment. I had wet hair, but I was on time. By the way, being able to get ready in minutes is one of my claims to fame.
As I was approaching the coffee shop, I saw him across the street reading a parking sign. I crossed and met him there. I cannot remember if we hugged hello or not. He looked like his picture, but was taller than I expected. He is 6’4, and had some type of hiking shoes that added even more height. He had beautiful blue eyes.
We walked into this new coffee shop called Cafetero in New Rochelle. I ordered an oat milk mocha latte and he ordered cappuccino. We were lucky to get the last table available. We set down and there were no awkward pauses or any silence. We both like to talk and took turns interrupting each other.
“Always just pleasant. Never overexcited. Never, in fact, excited at all. Just pleasant, which is simply another word for nice.” ― Cecelia Ahern, Thanks for the Memories
I was able to learn a little about his life. He lived overseas for a while. Has two kids. He has been separated and out of the marital home for over 3 years, but he is still not divorced as they continue to battle over the assets. He has a court date coming up and thinks that all will be resolved by then.
After one hour of conversation, I decided that it was time to go. One hour seems like a good time for coffee only. Had we gotten something to eat, perhaps I would have stayed longer.
Looking back, perhaps I was too abrupt in cutting the date short. But we are both the type of people that can talk forever. It seemed that we were always in the middle of some conversation and there was no opening to say goodbye. So, it had to be abrupt.
The bottom line is that I found him handsome, personable and smart. But that was it. Do I need more? Yes, I do! I need sparks, or at least hints of it. There was none. I think we would make good friends.
I got home and texted him saying it was nice meeting him. He replied agreeing he had a nice time. He hasn’t reached out again. I don’t expect him to, but if he does I would go out again as friends.
“In youth, it was a way I had,
To do my best to please.
And change, with every passing lad
To suit his theories.
But now I know the things I know
And do the things I do,
And if you do not like me so,
To hell, my love, with you.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Complete Poems of Dorothy Parker
I just had a coffee date with a similar outcome, nice, but no flames for either of us
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Next!! We got to keep going. One of these days we both will be engulfed in flames… not that fiery kind lol
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Fingers crossed 🤞
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glad you both had fun, but sorry there was no spark! At least you might be able to remain friends, in the future!
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Hi Carol,
I am definitely open to friendship, but I think he is not. Either romance or nothing.
Thank you and blessings!
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I think you did the right thing. I don’t believe in rushing into relationships. I was on my own with a young son when I was in my late thirties. My first marriage had broken down after sixteen years and I had to return to full-time work. Living in England I could have sat on benefits but I didn’t want to as I felt it wasn’t setting a good example to my five year old son. At weekend when my son was with his father, I decided I would be nice to find someone who shared the same interest as me. When married I would support my ex in his interests but when it came to mine he had no interest at all. My first ‘date’ went well. We visited an art gallery in London, chatted easily etc. Then he invited me to meet his friends for a meal… his friends vetted me for my suitability. I felt this wasn’t a good thing and didn’t endear me to someone who couldn’t make up their own mind. The next guy was obsessed with turning forty. He was desperately turning to turn the clock back. He was fine chatting on the phone until he arrived at my home and turned into a different person. It made me check for annoying little habits. I asked myself could I live with such a person day in and out.
At work, a friend I was slowly getting to know, who always had a bright smile and a cheery word first thing in the morning said ‘How was your ‘date’ this weekend.
‘Awful, It makes me quite depressed. They aren’t looking for long-term relationships. I have to put my son first. I don’t want men walking in and out of his life and I’m not looking for a father for my child either. Just a kind man who will be there for us both.
The outcome was the guy who sat at my lunchtime table for over a year became my son’s best man at his wedding. My son said My step-dad has always been there for me. More than my own father. He’s the best man in my life.
We have been together over 25 years and he’s supported me in all my interests as I have him. Our relationship is build on trust and respect for one other. It took me a long time to trust my second husband after the break down of my first marriage but he had the patients and understanding. I wish you all the very best. We do get a second bit of true love, but we just have to be patient and not rust into anything without really making sure they are the right person.
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Hi Paula,
Thank you so much for sharing your story!
It is so glad to see that there is still men out there that are patient and understanding.
What a blessing that you found a man that has been there for you and your son! And he was right there next to you waiting to be discovered.
I have rushed in the past and the outcome was not good. Now I take my time and if they are in a hurry, then they are not for me.
For now I do a date here and there, but I know there is someone out there for me. It is just a matter of time.
Blessings to you!
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This Dorothy Parker is wise!
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Indeed! my kind of poetry!!
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Thank you for sharing!!.. glad you had a pleasant coffee date in spite of the circumstances… with his divorce being messy, probably a good thing the two of you parted ways… especially if you do not know what the divorce is about as looks can be deceiving…. 🙂
“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever “ (C. JoyBell C._… 🙂
Until we meet again..
May your day be touched
by a bit of Irish luck,
Brightened by a song
in your heart,
And warmed by the smiles
of people you love.
(Irish Saying)
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Hi Larry,
My thoughts exactly (best to stay from messy divorces).
The coffee, the place and the conversation was good and sometimes that is all it is!
Thank you for the kindness, and wishing you a blessed weekend!
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A lovely date it sounds Ana Star sparks or no sparks which is refreshing.
I’m so with you here:
“By the way, being able to get ready in minutes is one of my claims to fame.”
😂 My claim to fame too.
Love the poem.!
Fun to hear my son talking about online dating since he and Kristal have broken up which I’m sad about but … it’s good for them for now.
He said it’s like window shopping and such a job. I told him about some of your fun stories.
💖💖
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Hi Cindy,
With you new fabulous closet it will be hard to get ready in minutes. It seems it will be the type of place to have a seat and sip wine for hours. My dream closet will have a chandelier and a couch!
Sometimes a break is good to realize that the person you just broke up with it is the person you really want. My advice, just don’t get back together out of loneliness and comfort.
Sometimes dating does feel like a job and hard work, but anything worth having is worth working hard for. There are no rewards without sacrifice.
Blessings to you and best of luck to your son on his dating adventures!
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You know funny think is, there is no room for even a center island in there.. maybe a small chair or something. So weird that it would even need to be bigger. Plus I don’t really go anywhere anymore but I’m ready with too many clothes if I do 😂!
I have purged but obvi not enough. Oh I like your style with the chandelier! I opted for a skylight. It’s supposed to have us protection. Let’s hope the clothes don’t fade. Lol 😂
I so agree with you; break ups are important to really figure out what is going on and what part you have played as well. I have to learn not to get attached like I do!
It is a lot of work alright. I like the old days when we just meant people organically-:(
💕💕💕
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oh wait, only room for a chair? I thought you had invited me to stay in there when I show up for a visit.
The clothes will definitely fade if there is sun hitting them the whole day, but I do love the skylight!
For some reason I find that people are too afraid to approach each other organically. Fear of rejection perhaps, so on a dating site it is assumed you are looking to date.
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😂😂😂 i KNOW! i think there’s room for a mini something.. i’ll fit you in somewhere don’t worry.
I know that’s true.. supposedly uv protection? It does make me a bit nervous tho. I best check in again and might have to replace with a chandelier.. ha!
I know that is so true these days.. lots has changed. 💖 for better or worse I don’t know. 💖
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You need sparks to start a fire. 🙂 – Marty
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hahaha Absolutely!
Forever in search of sparks.
Blessings to you Marty!
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You’re an oat milk fan, eh Ana? I tried it once but the taste was too strong, almost stronger than the coffee itself. I’ll stick with the nut varieties instead 🙂
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Hi Dave,
I really love cow’s milk, but cow’s milk doesn’t love me, so I had to look for alternatives. I started drinking almond milk, but once I tried oat, I find it much better. I like the Elmhurst Oat Creamer for my coffee. Almond was too nutty for me 🙂
Wishing you a blessed day!
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Wow, you showered, washed your hair, got dressed in less than 15 minutes? Amazing. 🙂
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lol, I think so 🙂
One of my superpowers!! lol
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