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Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

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Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

Tag Archives: sister

Sisterly love, twin style

28 Sunday Jan 2018

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

agreeing to disagree, forgetting the past, identical twin sister, JFK airport, living with family, rebuilding a friendship, sister, twin sister

“You may be as different as the sun and the moon, but the same blood flows through both your hearts. You need her, as she needs you…”  – George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

Today at 5am I was at JFK airport waiting for my twin sister.  She was here for a few months last year.  At that time we had another friend here, and then my mother, so she was mostly involved in running around with our friend and then being with my mother. Now she is back here to decide if she wants to live here or not.

We shall see what the future holds for her.  I want her to follow her heart and choose what is good for her.

A sister is a built-in best friend, or it should be.  We are extremely close but also extremely critical of each other.  Last year it was the first time we have lived together since we were 17 years old.  It was not all fun and games, but it was not bad either.   It takes some adjustment to live with someone after being alone for several years.  Throw in 2 very strong personalities, add the fact that we are identical twins and you have a balancing act.

I plan on using this time while she is here, however long it last, to grow our friendship in a positive way.  We would kill for each other, but still the tiniest of issue gets us to be annoyed at each other and things to get blown out of proportion.  Loving each other is not the issue, the issue is respecting each other.  The issue is being okay with disagreeing.  We both need to stop thinking that we know what is best for the other, and in general and allow room and space for errors.

All I can do is try, but with all my heart.  I will try more and better than before.  What if I fail?  There is no failing, there is only trying, and when that fails then trying some more.

I am going for:

  • No reaction and no over-reaction.  Stop. Do nothing for awhile.
  • Put myself in her shoes, and see how it feels before judging, before criticizing
  • Listen with love, talk with love, act out of love

While she is here I plan on getting out more and doing a variety of things. There is so much in New York to see and do so we plan we on doing some of it.  When she was here last year we did most of the usual sightseeing so now we will probably go off the beaten path.

So much culture, so much adventure, so much living and loving to do, I have to hurry up.

Wishing you all a blessed week ahead!

oh, and just a thought:  You know that relative, or that friend that you love but that for some reason or another it is easier to be apart and silent? Yes, that one!  Give him or her a call, or meet for coffee.  You don’t have to hash out all the issues at once.  Actually sometimes is better to just let go of the issues of the past and start fresh.  You can slowly rebuild the friendship.  When there is love anything is possible.

On Friendship  –  Kahlil Gibran

Your friend is your needs answered.
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay.”
And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.And let your best be for your friend.
If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

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Back to my waiting life!

27 Thursday Mar 2014

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Fiction

≈ 24 Comments

Tags

Brazil, family, love, Masai Tribe, ONU, relationship, self awareness, sister, Tanzania, vacation

“Old places fire the internal weather of our pasts. The mild winds, aching calms, and hard storms of forgotten emotions return to us when we return to the spots where they happened.” ― Siri Hustvedt, The Sorrows of an American

I returned from Brazil 2 days ago.  In some instances it feels I have never left the US, in others it feels like I was away for years.  I am blessed to be a citizen of two countries, but at times I feel I belong in neither. I love taking time away and being with my family but I am happy to return as I cannot stay away from my routine for too long.   Is it the fear that things will fall apart in my absence? Or perhaps the opposite, the realization that all progresses very well in my absence?  I think it is a matter of being a control freak. I always come back renewed and hungry to improve in all areas of my life. I got use this momentum to get moving in the things I want to accomplish.

“Be genuinely interested in everyone you meet and everyone you meet will be genuinely interested in you” ― Rasheed Ogunlaru

A couple of highlights from last week: I met very interesting people at the airport.  (I will talk to anyone that makes eye contact 🙂 ) I met a young entrepreneur from Liechtenstein building a business that empowers women affected by human trafficking.  I will write more about him and his business as I learn more.  He introduced me to 2 women and a man from the Masai tribe in Tanzania.  They all had come to attend events celebrating The International Women’s Day at the United Nations in NY.  The 2 women spoke no English other than a couple of words.  The language barrier was replaced with smiles.  Later I was able to get M. (also from Tanzania and attending the event, but not from the tribe) to translate.  The two women from the tribe were shocked to find out I was not married and have no kids. One commented that I must have turned down many marriage offers.   G., one of the women said that she is sure God will send me a child as she made some gestures towards the sky.  I joked that I need a husband first.  It seems I am an anomaly in any culture or anywhere in the world.  Be it in the US or Tanzania, to be in my late 40s, never married and have no kids is shocking!

“Each person you meet is an aspect of yourself, clamoring for love.”  ― Eric Micha’el Leventhal

Meeting them was awesome for so many reasons! It renews my love of different cultures and this dream of travelling the word.  They were eager to invite me to visit them.  In that way they are like Brazilians; our doors are always open to new friends.  This chance encounter also reignited my volunteer flame. To me education for all girls, actually boys too, as well as men and women, especially in impoverished countries, is the key to a better future for all.  Knowledge brings empowerment. I have to find a way to do my part.

“To Whom Much is Given, Much is Expected” ― Luke 12:48

Being with my family is always a blast! We don’t always agree on everything, but whatever disagreements we have are normally out of too much love.   We eat, we laugh, we eat some more.  Who knew just one week could do so much damage to my waistline?  It is great to see that mom and dad are doing well! Dad has completely won his cancer battle! My brother and sister are thriving professionally with great plans towards the future.  To me happy people make plans.  Any time someone has plans to look forward to it, it shows their hope for the future.  Hope is the best thing a person can have, I cannot ask for anything else for them. My dad was always a homebody, which only got worse after he amputated his right leg, so it is great to see him getting out a bit more.  Lately, whenever I am in Brazil he agrees to spend one afternoon at the pool house and also to go to brunch at a winery.

“Sisters function as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other.”  ― Carol Saline

One low moment,  realizing that my sister and I get along better from a distance.  On the phone we rarely have disagreements, in person we get so critical and so defensive that at times we were unable to have a conversation.  I guess it has to do with expecting the best from each other, knowing what our potentials are and expecting more.   I am sure being identical twins contribute to that.  Anything I said seemed to spark defensiveness. Perhaps I should not call this a low moment but a huge opportunity.  An opportunity for more communication, more acceptance, more love and more self-awareness and self-reflection.  I need to look in the mirror, as I am sure that which I find fault in her is what I am guilt of. The best thing is feeling loved and well received and that is clear to see from all of them!  I am blessed with a great family!

“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.” – Steve Maraboli 

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Flowers to Moms!

11 Friday May 2012

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, EX Files

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

decision, flowers, Mother's Day, sister

So, Mother’s Day is around the corner and even though we should honor our mother’s every single day, Sunday is a day that we must make sure to be extra special for them.

My sister is in charge of getting my mom flowers.  My mom is in Brazil now with the rest of my family, so that means that my sister is on duty as far as making the day special for our mom.  Thanks Heaven for my sister!

Now comes the issue of my Ex-mom-in-law. I love her like a mom and it is not because her son and I are no longer together that all of a sudden my love for her disappeared.  So after pondering the entire last night, I decided to go ahead and send her flowers like I used to do every year.

Once I made the decision to send the flowers – and I was so happy that my sister agreed with me completely, I am at peace!  Love wins again!

To all mom’s have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

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