I have been silent – here! In non-virtual life I still talk too much, volunteer and share too much! 🙂 I guess hurting over still loving Ex was providing me with the inspiration/motivation to write. Once love turned to anger and now to plain nothingness the urge and need to write or I will explode is no longer here.
I still love the written word and wish to find the motivation from within and from daily life to continue blogging.
I lurk around some of my favorite blogs but can’t even seem to muster motivation to comment or even like, perhaps I have been trying to disappear?? At moments like this I wish I had a therapist on speed dial that I could call and ask!
Here is a quick update of my life:
Mom is in town visiting from Brazil, so my routine has been totally changed. I am exercising less and eating more, which as everyone knows it is not a great combination!! Mom believes that food is love, so rejecting her food is the same as rejecting her love. As the good daughter that I am I just eat and say how good everything is!
We have already spent a weekend at Mohegan Sun and Foxwoods Casinos in CT. We didn’t lose too much so that to me is winning! We have already done more shopping than will fit in her luggage. And somehow any time I take her shopping I end up buying more than she does. A Broadway show and The Museum of Natural History will be next!
The Ex got wind that my mother is in town and has e-mailed me to take us out to dinner. I have continued to remain silent and ignore it. Still it is annoying the fact that he thinks all is fine enough to go out and have dinner together! Clueless!
Work is work. No challenges and mysteries any more. Too predictable at times, it can be boring but there is some comfort in the same old same old.
I continue to do Pilates twice a week and still adore it, even though some times in the middle of an exercise I feel more like crying and giving up. I continue to hit tennis balls against a wall and take lessons every now and then as weather and my instructor’s schedule permits.
I have not returned to Zumba, for now I do it at home. I turn on youtube, put on my favorite short shorts and just dance like a wild woman in my living room. I make sure to close the curtains as not to scare any of my neighbors.
My mosaic project is still in the middle and my French has also stalled. Will go back to it, but lately not much into forcing myself to do anything I don’t want to! 🙂
I have been seeing a much younger man. I don’t want to call it dating; in fact I am not sure what to call it. Yes I know all that is wrong with it! I am taking it one day at a time and trying not to think too much about it or make too many plans. I like spending time with him and for now that is enough for me. I am living the right now and allowing myself not to think of the future. I know it will not last forever – nothing does!!
I may wake up tomorrow and decide that I want a commitment, but for now dinners out and movie nights are exactly what the doctor ordered.