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Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

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Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

Monthly Archives: January 2013

Feeling Free in Finger Lakes!

30 Wednesday Jan 2013

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life

≈ 20 Comments

Tags

desserts, Finger Lakes, skiing, travel, wine

A couple of weeks ago I went to the Finger Lakes region in upstate NY.  I took the bus out of Port Authority. To my surprise it was not full of transients as I expected. Even though I work just several blocks away I had never been in it and had all kinds of scary mental images of it.  I was pleasantly surprised that it was quiet, calm and easy to get around. It was a weekday 11am, I am sure that evenings and weekends are much different.

I went skiing at the Greek Peak Mountain and it was so much fun.  I took a couple of lessons and the instructors gave me very good tips and areas to focus in.

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I went to the below waterfall, which I think the name is Taughannock Falls.  It was beautiful and majestic. Nature humbles me!

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Another great stop was the Americana Winery, followed by dinner at the Crystal Lake Cafe.  For some reason all of sudden I am into wine. So it was fun doing the wine tasting.  I love playing wine connoisseur and pretending to detect hints of amber and other stuff.  All I know is if it sweet and if I like it or not. 🙂

Photo

I stayed at this quaint and cozy Bed and Breakfast pictured below. It was built in 1897 and it has been beautifully maintained. It is located in Cincinnatus, NY.

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Other than skiing, the highlight of the trip was the desserts at Madeleine’s in Ithaca, NY.  I wish I could have had them all! If I only lived near…

I love going on trips, but coming home is pretty great too!! Thank you God for my safe haven!

Being able to travel, see new places, meet new people, explore new cultures, even if it is just a few hours from home, is such a blessing! If you have a chance to travel, please do!!

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the one instance when I am embarrassed to be Brazilian!

25 Friday Jan 2013

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life

≈ 35 Comments

Tags

Brazil, Brazilian, consulate, passport, USA

Don’t get me wrong, I love Brazil and I love and pride myself on being this hot blooded sassy Brazilian.  But every time I go to the Brazilian Consulate in NY and see how rudely the agents there treat Americans and Brazilians alike I cringe and shrink in my seat.  The agents are short tempered and condescending.   They don’t think twice about sending you away, it doesn’t matter how many hours you have traveled to get there.

When I think of a consulate I think of an organization that was created to help citizens in foreign countries.  Unfortunately that is not what you happens when you visit the Brazilian Consulate in New York.  They go out of their way to make Brazilian’s lives difficult.  They take pleasure out of making you feel inferior.  I dare say that they resent us for leaving Brazil and choosing to live in another country.  I don’t know if that is a fact or not but it is the feeling that I get.  And I am not alone, every Brazilian that I speak to is quick to point out a problem that they have faced in dealing with the Consulate!

Last year I needed a passport in 24 hrs, and after a lot of begging they gave to me, but to penalize me, instead of renewing for 5 years they renewed it for 1 year, which meant that 6 months later I have to go through the whole process again (forms, pictures, money from the US Postal Service – they do not accept it from any place – it has to be from the Post Office)

So there I go again last week, armed with my old (well, 6 months old) passport to renew it.  I fill the application online, email to ask for appointment, I take the picture as per the specifications, I get the money order from the Post Office and on the assigned day I stand in line for over 1 hour.  When my turn comes, the woman at the window looks at my documents and makes faces at everything, she questions me on the quality of the copies of my documents, she lectures me on the need to get some of my identifications redone.  She has a smirk on her face every time she points out something I should do better or different.  I am biting my tongue and trying the nice approach first.

After she collected all the documentation she issues me a number and a receipt so that I can come in one week to get the passport.  I feel an immense relief! First time that I will get this done without numerous trips and some begging.  I am thinking to myself, once I get my passport I wont have to deal with these people for another 4 1/2 years!

3 days letter,  I get a voice mail from the consulate agent that helped (well that is really not the right word)  with my paperwork.   To summarize her message, she said that unless I present an original birth certificate they will not give me a passport!

I guess giving me a passport for the previous 30 years is not proof enough that I am Brazilian! And of course I am not going to dare ask them to give me then a Visa on my American passport instead- I made that mistake years ago an still remember the scolding I got!

After searching through my documents I find 5 different certified copies of my birth certificate, one even includes a certified English translation. I go back to the consulate and after the required waiting in line time, I talk to her and present everything I have, and promise to get another copy when I get to Brazil.

She looks at each copy and is clearly not happy with any of them, she narrows in on the fact that the letter I in my name is faded from the birth certificate being folded for many years.  She again preaches to me how I should go and get another one the first thing I do when I get to Brazil, and how easy it is – I am not going to explain to her that it is not as simple as she is describing. And she tells me to sit down and wait.  I am happy and feel that telling me to wait is because they will give me the passport.

After waiting for 30 minutes she finally calls me over and hands me the passport and asks me to sign it (I am so happy and relieved!), I ask where and she says: The same place where you signed the last one! Yes it would kill her to point out to me where to sign.  I eventually find the right line and as I am signing she says:  next time if you have all the documentation in order perhaps you will get one for 5 years!!

My face fell, my spirits sank, no they didn’t! Yes they did!! Again they gave me another passport valid for 1 year only.  So in approximate 6 months I will have to do all this all over again.  By then I will have redone all the documentation that they gave me a hard time with.  I wonder what will they find fault with next?

But to summarize, it is not even all the impossible and picky requirements, it is the holier than thou attitude, it is the condescending tone of voice, it is the unnecessary preaching and lecturing that makes you feel 2 feet tall! That is what makes me feel embarrassed every time I am in the consulate and see non-Brazilians being subjected to that!

I was once told that it is called reciprocation, that that is the same way Brazilians are treated at the American Consulate in Brazil! Tit for tat? To me that is not a good excuse.  At least no one can say they discriminate, no matter what your race is you will be treated badly!

Thank you Consulate General of Brazil in New York! You make me proud! NOT!

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I texted Ex!

21 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, EX Files, Finding Me

≈ 43 Comments

Tags

being grateful, embracing the future, making peace with the past, skiing

I texted Ex!
I know how it looks. And I actually don’t care how it looks, but how I feel.
One of the things I pride myself on is always giving a voice to my heart.  I like wearing my heart on my sleeve, I like being open and transparent.
Saying what I want, when I want unburdens and empowers me.
I don’t care what he thinks either. It is not about him! It never was! It is about me and my feelings and how I act and react to them!
I am taking myself and my heart back little by little, too slow for my liking, but somethings cannot be rushed. Each little step towards freedom is important and rewarding.
I texted him to express gratitude.
I was at Windham, NY skiing (or attempting to) and I was feeling overwhelmed with the freedom of the open space and the beauty of the mountain. I was also feeling good about my progress skiing.
Right then and there I felt an enormous sense of gratitude for the person that introduced me to skiing: Ex

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This is what I wrote:
“I want you to know that no matter how much hurt I still have in my heart I will be eternally grateful for the many things you have taught me including and especially skiing. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
I know that many may think I am opening a door for him to waltz back in, but that is not the case at all. I am opening a door to the healing of my heart.
I don’t expect a reply, that was no the point of sending the text.
He does reply in the form of an email the following day, saying I should be proud of being a Brazilian skier.
and that was it!

I have decided to look at my relationship with Ex, as a whole, with all its beauty during and not so beautiful ending. The relationship was not the ending alone, I cannot only think about how it ended and dwell on it.  I cannot also only think about the beautiful time and have this unreal view of it.
I don’t regret sending it the text the same way I don’t regret the relationship.  IN fact I would be willing to do it all over again!

I think that my reaching out to him is my way of making peace with my past.  I cannot hate Ex, that would be like hating my past, and I love my past.  I don’t want to be in the past, I want to be fully in the present and embrace the amazing future that awaits.  I want to continue to grow and become better and better. But my past is me, and I embrace it, love it and I am making peace with it!

It felt so freeing being the one that reached out instead of being in the receiving end! It made me feel in control.  I am making things happen and not waiting for them to happen to me and just react to it!

So, thank you Ex, for skiing and other things! Thank you for my lovely memories!

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My 2013 so far:

15 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 36 Comments

Tags

back pain, facing fear, falling, getting up, joys, skiing, Trials

Back pain.  Last week my lower back started hurting.  I am not sure what it caused, but I suspect it is the ball I am sitting on a couple of hours a day at work.   I thought it was going to improve my core, but it backfired, so until my back is 100% I have stopped using the ball.   Having to skip Zumba and Yoga made me unhappy.  I went to Pilates anyway – we mostly stretched and work around my back issues. This is a good reminder to be good to my body, cherish my health and strive to lead a balanced life.   

Kitchen flood.  One night last week I started my washer and all of a sudden I am standing in water and it doesn’t stop flowing even after I stop the machine.  My poor aching back became worst after mopping and wet vacuuming for 2 hours.   After 2 days the plumber finally found the source of the problem.  Now all I need is someone to fix this huge hole in my wall.  What is the lesson here?  I am not sure, but I am learning not to stress over things, especially material things.  A damaged wood floor and a hole in the wall are not the end of the world!

New Industry Regulations.  New regulations are threatening to make conducting my business very difficult, actually to the point of closing our doors.   These impossible requirements and looming deadlines are making me busier and more stressed than normal. I can only do my best –  if for some reason this door closes I am sure a bigger and better one will be opening up in the future.

Flat tire (a second one in the space of a couple of months – different tire).  (I am well aware that a flat tire is not a big deal, but since it was night time and my cell was running out of power it constituted an emergency for me).   Luckily, just last week I called and got full coverage for my car and it comes with road side assistance.  I am happy to report that Geico Roadside Assistance works!          What needs to be done, needs to be done right now! I had been postponing making the phone call to change my insurance for awhile, but I am so relieved that I finally did it last week.  I am glad I didn’t let procrastination get the best of me!

And here is the highlight:

I went skiing! Who cares about all of the above when one is going down a mountain trying not to fall, or should I say, trying to fall safely.

REI store was offering their first skiing class, so that is who I went with.  There was 10 of us in big bus. A wonderful group of people, most talked all the way there and back, I slept, which made the trip seem like 30 minutes instead of 2 and half hours.

I have been dying to get to a mountain, any mountain. It was fun, fun, fun! Okay so the conditions weren’t ideal, and Windham is no Whistler but it satisfied my thirst for the mountain and open air.

A co-worker said to me: This is the time in your life when you should be stopping skiing, not starting. I find that almost insulting.  What does age have to do with anything?

I love the challenge of the sport.   I am both in love with and terrified by skiing.  I love the idea of conquering my fear of gaining speed as I go down the mountain.  I know I will get better at it, and even if I don’t, I am enjoying the trying!

My new motto: If I am not falling I am not learning! If I am not falling/failing that means that I am playing it safe and not challenging myself. Therefore I am not improving/growing.  Here’s to constant growth and many falls on and off the mountain!!

 

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Just thank you for the Awards!

09 Wednesday Jan 2013

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in AWARDS

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

awards, Blog of the Year, gratitude, happiness, Inspiring, Liebster, Lovely

This is a quick post to just say thank you to my fellow bloggers that have nominated me for awards.

I am not going to pretend I will follow the award’s rules because you and I know that that would be a lie!  In the past I have tried to keep track of who gave me which award and even that I cannot do it correctly 🙂

I do appreciate getting awards and it does bring a smile to my face every time I receive one!  So if I missing you in this list please remind me and I will update it.

Thank you to the following bloggers for thinking of me:

Blog of The Year Award

Donkey Whisperer
http://donkeywhispererfarm2010.wordpress.com/2012/11/25/blog-of-the-year-award-2012/

Dear Kitty
http://dearkitty1.wordpress.com/2012/11/29/blog-of-the-year-2012-award-thanks-waji/

ClanMother
http://clanmother.com/2012/12/06/stars-change-the-world/

Clark Kent
http://clarkkent07.wordpress.com/2012/12/08/blog-of-the-year-award-2012/

Writersfield
http://writersfield.wordpress.com/2013/01/04/blog-of-the-year-2012-award/

I am for change
http://iamforchange.wordpress.com/2012/12/09/blog-of-the-year-awards-and-nominations-thank-you/

************

Very Inspiring Blog Award

Rebeccca Dawn
http://seriouslyrebecca.wordpress.com/2012/11/24/very-inspiring-blogger-award/

************

Liebster Award

Echoing Images from the Soul 

http://echoingimagesfromthesoul.wordpress.com/

************

One Lovely Blog Award

Writer Site
http://writersite.org/2013/01/08/grateful-x-7/

 

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Thank you 2012 for everything! For heartaches and lessons, for friends old and new, and above all, thank you for the hope in my heart!

01 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 62 Comments

Tags

2013, grateful, looking back, New Year, past, peace

Thank you!  Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you 2012 for everything that you have taught me!

Thank you Ex for letting me go when I wanted to hang on!

Thank you family and old friends for always being there for me!

Thank you new friends for making me believe in the beauty of new relationships.

Thank you work for the steady paycheck.

Thank you blog for giving me an outlet for my emotions and for introducing me to great people.

Thank you readers and fellow bloggers for reading my blog, for liking it, for commenting on it, for sending me heartfelt e-mails, for becoming my new friends!

It is impossible for me not to look back and reflect upon everything that has happened in 2012.  My life is completely different from what it was in 2011.  The only constant has been my job. I feel I have lost everything else.

Is my life better or worse?  It depends at which moment you ask me.  Life is composed of good and bad moments and I live each and all to the fullest.  The bottom line is my life is exactly as it is supposed to be.  2011 was certainly the most heartbreaking year of my life.  There were many challenges and I welcome challenges!

I feel I have accomplished and overcame a lot, specially emotionally.  I could have accomplished more, but at the same time I could have curled up in a ball and fallen into a deep depression.  I could have drowned my sorrows in pounds of chocolate and gained 30 pounds, I could have fallen for the wrong guy just because I feel lonely. Yet I have done none of those things.  And for that and more I am grateful.

I have found peace, comfort and joy in accepting what the Universe has thrown at me.  I accept and cherish the present moment.  I am happy and grateful for each breath.

The main idea in 2011 was to keep mind and body busy.  I keep active with Pilates, Yoga, Zumba, and volunteering ( I have been volunteering every Saturday and I am sore for days afterwards 🙂 ).  I try to keep my mind engaged with conversations with great friends, with movies, with puzzles, with new challenges.  Still I hate to exercise, eat too much sugar and watch too much TV.  I accept myself in all my glory and flaws. I just promise myself to try to be a little better today than  I was yesterday.

In 2013 I am renewing my efforts to work harder at learning French and learning mosaic ( I found a 1 day mosaic workshop to be held in February and already signed up for it and I am able to invite someone to dinner in French – great starts)

I look at 2013 with a peaceful heart and so much hope! I know in my heart that it will be an amazing year.  After all I am blessed with a Star on the Forehead (an invisible star)

In 2010 I had my fortune read by a monk sitting next to a temple in Thailand.  Is that an acceptable thing in Buddhism? I have been always curious about that.  But anyway, the point is, he told me that I was blessed (well no news there I knew that!! Lol), but he also told me that my life will only get better and better.  Each new day will be better than the one before! Did he know what he was talking about?  Did he have psychic abilities?  Who knows and who cares!  The important thing is that I believe it to be true, and the Universe believes what I believe.

The monk forgot to mention the hardships and growing pains along the way, but those are only details.

Today I can surely look back and say that my life is infinitely better and the most important thing is I feel I continue to move in the right direction and things can only get better.

So thank you reader and friend for being a part of my Universe, for making me question myself, for giving me support, for the kind words at the right time, for having inspiring, funny and informational blogs!

May your life get better and better and may 2013 be your year to shine!

ps.  How dare I feel sorry for myself even for a second? On my way from the train station I stopped by a Brazilian restaurant, while waiting for a pastry to be fried, I noticed a man paying for a tiny piece of meat and sitting and eating that. The man looked disheveled and I thought he could have been mentally ill, but I decided to approach him anyway.  I sat at his table and asked him if I could buy him lunch. He said yes.  I was relieved that he acted normal.

I had so many emotions when I left the restaurant.  I was happy with myself for lending a hand, but still the powerlessness consumes me. I feel guilty for having had moments today of feeling sorry for myself for not having a big New Year’s Eve planned. How dare I when some don’t know where their next meal is coming from?

I know I am meant to do more, to help more.  “To whom much is given, much is expected!” Luke 14:48

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“Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”
"Preocupa-se com o que as pessoas pensam, e voce sera prisioneiro delas" #laotzu #quotes #livefreely #vivalivre
“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
"O Universo interio se rende perante a mente que esta quieta" #laotzu #laotzuquotes #universe #universo #mentequieta #stillmind #quietmind
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
Don't run after anyone. Take care of yourself and good things and good people will come to you!
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Writing from Mario Quintana.
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