Tag Archives: casino

Mom met the boyfriend

12 Friday May 2023

Posted by in Daily Life, Daily Message, Dating

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“Beauty surrounds us.”
― Rumi

This is a short story: M met mom.  They loved each other. End of story.

M was here last weekend to meet my mom.  He arrived Friday and left on Monday.  Hi fan club is now bigger.  My mom also became a fan.  M is the most caring and considerate person I ever met. He cares.  He truly cares about others and the world around him.

I feel so incredibly blessed to have him in my life. He says he is blessed to have found me. We plan on making sure that this gratitude for each other never leave us.

On the day he arrived he booked his ticket to Brazil.  He wanted to meet my mom first and have her blessing and invitation to come to Brazil.  He is going to arrive there 2 days after I get there, and he will leave the morning after I leave.  We are all excited that he will be coming to Brazil and staying with my family for over 2 weeks.

He had talked about going surfing while there, but I convinced him to leave that for the future. I have warned him that this will be a work trip. I am intent on continuing some repairs to my mom’s house, and he says he is eager to help.

On future trips we want to visit more of Brazil. 

While he was here, my  mom, my sister and I, followed our usual routine.  We had some meals at home and some out, with him saying that everything was delicious.  We went to the casino, where he proceeded to give my mom money to play.  We visited some stores, where he patiently waited while my mother chose what to buy.

He is returning to NY on Sunday, May 14 and will stay till Thursday.  After that we will see other on May 26th when he arrives in Brazil. 

I see him being in my life for all my days, and it feels perfect.

“I am larger, better than I thought; I did not know I held so much goodness.
All seems beautiful to me.
Whoever denies me, it shall not trouble me;
Whoever accepts me, he or she shall be blessed, and shall bless me.”
― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

Impatient, grateful, loving and contemplating honesty!

11 Thursday Jun 2015

Posted by in Daily Life, EX Files

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“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.” – ― Aristotle

1:00 pm. Right now I am defrosting my freezer with a hairdryer so that the official GE repairman can return to fix it.   What I really feel like doing is taking an ax to it and chopping it to pieces.

This day has been an exercise in patience… I keep failing all the patience tests that the Universe sends my way.  At this rate I will have to repeat this very same Life-cycle all over again.

I had taken the morning off from work to deal with the fridge, but it turned into a whole day affair.  I know stuff like this happens to teach me patience and the ability to deal with things that are out of my control.  Two other words come to mind:  Perspective and Gratitude.

I didn’t always have a fridge. I remember when my family finally had enough money to buy a fridge.  I was probably about 10 years old.  It was like it was Christmas and we had won the lottery.  Having ice cubes floating in a glass was magical.  It is good to remember that.  It is good to think not of the broken fridge but to remember that I am blessed enough to have a fridge to break in the first place.  Living in the US with all the comforts of the First World it is easy to take it all for granted.  Reminders are blessings!

“A grateful mindset can set you free from the prison of disempowerment and the shackles of misery.” ― Steve Maraboli

Problems need to be put into perspective and in their right place.  This is just a fridge and it is only money.  Okay, it is annoying and frustrating but it is not the end of the world.  Deal with it and move on.

6:00 pm.  Fridge Fixed.  The GE repairman charged $368.00 and changed 3 parts, including the one supposedly already changed.  The original repairman charged me $375.00.  He hasn’t returned my calls and hasn’t stopped by to return my money as he said he would (when the fridge broke again I called him and he said he wanted to come to repair it, I said I wanted my money back instead.  He said no problem, but never followed through on that)

At this point I will probably see him again in Small Claims court.  It is now a matter of principal.

“Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners” ― Laurence Sterne

***

On another front, I am taking tomorrow off and embarking on a long weekend with Ex’s mother.

For her birthday she wanted to see Bette Midler.  The Divine Miss M. is playing at Mohegan Sun Casino.  Since I have free rooms at Foxwoods Casino (just 15 minutes away from Mohegan Sun) I decided to make a whole weekend out of it.

When I tell people I am still in touch with his mother they frown.  People don’t understand why I didn’t leave the entire past behind.  Here is my thinking: Not having a relationship with him anymore didn’t make me stop caring for her.  I am able to separate things and at this point she realizes there is no turning back so she has quit making allusions to it.

I made a conscious decision long ago not to blame the mother for the sins of the son.  I choose to love freely and not link one person to the other.

“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” ― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

****

Preview – my next post will be a hard one, and perhaps my posting this little blurb about it will force me to actually write it. It will be hard because I will have to admit  to you certain things that I don’t want to admit to myself.  But, once again, what is the point of this blog if not for me to be totally me, honest and raw.  Totally childish, totally needy, totally grateful, totally sinful, totally blissful and totally wrong some times.  At the end of the day I want to own my life.  I want to take ownership of my mistakes, I want to learn from them, but above all I want to be able to make them if that is what I want to do at the moment. You reader are my friend and as such you deserve honesty.  Then you shall have it.

I am not sure if I am looking for acceptance or if I want you to take me by my shoulders and shake me up and make me come back to my senses.

I think I am looking to confront myself and make you the audience.

“It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.” ― Noël Coward, Blithe Spirit

 

Overdose of Cheese Bread, Soap Operas and Casino, a bit of Broadway and a couple of paintings

14 Tuesday May 2013

Posted by in Daily Life, Food, Mosaic and other crafts, Reviews

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My Mom’s stay in the US came to an end last week.  One month went by so fast.

When Mom is here I get the Brazilian Channel so she can watch her soap operas.  Soap operas in Brazil are huge! They are always on prime time TV and almost everyone watches and talks about them, that includes men and children also. Unlike in the US where a soap opera lasts forever until canceled, in Brazil a soap opera lasts around 6 months.  They tend to be a bit melodramatic and overacted.

The best part for me is the scenery.  Getting to see my Brazil is always a plus.  They are always filmed on location, never on studios. In some cases they introduce Brazilians to new cultures.  In the current soap opera, “Salve Jorge”, all things Turkey are introduced, as it is filmed in some turkish cities.  It is also filmed in Rio de Janeiro, which because of  the landscape makes it one of the most beautiful and recognizable cities in the world in my opinion.  The name of the soap opera is a reference to Saint George.  I am not sure the complete connection but I know that the main character is devout of Saint George.

All of a sudden Brazilians are doing the Turkish veil dance, drinking raki and wearing turkey inspired fashion.  I am sure Brazilians will be choosing Turkey as a travel destination more now.  The same thing happened a couple of years ago with the soap opera “Caminho das Indias” when everything Indian became all the rage in Brazil, and with others before that.

Truth is I think Brazilians watch too much TV, and TV has such an incredible power to influence Brazilians. I would say that TV influences every day life in Brazil more then any other country in the world.  At least some authors are using this powerful medium to instruct as well as entertain.  In Salve Jorge, human trafficking and black market adoptions (specifically stolen babies) are the major theme, so kudos to Gloria Perez, the author,  for exposing such atrocities and forcing Brazil to face it instead of sweeping it under the rug.

Normally as soon as Mom leaves I call the cable company and turn it off, but this time I will still have it on until Friday.  Friday is the last day of this soap opera, so I may as well finish it. 🙂

Casinos

Another place Mom and I go are the casinos.  I used to have a lot luck gambling, but not lately. Perhaps that is why I don’t enjoy them as much, but I still go many times when mom is here since she enjoys them so much.  We now have one 20 minutes from home, so we don’t have to go all the way to Connecticut or New Jersey.

Broadway

We always try to make to one Broadway musical and this time we went to Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella. I will not go into a full review here, and will just say that it did not disappoint, we both enjoyed it.  The costumes were beautiful and the Prince was charming in a goofy way.  The best part for me was Cinderella’s dress changing in front of our eyes and I still cannot explained how they did it.  Mom says it is magic, I say it is Broadway.

Cinderella always have a way to make me both sad and happy. Sad because I realize that I have no Prince Charming next to me and happy because it makes anything seem possible.

Cheese Bread

My freezer is stocked up with soups, rices, meats, cakes, in sum, an assortment of cooked meals and desserts to last a couple of months.  Mom enjoys feeling she is taking care of her little baby.  Pão de Queijo, cheese bread, well it is more like a cheese puff, is one of those treats.  It is made with tapioca flour.  Growing up I didn’t care for them, now they taste like Brazil to me.

Paintings

Mom turned 78 while she was here and she likes to say that not knowing how long she has left she needs to hurry up and leave her kids with memories of her.  That to her means leaving us with some of her crafts.  Mom is amazingly talented with her hands. Some of her crafts are hand stitched dish towels, macrame bath towels, crochet vests and tablecloths, knit scarves, paintings, etc.

This time she left me with 2 oil paintings:

A fun renditions of a Brazilian Favela located in Rio de Janeiro, as you can tell by the Christ the Redeemer atop the Corcovado Mountain.

Favela

A young shy couple from the Brazilian northeastern region, as you can tell by the foot and hat wear and by the cacti.

Shy Couple

I am blessed with the energetic, talented, full of life mother that I have.  May I be able to be less critical and open to fully learn all she has to teach.

At the casino with the Moms

21 Saturday Apr 2012

Posted by in EX Files

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Sitting here waiting for KC Mom to finish her shower so we can go for breakfast. I am at the Grand Pequot Hotel at Foxwoods Casino. We arrived yesterday and will be going home tomorrow.

We had fun yesterday and managed to have fun playing with house money. We had lunch at the Season’s Buffet. Of course I overate, but not too bad. I need to really watch myself and not get carried away eating just because the food is there staring at me.

I know it is strange to be going away with Ex’s mother and my mom, but I decided that there is no need to sever relationships. In my decision to just love I am willing to forget about a lot. It is funny because right now it is like nothing ever happened and we are back as a couple, loving, at that.

Believe me I am not thinking that we are back to normal. We are not and it will never be. I moved out as he wished. I am right now open if someone new comes along. I don’t expect Ex and I will last. Do a tiny bit of me deep inside still hopes? Yes!

Fooling myself or not I am living the moment!

Are you right now fooling yourself about something or someone?

Aha at the Casino

04 Sunday Mar 2012

Posted by in EX Files, Finding Me

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Decided to the casino today. I received an email from Foxwoods offering me a Brookstone Flip Speaker Dock, so decided it was worth taking a 2 hour bus drive to go get it. It was also a good chance for me to see where the bus stops right here in my new town and to take a test drive before my Mom comes to visit and I take her.
I always said that I could seriously become a gambler, I definitely have an addictive personality. So I have made a conscious effort to just go when I taking Mom.
Moving on,
I, at 46, was the youngest person on the bus. The is a certain air of despair in the bus. Looking around I am thinking that most before here should not be going there.
My seat mate, she chose me because there was a lady the she didn’t want next to her. She is recovering from lung cancer. Great opportunity for me to realize how blessed I am to have my health!
*****
let me digress a little bit, before I forget, let me tell you about last night. The ex texted and seemed to be hinting that he wanted to come over. I am happy and proud of myself that I have made a decision to just love, love as much as I can, whenever I can. And by that I mean, I am not going to play games, even though I am tempted to no reply to texts or call, to pretend I have things to do, places to see and I am too busy for him, when in truth I am never too busy for him!

Progress, small hints of progress, at least in my mind…deciding to love…
****
continuing with the casino, I will not bore you with the details of casino and slot playing minutiae.
I wanted to tell you about an aha moment I had.

It was this same casino in October that I was on the phone with ex, begging, crying, yelling for him not to go this Tantra workshop he was going to. He “forgot” to tell me that he was going to stay at hotel the whole weekend. Anyway, I was not happy with the idea. I will expand on that later on another post.
Anyway, in walking along the same corridor that I did while with him on the phone, I was getting very sad and nostalgic and thinking a lot of “what if”. What if I had been more understanding, would we be together still? Perhaps I would never have moved out. I was about to start crying and I turned my head and looked towards the trees outside. And something clicked, something caught my attention:
the trees were mostly bare, leafless, except for this one tree that had several stubborn leaves. The leaves were moving a lot from the wind hitting them, but they would not fall, and I thought to myself:
It is true, nothing happens on this earth if God doesn’t intend to. Not a leaf fall from a tree if that is not the wish of God.
At the moment I realize that no matter what I did or didn’t do, this is where I should be right now. This is how the Universe wants it, for my own good and growth. There is a reason for everything. I may not know at the moment what the reason is, but somewhere, sometime down the road I will raise my eyes to the sky and whisper: will knew best!
It became clear to me that right now I need to have faith, unshakeable, unlovable faith! I need to trust!
Another lesson from the leaves is that no matter how much the wind hit them they hung on. They were doing their job, they were being leaves.

I will be posting a picture of the tree and leaves later.
**
right now watching a movie: Breaking and Entering”. will let you know if I like it.

Until then have faith and decide to love!