“Trust your heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backward.” ―
Last Thursday I decided to accept a spur of the moment invitation for coffee. This is a person that I had just started exchanging messages with and didn’t know anything about him. I wasn’t that interested but thought I could spare 10 minutes and see if there was any chemistry. After all, how bad could it be?
BAD! It was really bad. I am normally able to get something out of any date I have, except this one. It is common for me not to have any chemistry but to like the person enough to want a friendship, but not with this one.
As soon as I sat down, and by the way he sat on the chair and I had to sit on top of the air vent. As he studied my face he asked: Do you only wear glasses? Do you plan on getting contact lenses? I said: no. I was a little taken aback by this question. He pressed on: Why not? You never considered it?
I said: No, not really. On my list of things to do or to change about myself, contact lenses comes in at the very last, if at all.
He seemed disappointed and proceed to tell me how an ex-girlfriend once convinced him that everyone looks better without glasses. No matter how beautiful someone is, glasses are never a good look. So he now wear contacts. Then, sounding disappointed he added: but you already said you have no interest.
I changed the subject by asking him about his day and his work. He mentioned he was almost retired. That he was tired of dealing with employees and now only took care of a few select clients. He has some kind of electrical work company.
“Conceited people never hear anything but praise.” –
Instead of perhaps asking about my day and my job, he then asked me what I thought of all the men online. Before I had a change to answer his question, he said: I have been told that most men are short and bald, so because I am tall and have all my hair I am better than 99% of the men online.
I politely reminded him that hair and height was not what I valued about people, that I was interested in the whole person, and more about the inside than the outside. I doubt he heard me. If he did, he ignored it.
I geared the conversation towards food. I asked him if he cooked. He said that now he did, but for the longest time all he did was eat in fancy restaurants. He mentioned how an ex-girlfriend turned him into a foodie and a traveler. He also mentioned that she paid for everything. But added: but I am not going into that now.
He also mentioned an ex-girlfriend that disappeared after she spent a weekend at his apartment. He suspects that she was after his money and needed a green card and after she saw that he lived in a studio she thought that there was nothing there for her to go after. He asked me if I agreed with that assumption since the girl in question was also Brazilian. I said: “that calls for a lot of speculation and assumption and I am not about to do that without having her side of the story” I got a disappointed face again.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt
After these painful minutes I got up to leave mentioning a train I had to catch. He got up with me and hugged me good bye. He then asked if I was intimidated by his height. I looked at him in surprise and asked: Why would I? Why would anyone? He looked disappointed again. One would think he is 7 feet tall, but even though he said he is 6’4, I don’t believe it. My boss is 6’4 and this guy was definitely shorter.
Needless to say I had zero interest in getting to know him better. He emailed that night to say that he was unsure about the chemistry – as if there was any chance I would be interested in him. I, humoring him, said: sleep on it.
The next morning I wrote him and I said that there was really zero chemistry and wished him luck. He asked me to keep his number in case I ever had any event to attend and wanted him to accompany me. I wanted to reply that he was just too old to be a gigolo, but chose silence instead.
And another bullet was dodged 🙂
“He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.” – ―