Category Archives: Dating

Two dates in two days, with the same person. And he didn’t disappear yet.

20 Monday Dec 2021

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“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” ― Shel Silverstein

 J is 56, smart, successful and funny. A gentleman in every way.

First date: Friday, December 17. Location: Kouzina Taverna in Stamford, CT.
To drink I had the Santorini Spritz: Ramazotti Blood Orange & Hibiscus Aperivo, Absolut Grapefruit Flavored Vodka, La Marca Prosecco. It was delicious. He had diet coke.

We shared the fried cheese and the zucchini/Feta balls for appetizers. For entrees, he had the octopus and I had moussaka. For dessert I had chocolate mousse cake.  Everything was really delicious!

I got there a few minutes before he did. I was blessed with a parking spot right in front of the restaurant. Yes, in these parts finding a parking space is something to be happy about. He came in a few minutes later, thinking, that because I am Brazilian, I was going to be late. That should teach him not to assume things.

We had a great time from the start. Our conversation ran the gamut from our families and childhood to the politics and the state of the world. We respectfully disagreed on a couple of things. 

After a 3 hour dinner, we took a walk around the block. He asked me out for the next evening. I said yes.

“If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating, as possibility!” ― Søren Kierkegaard, Either/Or: A Fragment of Life

Second date: Saturday, December 18. Location: Alvin and Friends, New Rochelle, NY.

For appetizer we had cod fritters and corn bread. Then I had the ribs with macaroni and cheese, and he had oxtail with rice. We had no dessert, as we were running late to catch a movie.

Again, similar to the evening before, there was no awkward moment or lack of conversation. He asked the waiter to take our picture. I was okay with it and the picture came out great.

After dinner, we walked to the movie theater. We saw House of Gucci. I was not bored. It was entertaining, but I expected so much more from the story.

After dinner he dropped me off at my door.  There was a couple of kisses good bye.  He asked me out for this Wednesday night. I said yes today.  We just have to decide where and what time.

He has been the perfect gentleman. If there is anything that gives me pause is the fact that he seems to like me a lot from the start.   He keeps saying how great I am.  I asked him to slow down. I said: “I am even more amazing than you think, but you don’t know that yet”.  Yes, I am my biggest fan lol

In all seriousness, I asked him to slow down, so we get to know each other. Chances are that what he calls adorable, will annoy him in a few more dates. Perhaps he will disappear. Or I will disappear. 

I will talk to him again. If he doesn’t slow down, I will run.  I know myself, I can’t feel pressured.  I am always leery of someone liking me so much right away.

“Don’t be afraid to be confused. Try to remain permanently confused. Anything is possible. Stay open, forever, so open it hurts, and then open up some more, until the day you die, world without end, amen.” ― George Saunders, The Braindead Megaphone

No harm, no foul!

13 Monday Dec 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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“Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision.”  ― Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving

The second date with the finance guy never happened.  He texted me on Friday to cancel, saying he had to drive his elderly father somewhere. 

I suspected it was an excuse, and I felt fine about it.  We had a couple of more texts that day.  This morning I realized he never texted again.  Then I noticed that he had closed his account on Bumble. 

Even though I am fine with it, as we didn’t really have much chemistry, I am still disappointed that he made an excuse to cancel the date instead of just telling me he was no longer interested. 

I texted him, not mentioning I had seen he was no longer on Bumble.

Now I have closure! lol, who needs closure after 1 date?  I do!  

I wished him luck, and I mean it.  He is a good guy, very busy with a test that he needs to take, and we are not a match.  Life goes on. NEXT!!

“Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right.” ― Phillip C. McGraw

 

All indications are good, but it is too early to tell

10 Friday Dec 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“I’m not sure of anything,” she said. “Which is almost wonderful.”
― Peter Heller, Celine

Date: Tuesday, Dec 7, 21
Location: Scalini Restaurant, Bronxville, NY

He is 55 years old, divorced with no kids. Works in the Finance industry.

I arrived at 7:05 pm and he was sitting at the bar waiting for me.  He came and met me at the door and we hugged hello.

He had a gray sweater with a shirt underneath and, oh gosh, I realized that I don’t know what type of pants and shoes he had on.  That is one of my flaws.  I don’t pay attention.  I know how someone made me feel but I don’t know what they were wearing.  Another item for my list of things to work on.

The waiter showed us to our table. Everything went smoothly from the start, with no awkward moments. We were talking so much, and not looking at the menu.  The waiter had to keep returning to our table to see if we were ready to order.

He liked that I mentioned we should share the appetizer, as he likes to share food.  Awesome, as I do too!  

Appetizer was spicy meatballs with roasted peppers and it was delicious.  For the entrée, I had salmon with artichoke and leak quinoa.  The quinoa seemed to have been fried or sautéed and I loved it!  He had the bucatini and it was also very tasty.

For dessert we shared an Almond tiramisu.  It was good, but not as good as the original tiramisu.

“In these times I don’t, in a manner of speaking, know what I want; perhaps I don’t want what I know and want what I don’t know.” ― Marsilio Ficino, The Letters of Marsilio Ficino, Vol. 3

The conversation flowed. We talked about a lot different topics.  He played soccer, has been to Brazil, and speaks a little Portuguese.   He was attentive, smart, and a total gentleman.  

He didn’t laugh at everything I said, but I am not taking that as a bad sign.  I need to stop thinking that I need to entertain people and make them laugh.  He was perhaps a bit on the shy side.

At the end of the evening, he walked me to my car, and gave me a quick peck good bye.

When I got home, he texted to say that it was great meeting and that we should do it again.  I agreed.  We decided on Saturday (tomorrow).

I am not completely sure if we are a match or not, but we deserve a second date. 

 “When you are not sure what to do, take action. You will quickly find out.” ― Jeffrey Fry

Ghosting is not okay!

09 Thursday Dec 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating

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“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” ― Andy Rooney

After I published the last post, I received a reply to my text:

The rest of the text reads: “soon as I felt it, but it just very recently has happened.”

At least he replied, but I still think that was a rude and coward move. I guess he was never going to say anything.  Ghosting was his chosen way to end things. 

Why leave me thinking that he is going to call? Why not contact me?  Why leave someone in limbo?

Am I being unreasonable to expect someone to let me know that they have changed their mind?  

I have no expectations after one date, good or not.  But if I have 2 dates that were great and the person keeps in touch and mentions a third; in that case I believe we have something and expect at least a courtesy text.

What saddens me, is not the rejection, but the fact that people think this is an acceptable way to treat each other.   It will never be acceptable to me.

I will not behave in such way, and I will not accept it as being okay.  I will continue to conduct myself in dating, as I do in life, with kindness, respect and thoughtfulness. I will continue to let the Golden Rule guide me.

I should write an online dating etiquette guide. I believe a lot people are just clueless, and perhaps not mean spirited. 

Onward and forward.  Stay tuned, the next post is about my date last night.

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” ― Roy T. Bennett

So it goes, So it goes…

06 Monday Dec 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Great minds have purpose, others have wishes. Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortunes; but great minds rise above them.” ― Washington Irving

Well, Well, Well… here we are again.

The IT/Teacher guy was supposed to reach out to plan a 3rd date. We last exchanged texts on Thanksgiving Day.  I have not heard from him yet.  Chances are I will never hear from him again.  This is not my first rodeo!

He did say that he is not the type to be constantly in touch, but this is a bit out long.  At this point I am not sure if I will reach out or not.  Well, as I come to this post to publish it, I texted him.  No reply yet.  We shall see, if I get silence or an excuse.

Once again, after two great dates, the guy disappears. Is the Universe playing tricks on me? Should I just give up on this whole dating thing? Should I start thinking there is something wrong with me?

“My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others! ” ― Marquis de Sade

NO, NO and NO! None of that!!!  a) The Universe is being the Universe, forever a wise guide, sending me lessons and teachers. b) Online dating is not for the faint of heart. I can take it, and keep going better and stronger.  c) I am not one to get discouraged and/or to start thinking there is something wrong with me or that I am doing something wrong. I am perfect! 🙂

These disappearing acts have nothing to do with anything that I have done or not done.  They were just not the right guy for me yet.  But, with each disappearing act, I feel I am getting closer. 

“And the little prince broke into a lovely peal of laughter, which irritated me very much. I like my misfortunes to be taken seriously.” ― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

Happiness is the journey and not the destination, isn’t that what they say?  And I wholeheartedly agree.   Even with the occasional disappointment of not hearing from someone when it all seemed so perfect, even with an occasional jerk, even with so many fake profiles, I still enjoy the journey.

I enjoy going on dates, meeting new people, discovering new things about myself and others. What I enjoy most of all is that feeling I get when I detect potential and possibilities.

“Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.” ― Voltaire

I am happy dreaming of the possibilities. I am in love with the potential. I am excited about first dates with great men; and sometimes not so great men.  If they never call again, it doesn’t mean they are less amazing, but that they are more amazing to someone else.

And, as fate would have, I am now excited about a first date tomorrow night.  Do I dare say that it seems so right?  I dare!

And so it goes, so it goes. 

Cautiously optimistic about a 3rd day in the horizon

22 Monday Nov 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect.”
― Margaret Mitchell

Update: Well, not much of an update, but the potential love story with the funeral home owner is dead.  He still sends a hello every now and then.  He asks about my schedule for a second date, but fails to make plans.

I don’t like that.  I no longer have an interest in him.  Anyone that is interested will make plans or tell me why they can’t.

***

“Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly.”
― Langston Hughes

Second Date with A. IT guy

Date: Saturday, November 20th, 6:30 pm

Location: Tapas and Cusina Restaurant, in Eastchester, NY

Drinks: He had 2 glasses of red wine and I had 2 glasses of passion mimosa (passion fruit juice with champagne)

Food: We chose a bunch of small plates: eggplant rollatini, meatball marinara, fried potatoes with garlic mayonnaise (the best!!), croquettes, fried sardines with salad, pulled pork and beef with polenta. 

Dessert: Limoncello cake.  Turns out he doesn’t care for that much lemon 🙂

We arrived in the parking lot at the same time, and from there we walked to the restaurant. It was a charming small restaurant. We waited 5 minutes while they arranged a table for us.  

We ordered some small plates as I described above.  I thought it would be more fun to share food rather than to get our own entrées.  Plus, I always have food envy.  I always think that the person I am with ordered better than I did.

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
― Emily Dickinson

I had a great time, and I think he did too. It was even better then the first date. Plenty of conversation and laughter.

He remembers every single word that comes out of my mouth.  He remembered details that I mentioned in passing about my childhood. Perhaps I am impressed because I don’t remember anything that people say to me.  I find myself asking the same question 2 or 3 times (I know, embarrassing! I need to do better)

When the coffee he ordered came, before the dessert, he handed me his coffee spoon. When I looked at him quizzically he said: You don’t like to eat your dessert with big spoons so take this one just in case they only bring a big spoon.

Little details like this melts me.  He remembered that from the first date. They did bring huge spoons with the dessert and I happily had my little spoon.  

We talked a lot about so many different things.  On the first date I felt I only talked about myself, so on this date, I enjoyed getting to know more about him, his sons, his work, etc. 

There were so many little instances of magic and joy. There were moments that I wish I could bottle that feeling, that look.   There were also plenty of moments that I wish I hadn’t talked too much, that I had not revealed exactly what I was thinking.   He did mention that I don’t have to filter or edit myself.  Unedited Ana can be a handful, too much, too in your face, too impulsive, too impatience.

“Listen to the mustn’ts, child. Listen to the don’ts. Listen to the shouldn’ts, the impossibles, the won’ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me… Anything can happen, child. Anything can be.” ― Shel Silverstein

On the date he mentioned wanting to see me again.  He also mentioned he likes to take things slow. He is not much into daily texting and such.  That is a needed adjustment for me. I am used to believing if I don’t hear from someone daily, then they are not interested.  And that is not necessarily the case, specially at this early in the game.

I feel that meeting someone that wants to take things slow is a good thing for me.  It is the Universe forcing me to face the fact that I need to slow down in everything.  Things are not on my timing.  I don’t need to hurry anything, because they will either happen or not, in the right time.  The divine time, as I like to call.

At the end of the date, we walked to our cars that were parked next to each other. As I stood there on the sidewalk next to my car to say good bye, he stepped back on the street saying that that way we would be at eye level.  I laughed and said he was calling me shorty.  He is 6’1 and I am 5’4.

There were a few kisses 🙂

When I got home he texted me at the same time I was texting him.  We will be making plans after the holiday, as I am going away today for a little road trip to CT, RI and MA.  

Just now he texted me to wish a good trip and happy Thanksgiving. We shall see.

And on the note, I wish you guys a wonderful Thanksgiving.  May it be with family and friends,  and have lots of food and fun!  May you have a lot to be grateful for.  

I am so grateful for having this blog and meeting so many amazing people.  You enrich my life in so many beautiful ways. Forever thankful! ♥♥

“There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state with another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, Morrel, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life.
” Live, then, and be happy, beloved children of my heart, and never forget, that until the day God will deign to reveal the future to man, all human wisdom is contained in these two words, ‘Wait and Hope.”
― Alexandre Dumas

 

Two dates in two days : a nay and a yea!

16 Tuesday Nov 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“When you have butterflies and you’re feeling anxious and you have anxiety or are nervous, that’s when you’re most powerful… A lot of people, instead of honing this power and using it, they allow it to just consume them. There’s another quote that says, ‘A big challenge, a big pressure is like a fire, it’s like a raging fire. Either you can allow this fire to consume you and just take you over completely, or you can gain control of this fire and harness it and you blow it right at your opponent, Dragonball Z style.’ That’s what I’m trying to do, trying to get my emotions under control and use this adrenaline to my advantage.” ― Jon Jones

Flower I received from the lunch date

Saturday Lunch Date

Date: October 13, 2021, 1pm

Location: Sedona Taphouse, Mamaroneck, NY

Date: 60yr old accountant

Family Situation: Single, no kids

Food/Drink: I had salad, fish tacos and sweet potato fries.  He had a chicken Alfredo pasta.  For dessert we shared the brownie with ice cream in the picture below. We both had club soda, and coffee for dessert.

When I got there he was waiting by the door with the beautiful white rose from the picture above.  We hugged hello.  I hug everyone.

He was a nice guy, but that was it.  He was a gentleman, but there were no sparks.  In person he seemed older.  He was also very nervous.  Still we had a good time. 

It seemed we mostly talked about the weather and other mindless topics.  There was anything that stood out in the conversation.

I never pay on first dates, but for some reason I felt like paying half this time, and he was okay with that.

After the date I messaged him and told him that I was open to being friends, but no chance of romance.  He seemed surprised and disappointed.

“Pray don’t talk to me about the weather, Mr. Worthing. Whenever people talk to me about the weather, I always feel quite certain that they mean something else. And that makes me quite nervous.” ― Oscar Wilde

 

Dessert always

Sunday Drink Date

Date: October 14, 2021, 6:30pm

Location: Lilly’s, White Plains, NY

Date: 55 yr old teacher/IT

Family Situation: Divorced, with two grown kids.

Food/Drinks: I had 2 glasses of prosecco and he had 2 glasses of red wine.  I had already had dinner, but we shared a couple of appetizers. The grilled sirloin and the fish tacos were delicious. We also shared a gluten free brownie with ice cream.  Yes, I love fish tacos and brownies! 🙂 

He was already seated when I got there.  I surprised him by entering from the back of the restaurant.  I said something that made him laugh.  I don’t remember what it was.  We hugged hello. 

The conversation and laughter just flowed.  Apparently I can be quite funny!  He laughed so much.  Or perhaps it was nervous laughter. He did say he was nervous about the first date.  He asked a lot questions about myself.   

At the end, he walked me to my car.  There was a funny moment.   I saw he was coming towards my lips and I guess I made a face or balked, because he said: “I am coming in for a kiss, unless you don’t want me to”.  I said: “I was hoping you would”. 

It was a quick kiss while we were both laughing.  The date started and ended in laughter.  It was somewhat different than I expected.  For some reason I was expecting, serious, cerebral conversation, focusing on self growth and spiritual matters.  Instead, it was mostly laid back fun, peppered with some of our life history.

After the date, while texting, we both agreed that we would need a do over on that quick awkward good bye kiss.  He is traveling at this moment, but asked me out for dinner on Saturday.  I happily said yes.  

“I think it’s glorious to be nervous. Being nervous is great! How often do we get nervous on a daily basis? Being slightly nervous means you care, and you’re alive, and you’re taking some kind of risk. Hooray for being nervous! A friend told me to substitute the word ‘excitement’ for ‘nervous’. That way you acknowledge the physical feelings without putting a negative spin on things. So to answer your question, sometimes I still get so excited about ‘Update’ that I want to throw up” – Amy Poehler

 

Accepting, being grateful and moving on to a date with a new guy :-)

10 Wednesday Nov 2021

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“Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. When there’s a big disappointment, we don’t know if that’s the end of the story. It may just be the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don’t know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just don’t know.” ― Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

Before I get to my date report I need to admit that I am still annoyed and disappointed about D.’s silence. Yet, I am not surprised.  Somehow I knew it the moment he canceled it.  As the hours passes and the silence increases it is just a confirmation that silence is his way of saying he changed his mind.  

I know we only had 2 dates, but it all about the sparks, the conversation, it was all about the huge potential.  I also knew that I was already seeing some potential issues. I worried about the difficult daughter.  I worried about the weird multiple jobs.

“Things change, so I have to change too.”
― Adam Scythe, Immortals, Vol. III.

I don’t like how he has chosen to do it, but I must accept.  I will never understand ghosting someone.  Why not send a quick text and say:  “ I changed my mind”.

Still, I remind myself of the agreement I have with my Guardian Angels.  They are allowed to take anyone and anything from my life that it is not and will not be good for me.  No questions asked.  It doesn’t need to make sense.

So, the situation with D.  doesn’t make sense to me, but if am to look back at my blog, there were many others unexplained disappearing acts. I am accepting it, thanking my guardian angels and moving on to the next.  There is always a next!

“It poured with rain the day I left. But I was filled with excitement, a strange exuberant sense of taking wing. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew what I needed. I needed a new land, a new race, a new language; and although I couldn’t have put it into words then, I needed a new mystery.” ― John Fowles, The Magus

Moving on to the date.

We met at 6:30pm at Sergio’s Restaurant in Pelham, NY.  It is a very beautiful and classy restaurant.  I was surprised that it was such a busy place on a Monday night.

I got there and he was already seated.  He got up and came to meet me.  We hugged hello.  He was handsome and looked like his pictures.  He had a white shirt and tie.  He wears one for work, but he mentioned he likes to dress well.

The conversation flowed.  He was a perfect gentleman.  He said I was beautiful two times.  I love compliments, but if it is too much, it makes me want to run.  I am glad he stopped at two.

To drink, he had an old fashioned and I had a cosmopolitan. My drink was delicious.  If I were not driving, I would have had a second one.

We didn’t want appetizers, and we both ordered the short ribs with risotto.  For dessert we shared a tiramisu and a napoleon, and they were both divine.

“All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.”  ― Mae West, Wit & Wisdom of Mae West

He is 52 years old and owns a funeral home. He has an amazing relationship with his 3 daughters.  Two are living on their own and a 14-year-old lives with him. He has been divorced for 8 years and gets along well with the ex-wife. 

We were at the restaurant for 3 hours.  At the end he walked me to my car, and I gave him a ride to his car around the corner.  When he was exiting my car he kissed me good bye. Then turned back and kissed me again.  It was just a couple of pecks on the lips.  

I am not sure if there are enough sparks. He is such a sweet person, such a gentleman, that I think it is worth a second date.  I am keeping an open mind.

“One can begin so many things with a new person! – even begin to be a better man.” ― George Eliot, Middlemarch

 

There we go again :-)

08 Monday Nov 2021

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“I might not yet be falling in love, but I might be flirting with the promise of love, the idea of love, the making of a place in my heart for love, though it may have been more a wish than a promise.”  ― Diane Meier, The Season of Second Chances

I have yet to see D. for a third date.  After the two successful dates, it is proving difficult for him to find the time to meet up.

He wanted to meet one day last week for lunch. I had deadlines at work and couldn’t leave.  I also don’t really like meeting up for lunch during the week.  I feel rushed having to go back to the office. 

Then on Friday night he asked me out for a late breakfast the following day.  It was last minute, but as faith would have my mosaic time at the studio had been canceled. So it seemed perfect.

We agreed on time.  He would pick me up and we would drive to a neighboring town.

Then Saturday morning this:

I was a little disappointed about the cancelation, and the fact that he has not contacted me again.  Last night I sent a quick hi, but heard nothing back.

I know he has been busier than usual with some issues. His ex-father in law passed away, and he had to provide support. I also know that his 17 year old daughter has issues, so he tries to really be there for her.  I understand and appreciate that.

BUT,

To me it is very simple. If he is not making more of an effort to see me then he is probably not that interested. 

He had mentioned that he has been divorced for 4 years and that he has waited until now to date because of his daughters.  Now the oldest one is in college and the 17 year old is soon to be off to college also.  Perhaps he should have waited another 6 months longer. 

I know it is very early to make this conclusion but I will not be surprised if I never hear from him again.  This is the nature of online dating.  People change their minds, and find it easier to just go silent.  

We bet on a game last week and I lost, so I owe him dinner. Perhaps he will want to collect.

It is disappointing because he seemed to be into me, as much as I was into him. We are both Aries, but I seem to be the more impatient of the two.  

If he can’t find the time for a third date, how could we ever make a relationship work?  I don’t want a partner that I will see once every other week.

While I am still trying to live in, and enjoy, the moment and have no expectations, I still want to feel important in somebody’s life.  Yes, even after only 2 dates!

**

“A bruise is a lesson… and each lesson makes us better.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Game of Thrones

and we keep going 🙂

Tonight I will be going on a date with a 52 year old, owner of a funeral home. I have met him on Bumble at the same time I met D., but I had not put much effort in meeting him until now. 

He seems like a nice guy.  He is divorced with 3 daughters.  The youngest is 14 years old.  I don’t know a lot about him.  I know he loves a couple of sports teams and travels around to see them play often. 

We shall see… I will report back tomorrow.

“Great things happen to those who don’t stop believing, trying, learning, and being grateful.” ― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

 

 

 

Dates updates: Easy does it

27 Wednesday Oct 2021

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world’s original sin. If the cave-man had known how to laugh, History would have been different.” ― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

There is not a lot to update you guys on.  Of the 3 guys that I was set to meet, D. is the only one that I was really excited about meeting and the only one I met so far.   

One of the guys canceled on me once, then I had to cancel on him.  We will eventually meet.  I am just not sure he is ready to date.  He is not yet fully divorced.  He has 3 little kids under the age of 5.  He seems to have a lot on his plate.  He does seem very nice and with an interesting background. I am willing to meet as friends.

The other one, we keep having scheduling conflicts. My heart is not really into it to make more of an effort.  I think his heart is not into it either. So we message every now and then, and is feeling more and more like a friendship.  I think we will become friends, and meet one of these days.

“So we won’t take ourselves too seriously. Because taking something serious doesn’t make it go away any faster. In fact, it keeps making it a little bit worse.” ― Ram Dass, Experiments in Truth

As far as D, we went on a second date on Saturday night.  We went to a small brewery called Diner Brew Co. near my apartment. We met late as he is committed to working late Saturdays for the next few months. 

I had a couple of rose wines and he had a couple beers. I was not hungry, as I had had dinner, but towards the end of the date I saw the free popcorn, and couldn’t stop eating it.  

Similar to the first date we had a great time. It was easy, fun, nothing bad or awkward about it.  Again it was all about enjoying ourselves.  We  laughed and joked the whole time.  We found out a little more about each other, but not too much.

I am really holding back on all the questioning and also volunteering of information.  We have time.  I don’t need to know everything about him right now, and he doesn’t need to know everything about me right now.  

I am not exactly sure why I am choosing to go about it this way.  I think that I normally ask many questions to try to find reasons to run.  

“And somebody might now want to ask me, “Can’t you ever be serious?” The answer is, “No.” ― Kurt Vonnegut, Armageddon in Retrospect: And Other New and Unpublished Writings on War and Peace

I don’t want the heaviness and burden that I feel when I know everything about someone.  It is as if I need to make a decision right away if he belongs in my future or not.  At this point I don’t feel like making final decisions.  

After leaving the brewery,  he walked me to my door.  There was some kissing goodbye, but nothing too much or embarrassing.

Since the second date we have either texted or talked most days.  I am not sure we will see each other this week, but I am sure we will see each other again.

I like this idea of going slow, and not have to talk/text every day and see each other often.  I like the slow and steady route, instead of crash and burn alternative. 🙂

“I like to prowl ordinary places.
I feel sorry for us all or glad for us
all
caught alive together
and awkward in that way.

there’s nothing better than the joke
of us
the seriousness of us
the dullness of us”
― Charles Bukowski, Play the Piano Drunk Like a Percussion Instrument Until the Fingers Begin to Bleed a Bit