Monthly Archives: March 2022

Making peace with my choices

31 Thursday Mar 2022

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“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” ― Theodore Roosevelt

My mom and I did it again.

She has done 4 times already and I am on my second, and, fingers crossed, the last.

Yes, if you guessed covid vaccine, you are right! Please come forward and collect your prize! 🙂

I got a booster shot. It was my second shot, as my first one was the one dose Johnson and Johnson. This one was Pfizer.

“When people will not weed their own minds, they are apt to be overrun by nettles.” ― Horace Walpole

This is not a pro-vaccine or anti-vaccine post. This is just a post about my not wanting to take the booster shot but in the end giving in, and making the decision that feels right for me right now.   It was not an easy decision at all.

In Brazil they started giving a fourth dose weeks ago.  My mother has already gotten it.  I found out after the fact, not that I would try to talk her out of it either.  My mom is soon to be 87 and she feels very protected by getting it.

I didn’t want to get a booster at all. I didn’t want to get the vaccine either, but ended up getting it because I was going to travel to Brazil to see my parents. I felt that I needed to do it for them. Once I did it, I felt it was the right choice for me.

Then came the booster and again I felt I had to get it because of my travels to Brazil.  I kept waiting, hoping that I would get confirmation that a booster is not required, but that hasn’t come.

“Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right.” ― Phillip C. McGraw

A friend that has just returned from Brazil said she was asked to show her vaccination card with the booster. Everything is so uncertain with the requirements that I chose to be on the safe side and take the booster, specially because my 1 dose JNJ is now over 1 year old.

I cannot postpone my trip to Brazil until I am sure I don’t need a booster. I have to go see my parents and brother and bring my mom over for her biannually trip here. She hasn’t been here in over 2 years.  She is a green card holder and is risking losing that status.

I have friends on both sides of this aisle. I have the ones that were shocked that it took me so long to get the booster.  And I have friends that were against the vaccine and didn’t want me to take the booster at all.

At the end of the day, they all understand that this is a personal decision. They respect my decision and I respect theirs. I had to choose what seemed to be best for me in my circumstances. 

I just heard about a new variant in Europe. Lord help us all!

“You are not the victim of the world, but rather the master of your own destiny. It is your choices and decisions that determine your destiny.” ― Roy T. Bennett

When the ego is out of line

27 Sunday Mar 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Finding Me

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“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” ― Rumi

Yesterday B and I celebrated our 1 month anniversary!  Yes, you heard me… 1 whole month!   I will be that annoying person that celebrate monthly anniversaries.  No longer counting dates, I now count months. 

We went to Tapas & Cucina, a restaurant that I like that is located in Eastchester, NY.  We shared different tapas.  We had spicy potatoes, meatballs, empanadas and eggplant. I had a passion fruit mimosa and he had chardonnay.   He stays away from sugar so he didn’t have dessert. I had the tiramisu.

He brought me beautiful flowers (that ones on the picture above).  He is very sweet and tender with me. It is so comfortable being with him.

But not everything is flowers. There are some thorns, and it is mostly my overreacting.

“Make your ego porous. Will is of little importance, complaining is nothing, fame is nothing. Openness, patience, receptivity, solitude is everything.” ― Rainer Maria Rilke

I continue, often subconsciously, to look for excuses/reasons to run. I am trying to be aware and immediately stop anytime I feel myself going down that rabbit hole of self-sabotage.

He is trying hard to be understanding, and I am trying hard just being in the moment and not creating problems where there are none.

This time I had a problem when he changed the radio station in the car after I had chosen a radio station.     

I didn’t say anything at the moment, but he already knows me well and could sense it.  I am always talking, going silent for any amount of time signals to him that something is wrong.

“The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind-pattern. Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist.” ― Eckhart Tolle

He asked: “Ana, come back, where did you go?  What happened?”

I said: ” nothing”,  but when he insisted I mentioned the radio. I was trying to work out the situation on my own and not say anything, but in the end I rather be transparent and say exactly what is going on.  He apologized profusely.  He said he thought he had asked me.

I understand how petty that is, but for some reason, any little thing can have me looking into the future, and predicting doom.  My ego was trying hard to make me believe that his changing the radio station meant he didn’t respect my choices.

After some time, I was able to shut my ego down, and forget about the radio, and we proceeded to have an awesome night.

I am not proud of my moody behavior. I am, however, proud that I am able to recognize some of my patterns and that I am actively working on changing them.  Baby steps.

“Don’t Just

Don’t just learn, experience.
Don’t just read, absorb.
Don’t just change, transform.
Don’t just relate, advocate.
Don’t just promise, prove.
Don’t just criticize, encourage.
Don’t just think, ponder.
Don’t just take, give.
Don’t just see, feel.
Don’t just dream, do.
Don’t just hear, listen.
Don’t just talk, act.
Don’t just tell, show.
Don’t just exist, live.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

I think I see a bird… yes, it is a bird!

22 Tuesday Mar 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Mosaic and other crafts

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“I would like to paint the way a bird sings.” ― Claude Monet

Here is my newest project. It is supposed to be a bird in a snowy forest, as you can see on the Christmas card (1st pic below) that inspired me. 

Each little piece of glass was cut by hand. At the end of every session I had some nicks and cuts. I love working with mosaics so much I don’t mind a little pain.

I am just glad that it does resemble a bird, or does it?

“The reason birds can fly and we can’t is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings.” ― J.M. Barrie, The Little White Bird

“For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words may indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly.” ― Kahlil Gibran

“In order to see birds it is necessary to become a part of the silence.” ― Robert Lynd

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” ― Stephen King, Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption

 

It is just one date, not a lifetime commitment

20 Sunday Mar 2022

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“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.” ― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

On Thursday B and I were going to a restaurant I like. It was a rainy, cold, dreary day, so in the afternoon I called him and suggested we eat something at his house.

He then asked: What would you like to eat? 

I am eternally confused by simple questions. Give me a life and death decision and I will give you an answer in seconds. Ask me what I want to eat and I can ponder about it for hours. 

No, I didn’t say I wanted pizza.  It is best that we do pizza in the future.  Eventually we settled on him making omelets.   

I got to his house and everything was on the way.  He had bacon going in the oven. The skillet was ready to make the omelets. He was very nervous about making sure that he cooked everything to my taste. 

In under 15 minutes, we were sitting and eating omelets with cheese and spinach, with a side of roasted sweet potatoes and bacon.  Everything was delicious.  

I helped him load the dishwasher, then we then settled on the couch, sipping wine and talking.  We do like each other, and yet I am already predicting the end.  I proceeded to tell him all the roadblocks we will face. 

He interrupted me: “I remember you saying you are trying to be more in the moment.  How about we just take it easy and go one day at a time?”

It should be that simple, shouldn’t it?  But I overthink.  I fear hurting and getting hurt, so I am ready to run before too much energy and feelings are invested. 

But, no worries, not running yet.  I just keep looking for reason to.

“Don’t let toxic people infect you with the fear of giving and receiving one of the most powerful forces in this world… LOVE!” ― Yvonne Pierre, The Day My Soul Cried: A Memoir

Last night  we decided it would be movie night.  I had a lot to do during the day, so I said I would go over to his house at 8pm and I would bring popcorn.

I got to his house, and I wasn’t feeling well.  I had eaten some leftover potatoes for dinner and they felt so heavy in my stomach that I got to his house and I was feeling so heavy and uncomfortable.  I took alka seltzer, charcoal and seltzer water.  About 1 hour later I was fine and able to eat popcorn.

After flipping through a bunch of movies we settled on something called The Voyeurs. What a strange movie.  It seemed full of potential but then it just turned weird and the ending very far-fetched.  I don’t recommend it.

We had fun, but I would be lying if I didn’t acknowledge that, once again, I talked about our differences.  He is probably sick of hearing it.  I am sick of discussing it. I am the queen of 1 or 2 dates, more than that and I began to feel imprisoned. 

I am trying to change. I will change it. Doing the same thing, doesn’t promote growth. It just promotes sameness! I am trying to step out, out of the comfort of being single, of being alone.  

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” ― Frank Herbert, Dune

 

Never too old to play the field

17 Thursday Mar 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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“Most people don’t grow up. Most people age. They find parking spaces, honor their credit cards, get married, have children, and call that maturity. What that is, is aging.” ― Maya Angelou

Yesterday I reached out to say hello to a friend I hadn’t spoken to in weeks.  In the past few years every time I reach out to her, I ask her about her friend T.   T is a friend of hers that lives in her building.  Even though it is not official, everyone thinks they are more than friends.

They accompany each other to functions, they celebrate holidays together, and get together with each other’s families.  She always mentions him in our communications, and when I say he is her boyfriend she plays coy, but always smiles and giggles. 

“It`s not how old you are, it`s how you are old.” ― Jules Renard

When she mentioned there is someone else interested in her, and by the way she wrote, it seemed she is also interested in him, I was surprised.   

She wrote: “S is interested in having a relationship with me.”  She continued: “He had joked about it in the past, but now he is serious.” “He said I am the best looking girl here.”

I was a little taken aback. I have met S. before when I visited my friend there a few years ago.  They all live in the same senior building.  I also met S’s girlfriend.  Yes, he has a girlfriend.  One, that supposedly, is not fulfilling all his needs.

“And the beauty of a woman, with passing years only grows!” ― Audrey Hepburn

My friend is all conflicted with S throwing her this curve ball.  She is enjoying his attention, and I can tell she is considering his proposition.  She says that it seems that T only wants to be friends.

I was a little surprised by the whole thing.  Everyone involved in this foursome is over 80 years old!! I doubt S informed his girlfriend of his shift in interest.  I am happy that wanting love and affection never gets old.  

She wanted my advice.  My advice, this time and every time, to anyone, in any situation is: Do what brings you joy!  Follow your heart!

“To all, I would say how mistaken they are when they think that they stop falling in love when they grow old, without knowing that they grow old when they stop falling in love.” ― Gabriel Garcia Marquez 

 

The pizza date, I mean, debacle

15 Tuesday Mar 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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“After a full belly all is poetry.” ― Frank McCourt

I got to his house at 4:30pm on Sunday.  He met me with a hug at the porch.

After some pleasantries while I removed my coat. He proceeded to give me a tour of the house. It is a big house, and the décor is country chic. He is a Virgo and it shows.  Everything is clean and organized. Even the attic and basement are impeccable. 

After the tour he poured us a glass of wine and we settled on the couch.  We talked and talked and talked. I am never comfortable with silence, so, if there is any I will pepper it with questions.  The good thing is that I am able to get a lot of information. 

We talked about our plans for the future, and that is where there are some details that I need to think about.  It seems there will be some compromising I will have to do if I want a relationship with him. Well, any relationship requires some compromising.  I just need to decide if I am willing to.  I will save those details for a next post.

We were very happy to be together.  There are tons of  chemistry between us. Fireworks and sparks were flying. There was some kissing and snuggling on the couch.

The only time there was silence was when I laid my head on his shoulders and I think I may have dozed off.  At one point he said something about being 8 o’clock and perhaps too late for pizza.  I didn’t hear him well and asked him to repeat it.  He then asked me if I was hungry and if I wanted him to make pizza.  Odd question since pizza is what I went there for. I told him that.

“The belly is an ungrateful wretch, it never remembers past favors, it always wants more tomorrow.” ― Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn, One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich

In the following 30 minutes he asked me the same thing at least 3 times, but didn’t get up to make the pizza.  It was cozy just snuggling on the couch, but I started being aware of how hungry I was.  I also started thinking that by the time the pizza is ready for the oven and ready for eat, it will take another hour.  I don’t like to get home late on Sunday night.

I mentioned that I have a tendency to get hangry.  He said he did also. But still nothing. All of a sudden the hunger just hit me and I just got up and said that I had to leave.  He was a bit startled by my abruptness. 

He again asked me if I wanted him to make me pizza.  I said I would eat something at home.  He offered to make me a sandwich, but by now it was too late, I just wanted to leave.  I know how I get when I am starving and I didn’t want to go there. I didn’t want to become this mean, angry, short-tempered person right there in his home.

In seconds I put my shoes on, grabbed my coat and bag and left. It had snowed a little, so he came out and helped me clear my car. That slowed down my departure by a couple of minutes.

When I got home I texted him.  The text exchange is below. I was still hungry and a bit annoyed so my text was short, but not sweet.   He didn’t reply until the following morning.  I replied to him but he was silent until this very minute.  I am not sure what to say.  Something did go wrong the other night: There was no pizza!  The funny thing is I don’t even care that much about pizza.

I did have a great time and it is a shame that the night ended in such a way.  It could have been different if I had asked for something to eat, or told him to get the pizza going faster.  I didn’t think of it until he mentioned was already 8pm.

I always feel I can be too demanding and domineering. I often take the lead and start telling people what to do.  I also felt that he asked me over for pizza, so perhaps the pizza should have been further along by the time I got there, more than just the dough in a bowl.

Because I didn’t want to be a pushy, demanding person, I got too hungry and instead I became this crazy hungry monster that just ran out.  

“An empty stomach is not a good political adviser.” ― Albert Einstein

The 4th date and a misframe

13 Sunday Mar 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating, Mosaic and other crafts

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“I find only sadness and melancholy when I wade through the past, even when revisiting good memories. The past is gone; I can neither grasp it nor reshape it. Therefore, I must force my eyes to look toward the future where my mortal powers thrive.” ― Richelle E. Goodrich, Being Bold: Quotes, Poetry, & Motivations for Every Day of the Year

The fourth date was on Thursday night.  We met at a wine bar called Aura.  He remembered that this is the same place we had our second date 5 years ago.  At that time the place was called Gnarly Vine. 

He remembers everything about the few dates that we had 5 years ago.  He remembers where we went, what I said, etc.  I don’t remember anything, but as he shares what he remembers, bits and pieces come back to me.

It is crazy that I totally blocked out any memory of dates with him.  I remember liking him, and that is it.  My lack of memory of the past it is probably a combination of covid mental fogginess plus selective memory.  No sense in dwelling in the past.

We agreed to stop talking about the past and focus on the present. We are happy that we are getting a do-over.

If he doesn’t have to drive his daughter back to college tomorrow, Sunday, I will be going to his house for homemade pizza.  I am looking forward to seeing his home.  One can tell a lot from how a person lives. Fingers crossed that she is able to get a ride.

“. . .Looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them.”
― L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

While I was waiting for my latest piece (a bird) to dry, I decided to do a picture frame.  It was going to be a gift for my brother, but then came the flowers and the butterfly. And instead of grout I used glitter, tons of glitter.  It is hard to see the glitter in the picture.  It is no longer for my brother 🙂

A post about everything

09 Wednesday Mar 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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Unlike Seinfeld, this post is about everything.

Bali is not enough!

I told the overly excited accountant that I am not interested in a second date.  He said: “It sounds like you have somebody else.”  I said: “No, that’s not it.”

And that is the truth.  Even if I was not interested in the Older guy from the past, I would still be saying no to him.  Being alone is not an issue for me. Being with the wrong person is.

He was a nice guy and he was trying hard. I feel for him.  He said he got divorced because his wife left him for a guy that made more money.  He is now very proud to be making a lot money.  Every conversation is about how well his business ventures are doing.

He was even talking about vacations in Bali.  He showed me the Instagram photos of the villa in Bali where we would be staying in.  All very tempting, but not tempting enough to forget that I know he is not the one for me.

“Rise above the deceptions and temptations of the mind. This is your duty. You are born for this only; all other duties are self-created and self-imposed owing to ignorance.” ― Sivananda

On the way to one month and more

Tomorrow night it will be the fourth date with B.  I will call him B. instead of Older Guy from the Past.  When do I stop counting dates?  Perhaps when it hits one month.  Then I will start counting months, then years.  Yes, I am feeling ambitious.

But no, I am not making any plans more than one date at a time.  The future no one knows, I will know when I get there. For now I am enjoying the infinite possibilities of the present moment.

“You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope.” – Thomas Merton

Peaceful time at work

There were two people at work that really annoyed me.  There was the guy that blocked me.  I thought I had canceled him, but turns out I cannot cancel co-workers on this program. So I blocked him back when he tried contacting me.  He now has to use email to reach me. That has been working fine.

The second was a woman that, one day would act as your best friend and the next would bit your head off.  She would become so defensive that it was impossible to have a conversation.  Things got a little better when she decided to just continuing working from home. She was easier to avoid over the phone.

She was fired this week.  While I am happy I will have peace from her, I feel bad when anyone gets fired.  Her firing had nothing to do with me.  It was due to poor performance.  If she were still bringing money to the company, she would still be here annoying me.

Sending her good wishes. May she find a better fit for her.

“Being agreeable didn’t make people less difficult.” ― Stewart O’Nan, Henry, Himself

It is like looking for a boyfriend, only worst

I am in search of a Primary care doctor.  I never cared for the one I had.  He never discussed anything.  I always felt he was in a hurry.  Am I asking too much for a little more time and attention?  Is it crazy to want a primary care doctor to go over blood test results, especially if some numbers are high?  His assistants were also the worst.

He has been my doctor for the past 4 years. I don’t like changes, but decided that keeping him because I don’t like changes is stupid. Similar to dating, I decided to start looking until I find the right one for me.

Also, on the health topic, I have scheduled an appointment with a gastroenterologist.  Since I contracted covid at the end of December, I have chronic heartburn.  I removed some of the foods that seemed to trigger it, and I keep taking Pepcid AC, Omeprazole, and other medications. Those helped a little.  At this point, my family and friends are worried and want me to have it checked.  I will also be speaking to the doctor about getting a colonoscopy.  I never had it, and I think the time is now.

“Doctors always think anybody doing something they aren’t is a quack; also they think all patients are idiots.” ― Flannery O’Connor, The Habit of Being: Letters of Flannery O’Connor

That is all for now folks!!  Thank you for the joy you give me when you visit!  I offer you a calorie free virtual slice of homemade chocolate cake. ♥♥  I would offer you Godiva Chocolates if I had any 😉

 

Giving it another shot

07 Monday Mar 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, EX Files, Finding Me

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Update on the date, well, dates, with the man that I had a few dates with 5 years ago. 

1st date. Feb 25. We met at Modern Restaurant.  I had a lychee martini, he had chardonnay.  We shared meatballs and zucchini frites.  Everything was delicious.

When I walked in he was sitting at the bar.  I approached him and hugged him hello. I don’t think he was expecting a hug. I had wondered what would be like seeing him after 5 years.  Nothing had changed.  There was still chemistry.

We quickly got started in updating each other.  When we last saw each other, my sister was just moving to the US.  Now it will be 5 years that she is here.  His daughter was starting High School, now she is in college.

He is not struggling with thoughts of the dead wife anymore. At this point he is done with the grieving process and has been actively dating.  I always thought the reason he ghosted me was that he couldn’t forget the wife.

He is the oldest man I ever dated.  He is 65 years old.  I normally get along better with younger men, but, for some reason, there is something about him.

At the end, he drove me home, a whole block away 😊.  At my door, I just said bye and left the car, there was no kissing or anything and it was perfect like that.

“I had to heal… I had to stop trying to nourish my present life with expired moments. I had to move on… So that I could experience new love without being afraid of old pain.” ― Steve Maraboli

On Sunday, Feb 27, he texted me, but I had to keep the texting short as I was getting ready to go to dinner.

On Tuesday, Feb 29, he texted again and asked if I wanted to go to dinner.  I said yes and we decided to meet the next day. He then wrote: “I will pick you up.” 

I said: “oh you will pick me up?”

He said: “yes, you mentioned you don’t like driving”

Stuff like that means the world to me.  It shows that he was paying attention to what I was saying, and to my likes and dislikes. 

People pay attention: Show you care by your actions and not by words.

We went to Rio Bravo, a Mexican Restaurant in Larchmont. I had chimichangas and he had the enchilada. I had a mojito and he had wine.

The conversation flowed and he mentioned that he didn’t think he ghosted me, he thought I was not interested.  In our last date 5 years ago, he said I was mad when I met him for dinner.  He had texted me something more risqué, and I thought it was too much too soon.  Then during dinner my sister called to mention the fire alarm going off, and I said I had to leave.  He thought there was no alarm and it was something that was pre-arranged to cut the date short.

I was shocked as I remembered none of it.  While I definitely didn’t plan on my sister calling to bail me, I am recalling bits and pieces of that evening.  I remember being moody about something. 

He also mentioned that at that point in time, he definitely was not in a mental space to date.  Perhaps we are both in a better space now.  Perhaps we are both older and wiser.

When he dropped me at my door we kissed good bye.  It was short, sweet and perfect.

“New love is grand. Savor all the crazy, muddled might of it.”
― Eli Easton, The Mating of Michael

The third date was on Friday, March 4th.  He offered to pick me up but I said I would drive.  I don’t like driving but it made more sense.  He lives near the place we were going to. 

I rather let him pick me up when the place is hard to get to, and parking is not easily available.

We went to Chat American Grill in Scarsdale, NY.  I had a couple of passion fruit cosmopolitans and he had chardonnay.  That is his drink of choice.  We shared some appetizers of spring rolls, salad and artichoke.   

When we left we walked to his car and he drove me back to mine.  There was some kissing involved.  And it was good. 😊

It is a bit scary to find someone I really like after so long, specially someone that I had a some history with.  I am trying hard not to start sabotaging this, and to give it a real chance. 

I am doing all I can to stay in the moment, and enjoy all as is. It may last or it may not, and that is not the point.  The point is not to waste the moment trying to control the outcome.

“I know you think I’m crazy. Maybe that’s because I am. About life, about this moment, about you.” ― Crystal Woods, Write like no one is reading

Pay me no compliments, tell me no lies!

03 Thursday Mar 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

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On Sunday I had a first date with the accountant that lives over an hour away in NJ.  He hit traffic, so it turned into an even longer drive.  He kept me informed along the way.  We ended up meeting an hour later than expected.

Unbeknownst to him, he picked a place within walking distance from me, Alvin and Friends, so his lateness was not a problem for me.  The food was great, I had ribs.  Yes, I had ribs on a first date!  He had the rosemary chicken.  Both delicious! 

The drinks were awful.  Later I saw that there seemed to be no bartender, the hostess appeared to be making the drinks. I sent my drink back.  I also mentioned to the waitress that they got my date’s order wrong.  He thought it was cute that I was “defending him”.  His words.

I am not a complainer and normally don’t make a big deal about things, but when it seems that the wait staff is not paying attention and is just careless, I will speak up. Politely.      

Getting back to the date.  He is better in person, in all senses.  He was handsome, funny, and very intelligent.  The conversation was great.

BUT, there is always a but!  He paid me compliments!  Yes, how dared he!!! Lol

I mean, he paid me too many compliments.  Yes, there is such a thing.  He went on and on, on how I was beautiful, smart, fun, etc.  He said that I was animated and talked with my hands.  He said my happiness was contagious. He would look at me with puppy eyes and marvel at how beautiful I was. It was over the top. 

The next day, Monday morning, he texted me at 7:03am, see below.  I made a point of not replying until later.

His enthusiasm is definitely too much too soon. This hurry, this sense of urgency, smells of despair and neediness, and that is not a great smell on a man, or anyone, for that matter.  It makes me feel it is not about how great I am, but instead, it is about how needy they are.

I think he is a great guy, but this hurry, just makes me want to run.  With the experience of that last guy, I am not even telling him to slow down anymore.  I am just talking to him tonight,  wishing him luck and moving on.  They may say they can slow down, but they really can’t.