I just had a Mc Donald’s Filet-o-Fish. The last time I had one was probably 20 years ago, with the exception being some fish nuggets I had tried in February at the airport in Denver. A friend was buying an apple pie and I was intrigued by the poster of the fish nuggets. How bad could it be? It was awful. I should know better than to become intrigued by an item in the McDonald’s menu.
I am not a fast food eater. It is not what comes to mind when I am hungry. I normally cook all my meals, and if like treating myself I normally gravitate towards sugar, like cakes and cookies.
I am also somewhat proud to say that I never had a McDonalds burger. First it doesn’t look like meat. Second, if I feel like eating a burger, Mcds is the last place I would turn to.
With all that being said, the Filet-o-Fish tasted great. Perhaps it helped that I was starving. I plan on making my own fish sandwich one of these days. I think it will taste awesome. The other day I made fried tilapia for a friend and she said it was the best she ever had.
In Brazil we say: A melhor comida ‘e a fome! (The best food is hunger) Indeed! Indeed!
I realize my diet could use some improving. I eat what I want when I want, and most often I have sugar in some way shape or form on a daily basis (not proud of that fact). I do happen to love most vegetables so I will have tons of those. But I tend to eat the same ones over and over again.
I have always wanted a juicer. I figure is a great way to get the nutrients found in some vegetables I rarely eat such as carrots, beets, celery, watercress, aloe vera (is aloe vera a vegetable?). I know that with juicing I will not get fibers but I don’t worry about that as I eat enough fiber already.
Now that I have my juicer I am having fun coming up with different juices. Some are easier to stomach than others, but I am making an effort. I attempted to make the famous green juice and after drinking 2 cups realized why it tasted awful, I had forgotten 2 ingredients: green apple and mint, the 2 that would make it sweeter and easier to drink. The other day I made an amazing pineapple and mint juice.
I am now in search of recipes that will make me look younger, firm up my skin and make my metabolism speed up, miracle juices so to speak 🙂 Do you know any?
The cons of having a juicer: it takes a lot of my limited counter space, the cleanup is a pain and I can’t really store juices.
Confession: I already find myself too lazy to use the juicer some times. But I will persevere.
I have been silent – here! In non-virtual life I still talk too much, volunteer and share too much! 🙂 I guess hurting over still loving Ex was providing me with the inspiration/motivation to write. Once love turned to anger and now to plain nothingness the urge and need to write or I will explode is no longer here.
I still love the written word and wish to find the motivation from within and from daily life to continue blogging.
I lurk around some of my favorite blogs but can’t even seem to muster motivation to comment or even like, perhaps I have been trying to disappear?? At moments like this I wish I had a therapist on speed dial that I could call and ask!
Here is a quick update of my life:
Mom is in town visiting from Brazil, so my routine has been totally changed. I am exercising less and eating more, which as everyone knows it is not a great combination!! Mom believes that food is love, so rejecting her food is the same as rejecting her love. As the good daughter that I am I just eat and say how good everything is!
We have already spent a weekend at Mohegan Sun and Foxwoods Casinos in CT. We didn’t lose too much so that to me is winning! We have already done more shopping than will fit in her luggage. And somehow any time I take her shopping I end up buying more than she does. A Broadway show and The Museum of Natural History will be next!
The Ex got wind that my mother is in town and has e-mailed me to take us out to dinner. I have continued to remain silent and ignore it. Still it is annoying the fact that he thinks all is fine enough to go out and have dinner together! Clueless!
Work is work. No challenges and mysteries any more. Too predictable at times, it can be boring but there is some comfort in the same old same old.
I continue to do Pilates twice a week and still adore it, even though some times in the middle of an exercise I feel more like crying and giving up. I continue to hit tennis balls against a wall and take lessons every now and then as weather and my instructor’s schedule permits.
I have not returned to Zumba, for now I do it at home. I turn on youtube, put on my favorite short shorts and just dance like a wild woman in my living room. I make sure to close the curtains as not to scare any of my neighbors.
My mosaic project is still in the middle and my French has also stalled. Will go back to it, but lately not much into forcing myself to do anything I don’t want to! 🙂
I have been seeing a much younger man. I don’t want to call it dating; in fact I am not sure what to call it. Yes I know all that is wrong with it! I am taking it one day at a time and trying not to think too much about it or make too many plans. I like spending time with him and for now that is enough for me. I am living the right now and allowing myself not to think of the future. I know it will not last forever – nothing does!!
I may wake up tomorrow and decide that I want a commitment, but for now dinners out and movie nights are exactly what the doctor ordered.
The 101st post should symbolize the beginning of a new and better chapter. But as someone once said: “the more things change the more they remain the same”.
All of a sudden it seems I am back to trying to forget a love, a love so deep that it seems more like a need, like water and air. It seems life won’t be the same without it. At least not as sweet.
I haven’t really realized the dis-functionality of my relationship with sugar until recently. I have always known I have a sweet tooth, but lately it is out of control. I am sitting in the train on the way home from work and I just inhaled a lemon square bar before the train even leaves the station. And that is after having a cupcake at work. No, not any little cupcake, Crumbs cupcake, which is probably 1,000 calories each!
Did I need that? Was I hungry? Do I really love lemon squares? No, no and no! I didn’t need it and I was not hungry. I wouldn’t give a lemon square a second look were not for the fact that I quit chocolate months ago. Since giving up chocolate I have learned to eat sweets I have never touched before, such as gummy bears and peanut butter. All of a sudden I don’t discriminate, all sugars are welcome. I am not proud of that! I know very well that I am replacing one addiction with another.
How do I feel now? Certainly not happy! The happy feeling disappeared almost as immediately as the lemon square did. I feel lousy and nauseous! I think it is high time that I face the fact that I am addicted to sugar!
That makes it clear that I have some will power – chocolate is absolutely my favorite food in the world. Quitting sugar, however, even if only for a day, is not that simple. Sugar is a too broad a category to quit.
The past 8 months without chocolate hasn’t been that easy, but it hasn’t been that terrible either, except for this week. This week all I think about from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed is chocolate and sweets. Some of my friends asked me if I am about to get my period. No, I am not! I cannot use that excuse! Then another very smart friend said: you are missing F (F is for friend, the new friend that populates my imagination and heart. The friend that tucks me in bed every night with his voice). I think she has a point!
I haven’t been able to talk to my friend every night and I miss him. I miss the joy that his voice brings me. I have been suffering best friend withdrawal.
Gosh, what does that say about me? My need to always have comfort and joy. Am I a needy hedonist? Am I trying to silence some emotional need with sugar and people?
I had promised myself that next time I had a huge craving for sugar I would stop and take a few deep breaths, say a prayer, meditate, anything that would make me stop and think. Did I do that? NO. I didn’t think of it. There appears to be no time between the want and the action.
Well, if it is any consolation I am happy I didn’t eat the other lemon square. Yes, I bought two!! I am also happy that, unlike in the past, I am not considering that the day is over and now making a mental list of what else bad I can eat. Yes I am going to give myself credit for that. I am going to be nice and forgive myself whenever I can, that is my new attitude.
I also don’t want to think of food as bad and good, that will just make me crave the forbidden ones. I don’t want to make sugar the bad guy. I like sugar too much for that!
Now I crave salt, perhaps to counter balance the sweetness of the lemon square. I am sitting next to a huge guy, eating a huge bag of popcorn, the smell is killing me. I am dying for some. I want to just snag the bag from him. He is clearly on the way to eating the whole bag and he certainly doesn’t need to eat the whole bag, he can barely fit in the seat. Stop! Stop! Stop judging people, I tell myself! You don’t know what his issues are. Focus on your own issues and let others be!
After I scold myself, I let go of the thoughts of popcorn and try to focus on the whys of my sugar needs.
Perhaps I can blame my sugar obsession on my parents. Every time my sister and I cried we had a pacifier coated with sugar placed into our mouths. So, the association of sugar and love goes way back. But I am choosing a life of no blame, more acceptance and gratitude. My parents did the best they could with the tools they had. I owe my parents respect and gratitude, and I treat them as best as I can. Plus I am not a baby anymore, I am in charge of what goes into my mouth.
Following that same thought, it is not my friend’s absence’s fault either. After all, my friend is in my heart and mind and with me the whole time. Anytime I miss him all I have to do is close my eyes and I can hear him saying my name.
I think that the main problem is not wanting to let go of something that makes me feel good and has been bringing me comfort and joy forever. Sugar is part of every celebration. I turn to sugar when I am happy or sad, anxious or calm, run down or full of energy. Sugar is the best friend that is always there!
I don’t want to be enemies with sugar. I want to be friends with it and be able to have it any time I want it, but in small quantities. Is sugar my new ex-boyfriend? It is being bad to me and I am still holding on to it. The relationship is not longer working and yet I keep looking the other way. Can I be friends with sugar or, similar to Ex, I have to just cut it from my life until I am strong enough to deal with it in a healthy manner?
I cannot imagine a sugarless life! I don’t want to imagine it! And don’t even mention getting my sugar from fruit! When I want sugar I can eat a ton of fruit and I still want candy, cakes, ice cream.
The crux of the matter perhaps is some deep emotional issue. Am I trying to hide some pain? Am I trying to fill some need? It is scary to think that I may have some deep emotional issue that I am not aware of.
But perhaps the issue is nothing deep or emotional, perhaps it is just some chemical imbalance. There are too many variables. I know I have to do some thing, but not sure what and I don’t plan on going crazy and fanatical about it. Going crazy about it is the easiest way to have it backfire and make me crave sugar even more.
I am glad that I have already scheduled a complete physical on Tuesday. I am looking forward to making sure that the levels of my cholesterol, triglycerides, and all other tests they will perform are normal. I plan on learning more about nutrition, perhaps even visit a nutritionist. I also need to get back to keeping a food journal. I just need to stop planning and talking about and just do it!
The time is now!
I am always positive and optimistic. I am happy that I have come to the realization that an action is necessary. After all recognizing there is a problem is the first step. To me writing about is the second, and hopefully action is the third!
I would appreciate hearing from anyone that has or had to deal with a sugar addiction, or any kind of addiction for that matter. Perhaps with everyone’s input I can come up with a list of tips on handling cravings.
Now, once I have the sugar thing nipped in the bud, I am moving on to bread and butter …
But on a second thought, I never smoked or did drugs, rarely drink or gamble, enjoy sex as much as the next person, do I really need to give up sugar?
This morning I opened my fridge to find that I have probably over $100.00 worth of vegetables that were on the verge of going bad. Yes, I have been opening my fridge the whole week but for some reason it didn’t register it until this morning. .
Last weekend I went to the supermarket and in a second of momentary insanity I started loading the cart like I had to feed a family of 5.
So this morning I had no choice but to cook as much as I could. There is no way I am going to let anything go to waste, let alone food.
So I cooked the following:
Cabbage- sauted with onions and peppers.
Brussels sprouts – steamed them, later will saute with garlic.
Asparagus – sames as above.
Broccoli – steamed – will have some with pasta and sun dried tomatoes.
Corn – will cut and have it with salads.
Spinach – washed and got it ready. I will have some in salads and omelets
Arugula – Same as with spinach. I will have it in salads in omelets.
This entire week I will be taking lunch for me and assistant.
The problem with overbuying perishables is that, not only some always end up being wasted, but you are stuck knowing what you will be eating the whole week. For some people that is fine, but for me I like to have a couple of days unplanned, to go out or to eat whatever I am in the mood for.
But, with that being said, I definitely need to learn to go shopping with a list and not stray from it. When I was part of a couple it wasn’t too bad. We managed to eat all the food I bought (2 people taking lunch to work every day), but single me needs to make a list and follow it.
Do you plan ahead your menu for the whole week? Do you follow it?