So I have this male friend that we exchange e-mails weekly, sometimes daily. He is younger than I am and we used to go dancing together (we met at a dance club) and yes we kind of had a brief thing at that point. But that has been long in the past, almost 10 years ago.
We have not seen each other since then. We have spoken on the phone and lately just e-mails.
He is now married with a kid. We talk about work and goals. We do reminisce about the past every now and then when we talk about some song we used to dance to, but to me, not to go there again, but just for what it was: a good time.
So yesterday he mentioned that came to NY City last week to go to a game, and that he stopped at a pub and had some drinks.
I wrote half jokingly that I was hurt that he wouldn’t say anything to me or invite me to a drink. So he replied and I quote:
“Hurt? I apologize 1000 times, but I wasn’t exactly going there by myself. I had 2 other guys with me. Had I been by myself, you’d have been my first call. ;)”
What? I am thinking as I read it. What does that mean? Am I a friend that needs to be kept hidden? What are really your intentions then if we ever meet again?
I then wrote to him that I didn’t think that meeting would be a great idea anyway.
He asked me to explain that, to which I answered:
Well, if I cannot meet you while you are with friends, it feels like we would be hiding. And I want to lead a transparent life.
I guess I officially became a goody two-shoes prude! I just don’t want to have a friend that cannot tell his wife that he has a female friend. And moreover I don’t want to cause any conflict in anyone’s marriage. Am I over-thinking this?
It seems that another, so thought of as friend, bites the dust!
Oh well, I do need to make new friends, and ones with no ulterior motives.