“You may be as different as the sun and the moon, but the same blood flows through both your hearts. You need her, as she needs you…” – George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones
Today at 5am I was at JFK airport waiting for my twin sister. She was here for a few months last year. At that time we had another friend here, and then my mother, so she was mostly involved in running around with our friend and then being with my mother. Now she is back here to decide if she wants to live here or not.
We shall see what the future holds for her. I want her to follow her heart and choose what is good for her.
A sister is a built-in best friend, or it should be. We are extremely close but also extremely critical of each other. Last year it was the first time we have lived together since we were 17 years old. It was not all fun and games, but it was not bad either. It takes some adjustment to live with someone after being alone for several years. Throw in 2 very strong personalities, add the fact that we are identical twins and you have a balancing act.
I plan on using this time while she is here, however long it last, to grow our friendship in a positive way. We would kill for each other, but still the tiniest of issue gets us to be annoyed at each other and things to get blown out of proportion. Loving each other is not the issue, the issue is respecting each other. The issue is being okay with disagreeing. We both need to stop thinking that we know what is best for the other, and in general and allow room and space for errors.
All I can do is try, but with all my heart. I will try more and better than before. What if I fail? There is no failing, there is only trying, and when that fails then trying some more.
I am going for:
- No reaction and no over-reaction. Stop. Do nothing for awhile.
- Put myself in her shoes, and see how it feels before judging, before criticizing
- Listen with love, talk with love, act out of love
While she is here I plan on getting out more and doing a variety of things. There is so much in New York to see and do so we plan we on doing some of it. When she was here last year we did most of the usual sightseeing so now we will probably go off the beaten path.
So much culture, so much adventure, so much living and loving to do, I have to hurry up.
Wishing you all a blessed week ahead!
oh, and just a thought: You know that relative, or that friend that you love but that for some reason or another it is easier to be apart and silent? Yes, that one! Give him or her a call, or meet for coffee. You don’t have to hash out all the issues at once. Actually sometimes is better to just let go of the issues of the past and start fresh. You can slowly rebuild the friendship. When there is love anything is possible.
On Friendship – Kahlil Gibran
He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.
And he is your board and your fireside.
For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay.”
For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.And let your best be for your friend.
For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?
Seek him always with hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.
For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.