Tag Archives: slow down

Pay me no compliments, tell me no lies!

03 Thursday Mar 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating

≈ 31 Comments

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On Sunday I had a first date with the accountant that lives over an hour away in NJ.  He hit traffic, so it turned into an even longer drive.  He kept me informed along the way.  We ended up meeting an hour later than expected.

Unbeknownst to him, he picked a place within walking distance from me, Alvin and Friends, so his lateness was not a problem for me.  The food was great, I had ribs.  Yes, I had ribs on a first date!  He had the rosemary chicken.  Both delicious! 

The drinks were awful.  Later I saw that there seemed to be no bartender, the hostess appeared to be making the drinks. I sent my drink back.  I also mentioned to the waitress that they got my date’s order wrong.  He thought it was cute that I was “defending him”.  His words.

I am not a complainer and normally don’t make a big deal about things, but when it seems that the wait staff is not paying attention and is just careless, I will speak up. Politely.      

Getting back to the date.  He is better in person, in all senses.  He was handsome, funny, and very intelligent.  The conversation was great.

BUT, there is always a but!  He paid me compliments!  Yes, how dared he!!! Lol

I mean, he paid me too many compliments.  Yes, there is such a thing.  He went on and on, on how I was beautiful, smart, fun, etc.  He said that I was animated and talked with my hands.  He said my happiness was contagious. He would look at me with puppy eyes and marvel at how beautiful I was. It was over the top. 

The next day, Monday morning, he texted me at 7:03am, see below.  I made a point of not replying until later.

His enthusiasm is definitely too much too soon. This hurry, this sense of urgency, smells of despair and neediness, and that is not a great smell on a man, or anyone, for that matter.  It makes me feel it is not about how great I am, but instead, it is about how needy they are.

I think he is a great guy, but this hurry, just makes me want to run.  With the experience of that last guy, I am not even telling him to slow down anymore.  I am just talking to him tonight,  wishing him luck and moving on.  They may say they can slow down, but they really can’t. 

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MY HIPS DON’T LIE! Neither does my back!

02 Thursday May 2013

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

≈ 31 Comments

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I had 2 MRIs done and the conclusion of one doctor is that I have mild degeneration of disks L4 and L5 in my lower back and that the problem with my hip is Iliotibial Band Syndrome.  Upon some Google research I became confused with the IBS diagnosis as that is mostly an injury to the knee, very common in runners.  It appears that what I really have is Trochanteric Bursities.  I guess they are related or perhaps easily confused.

Researching ailments online is both a blessing and a curse.  A lot information on my fingertips, but my head is spinning.  There are many conflicting opinions.  Which site should I trust?  I guess I will follow this doctor while making an appointment to get a second opinion with a specialist in back pain.

I am happy to at least have a diagnosis and start on the road to treatment and recovery.  The doctor prescribed anti-inflammatory and physical therapy.  I started the medication already,  but not the physical therapy yet.

The word degeneration is such a bad word.  It makes me feel old and brittle! Nothing about me should be degenerating, not now, not ever!

How did I get here?  Very simple, I overdid.  I am the type of person that has a problem with the word moderation, there is no middle ground with me, it is either 0 or 100.  Too much too soon!

I overdid with my volunteer work.  I didn’t respect my body limitations; I worked 10 hours a day like a horse. It felt amazing for my heart and mind, but my body paid for.

I overdid with Zumba. Instead of starting slow and building up I went full force 3-4 times a week. Okay, so I am from Brazil, I love to dance and rhythm is in my blood, but do I have to leave it all in the gym floor?

Then there were the 6 flights of stairs at work and at home that I took, 2 steps at a time, instead of the elevator.  It turns out that stair climbing is one of the worst things for my hip.

This experience, like everything else in life, is a tremendous learning opportunity.

I have to respect my body limitations.  I have had issues with my lower back for a long time.  I have to learn to deal with it, stretch it and strengthen it and not to just learn to live with pain.

Slow and steady wins the racy.  Anything that is achieved over a longer period of time seems to me to be longer lasting, such as love and weight loss.  Instant may seem very gratifying but it is oftentimes fleeting.

Another reminder to slow down and enjoy the process, the details, without only focusing on the result.  Just when I thought I was within minutes of having the body I wanted I get this major setback. But setbacks are important, it makes one refocus, and question the process. So onwards and upwards with the treatment.  No time for frustrations and crying around. Time to refocus and rebuild.

I am not 20 years old anymore, even though my heart and mind think I am! I have only one body and it is not indestructible.

What I know for sure is that I have to take care of my body the best that I can.  Another thing is I will do anything in my power not to give up tennis or skiing.

My unshakable optimism welcomes this chance to show itself! I am counting my blessings… 1) Thank you for this highly functioning body that is able to tell me when something is wrong!  2) Thank you for this chance to reevaluate my exercise and volunteering choices!  3) Thank you for having an insurance plan and access to some of the best doctors and equipment in the field!  4) Thank you for having this blog to be able to talk about it … and on and on and on, thank you, thank you, thank you!