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Blessed with a Star on the Forehead

Monthly Archives: May 2012

So called friends

17 Thursday May 2012

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

friendships, lessons, past, trust, Value

The tumultuous day I had yesterday got me thinking (yes I do that some times! –  whenever I am not too busy watching tv or eating – just kidding)

I realized that perhaps I am not as good a judge of character as I thought I was, or perhaps I am becoming naive in my old age. And of course, I learned that appearances can be deceiving.

People that I thought were friends treated me in a less than friendly way.  People that I thought had great morals turned out to be a little flexible with their morals.

In the space of 2 weeks I have 3 less friends/acquaintances/contacts:

The ex-client V. (see my post: When you think you have a friend … May 7, 12) – that kept trying to chat about sex when I expressly said I was not interested in that kind of talk, and then just logged off and I never heard from him again. I see now the value of my friendship to him. For the record nothing wrong with harmless sexy chatting, but he is married and I don’t want to cross that line.

The ex-dancing buddy B. (see my post Am I becoming a prude? May 10, 12) – the one that wanted to keep me hidden, see me when his friends were not around and of course, I am sure, he would not ever mention to his wife about a female friend. We still exchange e-mails but it is not the same.

And then yesterday the train buddy (see my post My day destroyed with 1 phone call! May 19, 12) – that I thought was such a great man and could have been more than a friend turned out to be a disappointment. He later told me that the woman that called me yesterday was a married woman that he had had an affair with (probably while having other girlfriends) and she was having trouble accepting the break up.

I realized that what they have in common, other than they all being of the male persuasion,  is that they are all people that I had met several years ago and lost touch with.  Then one day they reached out and we started talking again.

I am thinking that there was a reason that they were in the past, and I probably should have left them there.

There is only a couple of problems:

1) As it is I am already a loner with not a lot friends.  If I am going to start to shut down the ones that return from the past I better then start adopting a few cats.

2) Nowadays you are nothing if you don’t have contacts.  I could be jobless tomorrow and have to start knocking on some doors.  It is very hard to knock on doors of people that you haven’t spoke to in years, or people that have reached out to you and you have ignored.

What is a girl that wants to get out of the house to do? What is a career girl to do?

But, there are lessons here, as there always is in every situation.  I have learned that I can be too trusting. Also, I think, oftentimes, I make people into what I think they are and not what they really are.  So I am going to take a real close look at my relationships. How am I treating and being treated? Is this relationship building me up or just tearing me apart and bringing me down?

And as I write this I am making arrangements to meet an ex-co-worker that I haven’t seen in a couple of years.  This is really a nice guy!! I promise!

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My day destroyed with 1 phone call!

16 Wednesday May 2012

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life

≈ 28 Comments

Tags

crazy people, men, people's baggages, stalkers, train, women

Let me give you the background first:

4 years ago when I used to take a certain train to work I met this man that I will call J. and we became great train buddies (only met each other in the train).  Even though there was some chemistry, nothing happened because he was married and I am just not going there.

When he got divorced, I think around 1 and a half year ago he e-mailed me and asked me out for a drink.  I declined and mentioned that I was happily living with someone.

Every now and then we would exchange a hello e-mail. March this year, I casually mentioned in an e-mail that I was going to the Brazilian Consulate.  He, turns out, works 1 block away, so he met me there and in the 5/10 minutes while I waited for my passport he caught me up on his life: divorced, has a new girlfriend, working 2 jobs.  I joked that we can never get our timing in synch, first he was married, then I am living with someone, now he has a girlfriend.

A month ago he sent an e-mail saying hello and I told him I was starting to write again (I knew that him as a writer would appreciate that) and he wrote back: “ I am pleased to hear that you are putting your mind into words.”

And that is that, that is the extent of our friendship, a monthly or every other month e-mail saying hi!

So, today as soon as I walked into the office I am being told I have a phone call in one of the broker’s line.   I answer, thinking it is a sales call since this person didn’t call me on my direct line.

This female voice asked me if I knew J., then asked if I was his girlfriend.   I started laughing and said no. I had to laugh it was such an out of the blue, weird question.

She proceeded to tell me that someone saw us together at the Consulate.  She went on to say that he is a terrible person.  I said I didn’t believe that.

Now in hindsight I should have not even said a single word to her.  I should have just hung up. But it is one of those things that feels it happened so fast.

When I asked her name she said it is best that I didn’t know it.  So I said if you can’t give me your name please don’t ever call me again.

She thanked me, said that she thought I was an honest person and hung up.

I am so unnerved by all this.  How can someone think I am involved with someone that I barely know and never see or speak to.  Should I be worried now? This person clearly has issues.

So I e-mailed him my phone number asking him to call me back right away.  He never even had my phone number before.

After one hour he calls and says that he thinks he knows who is behind all this. He doesn’t really say who it is.  When I ask is it the ex-wife or the new girlfriend, he just answers: It is related to that! He says I should not worry. I wish he had provided me more info on this person or this whole situation.

And that is it!

How can I not worry? That are so many crazy stories I hear  Of course my mind is going now full speed with all the terrible possibilities.

I am now afraid of this unknown person, because if she goes as far as calling me she could be curious to see what I look like and actually come after me.

***

I am now even afraid of meeting new people, a new man.  One just never knows what sort of baggage they will bring, what crazy people they have in their past.

Time to say another prayer asking God to protect me from the seen and unseen evils.

Please God put only good people in my path!

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New post: http://listuniverse.wordpress.com/

15 Tuesday May 2012

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

lists

I have a new post on my other blog:

http://listuniverse.wordpress.com/

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Tennis Progress Report

15 Tuesday May 2012

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

goals, lessons, partners, Progress, tennis

Progress Reporting:

Goal: To improve my tennis game

Yesterday I had my first private tennis lesson.  It was so great! I can’t believe how much I have learned in 30 minutes!

One of the things I found out is that I have been playing with a kid’s racket.  Well, at least I hope it is true and that  the instructor was not just trying to sell me a racket by telling me that I needed a new one.

Tonight I have the group lesson for 1 hour.  I am hoping it will be even better than last night.  I hope the rain holds off so I can actually have the lesson.

I am also hoping to make friends to play tennis with.  As with anything you try to learn in life, practice makes it perfect or at least much better.  Similar to many things in life,  tennis is one of those activities that you need a partner to be able to play. So that has been one of my challenges lately: finding partners.

I have also signed on a tennis site called http://tennisopolis.com/.  It is a Tennis Social Network site.  I have actually met and played with one person there, but our schedules haven’t worked out to play again – like I have said before, everyone is so busy nowadays.

It feels great to be working on my goals! And it feels even better to be moving in the right direction!

If you have a goal or something that you have always wanted to learn, do or start, the moment to do it is NOW.  Not tomorrow, not Monday, not next week, not when you find a friend to motivate you, etc, etc. The moment is Now!

So what goal are you going to start working on?

 

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So far e-Harmony sucks!!!

14 Monday May 2012

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Dating

≈ 18 Comments

Tags

e-harmony, love, men, pictures, relationships

I joined e-Harmony last month in an effort to move on. I have to be honest and say that I am not expecting to find the love of my life there, but if I did would be amazing!

I am expecting and hoping to find some good dates, friends, entertainment, something to keep my mind off of you know who.

But so far, it has been a disappointment.

Perhaps I just think too highly of myself.  I thought that I would put up my profile on e-Harmony and men would just be all over it.  I thought I was going to have to hire someone to just deal with all the dates. ok, ok, I am just kidding, but I did think I would have several suitors.

I was in for a rude awakening! I have been contacted by a total of 5 men.

One we e-mail every now and then and will eventually meet, but I am not having any expectations, as it is he is very busy and meeting other women.

Another 2 we are still on the initial questions and answers stage – and they are taking way too long to get that done, so it seems they are not that interested, which begs the question, why contact me then?

Finally there were 2 that seemed promising. After the initial back and forth questions/answers stage we graduated to e-mails.  They both sent me long e-mails with a lot of information on them, which I took as a good sign.  They seemed thought and honest and genuinely interested.  After all, who is going to send you long e-mails with lots of information if they are not interested?

So after I replied and we exchanged a couple of more e-mails they both came and said, and I am copying and pasting their replies:

Guy #1: “Sorry for the delayed response.  I had some traveling to do, but more importantly, I met someone on eH and we have decided to be exclusive as opposed to continue dating people.  Personally, I am also more of a one girl dating kind of guy and not dating many simultaneously… so I can keep my mind clutter free :)”

Guy #2: “Like I said, I’m big on open and honest dialogue and to be fair to you, I’ve just started dating someone seriously and thus it wouldn’t be fair to you or I for us to continue communicating right now. I wish you nothing but continued success in both life and in finding your life partner. Who knows, maybe our paths will cross again some day. Take care. ”

Why contact me to begin with if they were already seeing someone?  I don’t get it.

Perhaps it is me!

Perhaps I need to take professional photos.  I have pictures that show me as I am natural and doing stuff I enjoy, skiing, traveling.  I figure men would appreciate the real me, but I guess not. Perhaps I need to have some glamour pictures done, with hair and face completely done for a night out on the town.

I know it has been only 1 month but I feel totally discouraged and will probably not continue with e-Harmony after the 3 months that I signed up for are finished (I checked, I cannot discontinue now).

Perhaps the best thing to do is forget about that for awhile and continue just focusing on me. And on finding single girlfriends that are not too busy to go out.

If it is meant to be, love will find me.

Plus I believe in Divine Timing.  When the time is right it will happen.

Any advice?

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Your love is not worth 1.99

13 Sunday May 2012

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, EX Files

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

1.99, Song, worthless love

In talking to my mom today, she really wanted me to hear the words to a song that is very popular in Brazil right now.

The song is theme for one of the new soap operas.  Soap opera in Brazil are huge.  They are shown on prime time tv and the majority of the population stop what they are doing to watch it.  It dictates fashion and other cultures.

Anyway, I couldn’t resist, I had to to post the song, and here it is, please forgive my loose translation, but I think you will get the point.

Ex My love (the actual name, not translated)
Gaby Amarantos

My love was real
yours was pirated
My love was made of gold
yours of a piece of tin

My love was river
and yours couldn’t even form a thin cascade
My love had pedigree
yours was simply a mutt

Ex my love, ex my love, if I put your love on the window
it will not be worth 1.99

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyYdqKruD1c&feature=related
Meu amor era verdadeiro,
O teu era pirata
O meu amor era ouro
E o teu não passava de um pedaço de lata

Meu amor era rio
E o teu não formava uma fina cascata
Meu amor era de raça
E o teu simplesmente um vira-lata

Ex my love, ex my love, se botar teu amor na vitrine,
nem vai valer 1,99
Ex my love, ex my love, se botar teu amor na vitrine,
nem vai valer 1,99

***

I couldn’t have said it better!!! lol

Enjoy your Sunday everyone, Pilates here I come!!!

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Mom I am you!

13 Sunday May 2012

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Poetry

≈ 14 Comments

Tags

happiness, love, Mother's Day, talent

Mom

You annoy me sometimes

When I was 17 and you read my diary
I threw it out and it would be years until I wrote again

and every time that you don’t suggest
but tells me what to do
I shrink and feel like I am 5

You have annoyed me many times
and for many reasons

Still I must remember
that everything is done out of love
and from not knowing any better

You are the one I still want to impress
You are the one I want to talk to when I am not well
even though I will say everything is fine not to worry you
and everything is indeed better the moment I hear your voice

Your love is immense
Your compassion infinite
Your energy boundless
your talent unparalleled

You brave, corageous soul
You determined, righteous individual

You are in my corner
and inside my heart

Your suffering is my suffering
Your happines my happiness

‘I love you’ should just flow out of my mouth
and yet it doesn’t

So easy to say thank you
but how often do I say it?

You mean the world to me
and my world is you

and the most annoying thing about you
and the best thing about me

is:

I became you!

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Too many vegetables

12 Saturday May 2012

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in Daily Life, Food

≈ 31 Comments

Tags

cooking, follow, food, menu, planning, vegetables

This morning I opened my fridge to find that I have probably over $100.00 worth of vegetables that were on the verge of going bad. Yes, I have been opening my fridge the whole week but for some reason it didn’t register it until this morning. .

Last weekend I went to the supermarket and in a second of momentary insanity I started loading the cart like I had to feed a family of 5.

So this morning I had no choice but to cook as much as I could. There is no way I am going to let anything go to waste, let alone food.

So I cooked the following:

Cabbage- sauted with onions and peppers.

Brussels sprouts – steamed them, later will saute with garlic.

Asparagus – sames as above.

Broccoli – steamed – will have some with pasta and sun dried tomatoes.

Corn – will cut and have it with salads.

Spinach – washed and got it ready.  I will have some in salads and omelets

Arugula – Same as with spinach.  I will have it in salads in omelets.

This entire week I will be taking lunch for me and assistant.

The problem with overbuying perishables is that, not only some always end up being wasted, but you are stuck knowing what you will be eating the whole week.  For some people that is fine, but for me I like to have a couple of days unplanned, to go out or to eat whatever I am in the mood for.

But, with that being said, I definitely need to learn to go shopping with a list and not stray from it.  When I was part of a couple it wasn’t too bad. We managed to eat all the food I bought (2 people taking lunch to work every day), but single me needs to make a list and follow it.

Do you plan ahead your menu for the whole week?  Do you follow it?

 

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No to you and yes to me!

12 Saturday May 2012

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in EX Files, Finding Me, Poetry

≈ 15 Comments

Tags

honesty, learning to say no, loyalty, respect, say yes, Value

It feels good saying no

and for the first time meaning it

not having even a second of doubt

 

Your invitation is insulting

it says nothing is changed

when nothing is the same

 

it feels good saying no

when just a week ago I would have said yes

It feels good saying no to you

and saying yes to me

 

when I said no to you, I said yes to:

Do I deserve honesty?

Do I deserve respect?

Do I deserve loyalty?

Do I value me?

Yes, yes, yes and yes

 

When I said no to you.

I said yes to me!!

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Let me be

11 Friday May 2012

Posted by A Star on the Forehead in EX Files, Poetry

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

call, e-mail, Heart, let me be, soul, text

Please Let me be

Don’t call

Don’t text

Don’t e-mail

Don’t mention my name

Don’t think of me

 

Let me be

Let me do what I am doing

Let me take one day at a time

Let me pickup the pieces I am in

Let me try to be whole again

 

Right now the past still haunts

And the future is taking too long

Right now I cry and laugh

not knowing there is a difference

 

My soul still breaks

Hope tries to peek through

At the sight and thought of your name

My heart stubbornly thinks ‘what if’

 

But since you don’t want me

Please have pity on this old soul

If you don’t want me

Please let me be!

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