Update on the date, well, dates, with the man that I had a few dates with 5 years ago.
1st date. Feb 25. We met at Modern Restaurant. I had a lychee martini, he had chardonnay. We shared meatballs and zucchini frites. Everything was delicious.
When I walked in he was sitting at the bar. I approached him and hugged him hello. I don’t think he was expecting a hug. I had wondered what would be like seeing him after 5 years. Nothing had changed. There was still chemistry.
We quickly got started in updating each other. When we last saw each other, my sister was just moving to the US. Now it will be 5 years that she is here. His daughter was starting High School, now she is in college.
He is not struggling with thoughts of the dead wife anymore. At this point he is done with the grieving process and has been actively dating. I always thought the reason he ghosted me was that he couldn’t forget the wife.
He is the oldest man I ever dated. He is 65 years old. I normally get along better with younger men, but, for some reason, there is something about him.
At the end, he drove me home, a whole block away 😊. At my door, I just said bye and left the car, there was no kissing or anything and it was perfect like that.
“I had to heal… I had to stop trying to nourish my present life with expired moments. I had to move on… So that I could experience new love without being afraid of old pain.” ― Steve Maraboli
On Sunday, Feb 27, he texted me, but I had to keep the texting short as I was getting ready to go to dinner.
On Tuesday, Feb 29, he texted again and asked if I wanted to go to dinner. I said yes and we decided to meet the next day. He then wrote: “I will pick you up.”
I said: “oh you will pick me up?”
He said: “yes, you mentioned you don’t like driving”
Stuff like that means the world to me. It shows that he was paying attention to what I was saying, and to my likes and dislikes.
People pay attention: Show you care by your actions and not by words.
We went to Rio Bravo, a Mexican Restaurant in Larchmont. I had chimichangas and he had the enchilada. I had a mojito and he had wine.
The conversation flowed and he mentioned that he didn’t think he ghosted me, he thought I was not interested. In our last date 5 years ago, he said I was mad when I met him for dinner. He had texted me something more risqué, and I thought it was too much too soon. Then during dinner my sister called to mention the fire alarm going off, and I said I had to leave. He thought there was no alarm and it was something that was pre-arranged to cut the date short.
I was shocked as I remembered none of it. While I definitely didn’t plan on my sister calling to bail me, I am recalling bits and pieces of that evening. I remember being moody about something.
He also mentioned that at that point in time, he definitely was not in a mental space to date. Perhaps we are both in a better space now. Perhaps we are both older and wiser.
When he dropped me at my door we kissed good bye. It was short, sweet and perfect.
“New love is grand. Savor all the crazy, muddled might of it.”
― Eli Easton, The Mating of Michael
The third date was on Friday, March 4th. He offered to pick me up but I said I would drive. I don’t like driving but it made more sense. He lives near the place we were going to.
I rather let him pick me up when the place is hard to get to, and parking is not easily available.
We went to Chat American Grill in Scarsdale, NY. I had a couple of passion fruit cosmopolitans and he had chardonnay. That is his drink of choice. We shared some appetizers of spring rolls, salad and artichoke.
When we left we walked to his car and he drove me back to mine. There was some kissing involved. And it was good. 😊
It is a bit scary to find someone I really like after so long, specially someone that I had a some history with. I am trying hard not to start sabotaging this, and to give it a real chance.
I am doing all I can to stay in the moment, and enjoy all as is. It may last or it may not, and that is not the point. The point is not to waste the moment trying to control the outcome.
“I know you think I’m crazy. Maybe that’s because I am. About life, about this moment, about you.” ― Crystal Woods, Write like no one is reading