Author Archives: A Star on the Forehead

So far e-Harmony sucks!!!

14 Monday May 2012

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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I joined e-Harmony last month in an effort to move on. I have to be honest and say that I am not expecting to find the love of my life there, but if I did would be amazing!

I am expecting and hoping to find some good dates, friends, entertainment, something to keep my mind off of you know who.

But so far, it has been a disappointment.

Perhaps I just think too highly of myself.  I thought that I would put up my profile on e-Harmony and men would just be all over it.  I thought I was going to have to hire someone to just deal with all the dates. ok, ok, I am just kidding, but I did think I would have several suitors.

I was in for a rude awakening! I have been contacted by a total of 5 men.

One we e-mail every now and then and will eventually meet, but I am not having any expectations, as it is he is very busy and meeting other women.

Another 2 we are still on the initial questions and answers stage – and they are taking way too long to get that done, so it seems they are not that interested, which begs the question, why contact me then?

Finally there were 2 that seemed promising. After the initial back and forth questions/answers stage we graduated to e-mails.  They both sent me long e-mails with a lot of information on them, which I took as a good sign.  They seemed thought and honest and genuinely interested.  After all, who is going to send you long e-mails with lots of information if they are not interested?

So after I replied and we exchanged a couple of more e-mails they both came and said, and I am copying and pasting their replies:

Guy #1: “Sorry for the delayed response.  I had some traveling to do, but more importantly, I met someone on eH and we have decided to be exclusive as opposed to continue dating people.  Personally, I am also more of a one girl dating kind of guy and not dating many simultaneously… so I can keep my mind clutter free :)”

Guy #2: “Like I said, I’m big on open and honest dialogue and to be fair to you, I’ve just started dating someone seriously and thus it wouldn’t be fair to you or I for us to continue communicating right now. I wish you nothing but continued success in both life and in finding your life partner. Who knows, maybe our paths will cross again some day. Take care. ”

Why contact me to begin with if they were already seeing someone?  I don’t get it.

Perhaps it is me!

Perhaps I need to take professional photos.  I have pictures that show me as I am natural and doing stuff I enjoy, skiing, traveling.  I figure men would appreciate the real me, but I guess not. Perhaps I need to have some glamour pictures done, with hair and face completely done for a night out on the town.

I know it has been only 1 month but I feel totally discouraged and will probably not continue with e-Harmony after the 3 months that I signed up for are finished (I checked, I cannot discontinue now).

Perhaps the best thing to do is forget about that for awhile and continue just focusing on me. And on finding single girlfriends that are not too busy to go out.

If it is meant to be, love will find me.

Plus I believe in Divine Timing.  When the time is right it will happen.

Any advice?

Your love is not worth 1.99

13 Sunday May 2012

Posted by in Daily Life, EX Files

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In talking to my mom today, she really wanted me to hear the words to a song that is very popular in Brazil right now.

The song is theme for one of the new soap operas.  Soap opera in Brazil are huge.  They are shown on prime time tv and the majority of the population stop what they are doing to watch it.  It dictates fashion and other cultures.

Anyway, I couldn’t resist, I had to to post the song, and here it is, please forgive my loose translation, but I think you will get the point.

Ex My love (the actual name, not translated)
Gaby Amarantos

My love was real
yours was pirated
My love was made of gold
yours of a piece of tin

My love was river
and yours couldn’t even form a thin cascade
My love had pedigree
yours was simply a mutt

Ex my love, ex my love, if I put your love on the window
it will not be worth 1.99


Meu amor era verdadeiro,
O teu era pirata
O meu amor era ouro
E o teu não passava de um pedaço de lata

Meu amor era rio
E o teu não formava uma fina cascata
Meu amor era de raça
E o teu simplesmente um vira-lata

Ex my love, ex my love, se botar teu amor na vitrine,
nem vai valer 1,99
Ex my love, ex my love, se botar teu amor na vitrine,
nem vai valer 1,99

***

I couldn’t have said it better!!! lol

Enjoy your Sunday everyone, Pilates here I come!!!

Mom I am you!

13 Sunday May 2012

Posted by in Daily Life, Poetry

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Mom

You annoy me sometimes

When I was 17 and you read my diary
I threw it out and it would be years until I wrote again

and every time that you don’t suggest
but tells me what to do
I shrink and feel like I am 5

You have annoyed me many times
and for many reasons

Still I must remember
that everything is done out of love
and from not knowing any better

You are the one I still want to impress
You are the one I want to talk to when I am not well
even though I will say everything is fine not to worry you
and everything is indeed better the moment I hear your voice

Your love is immense
Your compassion infinite
Your energy boundless
your talent unparalleled

You brave, corageous soul
You determined, righteous individual

You are in my corner
and inside my heart

Your suffering is my suffering
Your happines my happiness

‘I love you’ should just flow out of my mouth
and yet it doesn’t

So easy to say thank you
but how often do I say it?

You mean the world to me
and my world is you

and the most annoying thing about you
and the best thing about me

is:

I became you!

Too many vegetables

12 Saturday May 2012

Posted by in Daily Life, Food

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This morning I opened my fridge to find that I have probably over $100.00 worth of vegetables that were on the verge of going bad. Yes, I have been opening my fridge the whole week but for some reason it didn’t register it until this morning. .

Last weekend I went to the supermarket and in a second of momentary insanity I started loading the cart like I had to feed a family of 5.

So this morning I had no choice but to cook as much as I could. There is no way I am going to let anything go to waste, let alone food.

So I cooked the following:

Cabbage- sauted with onions and peppers.

Brussels sprouts – steamed them, later will saute with garlic.

Asparagus – sames as above.

Broccoli – steamed – will have some with pasta and sun dried tomatoes.

Corn – will cut and have it with salads.

Spinach – washed and got it ready.  I will have some in salads and omelets

Arugula – Same as with spinach.  I will have it in salads in omelets.

This entire week I will be taking lunch for me and assistant.

The problem with overbuying perishables is that, not only some always end up being wasted, but you are stuck knowing what you will be eating the whole week.  For some people that is fine, but for me I like to have a couple of days unplanned, to go out or to eat whatever I am in the mood for.

But, with that being said, I definitely need to learn to go shopping with a list and not stray from it.  When I was part of a couple it wasn’t too bad. We managed to eat all the food I bought (2 people taking lunch to work every day), but single me needs to make a list and follow it.

Do you plan ahead your menu for the whole week?  Do you follow it?

 

No to you and yes to me!

12 Saturday May 2012

Posted by in EX Files, Finding Me, Poetry

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It feels good saying no

and for the first time meaning it

not having even a second of doubt

 

Your invitation is insulting

it says nothing is changed

when nothing is the same

 

it feels good saying no

when just a week ago I would have said yes

It feels good saying no to you

and saying yes to me

 

when I said no to you, I said yes to:

Do I deserve honesty?

Do I deserve respect?

Do I deserve loyalty?

Do I value me?

Yes, yes, yes and yes

 

When I said no to you.

I said yes to me!!

Let me be

11 Friday May 2012

Posted by in EX Files, Poetry

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Please Let me be

Don’t call

Don’t text

Don’t e-mail

Don’t mention my name

Don’t think of me

 

Let me be

Let me do what I am doing

Let me take one day at a time

Let me pickup the pieces I am in

Let me try to be whole again

 

Right now the past still haunts

And the future is taking too long

Right now I cry and laugh

not knowing there is a difference

 

My soul still breaks

Hope tries to peek through

At the sight and thought of your name

My heart stubbornly thinks ‘what if’

 

But since you don’t want me

Please have pity on this old soul

If you don’t want me

Please let me be!

Flowers to Moms!

11 Friday May 2012

Posted by in Daily Life, EX Files

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So, Mother’s Day is around the corner and even though we should honor our mother’s every single day, Sunday is a day that we must make sure to be extra special for them.

My sister is in charge of getting my mom flowers.  My mom is in Brazil now with the rest of my family, so that means that my sister is on duty as far as making the day special for our mom.  Thanks Heaven for my sister!

Now comes the issue of my Ex-mom-in-law. I love her like a mom and it is not because her son and I are no longer together that all of a sudden my love for her disappeared.  So after pondering the entire last night, I decided to go ahead and send her flowers like I used to do every year.

Once I made the decision to send the flowers – and I was so happy that my sister agreed with me completely, I am at peace!  Love wins again!

To all mom’s have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

Am I becoming a prude?

10 Thursday May 2012

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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So I have this male friend that we exchange e-mails weekly, sometimes daily.  He is younger than I am and we used to go dancing together (we met at a dance club) and yes we kind of had a brief thing at that point.  But that has been long in the past, almost 10 years ago.

We have not seen each other since then.  We have spoken on the phone and lately just e-mails.

He is now married with a kid. We talk about work and goals.  We do reminisce about the past every now and then when we talk about some song we used to dance to, but to me, not to go there again, but just for what it was: a good time.

So yesterday he mentioned that came to NY City last week to go to a game, and that he stopped at a pub and had some drinks.

I wrote half jokingly that I was hurt that he wouldn’t say anything to me or invite me to a drink.  So he replied and I quote:

“Hurt?  I apologize 1000 times, but I wasn’t exactly going there by myself.  I had 2 other guys with me.  Had I been by myself, you’d have been my first call.  ;)”

What? I am thinking as I read it. What does that mean?  Am I a friend that needs to be kept hidden? What are really your intentions then if we ever meet again?

I then wrote to him that I didn’t think that meeting would be a great idea anyway.

He asked me to explain that, to which I answered:

Well, if I cannot meet you while you are with friends, it feels like we would be hiding.  And I want to lead a transparent life.

I guess I officially became a goody two-shoes prude! I just don’t want to have a friend that cannot tell his wife that he has a female friend.  And moreover I don’t want to cause any conflict in anyone’s marriage.  Am I over-thinking this?

It seems that another, so thought of as friend, bites the dust!

Oh well, I do need to make new friends, and ones with no ulterior motives.

I choose mice!!!

09 Wednesday May 2012

Posted by in Daily Life

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As I have mentioned in my other blog post today (http://listuniverse.wordpress.com/) , we have started receiving some unwanted guests in our offices: mice.

My boss and fellow partner in this business has been floating the idea of a cat.  Which I thought he was joking, after all, how can we keep a cat in the office? Who is going to clean the cat litter? Who is taking it home on weekends?

And I guess having caught another one in a trap really got him going on his idea. So I guess he decided to take action.

He walked into my office and said: “I was looking for a cat to come in every day but I couldn’t find one.”

I am like, humm, ok, who is going to take care of this cat if you find it anyway?

Ignoring my question, he continues:

“I found a python!’

What? You want to bring a snake to get rid of the mice?  If that is the case than you will be successful in getting rid of me, or I will be forever working from home.

And I kept going pointing it out how I would not share space with a snake in a million years.

In seeing the state of hysterics I was in, he said:

“ok, ok, relax.  I am not doing anything yet.  I am checking with you first.  I would never bring one in without checking with you first. Don’t worry I am not getting one.”

Now, please forgive me if you are a snake lover, but fear of snakes is at the top of my lists of fears!

So in this case, if I have to choose between a snake or mice, please send in the mice!!!

Which one would you choose?

Good Bye Ex-Mom-in-Law!

08 Tuesday May 2012

Posted by in EX Files

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So Ex’s mother is leaving tomorrow.  I didn’t feel comfortable calling her – not even sure why, as I just saw her on Saturday and had a great time together, so I just e-mailed wishing her a safe trip.

When she arrived here 3 weeks ago, she was under the impression that all was fine that Ex and I were still together even though I had moved.  She was under that impression because he said that to her.

I have no idea why he would mislead her this way. But one day 2 weeks ago I made to sure to let her know some of what went on.

I don’t expect her to believe everything I said.  I know how most mothers are with their sons.  My mother is the same way with my brother.  They put them in a pedestal and refuse to believe anything else.

But anyway, it just pains me to have the relationship I had with her change.  I love her and treated her the same as I treat my mother – with respect and kindness.  When she arrived she was talking about my spending a weekend in June with her for a girl’s weekend. She hasn’t said anything now.  I also didn’t bring it up.

Ex is bound to be introducing her to a new girlfriend – if he didn’t already do so. So,I think it is unfair of me to try to still be in her life.  Nothing has changed as far as my love for her, but as I am learning, sometimes you have to learn to love from afar.

I guess this is a great chance for learning. Learn to detach from things and people.