Monthly Archives: February 2022

Imagine, Hope and Pray

27 Sunday Feb 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message

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Sending prayers to the people of Ukraine and to all around the world that are suffering and feeling unsafe.

Imagine-John Lennon

Imagine there’s no Heaven
It’s easy if you try
No Hell below us
Above us only sky

Imagine all the people
Livin’ for today
Aaa haa

Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too

Imagine all the people
Livin’ life in peace
Yoo hoo

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people
Sharin’ all the world
Yoo hoo

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope someday you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

 

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My dating life, or lack thereof

25 Friday Feb 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating

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“If someone is able to show me that what I think or do is not right, I will happily change, for I seek the truth, by which no one was ever truly harmed. It is the person who continues in his self-deception and ignorance who is harmed.” ― Marcus Aurelius

I haven’t gone on many dates lately, just a drink here and there.   I am busy with work, and most of the guys I have been matched with don’t seem to be good matches for me.

Most guys are either too young or live too far.  Some of the older ones are retired in Florida.  I am not moving to Florida any time soon, or ever.

Then, there are the usual jerks.   As an example, there was this one guy that asked if I was vaccinated.  I said yes.  He then replied:

“I need to be with someone who is intelligent enough to see through the narratives. Look at what they’re doing in Canada now. Martial Law.”

I was shocked.   There is really no response to that.  I just closed the chat.  

This, to me, is not about being pro or against the vaccine, but about people being so judgmental, inflexible and unwilling to have a conversation about different opinions; or the assumption of a different opinion.  

For the record: I don’t mind talking about the vaccine.  I was vaccinated because I felt I had to.  Once I got the 1 dose of JNJ, I felt it was the right decision for me at that point.  I have not gotten the booster yet.  I am still on the fence, leaning towards not getting it.

I got covid in December and I am still struggling with some remaining issues: heartburn, mental fogginess and anxiety. Would it have been worst without the shot? 

“I am what I might term an unprejudiced sceptic. I am not given to either believing or disbelieving things ‘on principle,’ as I have found many idiots prone to be, and what is more, some of them not ashamed to boast of the insane fact.” ― William Hope Hodgson

Moving on. Some of the guys that I am talking to and deciding if I am going to meet or not:

The hypnotist:  I am afraid he will hypnotize me.  I am scared he will turn me into a chicken or worse, make me believe I am so in love with him. Kidding/no kidding.   He gave me his whole information and I checked him out.  He is legit.    

The very young and very cute:  There are a couple of them.  They are both in their early 40s.  I am not.  Is it worth meeting guys where the relationship will go nowhere?  Probably not, but they have been so charming and, so far, saying all the right things.

The wordy accountant:  I may meet this one on Sunday.   I am not sure.  He lives over an hour away, but says he doesn’t mind driving to my area.  He is going on and on about the fact that he is looking for a long-term relationship and not a one night stand.  Is he trying to convince me or himself?

“Potential requires exploration.”
― Laurence Galian

***

Tonight I am going to have drinks with someone I went on a couple of dates with, 5 years ago.  I wrote about him in a couple of posts.  He is the guy (widower) that I mention towards the end of this post:

What is so bad about being being positive?

It is just a drink to catch up.  He was a nice guy, but reading back I realized that he kind of ghosted me.  I am keeping an open mind.  But I am doubly cautious about embarking in anything.  I keep saying I want to make new mistakes…

“The past is never where you think you left it.”
― Katherine Anne Porter

“Happy Woman Having an Off Day”

21 Monday Feb 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Mosaic and other crafts

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I love, love, love this piece. It came out of nowhere. This is a piece that makes me feel that I do have a creative bone in my body.

As I was organizing some glass pieces for another project a saw this face materialize in front of me. I abandoned what I was going to do and decide to finish the face.

The same day at the studio, there was a woman that I often see there.  She has been doing mosaic for years, and does commission pieces. 

She is always talking, always having fun.  We have a good time together.  On that day she was quiet and gloomy.  She was not her usual self.  She said that there was not a specific reason, she was just having an off day. 

It was definitely a different energy with her being so quiet.  I was trying to make jokes and cheer her up.

For some reason the tiles in front of me made me think of her.  Perhaps the pained, sad look and the short hair.  I announced that I was naming the piece after her.  

She was so happy.  I could see glimpses of her usual self returning.  She said that there was never anything named after her, and she was over the moon.   

Fast forward a couple of weeks. I was at the studio working on this project and another woman heard that I had named this piece after her friend.

She said: “It doesn’t look like her.” I said: “I know.  It is not supposed to look like her.  It is just the idea of her.” 

She appeared a bit annoyed, but didn’t say anything.  Later on, she said, out of the blue: “People should be careful about naming pieces after people, specially since it doesn’t look like them.”

I said: “She knows and she is happy about it.”

She then said: “Sometimes people hide their feelings.”

What? I was so shocked with that statement.  I said: “I am sorry you think that way.  I will ask her about it.  There is no way that I would do anything to hurt her or anyone.”

I was going to ask the woman herself about it, but then the studio closed for 2 months and I haven’t see her again.  For now the piece is nameless.  None of my pieces have names, but for some reason I feel this one needs it. 

For now the name is “Happy Woman Having an Off Day”.   I welcome ideas for a different name.

Since when the world got so sensitive? It is just a name on a piece. It is not a portrait, and not meant to look like the person.  It is meant as a compliment, just a fun and nice gesture.

I feel her friend created an issue where there was none.  But, I guess, I could be wrong. I have been wrong before 🙂

I have learned a lesson. Well, I am trying to learn the lesson.   I am very impulsive, and often say what comes to mind.  Naming the piece right then and there was an impulse.  I can’t assume that everyone would be okay with that.

Toning myself down is hard. I was not intent in causing pain. But, as they say: The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

In the meantime, I had to hold back tears when the woman told me that I was perhaps insulting and hurting her friend. Who is the sensitive now?

“And why is it, thought Lara, that my fate is to see everything and take it all so much to heart?”
― Boris Pasternak

 

Skiing Day at Hunter Mountain

14 Monday Feb 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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“If everything seems under control, you’re not going fast enough.” ― Mario Andretti

I hope everyone had a great Valentines Day! Around here it was uneventful. No flowers or Godiva chocolates ☹ Not complaining, just stating a fact.  

On Sunday I had the skiing date. Well, it was not really a date, I should just say: I went skiing with a friend.  There was not a word or gesture of romance, and I am happy about that.  We are definitely perfect as friends.

I left home very early Sunday morning and stopped by his lake house, that it is half way to mountain.  He had been staying there since Friday. He showed me around and from there we drove to the mountain.

It was a beautiful drive.  We talked and joked as if we have known each other forever. There was no lack of topics to talk about.  He has lived in many other countries and has many stories to tell, but he was also very interested in listening about me and my stories.

Hunter Mountain is a beautiful area located in the northern Catskills Mountains.  As far as skiing is concerned is neither the best best nor the worst I have been to.  It was very cold, and towards the end of the day there were some ice patches on the trails.

“A gentleman is someone who does not what he wants to do, but what he should do.” ― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

He was such a gentleman in every way.  He was concerned about the fit of my boots, asking the rental guys to have me try different ones, even though I had brought my own.  He wanted to drop me off near the entrance and then go park, but as faith would have it there was a perfect spot right there where he was going to drop me off. He carried my skis for me. At all times he was concerned about my comfort level.  It didn’t feel too much.  I felt taken care of.

Speaking of comfort level, why do I love skiing?  Everything about the sport is painful.  The tight boots on the slopes, walking liking Frankenstein’s monster across the parking lot.  Carrying the heavy skis. Wearing the many layers of clothing. The expensive lift ticket, well, everything is expensive on the mountain.  The long lines to get on the chair, long lines everywhere really. And let’s not forget the cold.

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn.” ― John Muir, The Mountains of California

Still,  I adore it!  Being on the mountain feels very freeing, and yet so challenging to me.  I forget about everything.  My only thought is to get down the mountain, and then go up again.  I fear the speed, and yet I love it when, by chance, I speed up a little.  Those few moments between gaining speed, and then feeling like I am totally out of control are priceless. 

Getting back to the day.  He has been skiing forever and is a great skier, so he was able to teach me a lot.  He corrected my form, we did some drills, he gave me tips.  He was so much better than most of the skiing instructors I have had in the past.  In the end I noticed some progress.  He said he did too. 

He said I can go skiing with him any time I want.  He is at that mountain every week. I am not sure I would make the same trip again.  It was too much for one day only.  Total driving time of almost 5 hours.  Perhaps I will go back for a couple of days.  For day trips I am searching for places closer to home.

I made a friend and I skied.  Life is great!

“Do not compete with others! Pick a high speed for yourself that suits high ideals and try to catch and surpass that speed!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan

A non-date date

11 Friday Feb 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Dating, Finding Me

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“If you don’t do it this year, you’ll be one year older when you do.” ― Warren Miller

I had a quick date on Wednesday night.  I met this guy months ago on OKCupid.  I am not longer on that site.  He left the site first and gave me his number so we could keep in touch.

I eventually texted him and we started exchanging messages.  Even though we live only 30 minutes apart, it was hard to make plans to meet until now. 

We chose to meet in Bronxville, NY.  It is has a charming downtown.  We were going to meet at Starbucks, but when I got there he was standing outside.  They had just closed.  It was good thing. We walked around and found a better place.

“I feel the need to endanger myself every so often.” ― Tim Daly

The place we found is called Slave to the Grind. It reminded me of coffee shops in skiing resort towns, which was apropos since this was more of a skiing date, then a romantic date.

Let me explain: One of the reasons that we connected was our love of skiing.  Mine is more of a platonic love, since I seldom ski, and I am not really good at it.  His, is a full blown love affair. He has been skiing since he was 10, and still races from time to time.  

I just found out yesterday that he has a home in Whistler, BC, which is my absolute favorite place on earth! Icing on the cake!

He is over 60 years old, but I don’t remember his exact age, and didn’t want to ask again.  He looks younger in person.  Taller than me, bald, smart, cultured and personable. He is involved in international business.  Mostly retired now, he does some consulting on the side. 

“Cross-country skiing is fine as long as you live in a small country.” ― Steven Wright

We started talking as if we have known each other for years, and not just months of texting.  It was not a long date.  We mostly talked about our backgrounds and of course, skiing.

He invited me to go skiing on Sunday and I said yes.  I think he can teach me a lot.  I am hoping to get a few pointers and perhaps gain more confidence.

Even though he is a great person it seems that we are both more into being skiing friends than anything else.  It felt more like meeting a skiing buddy than a potential boyfriend.  I think that, at this point, I am more excited about finding a skiing partner than a love match. 

Before I forget, I had the mocha with oat milk and a scone.  The mocha was delicious and the scone was bad.  Is tasted old, I don’t think they make their own baked goods. I would go back for the coffee. He had a cappuccino, which I believe he enjoyed. 🙂

Skiing report coming on Monday!  Wish me luck!

“The problem with winter sports is that — follow me closely here — they generally take place in winter.” ― Dave Barry

Being taken for a ride, almost

09 Wednesday Feb 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message

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“Some people stand and move as if they have no right to the space they occupy. They wonder why others often fail to treat them with respect–not realizing that they have signaled others that it is not necessary to treat them with respect.” ― Nathaniel Branden, Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

This week I thought I would have more time to write and to take care of some things I had planned, but, you know what they say about plans…

My co-worker had a family emergency, so I had to add her functions to my list of things to do.   I canceled most of what I had scheduled for this week, but I kept a car appointment and a quick coffee date tonight.

My car appointment yesterday left me thinking that I was being taken for a fool. I hate that feeling.  The feeling that you can never let your guard down.

I went in for an oil change and was offered all kinds of extras, that I may or may not need.  I said no to $1,340.00 worth of services. I said I just wanted to do the oil change and would decide on the extras the next time, which I think is what I said last time.

They send me coupons all the time, but normally when I am about to get the oil changed, I never find them.  This time a coupon had just arrived the day before.   I showed him the coupon and said I would like to use it.  He said that the coupon was for a specific oil that it was not what my car takes. But there was another coupon with it, that it would get me a discount and instead of $1,340.00 I would have to pay only $1,072.00.

I tried to argue and ask why was I sent something that I was not going to be able to use.  The coupon specifically mentioned my car.  He said that it said so in some small print.

He said that he would still give me a promotional fee of $59.95.  The coupon was for $39.95.  Not wanting to argue and needing to get to work, I just said ok, go ahead.

Still feeling annoyed, I added, can I have my coupon back?  As he handed it to me, I said: “I want to make a few phone calls and give Honda a piece of my mind.  This is false advertisement, or some type of bait-and-switch scam, but whatever it is, it is not right.”

He then said. “Don’t worry about it, I am going to talk to my manager and we can give you that price”.

Stuff like that makes me mad.  The upselling, the misleading, anyone trying to get one over the next guy.  Does this happen to me because I am a woman, or perhaps I just look like an unsuspecting fool?

As a side note, do you know what type of services is really necessary for a 5-year-old Honda HRV with only 13,000 miles?

Thank you for visiting today 😊 May your day be blessed! ♥

I will come back tomorrow and report on my quick coffee date tonight. 

“There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.” ― Soren Kierkegaard

 

Tenant, you go bye bye, so I can fly, fly

05 Saturday Feb 2022

Posted by in Daily Life, Finding Me

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“We tend to overpack. If it does not add value to your life journey, don’t bring it along for the ride.” ― Anthon St. Maarten

The business of being a landlord is great, but not for me.

I had great tenants in the past, that paid on time and never had any complaints. And some not so great. At the moment I have one of those.  He pays late and complains about every little thing, at all hours of day and night.

I am at fault for not setting him straight from the beginning.  I catered to every little thing he wanted, and didn’t make a big deal of the late rent.  All of a sudden, years have gone by and I am feeling like a hostage.

“Don’t plan for the future until you have removed and unpacked the baggage on your back.” ― Charles F Glassman

In 2019 I sold the other rental I had.  I thought I would regret selling it, because I loved the place, but instead I felt lighter.  I no longer dread the calls from the tenant or from the super of that building.

I didn’t want to sell both condos in the same year.  Also, since this is a one bedroom apartment, and by this time my tenant is married with 2 little kids; I thought that he would be moving out sooner, rather then later.  He never did.

In 2020, when I was about to ask him to move out,  there came Covid.  In 2021 it was the same story.

“You wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.”
― Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon

Finally, this January, I gave him notice to move out by April 15th.  He is now complaining that 3 months is not enough time for them to move out.  No matter what, the apartment will go on the market on April 16.

I cannot wait for it to be on the market and and to be sold. It will feel like I have shed another heavy layer.

In a prior post I mentioned, in response to a date’s question, that I wanted a series of homes in different places.  The truth is, I don’t.

Don’t get me wrong, the idea is great; if they all came absolutely maintenance free.  That would be a perfect world, where material possessions didn’t require any looking after.

“No baggage – there was the secret of existence.”
― Robert Louis Stevenson, The Wrecker

In this not-so-perfect world, the more one has, the more it takes to maintain.  It takes more money, more time, more energy, more dealing with painful people, etc.  I don’t want any more of that, than I already have to deal with.

I aim to have less.  Less to worry about.  It helps that I am disliking shopping more and more.  I have to buy a bedroom set and and I keep avoiding dealing with it. I wish I could go without a car also, but it is a necessary evil.

I want to get rid of stuff.  I want to feel lighter and unencumbered.   I want less baggage, less energy spent taking care of maintaining stuff.  I don’t want to be tied to places and things. I don’t want to spend energy on things.

I want to be so light that I can feel like I can fly.

Wishing you a light weekend full of light and blessings!

“Only, in the end, you will realize. Among all the baggage you carried all your life, you didn’t own most of them. And the remaining weren’t as important as you always thought or expected it to be.” – Akshay Vasu, The Musings of Light and Darkness: Collection of words for the wandering souls