Monthly Archives: May 2020

My brother is your brother

31 Sunday May 2020

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“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”― Nelson Mandela

I hurt for George Floyd’s family.  May his soul rest in peace, and may God comfort his family.

I am at a loss for words, and I am sure I am not the only one.  My heart and soul hurts.  Why can’t we all just live in peace? Yes, I know that it is naive of me, but I dare to still dream.

Discrimination and prejudice is alive and well in the US, as well as in Brazil.  Instead of progress in the race for equality it seems we have taken huge leaps backwards.  Specially now that we have presidents that made it okay to be racist and to discriminate.  I say presidents because our Brazilian president, Bolsonaro, is just the tropical version of Trump. 

I don’t want to assign blame and point fingers, but I think I am entitled to have expectations of the president of a country.  I expect a president to lead the country in unity.  I expect him to lead by example in treating everyone the same.  I expect him to quickly condemn racism and mistreatment of the minorities. 

“I am not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.”― Nelson Mandela

That is not what is happening. Instead both presidents seems to condone violence and discrimination.  Trump,  from the beginning with all the talk about the Mexican Border Wall has preached separation and discrimination.  I expect presidents to build bridges and to bridge gaps, and not to build walls and applaud division.

Trump made it okay for the racists to come out in the open. It seems that now they can hate and discriminate out in the open.  I feel he gave the green light to hate and to attack.

I am hurting for 2 countries that I love.  I am hurting for my brother and sister that because of their skin color live in fear.  I am hurting for those that have no voice because of their social standing and social economic condition.  I am hurting for the ones not free to express their religion or sexual orientation.

I am hurting for the black mother that sees their child go out of the door and can only pray that they will return safely home.

I pray.  I pray for awareness.  I pray for each person to look inwards and start spreading love. I pray for peace and miracles.

“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”― Nelson Mandela

No matter your belief or where you stand, you cannot deny that George Floyd’s death was was murder.  His life was completely disregarded by the one’s tasked with defending and protecting life. It didn’t need to happen.  It could have been easily avoided. And he is not the only one to die in such a senseless manner.  He is only the last one.  

We need the police.  I am grateful for the officers that every single day risk their lives to protect me.  But there is huge problem that needs to be addressed.  Not everyone is qualified to perform that job.  They need to be better trained.  Complaints of brutalities need to be taken seriously.  The good officers need to have a safe environment to speak up against the bad ones. 

What can I do?  I will continue doing what I have always been doing.  I will continue treating everyone the same.  I will continue donating money to causes that I think are important, specially focusing in education, children and the elderly.  I will continue listening when my brother/sister speak.

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”-Nelson Mandela

So many tragedies.  Still, I dare to be positive.  I dare to look for blessings.  I dare to expect miracles. I dare to see angels. I dare to still be happy.  I dare to search for the meaning and the lessons.

I stand with goodness.  I stand with God.  I stand with following the law. I am against using violence to protest violence. Please if you are marching to protest be careful, and do so peacefully.  Tearing down our neighbors property, and causing injure to others is not the answer.

I don’t have any answers.  I have prayers and love and I will continue to spread those.

“I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”― Nelson Mandela

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A brand new day! A brand new world?

27 Wednesday May 2020

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“The chief beauty about time
is that you cannot waste it in advance.
The next year, the next day, the next hour are lying ready for you,
as perfect, as unspoiled,
as if you had never wasted or misapplied
a single moment in all your life.
You can turn over a new leaf every hour
if you choose.”― Arnold Bennett

Today, May 26, 2020 is a great day.  New Rochelle, NY, where I live, and now also work, entered Phase One of the Coronavirus Pandemic Reopening.

In March, New Rochelle was the epicenter of the virus in NY state.   We have now turned a corner and began moving in the right direction. In the direction of less and less cases.  I hope that people will respect and abide by the restrictions of each phase so that we can quickly progress towards full reopening.

These is how they list the 4 reopening phases: 

  • Phase One:
  • Constructions
  • Manufacturing
  • Retail with curbside pickup
  • Wholesale Trade and Agriculture
  • Phase Two:
  • Retail
  • Real Estate
  • Phase Three:
  • Restaurants
  • Phase Three:
  • Arts and Entertainment
  • Recreation and Education

Now that there seems to be light at the end of this very long tunnel I hope we all can move together towards a better world.  After all is said and done I hope that we are able to take something away from it, a lesson, an idea, a goal, etc. 

Actually, if this quarantine hasn’t thought you anything or have not opened your eyes to anything, then stop and look again.  You don’t want to miss this chance to make life changes, to make a better future for yourself and others.

There is a reason for everything in this world. I am not sure of all the lessons here, but I know that there will be many.  There will be different lessons for different people.  For beginners we will probably value more our family and our freedom of coming and going as we please.

“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
― Emily Dickinson

I have yet to make an inventory of the lessons I have learned, since we are still not completely out of the woods and the learning is daily and on-going.  I will continue to be all about my family, and less about material things.  I will appreciate more my freedom, hugs and faces without masks.   I will continue moving towards a more minimalist life.  I want less things to weigh me down. 

Let’s not waste any more time.  Let’s get busy living. Don’t postpone ideas and wants.  Don’t postpone passions.  Follow your heart.  Follow your bliss!

But more than thinking only about ourselves, we need to think globally.  Planet Earth needs our protection.  Mother Nature needs all of us to be more thoughtful and less wasteful. Let’s take care of each other. Let’s be kind to our neighbors.

“Possessions, outward success, publicity, luxury – to me these have always been contemptible. I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, best for both the body and the mind.”― Albert Einstein

 

“Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.” ― Confucius

24 Sunday May 2020

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“It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get.”― Confucius

I caught myself being short tempered yesterday.  I was at the new office dealing with different issues. There was the electrician, the cable guy and the appliance delivery guy.  The delivery guy was rude.  I tried to ignore it and make conversation, but all I got was grunting.  I didn’t say anything but I wanted to. I wanted to ask what was his problem.  But I didn’t.  Instead I gave him a $20 tip.

I realized that my interaction with him was going to be very short lived and there was no need to be confrontational.  Also, I realized that I have no idea what battles he is fighting.  He is out there putting himself at risk so people like me can get their appliances, and whatever else we order. I decided not to make any assumptions.  Not everyone is friendly and likes to talk.

I constantly need to remind myself to be less critical of others and to stop expecting people to act as I would. I needed to choose respect and understanding.

“Consideration for others is the basis of a good life, a good society.”
― Confucius

Confucius uses the word “jen” to describe love or humanity, or more specific, a compassionate love for humanity/the world.  Having jen is having compassion and love for each other and that is something that we need a lot now more than ever.

Nowadays it seems that everything is about division and we are forced to take sides on every issue. I don’t mean to imply that people should stand in silence in the face of injustice, but not everything is a fight, not everything needs to be made into a war.

“Attack the evil that is within yourself, rather than attacking the evil that is in others.”― Confucius

I am a democrat but I don’t need to love everything about the democrats and hate the republicans.  I don’t have to choose a side.

I want people to stay at home, but I am not a hypocrite.  I stayed as long as I could. Once the lease and construction of the new office was finalized I have gone out every now and then to get it up and running. I expect deliveries.  Things don’t magically show up.  There are many people behind each package I get.  That fact is not lost on me.

Everyone staying at home 100% of the time  it is just not doable. Not only from the monetary aspect of it, but also the mental one.  Not everyone is equipped to stay that long locked in.

“What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.”― Confucius

Let’s remember that to everything there are exceptions. There is always the gray area.  There is the need for common sense.  There is the need to be reasonable, to reflect before jumping to conclusions. There is the need to respect our difference of opinions.

Before a quick retort, before an unkind word, before a confrontation, stop and reflect. Ask yourself if it is really necessary to act in such a way.  Kindness is the answer to every question.

We need more jen.  According to Confucius we are all born with jen, but it up to us to cultivate it.

“Tzu Chang asked Confucius about jen. Confucius said, “If you can practice these five things with all the people, you can be called jen.”

Tzu Chang asked what they were.

Confucius said, “Courtesy, generosity, honesty, persistence, and kindness.
If you are courteous, you will not be disrespected;
if you are generous, you will gain everything.
If you are honest, people will rely on you.
If you are persistent you will get results.
If you are kind, you can employ people.”

So, today try to look with kindness to all, starting at home with your family.  We are all struggling.  Some are better equipped to deal with this quarantine.  Let’s respect each other’s limitations.

Let’s not assume and impose our opinions on others. Less judgment and pointing fingers. Let’s create a Love Pandemic.  Let’s spread kindness.

“If there is righteousness in the heart, there will be beauty in the character.
If there is beauty in the character, there will be harmony in the home.
If there is harmony in the home, there will be order in the nations.
When there is order in the nations, there will peace in the world.”
― Confucius

What about Dating? Am I too busy, too lazy , too distracted or just not interested?

20 Wednesday May 2020

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, EX Files, Finding Me

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“Many things interested her and nothing satisfied her entirely.”
― Ivan Turgenev

Do you remember my friend A, the natural doctor?  It had been a long time since we had spoken on the phone.  I met him on a dating site in 2015. We had a couple of dates and then he disappeared.  When he resurfaced we started going out again but only as friends.  We became great friends.

For awhile we had a Sunday routine of going to the gym, then the sauna, then going for a healthy meal.  Then he got busy, I got busy.  Then he got a girlfriend, and became even busier.  Our friendship just became a text every now and then, which he initiated because, to be honest, I am the worst at keeping in touch. 

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.”― Mark Twain

The other day he reached out and we scheduled a call to catch up.  It was fun.  We spoke about everything, including as:

  • Canceled trips: He was going to Paris and Italy in April with his girlfriend.  I was going to Brazil in April.
  • Supplements and vitamins: I have been taking pretty much the same ones I listed here: https://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2018/08/08/vitamins-supplements-and-positive-thinking/.  He is the one that has prescribed most of those to help me with my gum issues. He mentioned that he is now also taking Blue-Green Algae and raved about it.  I need to look into that.
  • Real Estate: He is talking about buying an apartment.  He lives in the same town I do.  He has been renting but his rent has been increased so he thinks that now it is time to buy.  I am all for buying and stop paying rent.
  • Books: The list of books that I have started and have yet to finish is endless.  I realized that in going on and on about all my books I never asked him about what he is reading now.  He did mention that one of the ones that I have yet to finish is his all-time favorite book: The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer.
  • Plans for when the quarantine is over:  We both agree that we miss getting massages and going out to eat the most. 
  • and among many other topics, he asked me one question that stumped me:  What about dating?

“Is it that you don’t like people, or that you just grow tired of them and can’t for the life of you remember why you ever found them interesting?”― André Aciman, Find Me

What about dating indeed.  I haven’t thought about dating at all, since M. and I parted ways, a couple of months ago.  I was about to take a break from dating when I met him. I deleted my profiles and gave us a chance.  It didn’t work.  Any time a relationship, or just a date doesn’t end up as I wished,  I don’t despair.  I feel it brings me a step closer to the one time that it will work. I always walk away with something, some lesson.  This time was no different.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”― Haruki Murakami

There were red flags.  I ignored them and hoped for the best. I erroneously thought I could have a relationship with a die-hard Trump fan.  I thought that as long as we didn’t discuss politics we would be okay. Wrong! Politics, specially nowadays need to be discussed, even if just to agree to disagree.  

https://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2020/03/14/loves-trump-hates-immigrants-and-is-clueless-about-sex-not-my-match-the-mistakes-i-made-and-lessons-i-learned-in-this-short-lived-relationship/

When it all came to a head I knew I was ready for that break.  Then quarantine hit, and on top of that I got busy with working on getting my new office set up.

Dating took a back sit.  Still, it is only a matter of time until I get back to online dating.  I enjoy meeting new people, the flirty back and forth, the first date, and all the infinite possibilities.  Above all, I will forever look for my Mr. Right until I find him, if he doesn’t find me first.  So sooner or later I will be describing first dates again.

But for now I am just too busy, too lazy, too distracted or perhaps just not that interested.

“Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. Make all your friends feel there is something special in them. Look at the sunny side of everything. Think only the best, be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give everyone a smile. Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others. Be too big for worry and too noble for anger.”― Norman Vincent Peale

 

Always Grateful and Forever Hopeful

15 Friday May 2020

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I read the above quote and it really resonated with me and I wanted to share.

Past: I am grateful for all the lessons I learned.  Looking back it fills me with the feeling of accomplishment. Of course, hindsight is 20/20 and there always things I would do differently, but I am ever so proud and grateful for everything in my past.

“The past beats inside me like a second heart.”― John Banville, The Sea

Future: I feel so blessed for having been gifted with vision.  I envision such an amazing future.  Each new day brings so much promise.  I could always see beyond the now, the today, and I see it with positivism and optimism.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

Above:  The strength I get from above sustains me.  It carries me when problems and stress weakens my legs. Knowing that I am never alone, and that no matter what I will always be okay is extremely powerful.  My faith is my weapon.

“Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into light.”
― Hellen Keller

Inner Being/Inner Peace: All answers, all solutions, peace, love and tranquility are all within myself.  There is no need to look elsewhere. The world can be chaos but I don’t have to let it affect me.  I can stop, breathe, get quiet and still enough to ground and center myself. Peace is within me, I am peace! 

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”― Albert Camus

 

Stop whining: Have some grace with that wine!

10 Sunday May 2020

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“Our worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God’s grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God’s grace.”― Jerry Bridges

I love moving. I think it is the perfect chance to organize, clean up, purge, start anew.  This office relocation is the perfect opportunity for me to get this office to look and feel cozy.  In my old office I pretty much gave up trying to make it look nice. I have a second chance now.

There is a lot to contend with, but one way or another things are moving along.  There are electricians, phone techs, cable guys, computer, movers, building personnel, new building rules, etc.  

The old office is almost empty now.  There is just a couple of computers left that cannot be disconnected yet.  The new office needs a few more things before we can actually move in and start working there.  The new desks are arriving on Wednesday.  Optimum is already connected, waiting on Verizon now.  There are also several things I need to buy, such as a new fridge, indoor plants, a Nespresso machine, etc

It has been a juggling act trying get my regular job done while making sure everything about this move goes off without a hitch. I have been calling vendors to settle some bills and change our address.  It has been so frustrating dealing with some of them.  It takes forever to get someone on the phone.  When you finally get someone, they are quick to accept a payment over the phone or online, but to change our address I have to mail the request.  Not email, they want regular mail.  How antiquated and annoying is that?

After being on the phone for awhile with one woman that kept going around in circles and not really getting anything resolved, I was getting very frustrated and angry.  I was raising my voice and telling her exactly what I thought about her company.  Then I heard my own voice whispering to myself: Have some grace!

I paused and took a deep breath.  I calmed myself down.  I finished the phone call not getting anything done, realizing that some things are not the way I want no matter how much I argue about it.

Getting angry doesn’t accomplish anything, specially getting angry at the messenger.  So I am going to trying to have grace when dealing with others, specially when things are not going my way.

“Life is grace. Sleep is forgiveness. The night absolves. Darkness wipes the slate clean, not spotless to be sure, but clean enough for another day’s chalking.”― Frederick Buechner

On a brighter note, one of our new office’s neighbor stopped by while my boss and I were there waiting for the electricians.  He seems very nice and friendly. He is Italian with a heavy accent.  We went to see the office he shares the with his partner and an assistant.   He is a wine exporter and gave us wine as a welcome gift.  

“Grace has to be the loveliest word in the English language. It embodies almost every attractive quality we hope to find in others. Grace is a gift of the humble to the humiliated. Grace acknowledges the ugliness of sin by choosing to see beyond it. Grace accepts a person as someone worthy of kindness despite whatever grime or hard-shell casing keeps him or her separated from the rest of the world. Grace is a gift of tender mercy when it makes the least sense.”― Swindoll Charles R.

Wishing everyone grace in your actions and wine on your table! ♥♥

 

Surrounded by all kinds of angels

07 Thursday May 2020

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“[Saint Anthony] said, in his solitude, he sometimes encountered devils who looked like angels, and other times he found angels who looked like devils. When asked how he could tell the difference, the saint said that you can only tell which is which by the way you feel after the creature has left your company.”― Elizabeth Gilbert

My busyness continues.  On Monday I went to Manhattan to meet up with the movers to move some stuff to the new office.  While waiting outside there was a homeless man sitting on some boxes near the door.  He asked me to call an ambulance. 

I hesitated. He didn’t seem ill, but said that he had heart issues. I decided to err on the side of caution.  I called 911, answered a few questions and gave our address.  

While waiting, the man (I wished I had asked his name) said to me: “When I become a millionaire I will come back and make you rich”.  I said:  “I am already rich”. Before I could add anything else, he asked: “spiritually rich?”  I said: ” Yes, I am blessed beyond belief”!

When the ambulance arrived I met the first EMT and explained the situation. He said to me: “I got it”. He asked the man a few questions then ushered him to the ambulance.  As the man was turning to grab a bag with his belongings he told the man to leave it, that he would get it. 

I watched in awe as this EMT did his job with kindness and respect.  I was so impressed by this EMT’s demeanor.  I was humbled by the way he treated this homeless man.  My faith in humankind felt restored by that moment.

After that I got busy moving stuff.  I got home physically exhausted.  I often fool myself saying I am not getting involved and will just watch it.  I always end up doing more than everyone else.

***

I went to sleep at 10 pm. I woke up at one point and looked at my phone to see the time. It said: 4:44.  Even half asleep, the symbolism of the 3 matching numbers wasn’t lost on me.  It made me feel happy and blessed.  I remember making a mental note to look up the meaning in the morning, but I instinctively I already knew it was a good message.

In the morning I looked it up and confirmed it was indeed a good omen.  It means hard work and determination.  It means I am surrounded by my guardian angels and that I am in the right path.  I had mentioned here before how stressed I am lately with some financial issues I am dealing with and also in dealing with this office move.  It is comforting to receive a sign of support.

I believe in signs.  I believe in miracles.  I believe in my guardian angels.  I talk to them and thank them all the time. Seeing this sign gives me strength. It strengthens my already strong faith.

Talk to your angels! They are listening and ready to help.  All you have to do is ask.

 

#lbs Looking Back Sunday – “Prayers, Expectations, Hope and Love”

04 Monday May 2020

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There is #tbt Throwback Thursday.  That is when you post in social media something from the past, such as a picture in Instagram or something like that.

Today is not Thursday so I am calling this #lbs Looking Back Sunday.

Most of you know that I started my blog in early 2012 due to the unbearable pain I was feeling from having my heart broken.  Writing here allowed me to get the pain out of my heart. I credit this blog with saving my sanity.

It is odd to look back at some posts now.  In some posts I don’t recognize the writer behind the words at all; and in others it is if I just wrote it today. I guess Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr was right when he wrote: “The more things change, the more they remain the same”.

The post that I chose to start this #lbs series is “Of Prayers, Expectations, Love and Hope”.  It was written June 23, 2012.  It is crazy to think that I have had this blog for that long.

https://atomic-temporary-33385295.wpcomstaging.com/2012/06/23/of-prayers-expectations-love-and-hope/

I chose this one because it still fits, even after 8 years have gone by.  I still believe in the power of prayers, in hope and in love.  I still asks God for guidance, and trust where it leads me.  And of course, I am still fighting expectations.

I am no longer in touch with the person that I wrote about it in the beginning  of that post as “my favorite voice on the phone”. That person, who I thought could potentially be the one, was just a distraction.  Still I am thankful for him but chose not to continue with the friendship.

I hope that everyone reading this is safe, healthy, full of hope and self love.

Hope is not ignoring the darkness, it is the infinite belief that light always come.  It is believing that our inner light is stronger than any darkness around.

Life is beautiful. You are beautiful.  Everything passes.  Enjoy the moment! ♥♥