I imagine you
I met you
I dream you
I see you
I breath you
I wake up you
I go to sleep you
I eat you
I drink you
I walk you
I talk you
I think you
I love you
I lost you
I never had you
I miss you
I try to forget you
You
04 Friday May 2012
Monthly Archives: May 2012
oh Pleeease!!! Your love is worthless
03 Thursday May 2012
Posted in EX Files, Finding Me
so Ex has sent me a couple of texts, saying that I looked sexy last time he saw me and trying to invite himself over, to which I told him the truth, which he doesn’t really deserve, but telling the truth is how I choose to live, here is my e-mail reply:
“I am hurting (well, you know that), still crying over the loss of “us” every single day
I looked the other way so many times, with D. I pretended it was not happening, but celebrating anniversaries with M. was just the nail on my coffin
I can’t understand what have I done to deserve this from you
Right now praying every day to preserve our friendship and the love that I still feel for you and that you never had for me”
Here is his reply:
“I love you very much
Always have, always will
I know that we reached a point that I was unable to be the person you wanted me to be
Perhaps at some point I may be able to
You can and do think a lot of things, but never think that you are not loved and though about every single day of my life, many times”
Can you believe this reply? I guess that worst than a person lying to others is a person that lies to himself. Is either that or he is a total psychopath.
So I am not even bothering replying anything at this point, because, obviously he wouldn’t know truth and honesty if came up and bit him in the face, but let me just point out the obvious on his reply:
He says he loves me very much. Words are cheap and easy. His actions do not demonstrate that.
He says that he was not the person I wanted him to be. Amazing how he turns it around like I was the one unhappy one and the one with problems. But I guess in a way he is right, I wanted a man I could trust. I wanted an honest man, that would be faithful, and that would think that I alone was good enough for him. I wanted a man that could keep it in his pants.
He says: perhaps at some point I will be able to (be the person I want him to be). Sorry that ship has sailed. After trying, trying and trying some more, I had to face the truth that he just doesn’t want me. But it is really clever how he tries to keep me going with promises of a future. How he keeps dangling the carrot in front of me. Sorry, that carrot is no longer appealing.
He says: that I can think of many things except that I am not loved and thought about daily. Funny freaking way of showing his love. Lets count the ways: 1)by having all sorts of women coming to the house, 2)taking all sorts of women on dates, 3)by lying to my face many times, including saying that he wanted to be alone to focus on his business and children, 4)by saying that he was not doing anything for me, with me on Valentine’s Day because he didn’t want to send me the wrong message, 5)celebrating anniversaries with at least 1 woman, yep on the 22nd of May it will be 2 happy months with M., and so many other ways the loves and thinks of me daily, but I will not bore you with anymore details.
YES, HE REALLY LOVES ME!!!
please remind me: why am still trying to preserve a friendship with him??
Do I look for love or do I let it find me?
03 Thursday May 2012
Posted in Daily Life, Finding Me
This is the question that I have been pondering over lately.
Do I active seek love or just go about my business and let it find me?
And when I say “love” I mean soul mate, my partner for life, I don’t mean just a date or a roll in the hay.
Because the truth is, I don’t need a boyfriend, but I want one. I do plenty of stuff alone and I adore my own company. But there are a lot moments where it would be could to have a partner.
I am already happy, so I don’t need someone to make me happy. I want someone to share my happiness.
Getting back to love finding me, it should be pretty easy, one would think, since I have been blessed with a star on my forehead. But what I realize that only the special someone will see the star and find me.
Now the question is: Where is he?
Did he give up looking for me and married somebody else?
I thought I had found him, but the truth is I wanted him so much that I made him up. Ex was so charming that I figure this is it.
So, right now I am on e-Harmony. But sometimes it just smells of desperation, of offering myself.
I like to think that I am being pro-active, like they say about the Lottery, you have to be in it to win it, so I guess this is my way of being in it!.
So are you actively pursuing love or are you waiting until it finds you?
I am not voting for you!
02 Wednesday May 2012
Posted in Daily Life
As I am walking on the train platform waiting for my train to come to work in NY, this man approaches me, hands me a card and says:
I am running for Congress.
That is fine, until he added: beautiful lady! Well I love a compliment but this didn’t feel like one.
The way he said it and looked at me it just made me feel uneasy.
Now I am not a prude and I enjoy harmless flirting, but this rubbed me so wrong.
I can’t imagine this man in Congress.
He is either a creep trying to get women or perhaps just dumb, at either case he should not be in Congress.
I do expect a lot from out politicians and people in power. I expect they set an example. I cannot believe that everyone already forgot about Clinton and how he is welcomed and cherished. Does anyone remember what he did? And I am sure we don’t know the full extent of it.
ok, ok, he is only human, some may say. I do agree people are allowed to make mistakes, but it seems that we just forgiving him for being a man, a man in power. I guess it has come to be expected that is what they do.
What about John Edwards? Did his wife deserve that? She deserve honesty, as any person in a relationship. If he is willing to betray the person that is standing by him, carrying his children, doing everything for me, what is he willing to do to the American people?
Am I perfect? no, but one thing I try to do is deal in honesty. It just so much easier!
Why is free so attractive?
01 Tuesday May 2012
Posted in Daily Life, Food
Tags
Every now and then there are people standing outside Grand Central Station (NY) handing out free samples of things such as headache medication, juices, etc.
I, like most people, just take it and later I will decide it if I want it or need it. What if I pass it up and it turns out it is something great.
R, one of my co-workers once mentioned he never takes anything that is being hand out. He said: “if terrorists really wanted to get to us all they needed to do was stand outside Grand Central and hand out poison and we would willingly take it”.
He has a point, but still it hasn’t stopped me from grabbing whatever they give out.
This morning it was Emmi Swiss yogurt and Ricola cherry cough drops. I have been into Greek yogurt lately so I am not sure Swiss yogurt is for me, specially since the flavor they gave me was Green Apple. If I ever try it I will let you know.
What about you? Are you excited to get free stuff?
Blessed with a Star on the Forehead 