cynical, faith and fate, Friends, giving up, love, online dating, persisting, relationships, soulmate
“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”
― C.G. Jung
Last night I went to dinner with a friend. I was telling her all about my adventures and misadventures with online dating. She thinks dating online is an absolute waste of time and she has no patience for it. Even though we agree that we have different views on the subject, for some reason I found myself defending online dating.
It got me thinking on the reasons why I do online dating. The main reason of course it that I want to find someone to share my wonderful life with, but it is more than that.
1. I still believe that there is someone out there for me and I am not willing to let go of that idea. I still believe in love. I don’t know where this person is and I don’t know when it will happen, but it will. That I know for sure!
2. I believe in being pro-active. I don’t like putting all my faith into fate! The idea of sitting on my hands and waiting for someone to knock on my door doesn’t suit me well. Putting myself out there makes me feel empowered.
“Nothing in this world was more difficult than love.” ― Gabriel García Márquez
3. It forces me to get out of the house and socialize. I love staying at home and most of the time I rather stay home than go out. The few friends I have are often busy. I am becoming a hermit. Dating gives me a reason to get dressed up and out there in the world. I find it fun getting ready, getting dolled up and dressed up, and a date is a good excuse for it.
4. I am able to meet people that I don’t normally encounter on my day to day. I see people on the train and on my walk to work, but no chance to talk and get to know anyone. Online I have met all kinds, and I enjoy the diversity.
5. Gives me great knowledge on men, people in general. I am becoming a connoisseur of people. Some men amaze me, some disgust me, some make me want to get a dog, some renew my faith in mankind. But they all make me rejoice in the beauty of the details that make each one of us unique.
“When God knows you’re ready for the responsibility of commitment, He’ll reveal the right person under the right circumstances.”
― Joshua Harris
6. Gives me great knowledge into myself. With each experience, good and bad, I learn about myself as I deal with the aftermath of a potential encounter, from hopefulness and happiness to rejection and disappointment. I am also getting great insight in the type of partner I want and need. Perhaps it makes me more selective, but I don’t see a problem with that.
7. I operate under the premise that I am normal, heck, I am better than normal I am a terrific human being, and chances are I am not the only one in the dating site. There is got to be at least a few more. I know I will end up attracting them, well only one will do.
“A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.” ― Mae West
8. It is better than a bar. I don’t have to drink, it can be free, you can check out people as much as you want. You can Google their information and sometimes get a whole background on them. Some times I feel like a detective and I like it. I can normally spot a scammer miles away.
9. I get to learn how to deal with rejection and develop a thicker skin. On the rare instance that I hear something that has the potential to hurt me, I think to myself: Consider the source! I also know that if people feel the need to insult or hurt is because they are hurting themselves and therefore they deserve my compassion. I don’t dwell on the negative.
I don’t know how long I will feel the way I feel, but for now online dating for me is harmless entertainment. I feel I do it smart and fair. If I meet somebody special it will be awesome, if I don’t it is okay too! I made friends and I have stories to tell. This is another way in which I think that I am choosing to live my life and not letting life pass me by.
“I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.” William Ernest Henley, Invictus