friendships, lessons, past, trust, Value
The tumultuous day I had yesterday got me thinking (yes I do that some times! – whenever I am not too busy watching tv or eating – just kidding)
I realized that perhaps I am not as good a judge of character as I thought I was, or perhaps I am becoming naive in my old age. And of course, I learned that appearances can be deceiving.
People that I thought were friends treated me in a less than friendly way. People that I thought had great morals turned out to be a little flexible with their morals.
In the space of 2 weeks I have 3 less friends/acquaintances/contacts:
The ex-client V. (see my post: When you think you have a friend … May 7, 12) – that kept trying to chat about sex when I expressly said I was not interested in that kind of talk, and then just logged off and I never heard from him again. I see now the value of my friendship to him. For the record nothing wrong with harmless sexy chatting, but he is married and I don’t want to cross that line.
The ex-dancing buddy B. (see my post Am I becoming a prude? May 10, 12) – the one that wanted to keep me hidden, see me when his friends were not around and of course, I am sure, he would not ever mention to his wife about a female friend. We still exchange e-mails but it is not the same.
And then yesterday the train buddy (see my post My day destroyed with 1 phone call! May 19, 12) – that I thought was such a great man and could have been more than a friend turned out to be a disappointment. He later told me that the woman that called me yesterday was a married woman that he had had an affair with (probably while having other girlfriends) and she was having trouble accepting the break up.
I realized that what they have in common, other than they all being of the male persuasion, is that they are all people that I had met several years ago and lost touch with. Then one day they reached out and we started talking again.
I am thinking that there was a reason that they were in the past, and I probably should have left them there.
There is only a couple of problems:
1) As it is I am already a loner with not a lot friends. If I am going to start to shut down the ones that return from the past I better then start adopting a few cats.
2) Nowadays you are nothing if you don’t have contacts. I could be jobless tomorrow and have to start knocking on some doors. It is very hard to knock on doors of people that you haven’t spoke to in years, or people that have reached out to you and you have ignored.
What is a girl that wants to get out of the house to do? What is a career girl to do?
But, there are lessons here, as there always is in every situation. I have learned that I can be too trusting. Also, I think, oftentimes, I make people into what I think they are and not what they really are. So I am going to take a real close look at my relationships. How am I treating and being treated? Is this relationship building me up or just tearing me apart and bringing me down?
And as I write this I am making arrangements to meet an ex-co-worker that I haven’t seen in a couple of years. This is really a nice guy!! I promise!