My dating life is slow again. There are potentials but then for one reason or another it just fizzles out. We never get to go on a first date. The last one was this guy that seemed like a great match for me. We had exchanged emails so great that I was tempted to copy and paste on my blog. Then, all of a sudden, nothing, just a deafening silence!
It is a mystery to me why somebody engages in conversation and/or long emails, seems all interested and then all of a sudden they disappear. No “good bye”, no “I changed my mind”, nothing!
In the past I would have emailed/called and questioned them. In the past I would have needed closure. I would have spent countless hours analyzing and searching for answers. Now I just think to myself: “Thank you”. This acceptance is one of the benefits of experience, pain and growth.
I realize that knowing the answer wouldn’t change the fact that the person has chosen to go away. I now try to devote my time to more worthwhile activities instead of dissecting a futile situation. I am still baffled but I know better than to look for answers where there is none that will make it okay for somebody to just walk away without a word.
All I know, and the most important lesson here, is that whatever reason they chose to walk away it has nothing to do with me. It is about them and what is going on in their lives.
I actually decided to take this it as an act of kindness. They realized that we wouldn’t work out in the long run and they decided to go away and leave the path free for another person that will be better suited for me. How awesome is that? Heartache averted!!
I take this opportunity now to thank every person that comes into my life for the lessons and experiences. I thank the ones that choose to stay, but I thank the ones that choose to leave even more!
I realize I am not for the faint of heart. I can be aggressive and not afraid to speak my mind. I wear my heart on my sleeve. Therefore, it will take time to find the right person for me, the person that will find that a good thing and will not be intimidated. I am searching for a needle in a haystack, but I am never afraid of impossible propositions. It will make the rewards that much sweeter.
Each guy that walks away leaves the path clear for the right guy to come along. Each guy that leaves means progress, one person closer to the right person. Each experience is also making me enjoy more my single life and realize how awesome it is.
Today I am celebrating this new improved me! Here is for a healthy attitude adjustment! It is not what happens to me, it is how I perceive it and how I react to it!!
“These are the few ways we can practice humility:
To speak as little as possible of one’s self.
To mind one’s own business.
Not to want to manage other people’s affairs.
To avoid curiosity.
To accept contradictions and correction cheerfully.
To pass over the mistakes of others.
To accept insults and injuries.
To accept being slighted, forgotten and disliked.
To be kind and gentle even under provocation.
Never to stand on one’s dignity.
To choose always the hardest.”
― Mother Teresa
good words. Sometimes I think the internet makes people crazy.
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Thank you! I think the internet just makes it easier for some people to be callous and unaccountable. It also makes it easy for people to be something they are not, such as married men pretending to be single lol
Blessings! 🙂
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I can’t imagine what would make a person be so rude as to just abruptly cut off communications without a word. I agree that you should feel thankful. Anyone that rude is not worth your time anyway. It will happen.
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You and I can’t understand that kind of behavior because we would never act in such way. I suspect some men are married and are just playing games. And you are right I have no use for people that rude.in my life. Thank you and many blessings! 🙂
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that is a good realization to come to!!!
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Indeed! I guess that is one good thing about getting old: wisdom! Many blessings! 🙂
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This is a really upbeat post about something that could be discouraging – good for you!
I forget that so much interaction between the sexes occurs on line nowadays, but keep your chin up! There’s someone out there perfect for you…
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Thank you! It is amazing how a simple change in attitude can change everything. I am not giving up! I am coming up with different ideas to get off the computer and get more real life interactions. Many blessings! 🙂
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Hugsssss to you…. I remember reading some really good articles that surprises me when they said you know you are ready for a relationship when you aren’t looking for one. And that it factor in someone is when they know the right match will come along in time. I think sometimes we have this number in our head of what age we should be living certain aspects of our lives. What I find amazing in research is that divorce rates are close to nil at age 55, and I even read of a couple marrying at age 98, with the bride at age 90 and never married before. I guess what I am trying to say is that you are awesome and pampering yourself with self dates is a fabulous way to fall in love with yourself because, well, naturally you will begin to realize you didn’t really need or could ask anyone to give you more than what you already give yourself, which also man’s you will recognize who will stay and who should go (also based on a book called Women Who Love Too Much, which I’m goodat but needed to increase and improve self care). So i say, indulge yourself. Take yourself out. Enjoy these moments of simplicity, a chance to greet yourself, treat yourself and get to know yourself better. When you do, it is only natural you will see what lays ahead, ultimately we are alone, but we can choose who we wish to share it with and is healthiest for us. Hugssss.. love ya!
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I love hugs, thank you! 🙂
Yes, that is what people say: love and relationship will happen when you least expect.
But somehow just having that knowledge is not good enough for me. I need to feel that I am actually doing something and not just sitting on my hands.
I am not going overboard and making this my mission in life but it is one of the things in the forefront of my mind.
I will probably beat that lady’s record and marry for the first time at 91 years of age (if I am still breathing lol)
The idea of self date is awesome and I have done it a few times in the past. Being nice to myself and treating myself the way I want to be treated now and not waiting for someone to come and rescue me is the way to go.
I continue to buy myself flowers every week and also treat myself to foot massages, two things that makes me feel awesome. Loving myself and realizing my worth will help in making sure that I don’t end up in the wrong relationship just because my self esteem is low.
You have been giving me great support and advice and hugs! Thank you for that! Many blessings! 🙂
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Hugsss…. 91, I’m sure you’ll still be a hot tamale by then! Keep up that self love, and smile.. you never know when someone will fall in love with that smile of yours. 😀
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I plan on getting hotter and hotter with age lol it is funny that you have never seen me and you know about my smile. That is the comment I get most often on my dating profile: my great happy smile!
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Hahahaha.. I see you! Your heart! Your soul speaks through your words, that’s how I know! 😀
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You are very perceptive! I see your soul too! 🙂
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I agree that when someone treats you unkindly (by not giving you the courtesy of a definite ending) you can only be grateful to them for acting that way so soon into the relationship. Pursuing it any further would have only led to heartache.
I think you have the right attitude.
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Thank you! That is how I am choosing to look at it. I look back and I now see certain relationships that I chose to pursue when I should have left it alone and avoided the pain.I am glad to be able to see things clearer now.
Thank you for reading and giving me your insight! Blessings! 🙂
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Such an encouraging and lovely post. I agree with you here. I like when you say “I thank the ones that choose to stay and than the ones who choose to leave even more” Now that is easy to say but harder to do for me. But what you gonna do. I like the point about changing the attitude because that really has to help a great deal. It really does hurt when someone ignores or just disappears on you and I have had it done to me so many times that it really makes you wonder about people because I would never do it to anyone…I have more class about myself. Anyway rude people I would just rather not deal with or have in my life anyway. So what you gonna do. People are people. Just keep it movin…the right one will come along….sooner than you think. Have a wonderful day! Betty
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Hi Betty
It is indeed hard for us (people that have manner and consideration for other people) to understand the behavior of certain people. As long as we know that it has nothing to do with us that is what matters. After so many “rejections” it is easy for me to just let this stuff roll of my shoulders.
That just shows that the person is not for me.
“Just keep it movin” is a wonderful advice! It all starts with the first step and as long as I am not stuck in a place or situation then I am making progress.
You too have a wonderful and blessed day and thank you for the comment! 🙂
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Well done, celebrate yourself. Not everyone thinks like we do and give a reason to go. As you say it is then better for them not to be inyour life. If someone wants to be with you they will try their hardest. don’t give up , but don’t get too worried. Love yourself and you will find love! Wishing you all hte best nad some fun! ( Don’t you think we learn a lot about men while dating… I certainly did) 🙂
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thank you! It has taken awhile to get to this point but is so good to be free from being hurt by people’s action or inactions.
My feelings exactly, if someone wants me they will make an effort. I am worth it!
I have been learning a lot about men and also about myself, this has been a very useful learning experience. I may be able to teach about it soon lol
Have a blessed week! 🙂
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Someday you will find the one
who will watch every sunrise with you.
Just be patient.
~♥~
Saw this and liked it! ♥
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it is beautiful, thank you! “Patient” is the key word there for me! 🙂
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Maybe he died? I jest, but that actually did happen to me once 🙂 very strange!
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hahaha…I often say that the only 2 reasons I would accept is 1)death or 2)he is in the hospital with both arms broken and has amnesia.
He didn’t die, he actually wrote saying hello this morning like nothing had ever happened. I ignored, I am not into those stupid games.
Blessings! 🙂
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Perfect attitude!
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Thank you! I am mastering that! Have a blessed weekend! 🙂
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That bothers me even when it comes to blogging. One day there then nothing.
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Don’t take it personally! My life got much better when I decided not to take things personally! Have a blessed weekend!
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Great post & I enjoyed reading about your growth & new approach to relationships !
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Thank you so much! I do read back some times to see how far I have come. Many blessings! 🙂
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Hi Blessed Star , thank you for sharing … All of us our taking our journey to truly finding our radiant selves and all these helpers just seem to pop up to bring us to more awareness of where we are and what next to clear. .. And it is so easy to loose way into guilt, blame , shame and judgement ……Kudoa n bravo for choosing differently..
Heres something that I think you may enjoy too..came across it recently …one of the myraiad tools helping me
Love
Dipika
Dios Zegen
Dioszegen@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/dios.zegen
Rikka Zimmerman : Are you ready to release all stress and worry and embark on a vibrational vacation into the energy of Self-Love? I hope you give yourself this luxurious Energetic Spa Week, plus watch the video daily with powerful self-love tools – is there to support you , no matter where you are in the present and your life open and rediscover even higher levels of infinite love that you are!
http://oneness.rikkazimmerman.com/slm-energetic-spa-day-04/
http://oneness.rikkazimmerman.com/slm-energetic-spa-day-03/
http://oneness.rikkazimmerman.com/slm-energetic-spa-day-02/
http://oneness.rikkazimmerman.com/slm-energetic-spa-day-01/
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Hi Dipika
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and share with me such awesome information. I look forward to exploring and learning more about the links that you have shared with me.
This seems very interesting, and I think self love is something I could use more of.
Have a blessed weekend! 🙂
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deepest gratitude and love …
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Also, there’s also a lovely call replay , on Tim Janakos – “Emotion Code Healing” Blog Talk Radio show –
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/timjanakos
More Amazing Access Consciousness Clearing by Bettina Madini
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/timjanakos/2014/06/12/more-amazing-access-consciousness-clearing-by-bettina-madini
It was a call filled with awareness , tips n tools that really helped me with acknowledging what I was making some things so vital and letting them go being in flow with choices made by others that were making me go : judgement : why are they doing this ! ( time stamp : 53:00-58:00 : about choices , receiving , and being)
————————————————————————————–
More Amazing Access Consciousness Clearing by Bettina Madini
Bettina Madini is an internationally known artist, she is a singer and a dynamic and transformational speaker. She is brilliant at inspiring others to a different possibility for their lives. As Access Consciousness® Certified Facilitator, Bettina guides by asking questions and clearing out whatever limitations and judgments you are willing to release. If you could create anything what would you choose to create? What if you started choosing for you, being you and creating for your future?
Join her on an amazing journey filled with tools that you can use in your daily life to unlock YOU and create the future that YOU desire. Is the time now?
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Thank you again for taking your time to enlighten me. This seems amazing. Being in the moment and aware of all my actions and reactions is something I strive for.
I am eager to learn more. I thank you again for making my world bigger and my future brighter!
Blessings! 🙂
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I wish I could take credit there :)but no enlightment as yet .. Still Very much a fellow struggler , with all failings .. sharing whatever glimmer comes my way . just to say .. You are n’t alone and I care …and .thank you for letting me in …. 3 cheers to lightening up together 😉
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and for doing that sharing and realizing our failings and flaws we are already closer to the light.
Readers like you make me smile and feel enveloped in friendship and care. This is an amazing beautiful thing! Blessings! 🙂
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Hi,Thanks for sharing and i love line which says “I thank the ones that choose to stay and than the ones who choose to leave even more”…
Even i am experiencing same thing after reading your blog it encourage me….Thanks again
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Be encouraged! Everything happens for the right reasons, even though we may not see it at the moment. People leave because they have already played their part, they have already taught us what they had to teach.
Many blessings! 🙂
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Hi star , blessed be…i say the same n so much more for thee 🙂 much love ..
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Ps :for all my lovely brethren some handy quick energetic handy empowerment tools for
Quick easy powerful effective do-it-yourself Do your own healing Free Instant Shifts
1) 8 min Audio : “Transform Your Problem – Now” to create a shift in less than 8 minutes! Use this for any kind of “problem,” pain or pattern.
Accessible at the below page link
http://www.nowhealing.com/thank-you-for-signing-up/
—————————–
2) Making the following sounds , each one 21 times …
Ssssssssss
Choooooo wooooo
Shhhhhhh
Hawwwwwww
Whooooo
Heeeeeeee
With healing sounds, you can make them loud, moderately quiet or aspirated. The aspirated sounds are very quiet and good for doing the healing sounds in public spaces like parks or for keeping your family in the other room from laughing at you. The loud sounds foster the most release on a gross, physical level. The softer the sounds the more energetic and neurological the changes are, with more long-term results.
If youd like to watch and hear the sounds being produced ,and the why , what heres a lovely video that resonated and helped me do so.
Six Healing Sound Practice – YouTube
► 14:48► 14:48
Dec 21, 2012 – Uploaded by Mantak Chia
Dioszegen@gmail.com
http://www.facebook.com/dios.zegen
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This is so interesting, I live alone and at times I find myself talking to the plants or to myself so making the healing sounds is something that will be perfect for me.
Thank you for your kindness always! 🙂
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Oh, Dear. Take a look at my post “A Diet and a Date”. It’s so similar. I have chosen to be thankful, also.
What I can say is that most men are very strange and one who would let you to like that are not too bright.
Scott
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People are strange and perhaps there are lot people out there that think you and I are strange too. But what I have learned is that nothing they do has to do with me. Learning not to take things personally has really changed my life! Blessings! 🙂
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Getting there!
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Perspective is a beautiful thing… You seem to be in a good space and you articulate that well. I will be reading more of your posts.
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Thank you so much! Welcome any time! 🙂
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